Chapter Text
My dearest Crowley,
Time certainly does fly here! I suppose, though, they've no use for it. Only serves to confuse me more, I can't even tell when it's night or day! Honestly, this place could use a few clocks, maybe a calendar or two. That isn't the only thing I'd put in here if I were in charge of decoration, far from it, but it's what's on my mind right now. I can't help but wonder how long it's been for you.
This is changing the subject a bit, but I managed to suffer through every book they let me have in my office. It was very nice of them to do so, and I didn't want the gesture to go unappreciated. However, Heaven's taste in literature is...lacking, as you could assume. At least three of them were Bibles, one was a children's Bible, and the other were script books for various plays or musicals which were the least offending thing in there. Two of them were for The Sound of Music however. I'm sure I'll be reading them again, as I've got nothing else to do in my free time, which is getting shorter these days. I think, or else they just feel shorter. Never mind it, I just hope I'll not come back able to recite Scripture.
I know you won't believe me, but there are quite a few pleasant angels to spend time around. Not Gabriel or any higher-ups, but the ones that stay down on Earth mostly. I've sort of fallen in with a group of guardian angels who are off duty for a while. They're really a sweet bunch, can't have been made before humans really started taking off. A couple of them call me "Dad" which I think is humorous. They are almost like younger siblings nowadays, and I can't help but think I'll miss them. But that's nothing to worry about, they'll be back on Earth even before I am I suppose! I know they'll never say it outright, but I can tell they never wanted the world to end either. Spending most of one's time down there seems to have an effect on anyone, it seems. The way they speak of it, of all the different places they've gone and people they've met, the things they've seen...they love it. That's all there is to it, really. Perhaps I'll have to introduce you. I have a feeling you'd get on right away.
I can't believe I forgot to tell you the good news until now! I've been moved to a general janitorial position, which means I won't be standing above complete nothingness all day long! Whatever poor dear got landed with that job now, I'll be keeping them in my thoughts. This is another difficult job, however, since Heaven is incredibly clean just by its nature. I don't know what they expect me to do, but I find enough crumbs and such lying about to keep me busy between breaks. Quite honestly, most of the time I just walk around the halls because there is literally nothing to clean. Now, if I were janitor of Hell, I could see myself being a bit useful. As it is, it's simply boring.
You'll be please to know I've acquired quite the collection of little desk plants. You'll think me silly, but I've named them all and I talk to them sometimes. Having them around reminds me of you. I do miss you, dear. I'd gotten so used to just seeing you around, that it's nearly unbearable now that I can't, I don't know, call you and go out to lunch. Or invite you over the shop for a few drinks. How did we ever stand being apart in those early years? Now, I don't want you getting all worried when you read these, I'm perfectly alright. The tasks they put me to are boring and meaningless, yes. And I miss you a great amount. But I'm perfectly fine, my dear, nothing to worry about. I've got my group of little friends and my gaggle of plants to keep me company while I'm up here. I am completely content.
I can't wait to see you again,
Aziraphale
~*~
Angel,
Hope you don't mind the recent increase in shitty doodles on the letters. I get bored.
Anyways, you'll want actual news about my life and stuff. I've been talking with that Anathema girl more lately. She's pretty cool. You would love her, and go chat about book and drink tea all day. Gag. But she's actually into cool things like the occult and all. And it only took her a few years, but the horseshoe is down! So I've been inside the house now. You would also love the house, it's all cutesy and shit. Double gag. But I go over there sometimes and we hang out and talk about stuff. Her boyfriend, Newt, he's less boring I guess. I think I've just gotten used to him.
Those little kids though, I love them. The parents think I'm Anathema's cousin, and I'm good with the kids, so I hang out with them whenever they come over her place. They're official teenagers and they're so chaotic. The Pepper girl is taking some martial arts classes and all the boys always ask to fight her and she always kicks their asses. My personal opinion is that they think the martial arts thing is cool. They try to get me to fight her, but I wouldn't. You know me, I'd snap the poor girl in half. Wensleydale is in the student government, so they all like to bully poor Adam a little, say that he isn't the leader of the group anymore and that it's got to be Wensley. Adam doesn't mind, he's a good sport. They did have a wrestling match for leadership of the gang, but it turned into a wrestling contest between everyone and Pepper won. Not a lot else is going on with them, though. They like to ask about you sometimes, they're under the impression that you are a lot cooler than you actually are. Apparently you showed off a bit by owning a flaming sword. Now I have to set the record straight for these kids. I can't believe you Aziraphale. Absolutely horrid, lying to kids and putting them under the impression that you aren't the least cool being on this planet.
The bookshop is going. I mean, there's no actual business happening so I don't know what you expect. Some Karen came in the other day and made a big fuss over a certain book costing about €72. I told her, I said this is a very old book and it's actually signed by the author, so it's very valuable and that's why it's expensive. Reasonable, right? No, this woman was all "it's just A Christmas Carol, they have it over at Barnes and Noble for way cheaper, I've no idea how economics works". And so I tell her to sod off and go to the other damn bookstore and stop making a fuss over a reasonable price (which is a surprise coming from you) and she said we won't get her business ever again. So I think I'm doing well. There's a few people who come in to study or just poke around and I let them. Loitering and all. Very evil activity.
I also hope you don't mind that I've moved a few plants over to the shop. It's a lot easier that way, to just have them here instead of going back and forth all day long just for a few minutes to water them. An added bonus is that my yelling at them scares people off. Should've brought them here earlier, honestly. If you're wondering, they're doing alright. A couple of them are falling short, and if they don't get their act together then it's down the garbage chute they go.
Get back here,
Crowley