Chapter Text
He watched her walk away, her words still ringing in his ears.
“…In service of your arrogance and your ego…” *
She’d been mad at him before. Lots of times, so her frosty, impassive glare wasn’t anything new but that disappointing glint.
That hadn’t been present until recently and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.
On the one hand, he was warmed that she cared enough to be disappointed but on the other hand, it was gut-wrenching to know she was disappointed in him. That she had expected more from him and he’d let her down.
That was feeling he wasn’t used to and one he’d like to never have again.
…His arrogance and his ego.
That’s what she’d told him. He’d gotten in trouble because of those two things before but he usually had the ability to brush them off.
Not with Ava though. She actually made him stop and think about his behavior. Made him want to make a change, to be better, but not only because he wanted to please her but because she genuinely made him want to be a better person.
For his patients, his friends, himself…and her.
Connor felt like bashing his head on the nearest wall. What had he been thinking?
He never should have thrown her out and he never should have opened that stupid OR in the first place.
Ava was right. That had been incredibly stupid. And he’d kicked her out when he probably needed her the most.
What if it hadn’t gone as well as it had? He’d have someone’s death on his conscious and he’d be facing an ethics board on why he’d decided to open a clearly not ready operating room.
Ava had been looking out for him and all he’d done was rudely kick her out and act like an inconsiderate idiot towards her.
She was becoming his conscience and that was something he’d never experienced before.
He scoffed humorlessly.
Ava Bekker, a cold-hearted thorn in his side when he first met her was becoming his conscience. How ironic.
And he was afraid to admit it, but she was becoming much more than that.
Had become much more than that.
And he’d treated her so thoughtlessly, even with his ‘apology’. Had he seriously offered to buy her a drink after he told her he was sorry for throwing her out?
She’d made it clear that wasn’t what she angry about and she was right. She usually was, he was finding out.
Connor checked his watch; she was probably heading out the door by now. He’d have to make it right tomorrow.
He lowered his hand before cursing to himself when he remembered she wouldn’t be at work tomorrow or the next day. There was a conference going on at the University of Chicago and she was slated to be there to represent the hospital and to speak at some of the events that were going on.
He‘d be going too if it wasn’t for his hybrid OR but he had lots of paperwork and protocols to run before it opened, which reminded him once again of how idiotic it was to open the room before that could happen.
He could text or run by her place, if he knew where she lived that is, but his stupid ego wouldn’t let him.
Sighing, Connor headed towards the ED. Well, the least he could do was to apologize to Maggie. She hadn’t deserved his snapping when she was also trying to keep him from doing something stupid.
Guilt settled in his stomach. His arrogance had probably caused more damage to others than he’d realized.
Ava being one of those people.