Chapter Text
To the bravest boy I know,
How are you Innie? I wonder how old are you now? Is Papa still stubborn? Are you as stubborn?
Oh, I miss you, my brave boy.
“Wow.” Jeongin’s friend, Eunjung, said again, for maybe the tenth time since he finished. He noticed with a grin the light in his friend’s smile when they concluded the story a few minutes ago.
“I mean like wow Innie!” the other gushed, fists clenched in excitement “I always thought that people who don’t believe in soulmates will not be able to give their soulmarks to their destined one! -- but your Papa still doesn’t believe right?” at this Jeongin nods, amused at the spew of words coming at him “so like then maybe that isn’t it! Maybe soulmarks are really nothing but tattoos on the skin! –“
Jeongin was about to protest –was she really listening?- when Eunjung continued, arms flying everywhere “because- because even with it people are allowed to do what they so wish! They have free will to do so! But then it would mean everything really is intertwined in the grand scheme of things! Because destiny or fate or whatever will put you where you truly belong! Where you were meant to be! Like –like what your Mama means with her belief, soulmates are people you feel the most you! Like – like whether you’ll be more than platonic will solely be up to you!”
The bubbly blabbing girl grabbed his both his arm this time, shaking him with vigor “That means whether or not you meet your soulmate isn’t the point of this whole soulmark soulmate thing! It just means that somewhere out there someone will inherently understand you because your souls are more connected than others but it doesn’t mean they would be the only ones! Because others could try! Because they are right! All of them! Bonds are made they aren’t magically formed!”
Jeongin stared at her in wonder, taking in her dimpled wide smile and bright excited eyes “I thought you didn’t believe in soulmates? But why do you sound like-“
As his voice trailed off, he watched curiously as she took her hands away from him as though burnt and flushed, eyes widening and before Jeongin could comprehend her reaction a loud bang startled his thoughts.
“Innie I’m hungry! Let’s go!” Jungkook announces, loudly entering their small living room where Jeongin and Eunjung was lounging on the floor.
Seeing the blushing girl scrambling to stand up and greet him, Jungkook stopped and stared at Jeongin slowly raising an eyebrow at him which simply earned him an unimpressed look from Jeongin that probably came from his father’s genes.
“Eunjung” Jeongin coughed, meaningfully staring at Jungkook to not say anything remotely embarrassing “this is my brother, Jungkook.”
Jungkook laughed good-naturedly when Jeongin sighed tiredly, continuing reluctantly “Hyung, this is Eunjung, a friend from school.”
The older hid a snicker when the girl stammered in her words after he teased “Friends huh?” Too focused on watching the girl try to deny it with how much she was blushing he didn’t notice the swift kick to his shin.
“Ah! Innie that was mean!”
“And you’re an idiot.” Jungkook eyed his huffing brother –who was now guiding Eunjung out- with a small amused smile. Really, for someone who can easily understand people’s emotions, Jeongin’s blissfully unaware of his own.
“Why did you let her go home alone?”
“Because she insisted she was meeting a friend at the café next door and she was obviously uncomfortable.” Jeongin grumbled gathering his things “Why do you always lack tact hyung?”
Jungkook grinned widely –so he wasn’t unaware after all “And why, my dearest Innie are you still so stubborn?”
“Shut up hyung.”
The blush said it all.
Ah youth.
Do you know why you're our brave boy? It's because when I was pregnant with you, they told me it'll be difficult, life-threatening even. But Mama's lucky, because you were so brave. You fought with me; you were so good to me. Papa even said you were trying to prove them wrong by not making it hard for me. And I remember your every movement in my tummy just like how Papa always press his ears on them to feel you move.
Jeongin quietly lends Jungkook his shoulder as his brother leaned down unconsciously while napping. They were on the bus on their way to their parents’ home to have dinner.
He adjusted his brother’s head, before looking back out at the window where the sun was setting.
The sky was tainted pink with hues of yellows and oranges. It was the same color when he first met Jungkook.
He was eight and Jungkook was nine.
It was only him and his Appa (then Uncle Hobi) who were able to visit for the dinner Jungkook’s guardians had apparently invited the later.
“Uncle Hobi, would Jungkook-hyung enjoy these cookies?” Jeongin asked, clutching the straps of his bag that were carrying the said cookies. He had asked for his Papa’s assistance after he had learned everything about Jungkook from Hoseok. And in a whim, he had decided that cookies would be a best way to make friends with a shy boy.
Why, he doesn’t really know. But his Papa was supportive of his idea and made him promise to tell what the other’s reaction would be because he couldn’t go with them to meet Jungkook.
Uncle Hobi brushed the top of his head gently and nodded enthusiastically “I’m sure he will. You made them after all.”
At the reassurance Jeongin smiled down at his gift “I really hope so.”
Jungkook, he later earned was far more shy than he had expected. Hiding behind a perpetually smiling older boy, Taehyung, and wouldn’t meet his eyes, preferring to look down.
With a quick glance at the soft look on Uncle Hobi’s face as he tried to coax Jungkook to greet him, Jeongin squared his shoulders and took a brave step forward.
“I’m Jeongin and I made these cookies for you, hyung!”
Jeongin huffed a laugh at remembering Jungkook’s trembling eyes meeting his and the small smile his now brother had given him.
“Don’t go smiling on your own Innie” Jeongin turned to the now sitting upright and yawning Jungkook “People might talk.”
Jeongin rolled his eyes at the teasing smile on the other’s face and silently side-eyed him when his face softens too into a content smile.
He sometimes wonders at what extent had some higher power did to put them where they are now but he then again finds himself shaking his head because his conclusion would always be the same.
As brothers, as family.
Hoseok moved in with them after a few months of dating his Papa and he had been ecstatic and over the moon about it.
Then his Papa had gone with them on their third visit at the institute to meet Jungkook-hyung.
When the two finally met, they just spent the first few minutes staring at each other and later they, him and Uncle Hobi, would be giggling at the sight of his Papa napping on the sofa with Jungkook-hyung asleep on the floor clutching his Papa’s fingers.
Later that year, there were changes. He might have been young then but he was aware of the serious talks his Papa and Uncle Hobi had after they all had spent some quality time with Jungkook.
He doesn’t remember much but he remembers feeling the tight fist on his back and the wobbly smile on his neck when he happily welcomed Jungkook to their home by the start of the next year.
You are our heartbeat he said and I agree. You are our best music too. When you were born, did you know Papa cried first? You can tease him for that. He cried before I could and I was the one who went into labor, I can't believe he took that moment from me. But from then on, we knew we could take anything the world throws at us because we have you.
"Hi Mama!" Jeongin greeted the framed picture of Jihyo beaming. His Papa said that it was one of the first pictures they had after they had first met.
As he moved further inside his childhood home, he saw the album he had gifted his parents’ on their wedding, opened on the coffee table. The album was filled with pictures mostly by Seungmin-hyung and Minho-hyung. But Uncle Chan and Uncle Jin were also contributors. Seeing it there, Jeongin shook his head fondly, those old bunch likes to reminisce too much as if they don’t have a lifetime to be grossly in love.
"You two-" he caught his father’s exasperated tone as soon as he entered the kitchen "What's the point of living on campus if you come home for dinner every other week?"
"Aw mean,” Jungkook whined, sneaking a smirk at him to which he just scoffed amusedly “can't you just say you're happy to see us?"
Jeongin settled down beside the already munching on cookies Jungkook and smiled at the other older man rolling his eyes behind Yoongi who was still not done with his petulant whining "How can I be happy if you keep on raiding our groceries?"
"But we're your little spawns!” Jungkook exclaimed and he nodded sagely in agreement reaching for his own piece “How is this a problem?"
Hoseok laughed good-naturedly when Yoongi glared at them and quipped "Because Yoongi will miss you guys tenfolds after you leave- uh ow?"
Jeongin burst out laughing at seeing Yoongi’s incessant denials and continual small kicks at the taller man’s shin.
The other’s soon followed at his peals of laughter.
I'm sorry Mama couldn't stay. I wish I could. I wish for so much, it's almost selfish. I hoped for more and more time to live so that I could see you grow and laugh with you and love you with every breath I had left. I prayed to stay longer so that you may at least remember me.
“Ah my friend doesn't believe in soulmates too, so I told her about how you guys met." Jeongin shared when the opportunity presented itself. He quickly shoved a chopstickful of kimchi in Jungkook’s mouth as soon as he caught it opening.
Hoseok looked amused at their display before teasing "Do you mean how you made us meet?"
They all chuckled at the way Yoongi groaned.
"Innie!” Jungkook had forgotten their staring contest and loudly asked “What if you're actually fate?"
"Maybe if Innie was fate, this little one wouldn't be so stubborn about it." Hoseok nudged Yoongi teasingly.
"Not gonna change my thoughts on how fate should just fuck off or something." Yoongi swatted Hoseok’s hand that was patting his hair before he halted "I mean, not you Innie, just the destiny- soulmate ugh whatever."
Jeongin curiously watched as his Appa propped an elbow on the table and settled his chin on his palm while smiling sweetly at his Papa "Are you still saying it's a choice?"
"Yeah” Yoongi paused, looking meaningfully at his soulmate’s eyes “I chose you right?" Jeongin snickered when he saw Hoseok blushing brightly and Jungkook coughing out his water. When he met his Papa’s eyes, Jeongin returned the teasing grin.
He vaguely remembers a time when he was boy and he wondered if his Papa had ever just met someone’s gaze and had looked so happy.
He knows now too, that his Papa was never shy with his affections.
"You guys are so cute-" he cooed but Jungkook cut him off with a loud cough "It's disgusting."
Jeongin raised his eyebrow at this. “As if you and Taehyungie-hyung aren’t the same.” Noticing the blush on his brother’s cheeks he relentlessly teased, raising his voice higher as though to imitate Jungkook’s pitched voice when excited “’I swear I heard bells when I met Taehyung and now I have his mark!’”
It was just last year after they had watched an animated movie about soulmates that apparently was Jungkook’s favorite simply because Taehyung had watched it repeatedly when they first met. Taehyung was in no one’s surprise, his brother’s soulmate and honestly lifetime boyfriend. Because when he turned twenty, Jungkook got his soulmark at the same time.
“S-shut up Innie!”
Life will be hard at first, you’ll feel so many things that you don’t understand, but Papa will be there for you. He’ll help you see just how special you are. And maybe, I’m not yet sure, maybe you’re already aware of the things most people won’t notice. Because you’re so brave. You bring us so much happiness it lift our hearts from burden. We were able to pull through whatever because of the ever present smile on your lips.
As Jeongin finished making plans with Lixie-hyung and Minnie-hyung, he saw Suga –yes he still has the stuffed toy with him in his bed- and the tear on his ears opening slightly. Clicking his tongue, he reached over to his bag to get a small sewing kit.
That small tear was a reminder of how much he was loved.
"Hi brave boy." He didn’t move even when he heard his Papa sigh and sat down beside him. "Do you have something you want to share with me?"
"Mm."
Yoongi gathered him and pinched his cheeks "Don't tell me you're okay when this cute sad pout is on your chubby face." Jeongin stayed silent but flinched when his father hit the nail "Is it because of Jungkook?"
They shared silence until Yoongi wondered out loud "You don't like him?"
"No! I do!” he protested loudly “Gguk-hyung is great!"
"Then you don't like him to be your older brother?"
"That's not it." Deflating, Jeongin stared at his fingers picking at the loose threads on Suga’s ears.
His Papa shot him a confused but relieved look before patiently asking "Then what is it?"
In a small voice he revealed "When Gguk-hyung comes home here, then I won't be your brave boy anymore."
"Why is that?" Yoongi took his chin to make him look at him.
"Because Gguk-hyung is great at everything.” He sniffed, tearing up a little “And he isn't scared of anything too. Unlike me."
"Oh my baby boy." Yoongi smiled fondly; brushing his tears away "You know you’ll only be my brave boy."
At Jeongin’s small sound of denial, his father pinched his cheeks and nosed his temple "Because you’re the best gift Mama and I got to keep. And you're the one that made us a mama and a papa." looking directly at him his Papa said "In my eyes, Jeonginnie, you will always be our brave boy."
Smiling approvingly at his work, he cleaned up and returned the things to where they belong. Just as he was moving to lie down, his Papa peeked from behind his door.
The moments I spent being by you two are treasures I keep in my heart. And I have a lot of those. Like that one time you wouldn't stop crying and you only did when Papa sang to you or the times you subconsciously knew we won’t say no to your puppy eyes and little pout. There so much more I want to tell you, but Papa will do it on my behalf, and for me that’s more than enough.
So smile my love and live the life that makes you the happiest.
"Hey, Jeongin" was his father’s greeting, hands inside his pajama pockets.
"Ah Papa! What's up?"
Seeing the older man swallow, he furrowed his eyebrows, before he could ask about it however his father’s right hand moved to reveal a white envelope "I just thought I'd give you this now."
"What is it?" he asked, reaching for it as Yoongi sat down near him.
"It's Mama's letter for you."
"Oh?” he traced the lettering at the back, genuinely asking “Why only now?"
"To be honest? I couldn’t find it."
"Silly Papa." Jeongin murmured because the easy shrug and averting gaze were signs that his father was lying. He probably wasn’t ready to read another letter from his mother.
He learned from Hoseok that his Papa cried when he made him read his Mama’s letter to him.
Smiling brightly, he offered "Would you like to read it with me?"
"What? But-" his father sputtered but didn’t look the slightest against the idea.
"I'm sure Mama wouldn't mind."
I know you’re reading this too, my beloved. Don't forget to miss me! Of course you too Innie! Love you both!
With all my love,
Mama
“W-wait!” Hoseok shrieks, slapping a hand against Yoongi’s mouth just as it was about to deliver the kiss. “This doesn’t feel right. We’re at the ceme-“
Yoongi removed the hand with a huff “You’re so proper.”
“B-but-!”
“Fine, later then. But you owe me two weeks’ worth of it.”
“T-two weeks? Why two?”
Yoongi impishly grins at Hoseok’s bright face “Because I can.”
As his last bits of amusement at Hoseok’s expression fades, he fondly took his hands and traced his features bathed by the sunlight.
When Hoseok alarmingly becomes redder and redder at his tender stare, in his mind he thinks yet again of what the future may hold, of how years down the road they’ll marry, Hoseok will get his degree and reach his dreams, Jeongin will grow up as lovely as Jihyo was, maybe another child and a pet too and how he’ll be content with the small family he had. The friends he had made and kept and the relationships he will nurture every day. And with that he smiles at his reflection in Hoseok’s eyes “This is my soulmate Jihyo. I’m the happiest when I’m with him.”
P.S. Have you been the happiest these days? I hope you are. Thank you for always doing your best.