Chapter Text
Lily didn’t awake for two full days after she was loaded into the ambulance. With so many injuries, her body fell into a deep sleep. When she awoke, nurses and doctors filled the room, prescribing medications, changing bandages, asking her constant questions. FBI agents filed in and out, asking her question after question about her experience with Lestrange. When she wasn’t trying to use her hoarse voice to answer questions, she was dead asleep.
It was a week before she awoke and the room was finally empty. She swallowed thickly, looking to her right. The crisp hospital sheets crinkled as she shifted gingerly. A window covered in shades, let in a filtered view of a sunrise over the city of Los Angeles. Lily looked to her left, and James stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, watching her.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he murmured, pulling a chair over to her bed.
Neither of them said anything. Lily cleared her throat. “Did they catch Lestrange?” No one had told her anything, only asking question after question.
“Yeah… yeah, we did. Bit of a chase, but we got him.”
Lily suddenly couldn’t see. Her eyes were filled with burning tears. “Is… Am I going to have to change my identity?”
James blew out his breath, and Lily finally noticed that it looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. “McGonagall is here, actually, arrived here this morning. She said… no, but you can’t trust that. Lestrange took a plea deal. If he told us who he told about you, both he and Rosier would get a smaller sentence, and we would drop any charges on Ava.” He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the dark locks. “We have no idea if we can trust him because he claims he only told Rosier. Sam was out of town, and Lestrange had no contact with him. Ava has no idea who you really are, she just knew something about you was odd.”
Lily stared out the window, willing herself to force down her emotions.
James grabbed her hand that was laying on the bed. “It’s a mess right now, but we’ll sort it out.”
Tears started to fall now, slowly at first, and then all at once. Embarrassed, she tried to raise her arms to wipe at her eyes, but James pushed her arms down as she winced in pain. He reached over and brushed his thumb over her cheeks, meeting her eyes directly. She leaned into his touch, resting her head on his hand, grateful that he was there.
The corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he watched her, and Lily let out a tiny laugh. The smile spread across his face, and he dropped his head to rest on the bed, his shoulders hunching over. His thumb brushed over her hand, and Lily had to suppress a smile at the tender gesture. They were both exhausted, and as Lily watched James snore softly, drifted off to sleep.
Eventually, James was forced out as another flurry of agents and nurses came into the room, although he promised he would be back the next day.
XXX
It was nearly dinner time the two days later, and James still hadn’t been by to see Lily. She’d done her best to convince herself that he was busy, but she was close to being released from the hospital, meaning she didn’t need as much medical attention, and the constant investigators in and out seemed to finally slow down.
Which meant she finally had time to think. Which was definitely bad. Especially when every time someone came into her room, her heart leaped because she thought it was James. And she had lots of time to think about why that might be.
She had just flipped on the tiny TV in her room to distract herself when there was a knock at the door. Marlene and Sirius stood in the doorway, each grinning brightly. Lily’s face instantly lit up, and she opened her arms for a hug. Marlene came in first squealing, followed by Sirius who was smirking and dressed in his usual leather jacket.
“What are you guys doing here?” Lily asked, sitting up straighter.
Marlene and Sirius exchanged glances, pulling chairs up to the bed. “You’re getting released tomorrow, and James has to stay to take care of a few things, so McGonagall asked us to come help get you home.”
Lily’s smile faltered a little bit. She wasn’t in bad enough shape to need an escort home, meaning that something else was going on. Was Lestrange free again? Had they failed again? She raised an eyebrow. “I thought I was going to stay here for a little longer in case they had any more questions about the investigation.”
Marlene winked. “McGonagall also wanted us to give you some news.”
Lily raised her eyebrows even higher, heart pounding. “And…?”
“Good or bad first?” Sirius said, propping his feet on the bed. His eyes looked red and his hair was more disheveled than usual. She would have questioned him about it first, but his question stopped her heart.
“Bad.” She balled her hands into fists to brace herself, letting her fingernails dig into her skin.
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but shook it and looked away. Marlene quickly stepped in. “You remember how Lestrange mentioned the traitor? It… It was Peter.” Lily’s eyes widened, not sure if she had heard correctly. “One of Riddle’s men threatened him. He’s been feeding information from the precinct for almost a year. Luckily, Peter wasn’t working on the Riddle project, so he didn’t know that you were the one who was undercover.”
Lily sat back, releasing her fists as she processed this new development. Peter had always been nice to her, but they hadn’t talked much other than work-related issues and had never really connected. It wasn’t a big deal to her, but - James. He was going to be broken up about this. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had been friends forever. Sirius was clearly already distraught, but James was the most loyal person she knew, and this must have hit him hard. She nodded, finally relaxing. At least that was one less thing to worry about. “What’s the good news?”
Now, Marlene smiled, and Sirius finally relaxed. “You’re safe! Lestrange didn’t send out any texts or calls in the time he was free, except one to Sam to ask where he was. He was with Rosier the entire time - and through all the cross-interrogation - they never had a questionable story. McGonagall made the decision an hour ago.”
Lily promptly burst into tears. “I’m safe? I’m free?”
Marlene pulled her in for a hug. “You can return to normal, Lils. You’re safe.”
XXX
Lily returned to Chicago two days later, accompanied by Marlene and Sirius, the best travel companions she could ask for. They dropped her off at her apartment with a kitchen full of groceries and strict instructions to rest. She didn’t think anyone would tell her otherwise, so she decided to take several weeks off before she returned to work.
She didn’t see or hear from James for another week, so she spent her time cleaning her apartment, watching friends. reruns, and trying to learn photography, something she had wanted to do forever that had gotten pushed to the side in the past couple of years. Marlene and Dorcas visited often, Remus and Sirius popped in several times, and even McGonagall had visited to give her courtroom updates. She was still jumpy at every knock, still carried a gun with her at all times, and didn’t leave the apartment except to get groceries. Eventually, she’d get over it, but it would take a while before she truly let herself be free again, despite what McGonagall promised about her safety.
Knowing this, her friends generally texted her before they visited, so when an unanticipated knock came at the door, she jumped at the sound. She was eating yogurt in the kitchen, and set it down carefully, pulling her gun from her waistband. When she opened the door, James turned around, hands in pockets, hair rumpled as usual. Instead of her heart calming, it seemed to race even faster. He spotted the gun hidden behind her leg, raising his arms. “Just me, Evans,” he said gently. Lily rolled her eyes and stepped back to let him inside.
He kicked off his shoes. “Can I get you anything?” Lily asked, tucking the gun back into her waistband. James shook his head, then held out his hand. Lily raised a questioning eyebrow. James rolled his eyes, pulling out a stool to sit at the kitchen counter. “Gun.”
Lily shook her head, unwilling to give up the only thing that made her feel safe lately. “I’m fine.”
James repeated his hand motion, eyebrows raised, and Lily pulled it out reluctantly, setting it in his hand. He checked the safety and then put it on top of her fridge, but didn’t say anything else about it, which Lily was extremely grateful for. “How are you feeling?”
Lily shrugged, bending over so that she could pull her long hair into a bun. When she righted herself, James was giving her an odd look. “What?”
“Nothing, you just - your hair looks nice down.”
Lily turned her head slightly, confused, but let her hair fall back down to her shoulders. She scanned him briefly. He seemed nervous, although she didn’t know why. They had lived together for a month, worked together for almost nine months, and he had literally seen her at her worst moments, so there were almost no boundaries between them anymore. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter. “Um, I never got to properly thank you for coming back for me.” She looked into his dark brown eyes, then looked quickly away. Even with all her time in the hospital, she hadn’t figured out why she hoped everyone who visited her was James instead, or why every time her phone rang she was disappointed when it wasn’t him. “I wasn’t sure -” her voice cracked, and she looked down at her calloused fingers. “I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to make it back, or that anyone would ever find me.”
James shrugged now, smirking. “You know me, Evans. I never give up a fight.” Lily poked his shoulder. He looked away, becoming sheepish. “I felt awful when you didn’t come out of the house. I parked a few blocks away so I wouldn’t get caught, planning to come back in a couple of minutes to repark and look casual. But you must have gotten taken really quick because nothing seemed wrong. But then… you didn’t come out. I called McGonagall, who, by the way, is super, super angry still and promised to give us both a huge lecture once you officially return to work. Anyways, she called in the big guns.” He ran a hand through his hair, causing his shirt to lift and expose his toned skin above his waistband. Lily tried to look away but was highly unsuccessful, and felt a slight blush spread across her cheeks. “Ava’s house was empty. We had no idea where you were, but Ava had a book of addresses. Not a smart move on her part, but anyway - we went to each one, searching thoroughly… Forty-eight hours. That’s why it took so long. Those forty-eight hours were some of the longest of my life.”
He paused. Lily bit her lip, searching for the right words. She reached out and squeezed his hand tightly. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”
“S’nothing,” he mumbled. Lily suddenly brightened. “When I was in that room, I promised myself I would take you out to dinner as a thank you for helping me with everything if I ever got out of there. You free tomorrow at seven?”
James smirked. “Asking me on a date?”
“Haha James, very funny.” But the word ‘date’ seemed to make her heart race a little faster. She wiped her hands on her pants and cleared her throat. “Do you want to make cookies? I need a chocolate fix.”
They drifted onto other conversations, chatting aimlessly about anything that crossed their minds as they baked. Eventually, they had made their way to the couch, facing each other as they talked. Lily hardly noticed the time go by, and even let herself relax. At some point she fell asleep, nodding off when they settled into a comfortable lull. Instead of jumping at every sound her apartment made, she was able to finally get some sleep. When she woke up the next morning, Lily was still on the couch, now covered in a blanket.
XXX
James swung by her apartment at exactly 7 the next evening. The weather had turned colder in Chicago, so she wore a blue sweater over a fitted white shirt, with a pair of black jeans and heels, and let her hair fall in its natural curls.
“Ready for our date?” James teased. He was dressed in dark khakis and a polo, swinging his keys around on his lanyard.
Lily turned and locked her door, punching him lightly. “It’s a thank you dinner. I couldn’t exactly think of a fitting ‘thank you for saving my life’ gift.”
James chuckled and threw a casual arm over her shoulders. She led him down the stairs and started to head for her car, but he laughed and shook his head. “Evans, your bucket of bolts isn’t gonna get us anywhere.”
Lily opened her mouth to argue, but one look at his car parked next to hers made her snap her mouth shut. She punched his shoulder and slid into the passenger seat. “I’m paying though, no matter what you say.”
“So this is a date,” James said, one hand draped over the steering wheel and twisted to face her. Lily grinned. “Only in your dreams, Potter. Don’t think I forget I lived with you for a month. I already know all your bad habits and I don’t want anything to do with them.” He laughed and turned back to the front, starting the car.
Lily pulled out her phone, typing the directions in to a nice sit down French restaurant Marlene had told her about.
XXX
Lily took a sip of wine, set it back on the table, and launched into a question she had hesitated to ask him earlier. She didn’t want to pry, but based on her experiences, she knew talking things out often helped, even if it was painful. “How are you handling Peter’s…?” she started, having no clue how to finish that question.
James took a moment to respond, sitting back in his chair. He shrugged, trying to come off as ok, but she could see he was struggling. “We were best friends - the four of us - although, you know that.” Lily nodded. “Remember how a few months ago we were eating at that Thai place, and I warned you that there was a traitor in the precinct?” Lily nodded again. “I didn’t think it was you of course, but I also didn’t know you that well, and -”
Lily rolled her eyes. He was surprisingly sweet sometimes. “It’s okay James, just say it.”
He nodded, taking her words as reassurance. “I didn’t know you that well, so you were higher on my ‘Who is the Traitor in the Precinct’ list than Peter or Remus or Sirius. I’ve known them forever, although I lived with Sirius after his parents kicked him out.” He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on the soft curls, staring distantly out the window. “Peter was always quieter and had a lot of anxiety. He didn’t like talking about it, so we mostly just let him come to us about it. I guess Riddle somehow got to him and scared him into helping him.” He broke off, letting his eyes flick to Lily and then back down to the table where he was playing with his napkin. “At first I hated him so fucking much. I still do, really. He put you in so much pain, and betrayed all of us... so I can’t forgive him or even feel sorry for him. But at the same time... I understand it in a messed up way.”
Lily reached out with her hand, setting it gently on James’ fidgeting fingers. “Hey,” she said softly. When he didn’t look up, she repeated it. “Hey, don’t think this was your fault, alright? You didn’t do anything wrong.” He shifted so that their fingers were interlocked, and Lily had to force down a smile and remember to breathe calmly. “Are you going to be okay?”
James’ eyes lifted from their joint hands and smiled. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. It’ll just take a bit to get used to it.”
By the time Lily had paid their bill, after numerous protests from James, “I got it, Evans, relax,” “James, I was the one who asked you to dinner, I’m paying,” the restaurant was nearly empty. They walked out the front door and into the cold air. Lily shivered, walking slightly closer to James. To stay warm of course, she told herself. Although she might have had a secret ulterior motive because when James grabbed her hand a few seconds after she bumped into him, she couldn’t stop a blush from spreading across her face. She hoped James just thought it was from the chilly wind that was stinging her cheeks.
They walked down the downtown streets, wandering in and out of any store that grabbed their attention. When they had finally exhausted all of the stores that were still open, they walked back to James’ car. Lily didn’t grab his hand in the car again, leaving her cold fingers in her pocket. She honestly wasn’t sure if she was misreading the signs. The hand holding could have been a friendly, ‘work partners who had survived a violent gang’ sort of hand-holding, right? James had that kind of friendly, casual touching with a lot of people, so why would it be different for her? So, she kept her hands in her pockets and instead made fun of James’ dancing hula girl perched on his Tesla dashboard.
James swung into a parking spot next to her apartment and shifted the car into park. She climbed out, yelled her thanks, promised to return to work eventually, and began walking towards her apartment.
“Lily!” She turned around, surprised to see James closing his car door and running after her. She walked backward towards her door, reaching the stairs, laughing at him. “What? I can walk to my door by myself, you know. Lestrange is in jail.”
“Haha, very funny.” He followed her up the stairs to stand in front of her door. “My mother taught me to always walk a lady to the door after a date.”
Lily turned her head slightly, staring up into James’ eyes. She put one hand on the door handle. He stepped closer to her. “I thought we said this wasn’t a date,” Lily said, barely able to take a steady breath.
He smirked, taking another step, putting him a hairbreadth away from her, close enough to feel his body heat. “Wouldn’t you call this a date, Evans?”
Lily’s breath hitched, and his smirk grew. He knew exactly what he was doing to her, and he was enjoying it. Unable to find an adequate reply, she lifted onto her tiptoes and boldly pressed a kiss to his lips. His response was immediate, and she sighed in relief and contentment and happiness as his arms wrapped around her shoulders and waist, fingers brushing over her back and hair.
It wasn’t long before she pulled away, or maybe hours had passed, Lily had no idea. But her fingers and toes had turned painfully cold, despite James’ body heat. She rested her forehead against his. “Still not a date,” she whispered. She pulled out her keys from her pocket, but let them dangle from her fingers, not willing to leave him yet.
“Good thing I don’t put out on first dates, then.”
That statement was heavy, thick between them. Did Lily want to invite him in?
She wanted to.
But she also had just had the worst year of her life, and while James was a bright spot in it at the moment, and she didn’t want to ruin it by making a rash decision, even if it might be the right one.
“I don’t put out on first ‘not dates’ either,” she said, taking a step back. James looked slightly disappointed but shrugged as if he had been expecting it. “Good call.”
Lily opened her door with one hand and grabbed his hand with her other and pulled him inside. They fell asleep much later, still mostly dressed, cuddled in Lily’s bed.
XXX
To Lily’s relief, the next few months went smoothly despite the circumstances. On top of having to testify in Lestrange and Rosier’s cases, she also had to do it anonymously, which added a whole new layer of challenges. She also returned to work, doing her best to keep up a full workload so that her partner didn’t have to make it up for her, but it was hard managing the courtroom and work. Marlene, Lily’s partner, who had been reassigned to Lily after McGonagall realized that James and Lily were dating, tried to tell her that she didn’t have to, but Lily claimed it gave her less time to think. What little time she did have, she spent with James, who understood her need to work herself into the ground, even if he didn’t like it.
About six months after Lily had returned to work, and seven months after they had returned from California, things had finally settled down for Lily. James convinced Lily to leave all of her cases and files at work for the weekend so that she could finally get some sleep. They had a nice, quiet Friday dinner, and awoke the next morning in James’ flat.
“Morning,” Lily murmured groggily, shifting so that she was facing James. His eyes blinked, adjusting to the light filtering into the room. As he did, a slow smirk slid over his face and he reached out to run a hand over her thigh.
When they emerged from the bedroom, much later, Lily was wearing one of James’ large soccer shirts, and he wore only a pair of shorts, allowing Lily a view at his tanned, muscled chest. He began pulling out ingredients for smoothies, something they had recently discovered was the perfect wake up breakfast. “I’ve been thinking,” he said suddenly.
“Mm?” Lily said, half listening.
“I think you should move.”
Now he had her full attention. “Move?”
“Yeah. Your apartment isn’t in a great location, you hate your neighbors, and you shower exclusively at my place because you either don’t have hot water, or you don’t have water at all.”
Lily shook her head and hopped up onto the counter. “Too expensive. I’m trying to save up right now, pay off my debts, buy a new car. I’m just making do.”
“Well,” James said slowly, pouring a container of fruit into the blender. “What if the apartment I’m thinking of was cheaper than where you live now?”
Lily raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. “You name a place, and I’m there.”
James laughed, running his hands through his messy hair. “You’re already here.”
Lily let out tiny laugh, but when she saw that he wasn’t kidding, sat up straighter. “Wait. wait - you want me to move in with you?”
“Yeah, if you want. This lease is ending next month, and Sirius said he wouldn’t mind finding another place by himself. I’m mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, you just already spend the majority of your time here, and your apartment is crappy, and -” As James rambled on, some of his confidence seemed to disappear, getting more red in the face every second.
Lily pulled James so that he was standing between her legs, putting a finger over his rambling mouth. “James. I would love to move in with you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Lily grinned. “But only because my apartment is crappy.”
James’s confidence returned, and he pressed a lazy kiss to her shoulder. “You love me, Evans.”
Lily poked his side, laughing, but when they had calmed down, she wrapped her legs around his hips, and whispered: “I love you a lot.”
His eyes grew dark. “I love you too, Evans.” He placed a series of kisses from her shoulder up until his lips met hers, where she turned his lazy kisses into more intense, heated ones. James had just picked up Lily, her bare legs still wrapped around him, heading for his room, when Sirius burst through the door.
“Get off of him, Evans!” he yelled, shaking his head. Lily swung down from James, although still pressed close, and threw him the finger. James just laughed, shaking his unruly hair out of his eyes. Then Sirius narrowed his eyes, flicking them between the pair. “Did you ask her?”
Lily grinned, then pulled James down for another kiss. Ever since they had started dating, Sirius was their biggest fan and, at the same time, the most easily disgusted by their constant show of affection. James’ hand had just started to lift up Lily’s shirt -
“Ok, hold it right there. I left you two alone for the night so he could ask you to move in. One more month, that’s all I ask for, then you can have all the sex you want, just - for the love of all things holy - not when I’m around.” Sirius tossed his shoes to the vicinity of the closet, grabbed a bag of chips, and threw himself on the couch.
Lily threw back her head and laughed. She and Sirius had become very close friends ever since she had returned. He helped her get over the grief of losing her family, and James had helped her get over her parents. It still hurt to even think about, but Lily was slowly returning to her former self.
James took the closest pillow and chucked it as Sirius, and within seconds, Sirius had tackled James for spilling his chips. As Lily watched the chaos in front of her, she could feel her heart slowly shift back into place, and she knew that she could finally be happy again.