Chapter Text
“We need to stop by at Lazlayon today”, Nikolai said to Tolya, who greeted him in front of the palace, waiting with two horses. “I told David and Genya I would meet them there to go over some new developments.”
His captain of guard nodded. “Of course, your Highness.” Tolya hated the bunker just as much as the underground tunnels, but he never complained. “Tamar is outside training. Should I call her?”
Nikolai shook his head. “Have you seen Zoya?”
“Probably with Tamar”, Tolya replied. “New Grisha soldiers have been brought here today. With greetings from Nina Zenik.”
Nikolai grinned at the prospect, swinging himself onto his horse. They would ride fast and silent, so no one noticed the king gone. They could do without public outroar today, or the whispers a visit at Count Kirigin’s estate would bring. Usually they could have traveled through the tunnels, but Nikolai didn’t wish to bring Tolya further pain.
When they rode past the training grounds Nikolai scanned the groups of Grisha, looking for his General. Tamar was standing in the fighting pit, swinging her axes and instructing, but he couldn’t see Zoya anywhere. Perhaps she was inside, writing correspondence. Nikolai hadn’t seen her this morning, and he was slowly beginning to miss her presence. He had grown used to her spicy comments early in the mornings.
They arrived at Kirigin’s estate, leaving their horses and walking up to the front door. Most of the lights inside were still dimmed, and Nikolai found himself wondering whether the Count was still sleeping. It was already midday.
Tolya knocked on the door, while keeping his eyes peeled on the surroundings. “Seems like he is still asleep”, he commented, knocking again, this time more firmly.
Nikolai smirked slightly at the prospect at Kirigin’s ecstatic parties, the ones people gossiped about at the Little Palace all the time. They seemed to be quite the fun.
Finally the door was opened, the Count standing in the doorway. He was shirtless, wearing only a black pair of silk pyjama bottoms. His hair was ruffled, falling into his eyes, and he was strongly smelling of whiskey. “Your Highness!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “What a pleasure.” He looked rather hungover.
“Wild night?” Nikolai asked lightly, looking at Tolya’s grim expression. A little fun was never wrong, in his opinion. He admired Kirigin for his carefree lifestyle.
The Count nodded. “You have no idea.” He was shaking his head, inviting them inside.
Nikolai stepped into the entrance hall, looking around in the house. It was smelling of expensive alcohol, most of the blinds still down. A huge staircase let upstairs, where something rumpled. Nikolai raised a brow at the sound. “Company?” he asked.
Kirgin laughed, running a hand through his hair. Just in this moment, someone appeared at the top of the stairs. Nikolai froze instantly. Because even in the dim light, he recognized her. He would recognize his general everywhere.
Zoya was wearing a blue nightgown wrapped around her body, stepping down the first few steps. When her gaze met Nikolai’s she tensed visibly, also freezing on the spot. “Your Highness”, she said, her voice audibly strained. She pulled the silk fabric closer around her body, quickly smoothing out her hair.
He was still speechless. His gaze traveled from Zoya to Kirigin - shirtless Kirigin - and then back to Zoya. Yet again, he felt jealousy rush through his veins. Because he still remembered the morning in the war room. Back then, Zoya had said this thing was over. Obviously she had changed her mind.
“Can I get something for you, your Highness?” Kirigin interrupted the silence, obviously not having noticed the sudden tension. Zoya had turned on her heel and disappeared upstairs, perhaps to get dressed properly.
Nikolai didn’t want to think about her in the Count’s bedroom. “No”, he said tensed, glaring at Tolya. “We will just visit the bunker.”
Kirigin bowed respectfully. “Of course.” He gestured towards the entrance to the supposed wine cellar. “Feel free to wander around, your Highness.”
Nikolai nodded shortly, then walked off. He didn’t want to look at Kirigin any longer. Tolya followed with some space, obviously sensing Nikolai’s tension. But he never said a word, only walked in silence.
What was she doing here? The answer was obvious, but he didn’t wish to think that far. Why had she told him it was over? They had reached lab David liked to work in, and Nikolai barked inside without knocking. He was much too angry to think about being polite right now.
Genya jumped from her chair when he came inside, looking properly surprised at his entrance. “Nikolai”, she said, sounding confused. “What happened?” She glared at Tolya, who was waiting next to the door.
“Nothing”, he replied, trying to ignore the tension within him. Zoya could do what she wanted, and also who she wanted. That was none of his business. “How far along with the poison are we?” He was desperately trying to occupy his brain with something else.
Unfortunately, just in this moment the door was opened. Zoya stepped inside, looking just like she always did. Her blue kefta was glowing, her hair sleek and falling over her back.
Genya cast her a surprise look. “I didn’t know you were coming”, she noted. “Aren’t you training with the new soldiers?”
Zoya cleared her throat, crossing her arms while holding as much space between her and Nikolai as possible. “I was interested in your progress”, she replied firmly.
“Also she was already here, which was very convenient”, Nikolai remarked, trying to keep the edge from his voice but failed catastrophically. “Instead of in the capital, doing her job.”
Zoya shot him a warning glance, which very clearly said shut up or I’ll make you. She was shifting uncomfortably.
But Genya had already understood. She giggled a little. “I see”, she mused. “So much about tossing away your play thing.”
Zoya rolled her eyes, stepping from one foot onto the other and giving David an expectant look. “Are you going to tell us about the poison or not?” she snapped, in her usual tone.
David then started a long talk about how he and Genya had found an almost perfect weapon to be used in warfare, against khergud as well as normal soldiers. Nikolai watched Zoya’s face while listening, seeing the general’s mind at work. She was asking questions occasionally, probably already planning to tear down the Fjerdan defenses. They truly had no idea what - or who - was coming for them.
It didn’t help with Nikolai’s anger though, and it distracted him enough for him not to have the faintest idea what David had talked about. He tried to act attentively, nodding from time to time, but he couldn’t get the image of Zoya on those stairs out of his head. What was going on with him?
Eventually, he couldn’t hold back anymore. “We need to talk”, he told Zoya, gripping her arm and almost dragging her out of the room under the surprised glances of Tolya, Genya and David. They were probably thinking he had lost his mind.
“Let go of me”, Zoya protested, pulling herself free once they were in the corridor outside the room. Nikolai pushed the door shut. “What’s your problem?” she hissed, lifting her chin and giving him a stubborn look.
He was guessing she had a very good idea what his problem was. “You are supposed to be in Os Alta”, Nikolai said angrily, keeping his eyes pinned on her. He refused to look anywhere else but her face.
“Why do you care?” Zoya snapped back, crossing her arms.
Yes, why did he care? “You lied to me”, he replied, this time much calmer. “When you said it was over.”
For a second she looked almost guilty. “I didn’t lie”, Zoya muttered, giving him a stubborn look. “I didn’t exactly plan this.”
Now that statement did little to improve Nikolai’s mood. Instead he felt new rage boil up within him. It wasn’t like him to get angry like this, but he couldn’t help himself. But arguing was tedious, especially with Zoya, and he didn’t know how to explain his feeling anyway.
Without further thinking, he crossed the distance between the two of them and crashed his lips down onto hers. He could feel Zoya tensing in surprise at first, then her fingers running over his neckline as she melted into his arms. She gasped as he pushed her roughly against the wall, his fingers wandering down her back. Fairly enough, he had no idea what he was even doing. But she was kissing him back, which was a good start. He allowed himself to relax into the kiss, into the feel of Zoya‘s lips against his own, the hot feeling of desire rushing through him as soon as her skin touched his.
Eventually Nikolai ran out of breath, pulling back slightly for a moment. He kept Zoya pinned against the wall, scared she might slip away from his touch.
Her blue eyes were watchful as she leaned her head back against the wall, gasping for air. “If I knew you being jealous would be so much fun I would have started seeing Kirigin a lot sooner”, she commented, her lips curling up in a smile.
Nikolai rolled his eyes, placing a few kisses against the skin of her neck. “I’m not jealous”, he muttered, although it was probably a useless argument. “I just don’t like for you to settle below your standards, Nazyalensky.” His lips touched her collarbone.
Zoya huffed, playing with the ends of his hair. “And you are my standard, your Highness?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.
“Definitely”, he replied, pressing his lips against hers again. Zoya wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer. She still tasted of whiskey, but he couldn’t mind any less. It felt deep and firm and absolutely addicting, and there was no way he would ever get the sensation of Zoya in his arms out of his mind.
He got lost in the kiss again, and later he couldn’t have said if they had kissed for an hour or a minute.
Suddenly someone cleared his throat, and Nikolai jumped back in surprise. Genya was standing in the doorway, her eyes wide in confusion. “Oh”, she exclaimed. “That’s why you took so long coming back.”
Zoya was clearing her throat, giving Nikolai a quick look since he was still holding her against the wall. “Could you let go of me?”
He stepped away quickly, under the amused looks of Genya. Zoya was sorting her hair out, then turned to Genya. “What’s so important it couldn’t wait another minute?”
Genya raised a brow. “
Minute?
You’ve been gone almost fifteen minutes!” She shook her head. “I thought you might have murdered each other.” She added a sigh. “But we just ran a test with the poison and thought you might be interested in the results?”
Zoya leaned forward slightly, her lips very close to Nikolai’s ear. “By the way”, she purred. “I’m going to the party tomorrow with Kirigin.” Her eyes met his, and she was smirking. “So you might want to find yourself a date as well.” With those words, she slipped away from him and back into the room. Nikolai could only stare after her.
The next evening, Ravka was celebrating the Summer Solstice. Nikolai was hosting a party in the Little Palace - or more so, Genya was hosting a party. She had planned it all herself, and was now happily chatting with guests, delivering drinks, and running around.
Nikolai himself was sitting in one of the corner’s, already done with the obligatory small talk he had been doing, and was instead staring into his drink. It was his third whiskey, and he could feel it going to his head. He didn’t have Zoya’s immunity to alcohol.
Just as he had finished that thought, she came walking in. His general had chosen blue silk for tonight, hugging each one of her curves perfectly. She was walking on Kirigin’s arm as expected, his eyes clinging to her with every move. Nikolai felt the strong urge to leave and go for a walk. Although obviously, he couldn’t.
Instead he watched Kirigin lead Zoya onto the dancefloor, with a mixture of anger and frustration. For a second her eyes flickered to him, and a small smile spread across her lips before she turned away.
“Your Highness”, a voice interrupted his sulking, and Nikolai looked up.
Genya was giving him an unhappy look. “You’re not enjoying my party”, she observed. “David already left to his workshop, too”, she added, sounding genuinely upset.
Nikolai sighed. “It’s a lovely party, Genya. You’ve outdone yourself.”
She smiled widely at the words, then her eyes drifted over to the dancing couples. “So it’s Zoya’s company who ruined your mood?” Her eyes were sympathetic.
He quickly drowned the rest of his whiskey. “I shouldn’t have kissed her”, he blurted out. Because now he couldn’t stop thinking about her lips on his. The feeling was haunting him. Like he had gotten addicted.
Genya sighed deeply. “You probably shouldn’t have, but it’s too late now, isn’t it?” She took the empty glass from his hands. “You should stop drinking, your Highness.”
Nikolai was watching Zoya leave the dancefloor, Kirigin at her heels. He was talking about something apparently, and she was smiling mildly while batting her lashes. “I disagree, my dear Genya”, he replied dryly. “I haven’t drunk enough just yet.”
Genya didn’t stop him when he drowned another bottle of whiskey all by himself, and neither did anyone else.
Afterwards, he felt dizzy enough that walking over to Zoya felt like a good plan. He interrupted Kirigin mid-conversation, presenting his most charming smile. “May I borrow my general for just a moment?” he asked, already reaching for Zoya’s arm.
Kirigin bowed respectfully. “Of course, your Highness”, he added, then took his leave at last.
“You’re drunk”, Zoya observed, her hand lazily resting on Nikolai’s shoulder as he pulled her onto the dancefloor, perhaps with a little more force than necessary. Her blue eyes were resting on his face, studying his expression. “You seem a little on edge today, your Highness”, she added.
Nikolai pulled her closer, his arm wrapping around her waist. He could feel a shiver running over her skin beneath his fingertips. “Is Kirigin aware that you’re using him?” he whispered into her ear, letting his lips brush over her skin.
Zoya tensed at the touch, her lashes fluttering for a second. So he did have an effect on her, after all. “None of your concern, your Highness”, she replied, pulling away as far as possible without breaking the dance. “It’s quite enjoyable to see you jealous”, she added, a smirk crossing her lips.
“I’m simply worried about the poor Kirigin’s heart”, he replied, trying to keep his voice flat. Because honestly, that was the last thing which concerned him.
Zoya gave him a long look, her fingers briefly brushing over his neckline. “And what about your heart, Nikolai?” she asked, the hint of a smile on her lips. “Aren’t you worried about that?”
His own heart was already lost. He found himself faintly wishing for more whiskey. The song ended, and he was forced to let go of Zoya. She straightened her dress, giving him a last glance, and swept away. Kirigin was handing her a drink as she reached him.
Genya was suddenly next to Nikolai, reaching for his arm and pulling him away. “You really need to stop staring like this, your Highness”, she muttered, hands on her hips as she blocked Zoya from his view. “People will notice!”
Usually, he would have cared. But after the whiskey, that thought had slipped to the back of his mind. “I can’t believe she’s here with
him
”, he muttered, more to himself than to Genya.
But she seemed to have understood just fine. “I’m sorry”, she said quietly. “But Zoya is only doing this because she knows she could never come here with
you.
”
That caught Nikolai’s attention. “What?”
Genya sighed. “You’re the king. She’s your general.” Her eyes were watching attentively. “She’s just upset.”
Quite honestly, Zoya did not seem upset at all. Just now, she was laughing at something Kirigin had said while nipping on her drink. “I just want... “ But he didn’t finish. What did he want?
“Before making any decisions, you should sober up”, Genya added. “Right now. Before drawing any more attention.” She smiled. “Please.”
He didn’t wish to upset Genya, and so he followed the request and left the party, just when Kirigin pulled Zoya back onto the dancefloor. Her eyes met his for a second, but then she was swallowed by the crowd.
But Nikolai didn’t walk straight to his rooms. Instead he stepped out into the cool air of the balcony, letting the breeze brush over his skin. It cleared his head a little, although he was still reasonably drunk.
Suddenly, there were steps behind him. He turned around swiftly, having to steady himself on the balcony railing to prevent stumbling.
Zoya raised a brow at that, her skin basically radiant in the moonlight. “You really shouldn’t drink”, she commented, approaching him slowly. “I thought Genya sent you to bed”, she added.
Nikolai shrugged. “I found some fresh air very helpful”, he replied, but not with his usual spite.
Zoya still smiled, stopping in front of him. “You need a lot more than fresh air to sober up, your Highness”, she remarked, looking up at him. She looked even more beautiful like this, bathed in moonlight. If that was even possible.
For a moment, he could only stare at her. There was no witty remark on his tongue, nothing he could have said. And so instead, he finally gave in to the sensation and kissed her.
Zoya’s fingers curled up in his shirt as he pushed her backwards against the railing, hands brushing through her hair, feeling her skin under his fingertips. He could feel her all over him, the scent of wildflowers around him, making him much more dizzy than whiskey ever could. It was truly maddening.
“Nikolai”, Zoya muttered as his lips went down her neck, her lashes fluttering. “Someone will see-” She brushed a finger over his collarbone, where a button from his shirt had come undone. “We can’t risk it”, she added.
He watched her for a moment, the whiskey still pulsating through his veins. This was a terrible idea. A truly terrible idea. “Let’s go inside then”, he said quietly, lips brushing against hers again. A promise for more.
Zoya hesitated. She was the sober one, after all. “You wouldn’t be saying this if you were sober”, she muttered, looking away as if to hide the look on her face.
“I would”, Nikolai disagreed. “I only got drunk because otherwise I might have murdered Kirigin right on the spot, and I can’t effort that for my reputation.”
A spark of amusement passed over her face. “You should go to bed”, she replied, dropping her hands.
Perhaps Nikolai should be thanking Zoya for this piece of logic from her side, because his seemed to have disappeared somewhere at the bottom of a whiskey glass.
Surprisingly enough, she followed him to his chambers nonetheless. “Just making sure you don’t get lost again”, she remarked as the door fell shut behind them, and Nikolai sank down on the edge of his bed.
But she was still here, in the middle of his room, watching his every move.
“You can stay”, he offered, again.
Zoya gave him a sharp look. “To chain you to the bed again, your Highness?” she asked sweetly.
Nikolai grinned, leaning back against his pillows. “Chain me to whatever piece of furniture you like, Nazyalensky”, he shrugged. “I’m open to suggestions.”
Zoya was rolling her eyes, but sat down on the edge of the bed regardless. “You’re an idiot, Nikolai.” And still, she didn’t leave.
He felt an odd kind of satisfaction when she rolled onto her stomach next to him, resting her head on one of his pillows.
“But keep your hands to yourself, your Highness”, Zoya muttered, brushing a hand through her hair. “Don’t get any ideas.”
He huffed, pulling the blanket over the two of them. “I would never even dare”, he replied.
When Genya walked into the room the next morning to check on Nikolai, she was surprised to find Zoya sleeping in the king’s arms, her head peacefully resting on his chest. She didn’t have the heart to wake them, and so silently slipped out again.