Chapter Text
It was a long while before Raphael was able to see the sun again. A whole year, in fact. He heard that The Garden was finally complete, and of course he was the first to volunteer to go up and stir shit up. He was cold down here.
He needed a disguise, though. After thinking for a longer while than probably was necessary, he decided to take on the appearance of one of the animals he had created. He still didn’t know what to call it, but he didn’t doubt the other creatures God had created had a name for them. He was sad he never got to see their creation; it was surely more spectacular than that of the creation of a boring ol' angel.
He closed his golden eyes and concentrated, thinking of scales and too many bones and venomous fangs. He felt himself fully morph into a snake, as he would later find out they’re called. He opened his eyes to begin slithering towards the surface to see what havoc he could wreak.
It wasn’t long before he burst through the ground, blinking in the bright sunlight. It was almost blinding, even when not looking directly at it. It was so dark down below, he had to allow himself a few minutes for his eyes to adjust. He slithered his way under a shady tree to make the transition a bit easier on himself.
The tree he shaded himself under just so happened to be an apple tree. The apple tree. After inspecting it for a moment, he got an idea.
—————
"Well, that went down like a lead balloon." Raphael said, calmly as he could with his old friend so close to him after all this time.
"Sorry, what was that?" Aziraphale asked. Raphael couldn’t tell if he recognised him or not. He couldn’t look that different, could he?
"I said, well that went down like a lead balloon."
"Ah, yes yes, it did, rather."
"Bit of an overreaction if you ask me." Raphael scowled. A lot of reactions God had were very 'over' as it were. "First offence and everything I don’t... I can’t see what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyways."
"Well it must be bad..." Aziraphale paused, prompting him for a name. Raphael’s heart sunk. Did he really look that different? Or had Aziraphale simply forgotten him altogether? Aziraphale wasn’t one to forget things.
It only took him a seconds thought before he provided the name Crawly. It would suit well enough, at least for now. The other demons had called him all manner of things, none of which sounded nice as names. So, he went with what his beloved snakes did. Crawling along the ground.
He wasn’t sure why he didn’t tell Aziraphale he was Raphael straight up. He supposed, if the angel remembered who he was at all, it would break his heart to know his most trusted friend had Fallen.
—————
Modern Day
Crowley leaned his head back against the armrest of the couch he was lying on, letting out a soft sigh. Aziraphale turned from the bookshelf he was dusting to raise an eyebrow at his friend.
"Are you alright?" The angel asked. Something about the more subtle noise had caught his attention more than Crowley’s dramatic sighing and complaints ever could. Possibly because he could tell the demon wasn’t just attention seeking for the sake of it.
"Yeah, just... remembering some stuff," he closed his eyes, for once not hidden by his glasses, "old stuff, from... before we met." He forced his voice to stay steady. There wasn’t really a 'before they met' for Aziraphale, but the angel didn’t know that.
"Like what?" Aziraphale tilted his head, "there can’t have been a whole lot, we’re about the same age, right?" Crowley frowned.
"Angel... how old do you think I am?"
"Um, six thousand and... twenty something? I never put much thought into it."
"You’re six thousand and twenty four. I’m six thousand, two hundred, and fifteen. Roughly." He opened his eyes and sat up, but still avoided looking at the other celestial.
"You’re really that much older than me? That’s... unexpected." He set down his feather duster to give Crowley all of his attention. "What kind of things were you remembering?"
Crowley chewed his lip, thinking about how much he should say. Would it be wise to just spill everything? They were on the subject after all, no better time to bring it up than now. But was he ready to do that? He had no idea.
"Well, one thing was... there used to be these ceremony things whenever a new type of angel was introduced. Thrones, Principalities, A-Archangels, and whatnot," he tripped over the last one, and prayed (ugh) that Azira hadn’t noticed, "I always liked going to those. It was interesting. I don’t know if you remember that, but I remember all of them." Blurting everything out it was, then.
"I do. I remember mine quite well, actually," Aziraphale frowned slightly, "I think I tripped over my own feet at one point."
"Yeah, you did," Crowley smiled fondly, "most new angels were clumsy, so it wasn’t a big deal."
"Mm. Anything else?"
"Uh, I helped create Eden," he laughed to himself at the shock on the angels face, "I made all the reptiles. I also helped build the night sky, nebulae were probably my favourites."
"You..." Azira frowned deeply, staring down at nothing, "you’re..." he squeezed his eyes shut.
"I probably talked far too much about my projects, but there was always somebody who would listen," Crowley was looking at the angel now, that soft look on his face that he reserved just for Aziraphale, "when I Fell, I thought I’d never see him again."
"R... Raphael?" Aziraphale looked up, an unreadable expression on his face. Crowley let out a breath, whether in relief or as a sort of humourless laugh, he didn’t know.
"Took you long enough."
And before he knew it, Aziraphale had his arms wrapped around him. Crowley had frozen in shock, but quickly relaxed and returned the hug, burying his face in the angels shoulder.
"I’m so sorry, Crowley. I don’t know how I could’ve forgotten you so quickly."
"Divine intervention, is my guess." Crowley mumbled. He could feel the love pouring off of Aziraphale in waves, even moreso than usual. What did this mean? The angel pulled back after a minute and just looked the demon in the eyes.
"I cannot believe didn’t recognise you."
"It’s not like it matters now. We ended up friends again anyways, right?"
"Right."
—————
That night, they laid together on the roof of the bookshop, under a sky full of blinking stars, while Crowley told Aziraphale the stories behind each of them.
"And that one," Crowley pointed at a bright blue one, "I made that one just for you. It’s the same colour as your eyes. I never got to tell you that, though."
"I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me until now, about you being Raphael." Aziraphale mumbled. He hoped Crowley couldn’t see him blushing.
"I didn’t think I could. I thought it would hurt you, somehow." The demon sighed.
"Hurt me? Why would it hurt me?"
"I dunno. Just thought it’d upset you if you knew someone you trusted so much had kinda betrayed you." His voice was soft, and it reminded Aziraphale of that night at the bus stop, after the Armageddon’t. You can stay at my place, if you like.
"I suppose that’s sound reasoning," the angel raised his eyebrows, "but, an unfounded concern."
"Clearly."
They were silent, for a while. It felt comfortable and somehow warm, like a blanket. Crowley found himself inching closer to Aziraphale, for the physical warmth and to feel those waves of love again. It was the pure, unfiltered love of an angel, something he hadn’t been able to feel himself in a long time. He got flashes of it, on occasion, when he brushed up against Aziraphale by accident, but that wasn’t often.
The angel moved his hand to lightly hold the demons, lacing their fingers together. Crowley visibly relaxed.
This felt right.
"I always loved you, you know," Crowley whispered, "or at least, as close as a demon can get to love." The kind of love that didn’t feel quite right in his chest, most likely because it was a pure, positive feeling, to the point where he squashed it down to a shell of the emotion it once was.
Aziraphale gave Crowley that soft smile he had, and Crowley felt like he was going to melt and drip right off the rooftop. Best not think about that too much though, in case it actually happened.
"I think you’d be quite good at love, if you let yourself feel it properly," he glanced down at their joined hands, "though I suppose I could help with that." The two of them laughed softly.
There was another silence, Crowley staring at the stars while Aziraphale gazed at the demon, fascinated by the reflections in his golden eyes.
"I think I always loved you too, Crowley," the angel started as the sky began to lighten, "I just didn’t think I could let myself. Not only because you’re a demon, but I always felt as though I was clinging to something from my past that I couldn’t quite reach or let go of.”
"So... you wouldn’t let yourself love me, because you were already in love with me?"
"Put rather confusingly, yes."
"Pfft."
"Well, it’s not like I knew."
"Fair point."
They watched the stars wink out one by one, for a brief moment content with their place in the universe.