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Everybody was yelling and asking for explanations but they weren’t giving him time to answer and his head started to hurt from all the screaming. It was Tony the first one to notice this “Everyone shut up!” Everybody ceased at once staring wide eyed at Tony, “Are you ok Peter?” Tony asked in a much lower voice, at the question everyone turned their attention to Peter who had shrunk down on his seat covering his ears, filling everyone with guilt for forgetting that yelling all at once in a very closed space is bad for Peter.
“Yeah I’ll be ok just… can you guys like I don’t know raise your hand if you have a question or something? I can’t handle all the screaming.” Peter said in a very quiet voice massaging his temples and all at once everyone’s hands shot up.
“Dad you go first,” Peter signaled to his father to ask his questions. “First of all I’m sorry for all the yapping I promise it won’t happen again.” Tony says earning a small smile from Peter and a soft 'thank you' while everyone else murmured their agreement. “As for my questions they are actually very simple: are you sure that you’re pregnant? and if so how are you pregnant?” Everybody grunted their acceptance of the question, being it basically the same thing that they’ve been wondering.
“Well to summarize it, it has to do with the spider bite when the spider bit me it separated my DNA in two as we know. My human DNA and my spider DNA, so biologically as a human I’m a male… but as a spider I’m a female. I didn’t know this until I was puking my guts out and went and scanned myself and noticed that there was something… different, there was something like a mix between an egg sack and a uterus formed and there was signs of a fetus or fetuses being there. After having an existential crisis about the fact that there is a FUCKING UTERUS in me, I ran some test to determinate how did it get there because in previous scans of me I didn’t have it. It turns out that the spider in me entered in a mating cycle without me knowing and well we-“ Peter suddenly stopped and looked at Morgan, “the rest is not PG so I’ll omit it.” He settled on saying and everyone chuckled at Morgan’s expression, “ 'm not a baby,” she murmured and Peter raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at her. “You wanna know the details of how your brother got pregnant?” He challenged her, she grimaced as did everyone else except Clint who was trying really hard not to laugh at his friends expressions, “Point taken” she grumbled. “ Thought so, next question.”
Bruce raised his hand and Peter acknowledge it with a nod of his head, “ What did you mean when you said fetus or fetuses are you saying there’s more than one?” That got everybody’s attention seeming to have forgotten that slip. “Well I don’t think it’s gonna be one based on the fact that spiders can lay from two to a thousand eggs while mating, obviously I can’t have one thousand kids,” at that everybody relaxed again, “but humans can have up to ten babies at the same time, however since my primary biology is male not female I don’t believe that I’ll have ten babies but it’ll probably variate from two to seven maybe eight. Wade and I made peace with the fact that we’re probably gonna have an entire soccer team coming out of me.” Peter says in a resignation tone that tells them that he went through a lot coming to terms with this.
“Peter you just said coming out of you… where are the babies going to y’know come out” asked Natasha she didn’t raised her hand but nobody’s gonna fight her on that and that’s a very good question. “Well… my best guess is that if my body accommodated itself to make the space for an actual uterus.. it’ll make a.. birth canal of some sort… if not the I guess I’ll have to have a C-section.”
“Birth channel…”
“Eight babies…”
“He’s a female spider…”
Peter started to rub his temples to try to see if it would help ease the headache that it was forming. It wasn’t helping at all. “Guys I know that this is a lot to process I had a few breakdowns never mind Wade. he passed out when I told him,” they laugh and it helps ease the tension “but it is happening so I would appreciate if you could be on board because I’m gonna- we are gonna need all the help we can get to raise a bunch of potentially enhanced babies,” the corner of Peter’s eyes started to sting damn hormones Peter thought.
“Of course we’re going to be here for you underoos,” Tony said getting up to give his son a hug followed by his wife and daughter, and soon every member of their weird and dysfunctional family, Peter was now full on crying. “I love you guys so much,” Peter got out in between sobs. “We love you too and I can’t wait to meet Wade and Ellie, we should have them over for dinner on Friday with May and Happy as well of course, would that be okay?” Pepper said her own eyes getting teary. “That sounds amazing, I know Ellie is gonna be ecstatic to meet you guys specially Morgan, since she doesn’t have a lot of friends her own age” Peter says, a fond smile crossing over his features.
“Why is that?” asked Morgan confused, according to Peter Ellie sounds like a cool and sweet girl, “She doesn’t tolerate when people comment on Wade’s scars or the fact that she has two parents. A teacher at her school actually asked her if she felt safe in her house, when Ellie asked why she thought she would feel unsafe her teacher said and I quote 'I know that living with two sinners can involve kids in their debauchery so just said the word and I’ll get you out of that house.'” Horrified gasps when around and Loki and surprisingly Natasha had absolutely murderous looks on their faces, “I’m going to kill that hateful wrench” Loki spat and Peter had no doubt in his mind that he would do it given the chance, “no you’re not, is actually unnecessary” Peter said with a smirk.
“After Ellie heard the crap that came out of her mouth she stood there and told her teacher 'miss can you accompany to the principal’s office I want to report harassment’ the teacher thought she was talking about me and Wade so she went with her. When they got to the principal’s office she told her principal to call her parents Wade and I rushed over thinking something happened to Ellie, when we got there and sat down Ellie’s teacher looked at us with a look of pure hatred and Ellie stood up gave us a hug. Which made her teacher confused and Ellie told us ' I’m sorry for scaring you guys but I wanted you to watch me slay then she looked at the principal who was very confused at this point and told her Miss Deborah just harassed me and insulted me and my family. Her teacher started to spurt as Ellie turned at her ‘do not try to defend yourself you’ve been this way ever since my dad came for the bake sale last month.’ Then she told her principal all the things her teacher has been saying and her principal told her that was a serious accusation and I asked why didn’t she told us sooner then. And this is when I question if she had ever met Natasha and Tony because she told all three of us 'that’s because I started to collect data I needed enough proof of her saying this kind of stuff to discredit her ever since the bake sale where she was looking at dad with disgust and told me if you ever need help let me know. I’ve been filming her every time she pulls me aside from the group or asked me to stay for a little bit after class just so she can say whatever poop thing her poop mouth can come up with.' She then show us said film and her teacher was fired and her teaching license was revoked.”
Everybody was shocked but had smiles in they faces Loki a particularly proud one “That’s my niece,” he said which made everyone laugh. “Oh I’m gonna like her so much,” said Morgan who was holding her stomach for laughing so hard “I already like her and I haven’t met her” said Tony with Natasha nodding in agreement.
“Yeah she’s amazing but after that the whole school found out about what happened and won’t come close to her in fear she’s gonna get them expelled if they say something about me or Wade. She has only one friend who his mothers are friends with Wade from the PTA meetings, I’m hoping that the fact that she’s changing schools helps her to make more friends. I’m less stressed since Micah (her best friend) is going to that high school as well.” “Oh! What’s school is she getting into?” asked a very excited Morgan since she was also getting into high school herself though she has yet to pick which school she was going to. “She told me she wanted to keep the family tradition so she’s going to my old school.”
Morgan turns to her father eyes full of mischief “Well that solves the school picking,” she said with a smirk “Imma talk to Laura to send Nathaniel there as well! Family’s gotta stick together!” yelled Clint and everybody started laughing and Peter felt warmth growing in his chest and a loving smile adorning his face, yeah he has an amazing family and is gonna keep growing.