Chapter Text
“Hold on, Lev!” Yaku cried out. “What on earth is going on?” Are you really not in that club? There’s no “Miyuki” there, either? Who is she then, and why did you make all of that up? A million underlying questions that had circled his dubious brain suddenly surfaced all at once, and Yaku almost felt dizzy. He instinctively yanked at Lev’s shirt to keep him from bolting.
“Wait, y-Yaku-san, uh, I can explain –”
“—Okay, then what’s going on?” Yaku looked up, up at Lev dead in the eyes. “C’mon, 'fess up. Where did this ‘Miyuki-senpai’ come from, why aren’t you actually in Japanese Literature Club, and why did you lie about all of this? Out with it!”
Lev’s eyes roamed the entire hallway – everywhere but Yaku’s face. Yaku could see the big beanstalk’s brain trying to reassemble itself into some semblance of reason. “I… Yaku-san…” He shook his head and blinked furiously, those blue blue eyes regaining some clarity. “Y-Yaku-san, what were you doing in front of the club room, anyway? Where are Kuroo-san and Kenma-san?”
Suddenly Yaku was the one being floored. He grimaced and his mind went blank. “Look…” He sighed. “Out with it” was right. He had to be honest. There was no use trying to spin some half-assed lie at this point, was there? “I was checking out the clubroom because… I was really curious as to who this… ‘Miyuki-san’ was.” His eyes were drilling holes into the floor. Even without looking at him, Yaku could sense Lev tensing.
“Why?”
Yaku tried to avoid imagining Lev’s crystalline eyes, neat little brows knit. “Because…” He mustered the courage to face Lev again. “I’d never heard of a ‘Miyuki’ in my year, and I thought it was really weird… and I…” His hands clenched into fists of their own will. Maybe they just knew that was the only way to stop them from shaking. “And I guess now I know why I’ve never heard of her.” His gaze turned stern. Before he confessed, he had to figure out why Lev was lying to him. Did he have not an ounce of faith in him? He wasn’t some blabbermouth like some bratty elementary-schooler. Heck, if anything, Lev himself was more at risk of exposing himself! If he so clearly liked somebody, couldn't he just tell his upperclassman directly?
Lev wilted. His usually sharp eyes seemed cast downward. His face was splotchy, as though his cheeks couldn't decide whether to blush in shame or turn ghostly-white from fear. “Um…”
“Look, I don’t get why you were making up this random person, and this whole… situation, really… I’m going to assume you really didn’t want me to know about whoever it really was that you were obsessed with. Assuming that in itself wasn't a lie either. And…”
Lev was biting his lip.
Yaku sighed. His chest ached as he stared at his teammate. He couldn’t bear to be angry, as hurt as he felt. “I get it, okay? That’s fine. I’m not one to pry like crazy. If you’d just wanted my help with it, but wanted to keep the person’s identity a secret, you could’ve just told me, and that would’ve been the end of it. Honest.” His fists came undone and he put his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t bear to continue without looking away, down at Lev’s feet. “Whoever she is… I hope you –”
“—He.”
Yaku froze. Had he heard him right? “What?” His face suddenly flushed, his thoughts racing ahead of his common sense.
When he dared to glance up at Lev’s face, he saw a reflection of his own blooming cheeks. Pursed lips, darting brows not sure which side of embarrassment and confusion to turn to. “Whoever… he is, Yaku-san.”
Okay… So it’s a guy. Alarms suddenly blared in Yaku’s head. He didn’t know how to react, what to say, how to reassure Lev that he wasn’t a homophobe, that it was totally cool, more than cool, really, but who was it, was it –?
“It’s you, Yaku-san.”
Yaku’s body malfunctioned for a moment, like a glitchy Internet browser. His eyes blinked, and he felt an overwhelming heat rushing up to his face. He nearly broke into a smile before his sensible self kicked in and took charge. How could he even believe Lev, though? The mischievous goof he was? What if he was just making it up again, and this time turning it into some sort of weird joke? Yaku couldn’t expose himself and take it seriously.
He put on the bravest face he could muster and glared at him. “Okay, I don’t need any more lying, Lev.” He struggled to avoid stammering as his mouth stumbled on. “I get it. You don’t want to say the person’s name. Like I said, that’s cool. Just… no more lies, and no more jokes. Okay?”
Before Lev could stutter out another word, Yaku turned away. He bolted.
<<<3>>>
Ping! The sound echoed through the bedroom. Yaku lifted his head to peer at his phone screen. Of course.
Haiba Lev 3:50PM:
yaku-san????
yaku-san, plsz???
i sweat pleasw
Yaku turned his phone to silent. The buzzing stopped, and his mind continued to erupt. The whole scene replayed in his head, and he winced at his harshness, the insensitivity to Lev’s vulnerable courage to come out to him. How could he have failed to acknowledge that? How could he have just walked away without a single moment to acknowledge the fact that Lev had so bravely told him something so personal, so meaningful, and just… abandoned him?
Yaku suddenly turned cold. What if Lev thought he was homophobic? He hadn’t even gotten to confessing himself, and instead had just grilled Lev to the point where he must’ve decided to come up with a little joke out of pure panic! Yaku’s insides twisted and turned unpleasantly. He felt sick. What had he done?
Grabbing his phone, he glanced through the rest of the notifications.
Haiba Lev 3:51PM:
yakusna i reallt messed up in sorry
i didnr mean to
i kno i shouldny have lued to yoi
shouldvr just told u the truht
pleade just let mr talk to u
yakusan????
:”(
Yaku’s heart nearly broke at the sad face on his screen.
Yaku Morisuke 4:00PM:
ok, Lev
can we meet up somewhere and talk?
Haiba Lev 4:00PM:
yakUSAN
YEE OF XOURSE :”((
PLS
Yaku grabbed his coat.
<<<3>>>
Lev stood against a cherry blossom tree in the park, his soft hair blowing softly in the chill wind. He was staring up at the branches around him as though monitoring their progress in shaking off the winter cold and starting to bud. Yaku paused before stepping any closer, tried to read him. Lev’s feet were restless, kicking back and forth against the tree roots, and his arms were stuffed into his pockets, but his shoulders shrugging up and down like a strange jittery dance. The picture of restlessness. Yaku almost smiled before remembering why he was here to talk to him.
“Oi, Lev!”
The first-year’s head turned like a whip, and his face splintered into an unreadable expression, a mix of… horror? Yet relief? “Yaku-san!” His voice nearly broke as he ran towards him.
“Hey, listen…”
“Yaku-san, I’m sorry I lied!” Lev blurted, feet scrambling to a halt.
“Look, that’s…” Yaku winced. It’s not really okay if he just made a joke at your expense about who it was he really liked. “The whole ‘Miyuki-senpai’ thing… Like I said, that was fine. I’m…” He scowled at himself. “I’m really sorry that I didn’t say anything when you… when you came out to me.” He looked at Lev in the eyes. They shone back at him, worried. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been… that must have taken a whole lot for you to tell me, and all I was concerned with…” He could hardly breathe. “All I… was worried about was myself. You said it was me, and I just…”
“I shouldn’t have said that,” Lev sputtered, face turning a deep red. “I…”
“Yeah, I know,” Yaku sighed. “You were just… kidding or whatever. Trying to lighten the mood, or something –”
“—Wait, what?” Lev interjected. His voice rang with pure confusion. He leaned down to look at Yaku’s face. Their faces mirrored the same expression of confusion.
“You… were just joking to get out of the awkward situation or something, weren’t you?” Yaku stared at him, his heart pounding. Lev couldn’t have… been serious, right? Yaku resisted the urge to let down his guard, to let his heart leap.
Lev’s brows knitted themselves into a whole hat. “No, I wasn’t!” He sounded hurt. “Why would I joke about that, Yaku-san? That’s just mean!”
Yaku gave him a pointed look. “You lied about Miyuki-san, just like that.”
“Oh. Right. But, Yaku-san, that was because –” Lev broke off, and his eyes scurried the ground, not sure where to land. They finally settled down, at Yaku’s sneakers. “That was ‘cause I… didn’t… want you to know that… it was you.”
Yaku frowned. “Wait… So you really weren’t joking?”
“I wasn’t!” Lev urged, his voice pleading, “I really like you, Yaku-san!” The words blurted out of his mouth. “I was scared to… be honest and say it was you. I just made up some random person so I could… ask for advice on how to actually deal with how I felt… about you. But then I confessed, and then you…” His voice choked up.
Yaku’s heart felt like it was being wrung like a towel. “Lev…” He couldn’t find words to speak. He’d just assumed the worst and bolted after shooting his kouhai down with accusations. “I…”
“I know it might’ve sounded like it was a lie, Yaku-san, but I was serious.” Lev’s eyes looked torn, hurt. He blinked and a tear rolled down his porcelain cheek.
Yaku suddenly grabbed his hand before his mind could think better of it. “Lev, I’m sorry. I didn’t take it seriously because, well… I was scared, too. I was scared you were lying because I like you, too. And I didn’t want to tell you that because I was worried you were just joking around, and then I would’ve been exposing myself. I cared too much about avoiding getting hurt and not enough about understanding you, and that was awful of me.”
Lev’s eyes widened and his nose, pink as a bunny’s, sniffled. His eyes searched Yaku's. “You… Yaku-san, you like me, too?” His voice was breaking down.
Yaku looked him right back in the eyes. Those ice blue irises and dilating pupils gazed at him with fear and confusion and regret, but also, he realized, so much affection. He could feel Lev’s hand, uncharacteristically, tentative, reaching out to his arm. Yaku pulled him into a hug and nearly grunted as he realized just how big Lev really was. “Yeah, I like you, you big idiot…” He sniffled, too, before realizing he was tearing up himself. “Why do you think I went looking for that ‘Miyuki’ person? I was jealous and stupid, and it’s your fault, you little… dingus.”
Lev managed to laugh, and hugged Yaku back tighter. “Yaku-san… you called me big and little! Which one is it?”
“Seriously?” Yaku turned beet red, but Lev didn’t have to know that.
Lev just held him even tighter. “I really like you, Yaku-san… I can’t believe you like me, too!”
“I…” Yaku huffed before breaking into a shaky sigh of relief. His stomach was flipping like an acrobat. “I can barely believe it, too.”
“And you’re graduating!” Lev cried. Yaku felt him slumping.
“Hey, don’t think that just because I won’t be around 24/7 that your ass is safe from being whooped if you pull some funny business!” he threatened.
Lev giggled. “Even your threats sound cute, Yaku-san.”
Cheeks burning, Yaku hid his face in Lev’s broad shoulder. His coat was soft. He let himself linger in the hug just a moment longer. He’d finally confessed, and it was an utter mess… but then again, he liked Lev, the tallest, cutest mess he’d ever encountered. Better late than never, he supposed.
<<<3>>>
“Why, hello there,” Kuroo chuckled with a wave down the hallway. “Lovebirds,” he mouthed, grinning down at Kenma, who rolled his eyes but allowed his boyfriend a smirk.
As if on command, Yaku’s face began to burn. Glancing up at Lev, he saw they were on the same page. “I—” he coughed and cleared his throat. “S-shut up, Kuroo. Nothing to see here.” He shuffled closer to Lev to hide their hands grasping one another.
Kuroo laughs. “Alright, then, sure… Don’t blame me if the whole team knows by noon, though~”
“Kuroo!”
“See ya!”
Lev looks down at Yaku. He’s so cute, he thinks. When he’s mad, when he’s happy… He grinned and resolved to make sure that no matter what, Yaku would be happy with Lev. He had to do his best!
“Oi, Lev, time to go to class now,” said Yaku. He let go of his hand, and immediately Lev felt his spirits dampen just a little. “Don’t forget!” barked his boyfriend, jarring him out of his disappointment. “Receive practice today after school, you hear?”
Lev perked right up. “Yes! You got it –” he pauses. “Yaku-chan!”
Yaku flushed from head to toe. “Oi!”
Lev ran away giggling before Yaku could kick him, and winked before disappearing around the corner.
“What a big… cute idiot.”
<3