Chapter Text
It was nice to wear clothes that would stay clean for the entirety of the night for once, and it was even better to remember that he had clothes that he couldn’t sacrifice at the expense of feeding and taking care of his baby. He knew that raising a child was never easy, but a baby was a whole different level. He and Shoto took turns in battling with Koji while changing his diaper and feeding him formula instead of snacks, but it didn’t mean that the other one would be off the hook, as they still had another child who needed both of their attention.
Because of that very reason, Izuku was in Eri’s room, fully dressed for the meet up but unable to turn his daughter down when she wanted to have a fancy tea party, pretending to drink tea from an empty teacup with his pinky finger extended, because that’s how Alice drank her tea in Wonderland and Eri would have it no other way.
“Daddy, you’re The Hatter now, okay?” Eri pulled out her pink Uravity hat and handed it to Izuku, which he just placed on top of his head instead of loosening it up by wearing. Seeing another chance to make her finish the real snacks on their very small pink table, Izuku signed quickly before holding a carrot slice in front of her mouth.
The hatter and Alice are childhood friends, right? Alice should eat more so that she grows up like the Hatter!
Luckily, Eri would hardly get fussy about eating, so long as she was accompanied by someone. She looked like a tiny white rabbit as she chewed up on her carrot slice, but it wasn’t the right time to let her know that, she was Alice now.
They both turned towards the door as Shoto entered the room after a knock, with Koji hugging his chest like a koala in his baby carrier.
“Dad, Koji will ruin the party,” whined Eri, already tired of his crying.
“He won’t ruin the party, princess, I promise.”
“I’m Alice!”
“Oh, okay, Alice. And who are you?”
The Mad Hatter, signed Izuku, with a defeated but proud smile on his face.
“Dad, will you be the March Hare, please please?”
“Daddy would make a better bunny, sunshine.” Todoroki shot a knowing glance at Izuku, with a playful smirk forming in his lips. Izuku pressed his lips together at the sight, with a faint tint on his cheeks.
“But daddy is the Hatter, dad, please?”
“Okay then, I promise I will be whatever you want next time, and we will play for hours. And we will find something for Koji too.”
Eri did not seem too pleased with the idea that Koji would take up the time that she would get with both of his parents, though her only reaction was to ignore Shoto’s comment as she combed away her little doll’s hair. Izuku shot a glance at Shoto that carried a bit of worry, making a mental note to himself to deal with this matter later on. He got up from his tiny chair with a heavy sigh and straightened his clothes, catching Eri’s pleading gaze with a regretful smile.
We have to head out now, bug. Nana is dying to see you.
He didn’t need to hear Eri’s whine to know she was displeased with the ending of their playtime as she heard her daddy’s words in her head. It was difficult for Midoriya to keep a straight face when Eri seemed ready to test her limits, how could he when she looked like a tiny white rabbit with those enormous red eyes and puffed up cheeks that looked like she had two apricots on each side of her mouth? Thankfully, Shoto was there to play the part of the serious parent, stretching his hand for their little daughter to hold.
“Come on Alice, the queen is waiting.”
“Which one?”
“Er – the good one?”
“But dad,” the little girl protested as she grabbed Shoto’s waiting hand after putting on her backpack full of her toys and her onesie, “grandma Rei is the White Queen, because her hair is just like hers!”
Shoto had a lot to learn about this new addiction of her daughter, apparently he hadn’t paid enough attention to the movie the first ten times they watched it together. “Okay, let’s go and find Nana a different character then.”
They walked the door hand in hand until they reached the car, with Izuku following behind, picking up the bags on his way out. Eri could climb into the car by herself, and Koji was placed in the baby seat properly as Izuku put the bags in the trunk. “You ready to go, bunny?” Shoto teased his husband with a sly smirk that was not too alien to his features anymore, as his gaze was caught by the blushing man.
“Dad, I told you, he is not the Hare!”
- - - - - - - -
The joyful noises reached their ears before the door was opened by an overzealous Inko, who immediately knelt down with wide open arms to greet her granddaughter with the warmest of hugs. She kissed the little girl with too much longing that one would think they were separated from each other for years, when Eri was just over at his grandmother’s house a few days ago.
“Aw, my beautiful baby, I missed you little princess!”
“She’s Alice now.” Shoto filled in before Eri could protest, feeling proud as he shared his newly acquired knowledge with her mother in law. Inko’s eyes widened comically as she smiled at the little girl, both of her hands cupping her full cheeks.
“Ooh, are you now? Why don’t we play together inside then? Paw Paw will join us too!”
Izuku watched as Eri bounced in her place before Inko freed her from her tight embrace. They waved goodbye to her back as Eri bolted inside without a glance back to her parents, already too excited with the thought that her grandfather would be playing with her too. It was nice to know that she had grandparents who loved her to death, knowing that Endeavour wanted nothing to do with her had it not been for Shoto’s sake. At least Hisashi, Izuku’s father was there to watch her grow, as opposed to the lack of his presence during Izuku’s growth. Inko seemed happier ever since he retired and came back to Japan too, all of her attention was divided between her husband, her grandchildren and the restaurant that they opened up with Hisashi’s severance pay. Speaking of her attention, her eyes were already darted towards the half open window of the car parked in her porch, trying to see the newest addition into their family.
“Izuku, are you not coming in? I wanted to see Koji for a little while, too.” It was nice of Inko to make Eri feel like she was the most loved whenever they talked, because God knows she craved the extra attention ever since Koji invaded her life. Though it did not mean that they loved Koji any less, and Inko was already feeling like she couldn’t survive without seeing them for a week.
Ochako will kill us if we show up late this time, they’re dying to meet Koji, Izuku signed with a shy smile, hating to say no to the woman who birthed him, while Shoto handed her a pink backpack that carried an extra pair of pajamas and outfit, and the toys that she claimed she wouldn’t want but always ended up wanting anyway.
“Oh, alright then. We are going to have a family breakfast this Saturday though, so plan your weekends accordingly!” She chirped before pulling them in a tight hug one by one, seeing them out and watching them drive away from the ajar door.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was Izuku who had the honors of putting the baby carrier on this time, buckling up as Shoto undertook another very important task that was carrying the diaper bag. He could see how hesitant his husband was becoming with every step, the increase of tension in his body visible from the strain of his muscles. He realized his tightened expression softening as he faced the baby in Izuku’s arms, who was kicking and punching the air with such eagerness.
“Are you excited, little bud?” Shoto let his son grab his index finger, moving his hand around so that it won’t find its way into his open mouth.
We don’t have to do this today, you know that right? Shoto’s ears rang as the words flew into his mind through the worried gaze of his Izuku. He took a deep breath before responding, not wanting his voice to be shaky as he spoke, although there would be no one else to hear it but him.
“Do not worry, baby, I’m okay. I know you miss our friends, and I miss them too.” He took Izuku’s hand into his after freeing it from Koji’s clutching fingers. He tried to put on his neutral face as they walked into the apartment and made their way towards the elevators, masking his nervousness with his mastered skills of indifference. Truth be told, he didn’t know if he could pull the same nonchalant act when he had to face Jirou. Would she look at him with disgust? Or would she just stab her by refusing to acknowledge his presence, thus his apologies? There were too many possibilities, and too many things to think about, yet here they were, about to ring the door, and they were about to be engulfed with the attention of their friends –
“Oh my God, you really came! Oh my god oh my god you brought baby Koji too, hi sweetie!” It was burdensome to keep the track of Ochako’s train of thoughts as she lost herself between Izuku and Koji and both of them at the same time. When her eyes landed on Shoto, he was surprised to see warmth in there, he prepared himself for the worst ever since Iida made them promise to come.
“Shoto-kun, welcome! We missed you!” Ochako pulled him in a warm hug, which resulted in an awkward pat on the back from Shoto. But then again, when was it ever not weird with either one of the couple? She invited them in with a hand gesture after pulling apart, giving them a light push towards the living room after closing the door behind them.
“Come on, almost everyone’s here! I’m actually surprised that you’re not the last ones to come!”
Like Ochako said, everyone was there, except for a few notable exceptions. The absence of angry growls in human form and the brightest smile you could ever see topped with the brightest red hair were nowhere to be seen amongst everyone who greeted them from their seats. For Todoroki, the absence of Earphone Jack was more obvious than anyone else in the room, along with those who would never have the chance to be there again. As they said their hellos to each other, Mina and Denki scooted over to open up more space for the couple to squeeze in, mainly because they wanted to be the closest to the youngest guest in the house.
“Hold, up! Is this him? The miracle baby?” Mina cooed as Izuku sat down next to her after giving a head gesture towards Aizawa and Present Mic, who were sitting at where you would assume to be the top of their little cycle. Ochako found his seat next to Iida, eyes as hopeful as ever.
“I’m so glad you came, and brought this little angel with you as well!”
Fumikage tilted his head as he examined the babbling infant. “What name did you give him, Todoroki-kun?”
Shoto felt uneasy with the question, awaiting for such questions but never expecting to delve into this matter so soon. “We, uh…” He trailed off as he turned his gaze towards the baby Koji, holding Mina’s pink fingers like his life depended on it. “We didn’t change his name. He was given the name of his rescuer after his family died, and no family member could be found.”
He knew he had the attention of everyone in the room, so he kept his eyes on his little son rather than facing his friends, it was more comfortable this way. “He was rescued by Koji, near the forest. The earthquake got the better of mostly everyone in the village, and he was called for the rescue mission to find the survivors. Baby Koji was found by him on the second day, that’s all we know.”
The room went silent for a while, almost like they were quietly paying their respects to their long gone friend at the mention of his heroic deeds.
“Did you, uh… Knew? That he was rescued by him?” Aizawa broke the silence, his voice unbelievably thicker than usual. Shoto understood that he was asking about whether this was the main reason why they chose to adopt him. A vague smile formed at the corner of his lips as he looked up at him.
“Well, we did. But what made our choice final was learning that he has hearing impairment, and we… Just wanted to make his life easier for him, by giving him all the love he deserves.”
Izuku could be deaf but he was not blind, and he could almost see the room going darker with gloom. He stopped playing rubbing Koji’s belly and prevented him from falling to the side with his arm as he added in a little more information that he thought was needed to be mentioned.
Also, his name was already perfect for us. The kanji symbols in his name literally means ‘a happy, little son,’ and it also has the meaning of ‘bright,’ so it kind of made sense since Shoto calls Eri his sunshine…
And there he was, lost in the smallest details again. Few in their group already knew the story, but it still made Ochako cover his mouth with both hands as she looked at the trio with loaded eyes. The silence was getting heavier for Shoto though, he didn’t want anyone to take pity on them as parents or his son, he wanted them to know that they were stronger together. He promised to himself that he would never be the type of father that Endeavour was to him, and he certainly never wanted his children to feel any less than they are because some jerks thought differences could be weaknesses. Luckily, before he could open his mouth to make few things clear, the bell rang again. He found himself hoping that it wouldn’t be the person that he wanted to avoid at all costs tonight, but when was luck ever on his side? There appeared Bakugou and Eijirou at first, both wearing very different expressions from each other as one looked already bored while the other beamed with joy. They were not the ones he feared to see though, it was the much smaller figure standing next to them, waving them all a quick hello before grabbing a chair right next to the door, away from the cycle and almost looking as if she was holding the door. Shoto turned his head before his eyes could meet hers, focusing himself on the pair that found themselves a place to sit together next to Tooru and Mashirao. He heard her muttering that she met them at the door, which made him wonder how long she had been there before the two showed up.
“Sorry we’re late! Something came up.”
“I didn’t want to fucking come.” Bakugou blurted out despite his husband’s attempt at courtesy. Someone, probably Tooru, muttered an ‘as always’ before Eijirou gave a light hearted laugh and a punch on Bakugou’s arm, “You just wanted to watch The Incredibles with Kota again! Speaking of, there’s a little fella that I haven’t met yet!” Izuku chuckled lightly as he made Koji wave at the red haired boulder sitting across them.
“I just couldn’t avoid it when the Earphone Jack-ass rang the doorbell.”
“Did we miss anything?” Eijirou asked, ignoring Bakugou’s made-up statement as he yanked a pillow from behind to play peek-a-boo with the baby.
Mina was already making little attempts to move the baby over to her lap. “Only the cutest story of all time.”
It really was a scene to see, all these pro heroes going crazy over a baby, a baby that was rescued by a dear friend who met his tragic end so soon. It should have reminded them how instant their own deaths could be, but being around a little bean completely altered their moods into a much brighter one, all in sync and harmony. Shoto didn’t know how he fit into this atmosphere, given the fact that he readied himself for a lot of brooding to the point that he didn’t know what to do with all this light conversation.
“How many times have I been an uncle now? It’s so bizarre!” Denki exclaimed as he leaned over Mina to touch the tiny hand of the baby. “He is so soft!”
“That’s how babies are supposed to be, weirdo.” Sero said as he tried his best to see the baby next to his best friend, but alas, it was almost impossible with the way Denki styled his hair.
“The reminder of how soft human hands can be despite our calloused ones must be shocking for you.” Tsuyu blurted out from across the room, his pointer between placed under his lips and his big eyes darted on the little thing.
“Um, there’s this thing called manicure.” Yuga stated, looking as fabulous as ever.
“There’s also this thing called rescue missions, ribbit.”
The conversation flowed and filled up a whole pool of missed jokes and gossip for Izuku, but he didn’t mind. He caught up with Mina and Sero, and listened to Denki's venting about how hard it is to take care of a house even without a child. To that Hitoshi only grunted, given the fact that Denki did not contribute much to the cleanliness of their shared apartment. It was as clear as vodka that the two were not ready to take care of anyone else at the moment, while Mina went borderline crazy over how cute and well-behaved Koji was. It was definitely a plus that the loud voices did not bother their little son, though all these new faces definitely confused him. Izuku asked Present Mic, aka the kinder host, where he could take Koji to check up on him, and change his diaper if needed. He was told to go in the second room on the left side of the corridor, which Izuku assumed to be the guest room, and nodded slightly before turning around to get the diaper bag from Shoto’s side. He averted his eyes as she passed Jirou, feeling all too stiff when he promised himself to not be this awkward on his first encounter with her. What a great start for breaking the ice.
Izuku gave a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him, grateful for a border between him and everybody else. Not because he hated being around them or anything, but keeping up with a large group of people kind of put strain on him. That was partly one of the reasons why he knew choosing the option of becoming a friendly neighborhood hero was better for him, he was more of a help in an area that he could observe without paying too much attention to every little foreign thing that could be a possible threat in a sticky situation.
He changed Koji’s diaper and even gave him some leg exercise before putting his onesie on again, but it didn’t feel like enough time had passed for him to feel ready about going out there yet. So he took out a little bottle of puree from the bag along with a tiny spoon, maybe he could feed Koji a little bit of snack before putting him to sleep. Just as he put Koji’s apron on, he jumped out of his skin with a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up to face the intruder with eyes wider than they usually were, he was taken in by surprise by the second time. It was Jirou, standing right above him, her emotionless stare pinning him down just by sheer force. It could all be his imagination though, since her hand did not feel heavy on his shoulder at all. She removed her hand after soon after, probably realizing how nervous her touch seemed to make the boy. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I just needed a breather, is all.”
Izuku nodded understandingly, that was why he tried to extend his little trip to the guest room with Koji in the first place. “I just didn’t want to go outside, they’d think I’m running away or something, you know? I could leave if you want to be alone though.”
He quickly shook his free hand, already feeling much guiltier than necessary. He thought he might have made her feel unwanted without realizing, or maybe she felt lonely and ostracized after what happened, who could have known? He patted the couch to indicate that she was welcome to join them as Izuku tried to feed Koji, he could always need a helping hand as long as a baby and a bottle of puree were involved anyway. He opened the lid of the bottle carefully and took only a little bit of an amount on the spoon before feeding it to Koji, catching the fallouts with the same spoon for the second round. It was all too peaceful for a moment, with Jirou helping him out by cleaning Koji’s face and keeping him steady and Koji waving around his teething toy a little bit too vigorously. It didn’t take him long to pick up on the longing expression covering her face though, which cracked their little illusion and brought the stone cold truth on the table again. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her now, not wanting to miss a thing that she could say. And she actually did talk, her words piercing right through Izuku one by one.
“We were going to adopt a child.”
Izuku didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to think. He also didn’t know how to react. He couldn’t just give his condolences, not now, not again. He also couldn’t say he was sorry again, although he really was, he felt like it was making him and Shoto accept the guilt even more and more. It took him a month for Izuku to finally see Shoto pull himself together again, and he wanted to be selfish for his husband’s mental health just for this once.
She deserved to live a long, fulfilling life. His words ran through Jirou’s mind, startling her as she was not used to Izuku using his main quirk on her. She shook her head with a sigh as she registered Izuku’s words, her eyes were still locked on the babbling mess barely sitting on his own right between them.
“She did. She deserved to live. And I often thought she deserved to live more than anyone.” This made Izuku tense up with discomfort and shock, completely frozen with her bold words. What was that supposed to mean? How, no, why would she say that to him? He tried to swallow but his throat was drier than ever. Koji started to fuss a little, either because he sensed his daddy’s anxiousness, or simply because he wanted another spoonful of his puree, but it was enough to trigger Izuku back to reality. He shook his head as if he was trying to shake off his shock, watching intently as she ran a hand on Koji’s cheek, his parental instincts kicking in.
“Of course, I don’t think that anymore.” She paused for a second, snapping her fingers in the air to distract Koji as Izuku snapped out of it and held another spoonful of puree before him. He didn’t seem in the mood to eat anymore, he was already moving and fidgeting too much. He closed the lid and put it in a plastic bag with the spoon before packing everything up, not wanting to spend another second alone with Jirou now. Not with Koji around.
“Izuku,” Jirou put a hand on his knee this time to get his attention. “I really don’t anymore. How can I? You… Todoroki… You two…” Seeing the tears forming in her eyes made his sting with the familiar wetness clouding his vision as well, he couldn’t stand watching someone cry. More importantly, he couldn’t stand watching a friend grieving over her lover’s death. Momo’s passing took a toll on everyone, but he didn’t even want to imagine how he would feel if he ever lost Shoto, so suddenly at that.
“You two have a family. What we wanted to have. And the timing, your adoption, the process, and our decision… It all… Lines up, you know?” She used her jacket’s arm to wipe her tears off, although more tears stained her face instantly.
“She… She would want it to be this way. She would want Shoto to be the one to get back to his family… To his children – and to you… I – I didn’t, couldn’t, understand why, but you know Momo, she –”
She has the kindest heart.
A chuckle mixed with a gasp for breath left her mouth, although deaf to Izuku’s ears. “Yes, she does.”
They couldn’t bring themselves to talk about her in past tense now, feeling her absence with all the bitterness of grief like iodine on a deep cut. The sting was going to fade away soon, and the scar was going to heal, but it was still there, with all its ugliness and pain, fresh and bleeding.
Shoto couldn’t stop blaming himself, thinking that there could be a way if he tried hard enough… Hearing this from you will take off a little bit of his burden –
“No– no!” Jirou put his hands on her ears as if to block the unspoken words from reaching her mind. “I – I am not ready to talk to him yet. I can’t just… forgive him that easily.”
Izuku bit his lips, so she needed time. He took Koji back into his arms rocking him lightly. Jirou must have felt his confusion rising again, his expressions were giving everything away, just like in high school.
“I wanted you to know… That I understand why she was the one. I can see why she did, what she did, that led up to this… I just can’t bring myself to accept why anyone there had to sacrifice themselves, their lives, dreams… It is… unfair, watching him with you and his family, while I am… You know. But I get it.”
She gave Izuku a broken smile, that pierced through Izuku’s heart even more, as if he could see more into her sorrow through her half crooked lips, feeling crushed down under only the visible part of her pain. It was only the tip of the iceberg, he knew, and yet it still hurt beyond belief.
“Not gonna lie, I also wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t take my side just because they take pity on me. I’m tired of people taking my side just because I have been through a lot – that’s not what I want. I’m a hero too, and I know the consequences. And I also know that a hero should do everyone in their power to save people. It makes me fall in love with her even more, and sympathize with Shoto all the less.”
I just hope you find your inner peace soon. And I wish I could help you more. I’d want to be there for you, if I didn’t think it would hurt you even more –
“You can be,” Jirou stopped his train of words once again (God, she was fast) as she caressed Koji’s soft hair with the back of her hand. “I’d like to spend more time with the kids, those are the ones Momo wanted to protect, after all.”
Izuku couldn’t help but nod, feeling kind of pleased to find a way to help a friend find her way back to sanity again. He turned around when he saw Jirou staring at the ajar door, to find Kacchan looking at them from the corridor. They stared at each other for a while, before Bakugou vanished into the darkness of the corridor, and it was just them and their awkward silence again. Jirou brought his hand up to clean the tracks of tears on Izuku’s face.
“Let’s head back inside, they probably started already.” She took Koji’s bag for him, and Izuku held the half asleep baby closer to his chest as they walked out of the guestroom to join the others again. Shoto was looking worried when he got back to his seat, he was gone longer than expected, after all, and with Jirou too? He blinked like a cat to assure him that everything was alright, although he couldn’t quite make a meaning out of why Bakugou was listening in on them, or why he kept on staring at him with thoughtful eyes all throughout the evening.