Chapter Text
Peter felt sick.
Every time he looked at the still figure of aunt May on the hospital bed, his head spun. Everything ached. There was a sickening amount of seafoam in front of him that looking at left him nauseous, and suddenly Tony’s voice was nothing but a distant echo.
Aunt May was really dead .
Just like that.
Peter hadn’t even realized he had interrupted Tony when he quickly said, “Can I… I, I need some fresh air. Alone.”
An expression of worry and concern came over Tony’s face, and Peter could tell he was going to protest, but he spoke again before Tony could.
“Please. I’m not going anywhere, I promise, I just… I need five minutes.”
Tony nodded, although it was obvious he wanted to keep an eye on Peter right now. But he needed time alone, some time to think. His mind was drifting from memory to memory, desperately trying to hold onto what left he had of aunt May. Every breath he took without her presence sent the remains of his shattered heart scraping against his insides, though he would lie if he didn’t say Tony’s comfort was easing the pain.
“I’ll be out in five.” Tony pulled his arm back from Peter’s shoulder. “Kid, I think you should stay with me at the Compound for some time. I mean, unless you got anyone else? A friend, maybe? Your guy in the chair— what’s his name again? Ted?”
Peter had to stifle a small laugh at his effort at Ned’s name. “It’s Ned .”
Ned was in Oregon to visit some family, and would be there for another week or so. If only he knew MJ’s family better he could perhaps have stayed with her, but she didn’t talk much about them whenever the subject came up, nor had he ever met them. That left him with no one else but the one and only, Tony Stark, the man who had come here all the way from Beijing just for him. Peter wasn’t going to lie; if he hadn’t come, he’s not sure if he would have had it in him to call him. There were times where he had been critically injured on patrol and Karen had called Tony despite him telling her not to— his pride only let him do so much.
“But seriously— you’d do that for me? I don’t wanna burden you.”
Tony was his mentor and friend, but so much more than that. Peter looked up to him. There were afternoons where the two would casually work on the projects that Tony describes as ‘internship stuff’ also known as, you guessed it, Spider-Man suit- or gadget upgrades. Sometimes Tony would help him with his homework the few other times he got invited over to the Compound. But he had never thought a day would come when Tony would even offer him something like this. Tony Stark was a busy man, and Peter tried his best to think that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t doing this out of pure pity.
“Kid, you’re going through a rough patch right now. Of course you can count on me,” Tony assured him. His response made Peter think that perhaps there was something more to their bond after all.
The boy’s gaze fell to the floor, perhaps to hide the blush on his cheeks, but that’s something he would never admit. Then his mind began to wander again: the burning building scene that left his chest hollow played in front of his eyes, and his jaws dropped. He collapsed back into the chair and suddenly it was incredibly hard to breathe.
Tony seemed to have sensed this, as he quickly approached Peter, worried eyes looking him up and down.
“Hey…” he began in a soft tone and crouched down in front of him. “What’s wrong, Pete?”
Peter refused to meet his gaze. He hated to be seen like this— he was supposed to be Spider-Man, not a big, emotional whump. He would’ve thought going through so many deaths in his family, he would get used to it and it would somehow be easier to deal with the grief, but it was the complete opposite. Aunt May’s death was without doubt the most difficult one to deal with; it seemed like he would never truly recover from this.
“I just… I should have been there. I know I could have saved her—“ Peter tried, but he was quickly interrupted.
“I’m gonna stop you right there, bud,” Tony cut in and gestured with his hand. He sighed and pulled up one of the chairs so he could sit in front of Peter and talk.
“I know you think it’s somehow your job to save everyone, that everyone‘s safety depends on you, but it’s not like that,” Tony said. “You can’t always save everyone. That’s the hard part of the whole superhero job.”
Peter lowered his head. He had heard some version of that speech before, and it didn’t help the least. His mind continued to wander, each thought starting with the same word: if . What if? What if he had gotten there faster? What if he had never gone out on a patrol today— what if he had stayed at home?
“I should have saved her…” His words tore through his throat. His eyes were already starting to fill with tears— God , how he hated crying in front of Iron Man , how he hated how vulnerable and embarrassed it made him feel, but he couldn’t stop himself. His hands were clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief that was destroying him on the inside.
“Parker, eyes up. Look at me.”
The boy’s head slowly tilted up, bloodshot eyes instantly locking on Tony’s friendlier brown gaze. It seemed to had taken Tony a bit by surprise, as his expression softened and he went quiet for a moment.
“You wanna blame yourself, huh? Somehow convince yourself that it’s your own doing? Wanna go down that road? Fine.” His words caused a frown upon Peter’s face.
“But believe it or not, you are not responsible for this, no matter what you tell yourself.” His tone was stern and serious, but Peter could tell it was another speech to make him feel better and release the weight on his shoulders, and strangely enough worked it a little.
The teenager brought a hand up to his eyes to wipe away a lone tear that was tracing down his cheek and leaned his head back against the wall.
“I just… I can’t believe it, you know? After everything… it all ends here.” Peter wiped at his nose and scoffed. Was this really the way his life was supposed to go? Was this the universe’s fucked up way of playing with him?
“A bit dramatic to say it ends, wouldn’t you agree? Think of it as an obstacle, one you’ll get by.” Tony gave him a reassuring smile and rose from the chair. “Now, how ‘bout we both just head out to the car, hm? It’s a two hour ride to the Compound, and it’s way past midnight already.”
Part of him didn’t want to leave aunt May’s side, but he nodded nevertheless, as Tony was probably right. However, as he stood up he realized he was still in his Spider-Man suit.
“Wait.” He looked helplessly towards Tony. “I don’t have anything to wear other than this. We can’t just waltz out of here when I’m in the suit, it will be all over the news, no doubt.”
Tony chuckled, obviously amused. “Yeah, how’s that gonna be? Breaking News: Tony Stark and Spider-Boy fighting crime at local hospitals!’”
Scoffing, Peter couldn’t help but send a snarky comment back. “You know it’s Spider-Man, not Spider-Boy.”
“Point is, I’ll handle it. Don’t worry.” Looking down at the boy, Tony winced slightly at how tore the suit was and the fact that it was covered in soot and ugly marks. Peter, however, wasn’t very pleased with his response. He would rather not have people find out his identity, even about something so simple. He sent him a look that said it all and Tony instantly caught it.
“Alright, fine !” He groaned. “How ‘bout you go out the window then, and I’ll meet you in the parking lot? Is that better? Sounds good?”
Peter nodded and let out a breath of relief. Thankfully they were only at the second floor, so it would only take him mere seconds to get to the car. He had rode Tony’s car multiple times already and was fairly certain he knew which one it was, not that it would be difficult to spot it, though.
For the first time that evening, Peter genuinely smiled. “Thanks.”
Tony looked at him for a moment, as if he was trying to hold onto the moment of the teen smiling, before he headed towards the door. “I’ll be right there, I just gotta talk to some people outside first.”
⋆ ⋆ ⋆
The car ride was mostly quiet. Peter was sitting in the front passenger seat of the black Audi and as he couldn’t sleep, he had opted to looking outside the window of the driving vehicle. The gentle ‘pitter patter’ of rain was now pouring down in great sheets, hammering against the window and creating puddles in which the streetlights reflected through. The coldness of the November night rainfall seeped through the car, and had it not been for Tony, who had insisted to have the seat warmer turned on and even given him a blanket , he would have been freezing at this point. Peter had never seen much of the concerned part of him before, but he had to say it was comforting to have someone look after him after everything he had been through.
He shifted his position in the seat so he could look ahead. The hairs in the back of his neck suddenly rose and and an uncertain feeling was starting to form in his gut, though he wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong. A frown on his face, he looked around his surroundings, from outside of the window to Tony, to the back window of the car, where he saw nothing but another car on their tails.
“You alright there, Pete?” Tony asked, who had noticed his unease.
“Yeah…” Peter trailed off, figuring it was probably just his body trying to tell him to get something into his system. He settled back into his seat and let it go. “It’s nothing.”
Hunger was practically gnawing on his insides at this point. He hadn’t eaten in several hours, and his enhanced metabolism didn’t help the least. He was debating whether or not he should ask Tony if they could stop at the next gas station, but he didn’t want to be annoying or needy. The man had after all come all the way to Queens just to get him, so Peter didn’t want to put any more stress on him. Besides, he wasn’t sure if he actually had it in him to eat. All he felt was numb.
However, about another twenty minutes into the ride, his stomach was beginning to hurt so he reluctantly called the billionaire philanthropist’s name.
“Hey, Mr. Stark?”
“Tony.”
“—Tony.” Peter said after Tony had corrected him. He was quiet for a moment, apparently too long, as the man quirked a brow at him and sent him multiple glances from behind the steering wheel. Peter immediately regretted calling his name.
“I, uh,” he began hesitantly. Tony raised his brows.
Peter stopped fiddling with the blanket and looked back at him. “I’m kinda… hungry.”
His voice was low and had come out as a low mumble, so he wasn’t surprised with his Tony’s response.
“Come again?”
“I said I’m hungry .” Okay, that may have sounded a bit colder than he had intended to. Damn it, Peter.
Tony sighed. Although his voice was calm, it was obvious he was annoyed. “Kid, seriously? We literally just left. Can’t you wait?”
Peter could tell he was trying not to sound hostile. He looked away again, though he knew Tony’s eyes were still on him. I guess I can wait, he thought to himself, a little disappointed— but hey, what could he expect? It was still a long way left to the Compound and it was understandable Tony wanted to get there as soon as possible, he did too.
Tony returned his attention to the road, both of them falling silent for a short moment. A confused look painted on Peter’s face as the man suddenly was pulling up into the gas station by their side.
“Alright, what do you want?”
Peter straightened himself so he could look directly at him. “Mr. Stark…”
“Kid, what did I just tell you?” The man cocked his brows at him, waiting for an answer that certainly wasn’t Mr. Stark.
“Tony,” he corrected himself. “You didn’t have to—“
“It’s nothing, Pete,” he quickly cut in, seeming much less irritated now. “I have to fill the tank anyways. I’ll just get you something… you stay put here, yeah?”
Peter nodded and watched the man exit the car, letting silence absorb him completely. If this had been a few days ago, he would have had no problem with sitting in a car by himself, but there was something unsettling about the strange feeling within him and the fact that they were at a gas station with creepy neon lights in the middle of nowhere. When Tony finished filling the tank and walked into the station, Peter sighed and opened the car door, deciding that he should probably get some fresh air before they continued on. The boy stood up and wrapped the dark gray blanket around him so the upper part of the suit was completely hidden, making it look like he was only wearing some kind of red boots.
Looking around, there wasn’t much sign of life other than at the gas station. Everywhere around it were trees, except for the motorway and some houses in the far distance. After exploring his surroundings, Peter’s gaze immediately fell on another car at the station, his Spidey Sense seeming at ease for a moment. That only made Peter more eager to find out what was going on. The car was a normal black SUV, although it was one he recognized from earlier on when his senses had gone off in the first place. Suddenly, as paranoid as he could be, he began to wonder if someone could be following them. His sixth sense warned him of danger— it added up.
Peter had only been staring at the car for a split second before it suddenly roared to life, roughly scurrying to the motorway and speeding away. It almost seemed like it had been startled at the way Peter had noticed it, hurrying away before he could do anything else. Part of him wanted desperately to follow it, but his feet seemed to be tied to the ground somehow.
“Here you go, bud.”
It was Tony’s voice. As he turned around, the man tossed him a granola bar and a bottle of cola over the roof of the car. Peter easily caught the items and seated himself back in the car, wiping the death stare off his face.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Since Peter had already been at the compound a couple of times already, he wasn’t surprised when they were greeted by FRIDAY’s voice. What surprised him was how quiet it was here. Sure, it was almost 3am, but stepping into such a quiet facility felt like entering a whole other world.
“Is anyone else here?” He asked.
Tony put his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Just Natasha, Clint and Steve. I doubt you’ll see much of them, though.”
Before Peter even realized it, Tony had led Peter to a part of the Compound he had never seen before. He found himself standing in Tony Stark’s own private living area. If he had known this was going to be his future when he first had met Tony Stark, briefly two years ago, Peter would be freaking out at this moment and fangirling at the extreme. But now, actually being here here… he just felt more empty than ever.
Standing in the corridor and glancing ahead towards the living room, Peter found it way less extravagant than he had ever imagined. The ceiling was relatively low here, but as he slowly moved forward to follow Tony, he could see the ceiling suddenly became taller so the fancy LED lamps could hang down nicely. The floor was of dark wood, perfectly polished and free of dust.
Two expensive, dark gray couches stood the opposite sides of each on the hand-woven rug in front of the electric fireplace, accompanied by rich dark red wing-chairs that stood as a sidekicks. In the middle was a low table, holding candles, books and pot of white orchids. There were paintings, a tall bookshelf and fancy plants— all which fit perfectly with the rest of the furniture.
The windows were large enough to let in maximum light into the wide, spacey area, but fashioned so well that the home stayed warm and homely. They were decorated with thin curtains that hanged gracefully to the floor, curtains that would add an orange glow to the morning light that would flutter through in a matter of hours.
To the left was a sleek, professionally designed and modern kitchen, filled with several family pictures on a shelf. To the right was a big room closed off by walls but opened with an arched doorway, and further away was the dining room and another hallway Peter assumed led to the rooms.
Peter had never felt so unsure about something like this in his life before. It felt like he wasn’t meant to be here, yet he proceeded to follow Tony through his home until he led him to a room at the end of the hallway he guessed was a guest bedroom. His only hope was that his suit’s footwear wasn’t leaving much of a trail.
The guest bedroom itself was beautiful like the rest of the home, but way simpler designed. In the middle was a king sized bed with large pillows and white and turquoise sheets, beautiful paintings on the wall, a lamp on the bedside table, and two doors to the right Peter had no idea where went. He didn’t know why Tony hadn’t just led him to the room he had originally made for him after the Homecoming scenario, but he appreciated him not doing it. It was comforting to have Tony around right now, despite that he felt guilty standing here in the doorway, guilty for being such a burden.
“Make yourself at home,” Tony said with a small smile.
Peter stood there for a moment before he reluctantly moved towards the bed and sat down at the front, instantly feeling like he was being swallowed by a giant marshmallow. He had never sat at something so soft before, and apparently it showed, because it made Tony chuckle.
“There’s towels in the bathroom, there,” he gestured towards the right mystery door. “If you wanna take a shower or something— which you probably should, by the way. That one,” he pointed at the other mystery door. “Is a closet. That reminds me, you probably need some clothes, right? I’ll see what I can find.”
The couple of seconds Tony was gone to find him something to wear, Peter could only sit and stare right ahead with a blank expression on his face. He knew he needed some clothes, he had to get out of the broken suit. There was no doubt he needed a good shower. But he didn’t want to. All he wanted was to just lie down for a second, just one second so he could process everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.
Although he was quiet, Peter knew Tony was looking at him from the doorway. He had the clothes in his hand, so he didn’t understand why he was still standing there, just looking at him. Did he really look that terrible? Was he judging him? Peter eventually decided to meet his gaze, only to be met by the same concerned look he had seen almost throughout the entire evening. The man approached him with the clothes; a t-shirt with a school logo he didn’t recognize, and some joggers stretched from years of wear.
Peter frowned upon looking at the t-shirt. He couldn’t put together why Tony was giving this to him; this was clearly a totem from one of his past schools, and as he still had it, he figured it must be special to him. It seemed like something you would hide away in the back of your closet and give to your own children when the day came.
“You look like shit.”
The four words shook Peter back to reality. So he was judging him all the time he had been standing in the doorway. Peter looked up from the clothes and chuckled at his joke. “I know.”
Tony gave the teenage boy a pat on his shoulder and handed him a washcloth, which Peter accepted but only stared dumbfoundedly at for the next couple of seconds.
“Do you need help?”
Peter swallowed hard.
“Yeah.”
Was it childish? Maybe. At this point, he didn’t care that Tony saw this vulnerable side of him. It was obvious he just wanted to help, and Peter was going to let him. He wasn’t going to shut himself away from the world. He certainly did not want to to lose Tony too.
Putting the clothes in Peter’s lap aside, Tony grabbed the washcloth and moved it up to Peter’s face, gently cleaning the soot and ash on his face away while holding the boy’s head steady with his other hand. Peter remembered the times when May had used to clean him up when he had been targeted by some bullies back in Middle School. It felt strange to have Tony in this role, but for once he felt like he actually had someone to turn to, someone who he was comfortable sharing Spider-Man stuff with. He trusted him like he was family.
“Tony,” Peter suddenly spoke. He had to get this weight off his chest.
Tony didn’t look back at him. “Mhm.”
“You…” the teen began, hating how his words came out as if he was five years old. “You’re not gonna leave me too, are you?”
That’s when Tony stopped wiping at his face. He stared at him, unable to speak for a moment.
“Kid, you’re gonna be stuck with me for a long time.”
Peter felt ten pounds lighter at his answer. He had to laugh a little, admiring how Tony could change the serious atmosphere around them into something warmer and more lovable just like that.
“Guess you’re gonna be stuck with me too, then.”
The man chuckled. “Kid, I don’t mind at all. ”
Sighing, he spoke again and retrieved the washcloth. “Alright, is late. It’s fine if you wanna just jump into the clothes and shower later,” he said. “I’ll be in the room across the hall if you need anything. Try to get some sleep, will you?”
Peter nodded, I’ll try.
A hot shower sounded good about now, it was a chance to scrub himself clean; however Peter was going to wait until the morning. But having Tony around and not being alone in this, he couldn’t help but think that from here on things would improve.