Chapter Text
Nesryn scanned these street, looking both ways for a gap between the speeding cars. Steeling her jaw when she saw an opening, the baker's daughter took off for the other side. A car honked. Its horn, although loud and blaring, barely stood out against the other noises made by the city.
Tightening her grip on the paper bag in her hand, Nesryn heading up into the apartment building before her, taking the stairs two at a time. It wasn't even mid-morning yet but Nesryn could tell today was gearing up to be a good one. So good she almost felt like humming.
She'd started her day early running with Aelin and Fleetfoot while the sky had still been dark. Aelin, being the borderline psychotic competitor that she was, called it the "beat the sun run". It was silly and tiring, but fun, too, and they always ended the race by stopping at the bakery Nesryn's father owned.
The two of them had gotten some cinnamon buns as a reward, and they'd been so good Nesryn grabbed two more to share with Sartaq and Borte. The three were supposed to meet up later that day at the archery range.
She had some time, though, and since she was currently closer to Chaol's place than her own, she figured she'd stop by to see him. She hoped he was home. It was still pretty early, but Chaol and Aelin were practically cut from the same fabric when it came to work outs.
Nesryn halted, wondering if she should text him first. His door was just down the hallway, though, so she might as well continue on. Of course, she thought wryly, the one time I try to be a good girlfriend and he's not even home .
Shaking her head, she pulled out the key Chaol had given her ages ago and entered the apartment. "Chaol?" She called out, expecting him to be in his room or perhaps in the bathroom. Back to the rest of the apartment, she placed the cinnamon buns on the kitchen counter and kicked off her shoes. "I thought I'd stop by before heading to the range. Maybe we could--"
"Hi, Nesryn."
Nesryn words died her in mouth, their ghosts fell from her tongue. She knew that voice, and it didn't belong to Chaol.
Turning around to face the speaker, Nesryn greeted, "Hi Yrene." She swallowed, "What brings you here so early?"
Fingers twisting awkwardly, Yrene shrugged then nodded to the couch in the living room. "Therapy ran a little late last night. Chaol offered me his couch."
Midnight eyes flicked over to the living room. The couch did look like someone had slept on it. The back pillows had been removed and several sheets laid over it. Yrene wasn't lying about where she slept, and yet that didn't ease the strange weight growing in the pit of Nesryn's belly.
"How's his back?" Nesryn asked, because she didn't know what else to say. Yrene had been Chaol's physical therapist for almost six months now, ever since a car accident had almost left him paralyzed. The woman truly was a miracle worker, and Chaol was practically as good as new.
"Good--it's good." Yrene looked around the apartment, her eyes refusing to land on Nesryn. "He should be able to walk without the cane soon enough."
Nesryn nodded, and a suffocating silence took up the space between them. Although Yrene and Chaol had grown close during their time together, the same couldn't be said for the two women. Nesryn didn't dislike Yrene, per say, she just didn't know her. Nor did she try to, if she were being honest with herself.
"Chaol's in the shower," Yrene said and then immediately winced. A pretty blush dusted itself over her golden brown cheeks and Nesryn had to bite back a sigh. "I mean--"
"It's okay," Nesryn shrugged. Jamming her feet back into her shoes--the heels were flattened, but she'd fix them later--she grabbed her bag of baked goods and said, "I have to head out anyway. Tell him I'll call later?"
Before Yrene could so much as nod her head, Nesryn was out of the apartment. The door closed softly behind her and as it did, Nesryn felt a weight lift from her chest. Shaking her head, Nesryn pulled out her phone. She scrolled through picture after picture until she found Sartaq’s goofy smile. A small smile found its way onto her lips and she pressed the green call button.
He picked up on the second ring. "Hey," she greeted quickly as she hustled down the hallway and back towards the street. "Mind if we meet up now?”
“Sure,” he said, his voice still sleepy. Nesryn winced, realizing she must have woken him up. She was about to take it back, to let him go back to bed, when he continued, “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
Nesryn took a deep breath and found herself stopping in the middle of an intersection. She could just tell him to forget it, that she wasn’t thinking, but instead, very softly, she said, “Thanks.”
A horn blared, making the dark haired girl flinch. The driver honked his horn again, his muffled shouts of anger and derision still audible even with all his windows closed. Ending the call, Nesryn quickly continued on her way.
After two trains, one bus, a bit of walking, and another train, Nesryn finally exited Adarlan and entered Antica. Sometimes the trip was quick and painless, taking less than twenty minutes, and other times, like today, it took nearly an hour. Huffing as she ran, Nesryn arrived at The Aerie with a stitch in her side and a wince on her lips.
"Sartaq," she greeted breathlessly once she found him waiting on a bench inside the lobby. "I'm so sorry I'm late."
Shrugging, Sartaq gave her an easy smile, "No biggie. Were you coming from Westfall’s or something?"
Yrene Towers flashed through her mind, and Nesryn grimaced.
Dark eyes narrowed, "What happened?"
"Nothing," Nesryn shook her head, unsure of what to say. In truth, she was unsure of everything. Finding Yrene in Chaol's apartment so early like she had . . . it hadn't made her angry. It hadn't even made her sad, but that was the problem. Nesryn didn't feel anything. Why don't I feel anything? She wondered.
Running a hand through her short hair, Nesryn changed the subject by shoving the bag of baked goods into his arms. “Cinnamon buns,” she said shortly, “from the bakery. There’s one for you and Borte.” She looked out the back window at the patrons shooting their arrows at a variety of targets. “Borte’s still coming right?”
“Probably,” Sartaq said, opening the brown paper bag and taking a small sniff. “She might even bring Yeren since she spent the night as his place.”
“They are the weirdest couple.” Nesryn had never seen a couple fight more. They argued over everything, from where they sat in the movie theaters to who ordered first at a restaurant. And yet, she countered, they actually seem happy with each other.
“Yeah,” Sartaq was already several bites into the bun by the time he responded to her comment, “it’s like opposites attract. Or a kinky thing for them.” Nesryn blinked, but didn’t have a chance to fully process what her friend had said before he asked, “Now, what’s going on with you and Westfall?”
There was a glint in Sartaq’s eyes. Nesryn knew it well. It was a sign that he’d dug his heels in and wouldn’t be appeased until he’d gotten answers. And while Nesryn found it slightly inconvenient for it to be aimed at her, her heart began to thunder in her ears at the sight of it.
“Can we just,” Nesryn started, but then paused when she saw his lips pursue. Changing tactics, she asked, “Can we at least shoot something first?”
Sartaq relented, and they rented out their bows and quivers and headed out onto the grounds. The pair made their way past dozens of archers, and almost all of them took the time to greet or wave hello to Sartaq. That’s what happens , she supposed, when you’re the son of a billionaire. Sartaq’s father, Urus Khagan, practically owned all of Antica. He had a hand in every inch of its politics, and nothing happened in the city without him knowing about it. And even though Sartaq and his father weren’t exactly close, people still cosied up to him, knowing he had his father’s ear.
Nesryn and Sartaq set up base all the way at the end of The Aerie’s property, as far away from other people as they could get. Urus’ son could rub elbows with the best of them, but right now neither archer felt very social.
Knocking her arrow, Nesryn took a deep breath, then let it loose. The arrow’s aim was true, and punctured through the ear of a dummy deer.
Sartaq whistled, “Going for the ye already? What’d Westfall do this time? Cheat on you or something?” Nesryn said nothing and simply readied another arrow. “Wait--shit. Really?”
Relaxing the bow string, Nesryn bit down on her lower lip. “No, not really.” She told him what she saw, what she walked into this morning and then waited. Bow and arrow aimed at the ground, Nesryn waited for her friend to speak.
Arms crossed over his chest, Sartaq cocked his head, “So he didn’t cheat? I’m confused.”
Lips twisting, Nesryn tried to explain, “I don’t think they did anything, but I think,” her mouth was dry all of a sudden. “I think they wanted to.” They’d been close for some time now, Nesryn had noticed. And Chaol seemed happier around her. Happier than he’d been with her in ages.
“You seem oddly okay with that.”
Looking down at her feet, a battle occured within herself as she determined how much to tell Sartaq. He’s your best friend, her mind reasoned. If you can’t tell him, then who can you tell?
“It would’ve been easier,” she confessed, her eyes still honed in on her feet. “If they had. To break up, I mean.”
Even without looking at him, Nesryn would tell Sartaq had gone deathly still. Tightening the grip on her bow, she rushed to explain, “Chaol and I just haven’t . . . there hasn’t been anything between us for a long time now.” She kicked at the grass beneath her feet and began to pace. “Not since he gave me a key to his place--longer, even. But we’ve been together for so long now, I don’t think either of us knows how to end things, and--”
“So you don’t love him?”
“What?” Nesryn stopped her pacing and finally looked up at Sartaq. His dark eyes were bright and intense. It was like looking into a black hole where you could just barely make out where the star used to be. His gaze was all encompassing and enticing, and, Nesryn realized belatedly, much closer than she’d originally thought. Their chests were almost pressed together now, and Nesryn had to crane her neck a bit to see him properly.
Sartaq cocked his head to the side, making his long dark hair spill over his shoulder. Nesryn’s breath caught at the sight of it. “You don’t love Westfall?”
“No,” Nesryn answered, the truth of it escaping from her lips took a weight off her shoulders as well. It was why she didn’t feel anything back at the apartment. Why the possibility of Chaol cheating on her didn’t affect her in the slightest. “We never even said that--I love you. It just,” again, that weird feeling settled in the bottom of her stomach. “It never came up.”
“I would tell you,” Sartaq said, his voice so soft that Nesryn found herself rising up onto her tiptoes to hear better.
Then, his words sank in. “What?” She asked, her voice just as soft.
Sartaq’s face was close, so close she could feel his breath fan against her face. “If you’d have me, I’d say those words to you everyday for the rest of my life.”
The bow and arrow dropped from Nesryn’s hands. Does he--is he--? Her mind tried to make sense of what Sartaq was trying to say. Patiently he waited, his dark eyes trained on her own. His tongue flickered out to wet his bottom lip, and Nesryn felt more feeling in her body in that one moment for Sartaq than she had felt for Chaol in their entire relationship.
“Let me say those words, Nesryn. Say yes,” Sartaq whispered as he brought his hand up to cup the side of her neck. Her heart beat, beat, beat, until, Nesryn swore, it stopped altogether. Then, like an arrow to the heart, he ended her by saying, “Please.”
Closing the distance between them, Nesryn sighed into his mouth as his lips met hers. So this is what it feels like , she wondered, amazed. Opening her mouth to tug on his bottom lip with her teeth, Nesryn pulled away as Sartaq released a deep-throated moan. Kissing her way up his cheek and towards his ear, Nesryn whispered, “Yes.”
A shudder rippled through Sartaq’s back and his arms quickly wound around Nesryn’s frame, pulling her in even closer. Resting his forehead against hers, Sartaq smiled. It was large and gleeful, full of victory and adoration. Sartaq leaned in to kiss her forehead, then her eyes. Her nose, then one cheek and then the other. He went to kiss her lips again, but pulled away at the last moment, leaving Nesryn waiting.
Laughing, he kissed her quickly once, then twice. “I love you, Nesryn Faliq.” Thrice.
Nesryn laughed too. How had she not seen it? How had she not realized? Shaking her head, she banished the thought away. Not wanting to waste any more time, Nesryn cupped Sartaq’s face in both hands and said, “And I love you.”