Chapter Text
Jimin was furious when he went to Jungkook. He parked at the location Jungkook wanted him and marched inside the hall to find Jungkook talking to someone who looked like the manager.
“Ah! Here comes my fiancé.” Jungkook exclaimed as Jimin came to him and then he hugged him by the waist before placing a kiss to his cheek.
“Oh how wonderful. I’ll let you two talk it out then.” The manager said and then left them.
Jimin had a tight smile to his lips while the manager stayed but as soon as he was gone, Jimin turns to Jungkook and asked, “Jungkook, what is this about? Weren’t you at an ‘important meeting’? Why did you just call me out all of a sudden?”
“Babe, you still haven’t realized?” Jungkook asked as he blinked his eyes and Jimin frowned as he said, “Jungkook, I’m really in no mood for puzzles.”
“This is our reception hall.” Jungkook said and then made a grand gesture to the hall that could easily fit 300 guests and Jimin’s face fell when he saw Jungkook jump around the place.
Jungkook then explained that he had been waiting to show this reception hall to Jimin which needs one year advance booking but Jungkook had managed to pull some strings and got them the hall. He had apparently dreamed of doing a grand celebration at this hall place and his wedding just happened to be the best occasion for him.
He jumped around showing Jimin the big garden where he imagined the food will be arranged, the stage and how he wanted the waiters to dress up as gladiators.
Jimin, though, was still back in the dance class thinking about Yoongi’s words. He didn’t know why it hurt more than it should to know that Yoongi would never fall in love with anyone else. He couldn’t believe to what extent Yoongi’s love could go.
Seeing how dazed out Jimin was, Jungkook smirked and approached him. Jimin didn’t listen to half the things he said and kept looking to the floor or the window so Jungkook decided to lift him up and carried him into the building.
“Let me go Jungkook!” Jimin squirmed as he tried to get off but Jungkook only gripped him tighter.
“No, you wanted to practice right? Let’s practice this then.” Jungkook said as he took him up the stairs. Jimin had no choice but to hold tight as Jungkook effortlessly carried him.
“Where are you taking me?” Jimin asked as he was beginning to feel little uncomfortable being in Jungkook’s arms like this. They weren’t like Yoongi’s arms, Jungkook wasn’t gentle.
“So after our reception, I will carry you like this and take you up to the wedding room which will be all decorated. Shall we check it out?” Jungkook raised his eyebrows suggestively at Jimin who gave him a fake smile, wanting to just run away right. This obviously meant a lot to Jungkook but Jimin just couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi.
They entered a luxurious room with a huge bed and windows which reached the ceiling. This room looked a lot more modern than the rest of the hall and Jimin gulped when he realized what this room was for.
“So this is the room without decorations as of yet but on our wedding night there will be flowers, dark curtains will be set up of course and this room is sound proof so we can enjoy a lot with no interruptions.” Jungkook said as he set Jimin down.
Jimin looked around feeling his face heat up as he saw the bed where he was to supposedly lose his virginity. It felt weird to think that because Jimin hasn’t even thought about sleeping with Jungkook yet. He has though, had too many such fantasies about Yoongi.
“Uh...it’s a nice room.” Jimin said as he turned his back to Jungkook, looking at the couch beside the bed which was pretty big too.
Jungkook looked at Jimin’s back and he licked his lips. He undid his jacket and put it over the hanger and locked the door.
He came up behind Jimin and hugged him, inhaling his scent and whispered “God, I love you so much.”
Jimin didn’t reply back but felt very uneasy as Jungkook nuzzled his neck.
“Come here. Sit down and relax.” Jungkook said as he turned Jimin around and then made him to sit on the bed. Jimin became stiff, nervousness spreading through him at the way Jungkook was looking at him.
Jungkook smiled at him, tried to look kind but all it did was make him look even more unrealistic. This wasn’t the person Jimin had once liked. Jungkook took his hand, kissing it a couple of times before leaned down to kiss Jimin’s neck.
“Jungkook…” Jimin called like a warning as he pushed at Jungkook’s chest but Jungkook only pushed his hand away and started to lick his neck.
“Jungkook, please st-….” Jimin’s voice came out as a choked sob when he felt Jungkook’s hands slipping under his sweater and he touched his bare skin.
“You look so damn sexy. I have been dying to have you on a bed ever since i first saw you. Jimin, I can’t wait so let’s just do it here.” Jungkook said as he got way too excited and pushed Jimin onto the bed and got on top of him.
“Jungkook! Stop this! I don’t like this.” Jimin started to push him but Jungkook was already too fired up after his encounter with the guy at the pool party so he pushed Jimin’s sweater up to lick at his skin.
Jimin’s entire body rejected the feel of Jungkook’s tongue, hated his weight on him and as he closed his eyes shut tight, he remembered Yoongi’s face.
“I said stop!” Jimin yelled and then pushed Jungkook off of him causing him to fall to the ground with a thud.
Jimin gasped when he realized what he had done and he quickly came to help Jungkook but the younger only slapped his hand away as he asked angrily, “What is wrong with you? We are getting married in two days and you are acting like a bloody teenage girl.”
“Jungkook wait…I…” Jimin tried to explain but Jungkook got up and pointed to Jimin on the floor and said, “You may not realize it yet but I’ll be your husband soon so you better get your head into this! Is it so wrong of me to expect for us to have sex?”
Jimin bit his lip. He had no answer to that. Jungkook isn’t wrong. They should be able to get intimate easily but Jimin just can’t bring himself to do that. He just can’t when he has Yoongi in his life.
Jimin hanged his head low in guilt and Jungkook hated how Jimin didn’t even try to calm him or ask him to continue so he added, “Do you know how patient I have been with you? No man would wait this long to touch the one they love. You better prepare yourself Jimin because after our wedding, I won’t stop even if you beg me to.”
Jungkook left angrily from there, not even caring for Jimin’s feelings or to talk things out but Jimin would have probably not said anything because of the million feelings that were bombarding him.
Jimin was left with a messed up heart filled with confused emotions and somehow all of it connected back to Yoongi.
Jimin went back to his house while continuously thinking about everything that had happened. He thought about how the past few months had went through with Yoongi unexpectedly entering his life and his marriage and his engagement to Jungkook but at the end of it all, Jimin decided that his feelings for Jungkook only faltered because Yoongi had come into his life.
Without Yoongi, things would have been definitely different. Things were good with Yoongi, they truly were and maybe it was Jimin’s fault for just seeing the good that came because of Yoongi. Yoongi is a nice person and that attracted Jimin but his personality would attract anyone. Jimin was the reason behind Jungkook’s anger and irritation. It was because Jimin never fully gave himself to him and that is the reason why everything is wrong.
Jimin couldn’t completely give himself to Jungkook because he was still married to Yoongi and somewhere in his heart, he still valued that. He still knew in his heart that Yoongi was his husband and so Jimin had decided what he wanted.
Jimin barged into his house and Jin greeted him but Jimin had no time for that. He needed to see this through right now.
“Where is Yoongi?” Jimin asked Jin who looked a little taken aback by Jimin’s tone but he answered, “In his room…what happened?”
Jimin didn’t bother to answer and quickly made his way to Yoongi’s room. He kept his heart strong and determined. He wasn’t going to get wavered he thought as he entered Yoongi’s room.
Yoongi was sitting on the edge of his bed, seemed to have just gotten out of shower. Yoongi greeted Jimin cheerfully but Jimin lowered his head, didn’t even look into Yoongi’s eyes as he demanded, “Yoongi, I want a divorce.”
Yoongi’s smile slowly faded away and he frowned when he saw how frustrated and hurt Jimin looked. He could tell that something had happened.
Yoongi threw his towel on the bed angrily and it made Jimin flinch but Jimin didn’t look up. He kept standing by the door, eyes downcast and the back of his eyes felt hot.
“You never considered this as a marriage then why bother with a divorce?” Yoongi asked as he closed the distance between them and Jimin gulped, stepping back which hurt Yoongi so much that he immediately backed away.
“Because you do and that makes me go crazy.” Jimin blurted and Yoongi watched him, waiting for Jimin to tell him what happened and Jimin just gave in.
“Jungkook tried to kiss me and he tried to…he wanted to sleep with me and I rejected him. I couldn’t do it and I hate that. We are getting married and that shouldn’t bother me. Im a grown man, i can just do that with but i just can’t do it because every single time i with him, all i can think about is you.”
“Even when Jungkook was kissing my neck and calling me sexy, i just felt so empty but when you call me pretty, i feel my face getting hot. You have messed up my heart since the second you stepped into my life. So just…just give me a divorce.” Jimin said and then ran back to his room while Yoongi closed his eyes and threw his head back exhaling deeply.
Yoongi didn’t know if he should feel happy or sad about this situation because from Jimin’s words, Yoongi can tell that Jimin has fallen in love with him but Jimin hadn’t realized that at all.
The night before Jimin’s wedding finally arrived. Jimin apologized to Jungkook, told him that he just got scared and Jungkookt said that it was okay and that he would wait for Jimin no matter what but his words still resonated in Jimin’s mind. Jungkook told him that no man would wait this long to touch the man he loved but then why did Yoongi never try to do anything with him?
Yoongi could have easily misused his status as his husband, could have easily forced Jimin into sleeping with him but he didn’t. He didn’t even try to kiss him; it was Jimin who had initiated their kisses all the time. It didn’t mean that Yoongi didn’t love him, definitely not but it just meant that the way Yoongi loved him was one which needn’t involve their bodies. Yoongi loved Jimin heart and soul and it made Jimin want that divorce even more.
The longer he thought abut Yoongi, the more Jimin wanted to be with him and the more confused he got.
Jimin was having a restless night, his heart still a mess from trying to decide if his choice was right or not. He really tried imaging a life with Jungkook, tried to rethink Yoongi’s scenario in his head again and again and it just didn’t feel right at all. Jimin began to tear up because he felt like he was forcing himself to marry Jungkookt just so he could forget about Yoongi and that is the worst thing he could do for everyone and himself.
Jimin sighed as he twisted and turned in his bed before he got up to get some warm milk. He just needed to sleep and get married tomorrow.
He lazily moved past his door and as he was moving down, he saw Yoongi in his room. Yoongi had his suitcase open, his clothes half arranged in them which caused Jimin to frown. Jimin cracked the door open and saw Yoongi sitting on the floor, used tissues beside him but he was speaking on phone with a smile.
Yoongi had been packing for his flight back to Korea the very next day when he decided to his grandma to tell her that was coming back. Every other member in his family was seated around and listening to the conversation and Yoongi felt really happy and lonely listening to them greet him and ask him about his well-being.
“London? It’s just like Korea but the thing is that there are more Koreans here. Everywhere I go I bump into someone who keeps asking me about Daegu. I had a lot of fun here.” Yoongi lied and his grandma thought he was exaggerating a lot but that’s how Yoongi was. He never truly showed his emotions but his grandma knew him better.
“Did you behave there like you did here in Daegu? I hope you just didn’t shut up and sit in a place feeling inferior.” His grandma said and Yoongi cleared his throat trying to mask his shaky voice. None of them had any clue how much Yoongi had been controlling himself. Every day had been a struggle since he came here but he persevered for his love, the very same love which would become someone else’s tomorrow.
“No way, ever since I came here I have been walking like I’m the king here! Jin and Namjoon are very kind.” Yoongi said and laughed at the end. It’s not the entire truth but this will have to do for now.
“Then why are you coming back?” his grandma was concerned because she felt something was a little off. She had seen Yoongi since he was a little boy so she knew everything about him. Something didn’t feel right to her and began to worry about her grandson a lot.
Jimin’s blood ran cold when he heard that Yoongi was going back. He hadn’t been talking to Yoongi a lot and just sulking in his room but he didn’t even hear about this from his parents. Jimin immediately felt awful but his clenched his teeth to stop himself from feeling sad. He needed Yoongi to leave. It’s for the best.
“I just miss you all and I just want to see you all. I want to eat your famous red kimchi and I miss your hugs and kisses grandma.” Yoongi said letting his sadness show with the excuse of missing his family. He did miss them but it’s nothing compared to how much he had been missing Jimin this whole time.
“And what about Jimin?” his grandma asked curiously and surprisingly the lie came easier to Yoongi than he thought.
“Jimin already packed all our stuff but he can’t come.” Yoongi said in a regrettable tone and his family members groaned when they heard that.
“Why not? It’s good for you to come with him. It would your first visit since you got married.” his grandma whined and Jimin felt himself spiraling when he remembered his wedding, his relatives happiness and their expectations from their marriage.
“He can’t get a leave right now. He is really a fool, he keeps saying he will leave the job just so he could come and visit.” Yoongi said and Jimin was just filled with regret. This was just painful to watch.
“Tell me the truth; have you and Jimin been getting along? You aren’t fighting right?” Yoongi’s grandma asked and Yoongi scoffed at the question. He really wished that he could have the pleasure of a couple’s fight with Jimin.
“No way, he loves me even more now after our first night. He is pretty wild grandma.” Yoongi said teasingly to lighten the mood and his grandma and everyone there blushed, including Jimin.
“Yah! Shut up, you shameless delinquent. Your manners are still the worst!” His grandma scolded wishing her grandson was right there so that she could twist his ear and make him do sit ups.
“I’m just kidding. But yes, Jimin really loves me a lot and we are very happy.” Yoongi said but couldn’t help but cry because this was the kind of lie he would have to tell his entire life.
“Okay, so grandma…I’m gonna just go. It’s getting late here.” Yoongi said unable to hold his tears back.
“Okay, Yoongi-ah. Take care of yourself and came back safely. I will pray for your happy marriage.” His grandma said and Yoongi laughed at her kindness. He hated how he would one day break her heart and hopes with the truth.
“Yeah, uh thanks bye.” Yoongi said hurriedly and then cut the call as he cried silently sobbing.
Jimin watched him through the door, his heart aching just like Yoongi’s. He wished things were different, he wished it wants like this but it was already too late.
“진정한 사랑이 당신의 사랑하는 사람을 소유한다는 의미는 아닙니다” Jimin said and Yoongi turned around wiping his tears as Jimin entered his room.
“True love does not mean that you own your loved one, that’s the meaning behind it, isn’t it?” Jimin said and Yoongi stared at him for a while before he nodded and said “uh yeah, it was said by those who had failed in love.”
Jimin froze looking at him with big eyes and Yoongi saw what his words had done to Jimin so he quickly dismissed it and said, “I’m kidding; I just made that up for fun.”
Jimin clasped his hands behind his back and nodded at that. The atmosphere was suddenly so awkward from their silence and situation so Jimin turned to leave when Yoongi asked, “Can we dance one last time? For old time’s sake.”
Jimin stilled, looked at Yoongi who looked so desperate and so on edge, hoping that Jimin will just accept and Jimin was amazed at how much something as simple as asking for dance meant for Yoongi. He did everything with such politeness so Jimin agreed and let Yoongi put his hand around his waist, pulling him closer than normal as they danced slowly.
It was the first time Yoongi didn’t look into Jimin’s eyes when they were together and it felt weird to be the one doing the staring. Yoongi was only looking in between their bodies and Jimin finally saw how long Yoongi’s eye lashes were, how soft his hair was, how his lips were the perfect shape for kissing, how sharp his jaw was and how squishy his cheeks were.
Jimin was staring too hard, analyzing too much so he looked away.
“Jimin-ah…” Yoongi called sweetly and Jimin’s heart fluttered at the nickname. Yoongi had been calling him with such fondness since the beginning but it never failed to make Jimin feel content to hear him call him like that.
Yoongi was serious, looking at Jimin now and Jimin looked back too, not wishing to look away any time soon as Yoongi said, “You weren’t able to get married to me and I wasn’t able to divorce you so let’s call it quits, yeah? Let’s just say we are equal now.”
Jimin nodded, not really wanting to talk about that.
“And I want you to promise me one thing.” Yoongi said and Jimin squeezed his hand a little as they stilled.
“What is it?” Jimin asked his voice too low and small but Yoongi could hear it perfectly.
“You know, few years down the line, when we are old and I would come back and call you, please come and visit me because even then it would be just as important for me to know if you are happy or not.” Yoongi said and Jimin exhaled sharply because why was Yoongi so sweet? Why was his love so sweet? He could never understand and he almost felt defeated seeing how Yoongi still cared for him because Jimin in this situation would have ran away a lot sooner.
Jimin only answered with a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek.
“What is this for?” Yoongi asked and Jimin looked into his eyes, tears forming and whispered, “Just saying goodbye.”
“You are a great guy, Yoongi. I will really miss you.” Jimin said with a shaky voice as he let go of Yoongi and left from there with tears in his eyes.
That night, none of them slept. Namjoon crying as Jin tried to comfort him but he couldn’t help the tears too. Jimin tried to survive the conflict of his heart and Yoongi who was just defeated and tired. He was done now. He had reached his limit.
The next day while Jimin got ready for his wedding, Namjoon had slipped out and went to the bar to drink until he couldn’t see the disaster that was happening right in front of his eyes.
Daehyun and Yoongi had gone out to search for him when Jin told them about how upset Namjoon had been. They found Namjoon totally out of his mind and still drinking and Daehyun rushed towards him.
“Joon-ah?? What are you doing?” Daehyun asked as he took away the alcohol from Namjoon’s hand.
“Can’t you tell? I’m getting drunk!” Namjoon scoffed as he tried to reach for the bottle but Daehyun pulled away.
“I can’t believe that this is even happening. I’m seeing my son go and he is getting married to the wrong guy. Everything feels so damn wrong.” Namjoon said really envying Daehyun who was so happy now.
“Look at this idiot! Look at how he is giving everything up. Why are you just waiting Yoongi? Why can’t you and Jimin just be happy together?” Namjoon pointed to Yoongi, angry at him but he couldn’t for long and he broke down, crying and pleading “I… I’m so sorry Yoongi, I’m so sorry.”
“Joonie please stop drinking. You have to take Jimin to the church and…” Daehyun said and this angered Namjoon more.
“I’m not doing it! I won’t do it! Ask Jin to do it, I don’t care!” Namjoon barked and Daehyun looked to Yoongi who had no choice but to volunteer escort Jimin to the church and also to be the one to walk him down the aisle.
Yoongi prayed that no man should ever go through such a torture.
Jimin looked stunningly gorgeous as usual. Yoongi couldn’t even take his eyes off of him. Jimin looked cute and pretty in Korean traditional clothes but he looked like a handsome and refined prince in his royal blue two piece suit which had been paired with a black dress shirt inside. Jimin looked like a prince from fairytale and Yoongi fell for him even more.
Yoongi helped Jimin sit in the limo which was decorated in flowers and then went to occupy the seat beside him smiling at him weakly while Jimin kept staring him with a pained expression. All through the way, Jimin kept looking at Yoongi longingly and Yoongi was looking out the window trying to keep his calm. He didn’t even notice Jimin’s gaze because he was too busy trying to hold back his own tears.
They reached the church and Yoongi held out his hand for Jimin to help Jimin get off the limo and this was so ridiculously cheesy, so stupidly romantic but Jimin enjoyed it. He enjoyed this prince like the treatment he was getting. They walked down the aisle and everyone’s eyes were on them but Jimin kept looking at Yoongi and at how gently he held his hand.
Jungkook smiled brightly as he saw Jimin coming towards him while Namjoon scowled.
Yoongi let go of Jimin’s hand and glanced at Jungkook once before turning to leave but then he stopped and went back to Jungkook who was alarmed by him because there was a sudden change in Yoongi’s aura.
Yoongi shook Jungkook’s hand and said firmly, “Congratulations.”
But then Yoongi started speaking in crystal clear English and everyone there watched in shock as Yoongi spoke to Jungkook in his raspy low voice, “You are a lucky man to be marrying Jimin. He loves you and I wish the both of you will be able to spend this life prosperously.”
Yoongi smiled at him but it had this dark murderous aura to it as he continued, “Please take care of Jimin…Jiminie who is everybody’s little angel. Treat him right and you won’t have to worry about me coming back from Daegu to remind you how lucky you are.”
Jin gasped as he heard Yoongi say that and Jimin’s jaw was on the floor similar to everybody who knew Yoongi. Jungkook couldn’t even comprehend what just happened.
“Congrats once again.” Yoongi said and then turned to finally leave the church, all the while not looking at Jimin but Jimin’s entire concentration was on him.
The priest cleared his throat and Jimin looked to him as he spoke of the vows and then asked Jungkook first, “With the church as witness, do you, Jeon Jungkook, take Kim Jimin as your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.” came the answer, loud and clear.
“And Kim Jimin, do you take Jungkook as your lawfully wedded husband?” the priest asked him and Jimin was speechless.
He was literally speechless and everyone there watched him with confusion.
“Jimin?” Jungkook called out as he grabbed Jimin’s arm tightly, almost hurting him and the priest cleared his throat asking Jungkook if he should repeat the question again.
“Jiminie?” Namjoon called standing up and Jimin turned to see the crowd there and he felt the twist in his gut.
He can’t marry Jungkook…not when he was still in love with that idiot Daegu boy!
“No.” Jimin said just as clearly and Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock.
“What?” Jungkook barked as he squeezed Jimin’s arm even tighter but Jimin pulled his arm away.
“No! I can’t…I…I’m sorry but…I can’t. I love Yoongi.” Jimin started out the sentence with worry and nervousness but ended it with a smile to his lips. He undid his tie and threw his jacket to Jin, slowly getting way from Jungkook.
“JIMIN!” Jungkook yelled as he saw Jimin running out from the church to go to Yoongi.
“Run Jimin! Go and get Yoongi!” Namjoon cheered as he got hold of Jungkook who tried to run after Jimin. Namjoon and Jin laughed happily and as they saw Jimin exit the gate, they hugged feeling happier than ever.
Jimin ran mindlessly, his hair becoming a mess, panting while he looked for Yoongi. He was having a rush as he ran searching for him and then his feet stopped when he saw Yoongi at a park nearby, sitting on a bench with his suit jacket thrown over his lap.
Jimin dashed to him and Yoongi immediately stood up and Jimin stopped right in front of Yoongi, trying to calm his beating heart but just the sight of Yoongi was making him feel like his heart would leap out.
“Jiminie? What are you doing here?” Yoongi asked and Jimin giggled at him.
“I love you.” Jimin said happily but his voice was ragged from all that running.
“What?” Yoongi asked in disbelief.
“I love you, Min Yoongi!” Jimin exclaimed, clearly this time and Yoongi pinched his own cheek hardly because this was clearly a dream he needed to wake up from.
“But what about Jungkook? You were going to marri-…umph!” Yoongi was speaking in shock after feeling the pain from his cheek when he was shut up by Jimin’s lips on his.
The kiss was like no other and Yoongi almost went to heaven because of it. Jimin wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s neck while Yoongi placed his on Jimin’s hips. They kissed till their hearts were satisfied until Yoongi broke it and Jimin giggled at the dazed out blank expression on Yoongi’s face.
“Yeah, this felt right.” Jimin said dreamily as he nuzzled his face in Yoongi’s neck and Yoongi nodded and asked shyly, “can we do that again?”
“Oh, definitely.” Jimin said as he hugged Yoongi tightly and placed yet another hard kiss which was only one of the many millions which he would give Yoongi in the future.
“Why did you lie to us about not knowing English? Acting like an innocent lost puppy, you tricked us.” Jimin complained as the both of them were going back home after spending the weekend at a resort. They had decided to bring along Yoongi’s bike so Jimin hugged him extra tightly as he spoke into his ear.
“Tricked you? You should have known that I knew English the day when Mr. John said those things to you. You never translated that to me and yet I was able to get you your project.” Yoongi said laughing and Jimin finally got what he meant by that and he felt stupid.
“Oh my god! Yes! Min Yoongi, you are truly amazing.” Jimin complimented as he rested his chin to Yoongi’s shoulder.
“I know, thanks for reminding me.” Yoongi said proudly and that earned him a bite to his neck.
“Ouch! Can’t you wait until we get home to do that? The marks from last time haven’t even faded yet.” Yoongi whined although he was actually enjoying how clingy Jimin got even after 3 years of marriage.
“No way. I have lost too much time with you. I will never let you go again.” Jimin said as he kissed Yoongi’s shoulder and although Yoongi had forgiven Jimin long back, he is happy that Jimin feels so possessive of him.
“Oh god! You really are going to be the death of me. Wasn’t the weekend enough?” Yoongi asked moaning as Jimin enjoyed kissing his neck.
“Don’t know, wasn’t counting but it’s nearly not enough. Drive fast Yoongi, can’t wait to have you in me again.” Jimin said getting impatient and Yoongi laughed as sped up. He would like to get home before Jimin decides to strip him immediately.
“I will never stop loving you, Min Jimin.” Yoongi said as he leaned back into Jimin’s chest.
“Me neither, my sweet and silly Daegu boy.” Jimin replied back with a smile and Yoongi enjoyed the nickname a lot more than he ever thought he would.