Chapter Text
It's so slow.
Waking up, getting ready, starting the car.
It's like his mind is clouded, everything is dull, distant.
Jimin is feeling disconnected, like he is not there. And rationally he knows he should gain control over himself, but it's been so long since he started to worry, that is soul is weak. Too weak and tired to be strong, to be able to hear what the doctor wants to tell them, and hope everything is going to be okay.
"Jimin".
Yoongi is calling him, sitting next to him in the doctor's office, waiting with him. Jimin looks up at him and he can see his pale cheeks, his tense lips.
Jimin blinks, trying to focus on him through the fog, fighting to keep his eyes open.
"Are you with me?", he asks.
Jimin wants to nod, to lessen his worry. He can't, not really, his muscles are working against him, refusing to follow his lazy mind.
Yoongi waits for an answer that doesn't come, he reaches for Jimin's hand and engulfs it in his own. Trying to pull him out of where he has gone, to save him from drowing.
He is talking to him, Jimin can faintly hear his voices but it sounds distorted, quiet, like he is underwater.
"Yoon, what if- what are we gonna-", the words come out uncontrollably, and he is aware that maybe he is shaking, his voice breaking threatened by tears.
Jimin is sitting in the doctor's office chair, on the verge of a mental breakdown, when Yoongi pulls him in a hug, tight against his shoulders, strong.
"We are going to do what we always did", he chants while pressing his lips on his forehead, on his cheekbones, "we fight together".
~~
Jimin can't really tell how long has passed. Rationally it could be just a couple of minutes when the doctors comes in surprising them, but everything still feels stretched, elongated by his fears.
They greet each other, Yoongi taking care of all the conventional stuff, and Jimin is even more grateful that he is here, helping him where he is lacking.
He tightens his fists, his knuckles turn white, when the doctor takes out their medical files. Yoongi must notice, he always does, when he reaches out to him and breakes his fist.
When the older man in front of them speaks again, Jimin feels like the world is finally off his shoulders.
"The fetus, ultimately, does not suffer from any DNA defects", the doctor tells them, a smile growing on him, "Congratulations".
Jimin's heart starts beating fast, so fast, like life wants to burst our of him. He looks at Yoongi, who is smiling beside him, that smile of relief and joy that Jimin is sure is on himself as well.
He wants to get up and hug the doctor, and kiss Yoongi, and call his kids to tell them. Hs feels like running and dancing and singing.
Jimin feels like living again, finally. Instantaneously, his hands rach his own belly, holding the baby within it.
"My baby is okay", he mumbles, and it must look somewhat odd to the doctor, but he needs to say it out loud, to make it real.
"My baby is okay", he says louder, and he can see Yoongi chuckle beside him, shoulder shaking with silent laughter.
They definitely look like a crazy couple of people.
But the doctor is smiling in front of them, and Jimin realizes that it's okay. It's okay to be happy again.
"One more thing", the doctor tells them, "would you like to know the gender on the baby?"
Yoongi and Jimin look at each other, knowingly.
~~
When they arrive back home, their children are waiting for them on the couch.
On their young pale faces, there's was that familiar worry that haunted them for more than two months, so brutal on them.
When Jimin steps inside, he wastes no time to tell them the news. No more time should be wasted on being sad and scared.
"The baby is fine", he tells, not even bothering to take his shoes off.
"What?", Haneul is the first one to react, standing up and coming closer, face beaming with light.
"She's fine", Yoongi confirms, stepping in the room.
"She?", Yeoreum joins them fast.
Jimin and Yoongi nod, waiting for the boys' reactions, endeared by the small "o" forming on the boys' lips.
It lasts a second and then Jimin is engulfed in a hug by his two sons.
He huffs playfully, but they only hold him tighter. Jimin runs his hand through Haneul's hair and one on Yeoreum's back, enjoying his children's closeness, reassuring them, giving them all the care he always provided them.
Yoongi is looking at them fondly, and shares a light smile with Jimin.
Jimin smiles back.
~~
Yoongi feels liberated.
When he looks at Jimin now, watching how his back slowly curves under the weight of their daughter, the big round bump visible through his shirts, he feels like he is the luckiest man alive.
Everytime he looks at him, Yoongi has the feeling that he should thank someone for all the happiness that has come into his life. He often looks at the sky, wondering how many possibilities were there for him to meet Jimin, to fall in love with him, to get to live with him such a beautiful life.
He gets overwhelmed easily these days, maybe it's because it's a very particular period, and everything feels like too much. Maybe it's just the sight of Jimin's belly that reminds him all the time of how much he has already, and how much will come still.
"I love you", he tells Jimin often, sometimes too much, and out of nowhere.
Jimin laughs it off, he asks him if everything is okay, if he has gone crazy yet. But there's that sparkle in his eyes that tells Yoongi that he enjoys his cheesiness. Also, Jimin always says I love you back.
Rationally, they are in that lovey-dovey phase every couple has after discovering they're expecting a child. Those few days in which they cannot get separated, days full of giggles and kisses, and dreams.
They didn't get to have those moments at first, because of their worries and fears, so they are getting back at it now, even though Jimin is six months pregnant already.
They go out to shop, hands linked, and coo at tiny outfits, and fluffy toys.
They buy more than they need, but they're just so excited that they cannot stop themselves.
"It's our first girl", Jimin defends himself when bringing home the big bag of clothes for the baby, put on the spot by the inquisitive eyes of Haneul and Yeoreum.
"What's that supposed to mean?", Haneul asks, indignated, looking at his big brother for answers.
Yeoreum tries hard to fight his laughter, "I think somebody is going to take your place of the favourite kid", the older boy smirks.
"I'm the favourite? Look who's talking", Haneul snaps at his brother, and Yoongi knows he has to stop this before it all escalates into a fight.
"Hey, hey", he tries to overpower their bickering, "there are no favourites in this house"
Yoongi means it, he loves all of his children so much. Even when they fight among each other, or when they misbehave.
Again, he feels lucky.
Haneul and Yeoreum both roll their eyes at him, with the elegance that only Jimin could have taught them, and he knows they were not serious and just messing around a little. Still, he wants to make himself clear now and always.
"I think I have a favourite sibling, though", Yeoreum ignores Yoongi, and keeps on riling Haneul up, "The one who doesn't enter my room without knocking first".
"I just wanted to take my socks", Haneul screams back.
Yoongi decides to leave them at it, maybe fighting is another way of bonding, after all.
~~
Life seems to get hectic again, with Yoongi busy at work, and their children out and about enjoying summer.
Jimin deems himself very lucky of being a university professor, since he gets to stay home most of the summer, working mostly from his computer now that classes are over.
He rests more, and it's probably the heat, or maybe his age, or the fact that his belly is getting huge, but he thinks he needs it a lot.
Plus, he's finally able to enjoy being pregnant, without worrying about the what ifs.
And it's nice, so nice, when Jimin takes his time to massage his belly with baby oil, when he searches on his phone stupid baby hacks, that somehow make his baby feel more real, or when he tells his daughter stories and memories of him during those few times he is all alone.
During these moments, Jimin realizes, he missed being pregnant, taking care of his children in the most intimate way possible.
"Hi there, little one", he greets her when she kicks him, and even though it hurts a little bit, Jimin endures it, supporting the weight of his baby with his hands, pacing slowly around the living room, "you're so restless tonight".
He cringes when another kick comes, stronger than the one before it.
It's kind of getting late, and he wants to sleep. He really hopes that a nice walk could soothe his baby girl. He doesn't seem to be so lucky, though.
Haneul and Yoongi are watching the TV on the couch in front of him, as he walks, and Jimin instantly hears their shared chuckle.
"What's funny?", he asks his family, still walking as he feels yet another kick.
"Nothing, just the tv", Haneul says fast, way too fast to be true.
Jimin ignores him in favour of another kick that actually makes him wince this time, letting out a quite "ouch".
And he hears it again, the chuckle.
Surely it's not a coincidence.
"Do you think that me being in pain is a joke?", Jimin scolds Haneul, and his husband equally. Sometimes he feels like he has three kids instead of two. Well, now four instead of three.
The two of them look between each other and giggle some more, shamelessly, which earns them another frown from Jimin.
"You shouldn't be laughing Haneul", Jimin resonates, "You would kick all the day and you were really heavy, too. She's been easy on me compared to you".
Haneul stops laughing immediately, "Me? Heavy?", a look of concern and surprise on his face.
"Chubbiest baby I'd ever seen", Yoongi agrees, "you didn't fit in most of the stuff we bought you, and we thought you'd never be able to raise your head by your self".
"Turns out you're were just lazy", Jimin retorts, "just like your dad".
"What did I do?", Yoongi is taken by surprise by Jimin's sudden teasing.
"You were laughing at me with him", Jimin recalls, folding his arms in front of him, "you had it coming".
"You're so sensitive"
"You're so whiney"
"Thank you"
Haneul interrupts them suddnley, thin voice breaking through their bickering. Jimin can see that the boy is in deep thought right now. He looks at Yoongi for a moment, and his husband is equally interested in what is going on in their younger son's head.
Jimin decides to stop his endless and also useless pacing to seat next to his boy and listen to him. He lowers down slowly, huffing a little under the awkward weight on his middle. Luckly, Yoongi is helping him really fast, easing some of the strain on his back.
Haneul looks at him even more preoccupied.
"Why are you thanking me?", Jimin asks once he is finally sat down, looking up at Yoongi to thank him silently, at which his husband just shakes his head.
The boy is squimish in his seat, looking between his dad and his huge belly, "it's not easy, right? Having a baby, I mean", the boy makes himself look smaller, curling up on himself, "It's scary".
Jimin is surprised by how true this words feel on his son's lips, and by instinct his hands fly on top of his belly.
"It's a little scary, yes", Jimin finds Yoongi's eyes, sharing a knowing look with him, silent agreement after years and years and two, almost three children together, "And it's hard and tiring. It's painful even, sometimes", Jimin tells his child honestly.
"Then why do you do it?", Haneul asks him and Jimin fights back a giggle.
"Because you are my life", Jimin tells him, simply, " and I wouldn't feel any real pain as long as you are safe and sound"
Yoongi slides closer to him, and Jimin can feel his knuckles brushed by his husbands' fingers. Haneul keeps looking at him, with that cute, slightly confused expression he always has. His baby girl is still kicking within him.
And Jimin is at peace, like he has not been for a very long time.