Chapter Text
'I ended up coming ...' Chuuya hated himself for getting tempted by Dazai's words about all the things they could do at school now that they're lovers.
Dazai grinned the second he left Oda's car and spotted his lover coming through the school portals his heart skipping a beat when Chuuya saw him but directly averted his gaze with a light blush on his cheeks, still heading towards them and greeting his teacher before the three of them walk inside the building.
"Sorry for not calling last night or actually- i won't call till you're done with your exam !" Chuuya was pretty categorical inciting a retort from the brunet walking beside him "What- that's not fair ! It's now that you should support me the most but that's what you decide instead ??!"
The teacher walking ahead of them let out a chuckle at their stupid morning arguing but he quickly turned around when he didn't hear Chuuya's reply only to find no one there. On his right were windows to the courtyard while on his left .. 'The Science lab ? Probably empty right now ...' he couldn't help but sigh, he wished he had that much energy in the morning or just- in general.
In said science lab, Chuuya still was processing what just happened as he found himself pinned on the wall by two not that strong arms on his shoulders, what were stronger were probably those lips on his, they made his knees weak, maybe even falling if it wasn't Dazai's arm on his back supporting his weight now.
"W-why would you do that ?????"
"Did you forget what i said ? About how you should kiss me first thing in the morning ?"
"Of- of course i didn't forget .. i just .. didn't know school was included in this .."
'Stop lying, Chuuya, you know you came just for this ..' Chuuya thought biting on his lip to keep calm, blue orbs not daring to meet with hazel ones as Dazai still had his face inches away from his lover's. Luckily, the bell rang making him pull away for both of them to head to their classroom not noticing that pair of eyes on them the whole time.
"Why did you have to take me to that laboratory anyway ? You did that on purpose, didn't you .."
"Oh so you remember ."
"Of course i do .. it's where ..."
"It's where you told me to never talk to you again so that no one makes rumors about us yet look at us now~"
"Yeah .. look at us now .."
They had their hands close, too close, almost touching but they couldn't, they had to keep it for themselves. In the classroom they took their usual seats, Dazai behind Chuuya, playing with Chuuya's long ginger locks for the two first hours they spent there. The English teacher definitely saw them but she already promised herself not to scold third year students anymore, there is nothing for her to gain by doing that.
"What do we have next ?"
Chuuya leaned his head back on Dazai's desk looking up at him "Maths ." blushing a little at the brunet adjusting himself for his head to be directly on top of Chuuya's "I wanna kiss you ."
"You can't do that ." Chuuya didn't wait to get up then turn to face him properly, he knew what his lover was capable of "Let's skip the next class ."
"You took the words out of my mouth ." Dazai got up taking his school back with him with Chuuya right after him heading to the back door "Last night i was about to call you for advice but i guess i will just ask you now ."
"About what ?"
"About mom ."
"What's wrong ? Nothing happend, right ?"
"No .. it's just that .. she wanna get married .."
"What ?!"
These news didn't fail to startle the brunet who asked the first question that crossed his mind "With who ????"
"That one man .. he is just like her as in- he lost his wife too and now, he wants to get married again, he even has a daughter .."
Dazai had all his attention on Chuuya's words as he was about to pull the back door open but someone did it before him getting both their attention, the weird girl known as Saya was the one staring at them since earlier and now was standing there analyzing them "Sorry for interrupting your talk but you two seem so different that i gotta ask, did anything change ??"
"What do you mean ?" Chuuya was, just as usual, confused by her words while his lover thought of it for a moment figuring that it was safe to tell her "I think she is talking about how we seem closer which is natural since we are dating now ."
"YOU-" she had to put her hand on her mouth not to scream while she kept slamming her other hand on the desk beside her "Oh my god !! This is my second OTP becoming canon after Victuuri !!!! I can die in peace now .."
"No, please don't die .." Chuuya was extremely confused, he never thought the two of them dating could make someone this happy, the girl was almost crying. Dazai on the other hand, only chuckled at her reaction adding to it by winking at her while putting his index on his lips "Keep that to yourself though~"
"I will !!! I won't tell anyone i promise !!!!"
They both gave her a smile about to leave the room before the Maths teacher comes in but she stopped them again seeming more serious now "Ah wait, i have another question, i didn't mean to overhear your talk but just now, you were talking about your mother getting married with a man who has a daughter right ?"
Chuuya nodded, still not sure of what was going on, the girl's words confused him even more as she got all serious "Then she might become your little sister ... now the question is whether she will be a new third wheel or not ..."
"What do you think about it ?" Dazai's serious tone surprised his lover who wondered why he suddenly seemed all interested. Saya leaning on the desk beside her wearing her glasses with her index tapping her forehead making it seem like she was trying to solve the hardest equation in the existence didn't help the redhead at all "What .. are you doing ?"
"Just recalling every Shojo and Yaoi with a similar scenario .. give me a second ." And it really took her a second before she claps her hands as if it was her Eureka moment "You shall have no worries, Mr. Seme, the new girl who plays the role of the little sister doesn't seem to be a threat to your relationship ."
Chuuya swore there were obvious question marks on his head while Dazai was even more interested "More details please ."
"She will be a sweet little sister to our Uke but she might make Mr. Seme jealous sometimes, probably when she would call Mr. Uke 'Onii-chan' ~"
"I see, i see .. that would indead make me jealous ..."
'D-does he actually understand what she's saying ????' Chuuya was shocked not able to follow their conversation at all, only looking to whoever was talking having his attention on Dazai now ".. but since i am the younger one then i might just call him 'Onii-chan' too~"
"That- god that's so adorable !!!" Saya wanted to cry, she quickly took Dazai's hand annoying the ginger "I knew i can trust our Seme !!" before she takes Chuuya's hand too joining their hands then suddenly acting like some deity "May your relationship know only trust and happiness, your love shall remain till the end of times ."
Dazai and Saya bowed to each other while Chuuya, as clueless as he was, chose to just bow down too then look up at his lover now that they were finally able to leave the classroom "Did you understand what she was saying ?" he sure got annoyed at Dazai's hand petting his head "You are too young to understand, Chuu~"
He quickly retrieved his hand at his angry chibi glaring at him "You two are just being weirdos ! Makes me remember Jean, he would also say some weird stuff that no one understood, that guy lives in his own world .. anyway, where are we going ?"
"To the library, i need few books for my revising ."
Chuuya had to bite on his lip to keep calm 'Dazai .. THAT Dazai is thinking about his studies ????' He pulled the brunet from his uniform gesturing for him to lean down which Dazai did only to have Chuuya's hand on his forehead "Do you have a fever ?? Is the world ending ?! Or wait- are you sure you are the Dazai i know .. ?"
"Stop acting so shocked ." Dazai pulled the door of the library open heading to the shelves in the back to find the books he needed, he gave at the same time the title of some books to Chuuya to pick them for him but the first book Chuuya pulled happened to be right beside the one Dazai pulled, he blushed a little thinking this was just like a scene from some Shojo then he went for the next book.
'I .. i hate my short height ...' Chuuya looked up at the book in the upper shelves that he will never be able to reach deciding to just wait there and not ask for Dazai's help but as he did, he noticed the book he used back when he was studying only Maths, he took it smiling at it as he went from page to page till he found the one where Dazai wrote '愛してる' Chuuya could finally read it, Chuuya could finally read the 'I love you' Dazai wrote since back then.
He quickly wiped the tear that threatened to fall when Dazai joined him and instently grinned at his short lover then picked the book that he could easily reach handing it to the redhead "Hold that for me for a second ."
Chuuya was focused on the book about to hold it not expecting to have Dazai's face beside his quickly stealing a kiss from him, he panicked and let all the books in his hands fall making the girl working there complain but what annoyed him the most was when his lover said "Okay now let's return all the books from where we took them~"
"What- but didn't you say ..."
"I just needed them to share with you some scenarios that could happen in a library~"
"Why did i not expect that .." Chuuya let out a long sigh getting startled again when his boyfriend held his wrist pulling him to the nearest restroom, luckily the hallways were empty.
"Why are you-"
"It's 'making out in the restroom' time now~"
Dazai wasted no second to lock their lips in a gentle kiss again, leaning over him while Chuuya was leaning back on the sink. He thought his heart may stop and it did stop for a second when the bell rang and they heard some male students coming in. The brunet quickly pulled him to the closest restroom closing the door behind them.
"W-why would you-"
"Keep silent if you don't want them to find out .."
Dazai caged the poor redhead between his body and the door having his lips too close to the other's ear as he whispered his words. Chuuya figured he had no choice but to follow the other's words now that he could hear the male students on the other side of the door.
Dazai's hands finding their way to Chuuya's waist then to his belly up to his chest weren't helping though, Chuuya poked him with his elbow but the brunet only pulled him closer resting his lips on Chuuya's neck. Chuuya's heart that won't take too long before it stops beating was the last thing he cared about.
It felt like they spent ages there till they were able to leave when those students went back to their classrooms "I .. i hate you so much ..."
"Says the one who had his heart racing and his cheeks reddening this whole time~" Dazai suddenly pushed him on the sink again standing behind him as he made him look up at the mirror there before he kisses his cheek "I'm just making sure to do all these things before graduating, it's only now in high school that we can do these stuff .. i don't want to have any regrets, Chuuya ..."
"I .. i know but not so fast .. my heart won't be able to follow your pace ..." Chuuya muttered holding on the sink tight as he had Dazai's arms around his waist "Don't worry, mine is just the same .."
Chuuya suddenly had his hand pulled then rested on top of Dazai's chest, he could feel how his heart was racing too, they were just the same, so in love with each other. He sighed, giving up, when did he even not give up when it came to this giant yet extremely cute lover that was his "So ? What's the next scenario ?"
"The rooftop one !"
Chuuya followed his lover to the rooftop, even holding hands when they walked up the stairs, he still felt shy and embarrassed over all what they were doing but he didn't want to have any regrets, he wanted to share as many memories as possible with him.
In the rooftop, he didn't hesitate to sit between Dazai's legs when the latter asked him to, it was embarrassing but it also felt warm "Now that i think of it, we didn't finish our talk about your mother ."
"As i said, she is thinking about marrying that man but she left the last word to me after i meet him this afternoon, that's what is stressing me out .."
Dazai directed his arms around Chuuya's waist smiling when Chuuya instinctively rested his own hands on his "Why would that stress you out ? Do you not want her to get married ?"
"That's not it .. i just want her to be happy ... but part of me feels like she is only doing this so that, in case i go to that University, i won't worry about her being on her own and i don't want that, i don't want her to feel like she has to get married ."
"That sure is complicated .." Dazai leaned down, resting his cheek against Chuuya's blushing one "Why don't you start by meeting the guy, knowing more about him, seeing how she interacts with him .. if he is a good guy then there is nothing bad about her marrying him in my opinion, at least she would have a husband and a daughter to rely on when you won't be here, unless you are planning to give up on that University to stay with her ."
"That's-" Chuuya was about to say that of course he would stay for her till he remembered their argument and how he said he wouldn't stay for him, he had no right to say that now, he couldn't hurt him "You are right, that's the best for her .."
"Besides, even if you fail the exam and stay, you would still have to leave her at some point in your life so that you start your own life, maybe .. get married and have a family, then if she is alone, she would feel like she is just a burden to you .."
"Just like i feel i'm a burden to her now ..."
"Just like i feel i have been a burden to Odasaku my whole life, sadly, it took me too long to realize that ..." Dazai leaned his forehead on his lover's shoulder, feeling a little better when Chuuya petted him, kissing his head gently "So as i said, if the guy is nice and cares for her then you should respect her decision ."
"Ah it's lunch break ." Chuuya pulled the two bentos he prepared the previous night when he couldn't sleep giving Dazai one and leaving the second to himself "You are right but then ... how am i supposed to know if he is a good husband or not ?"
Dazai suddenly pulled away, urging the ginger to look at him "You never thought 'Husband material !' when you are with me ?"
Chuuya needed a moment to process Dazai's words not realizing that he just answered the 'No .. ?' Dazai wished he never heard "Give me a second to go to that corner and cry ..."
"N-nooo ! That's not what i meant !!" Chuuya needed to use all his strength to keep the brunet there even though his lover seemed like a corpse with no soul inside "I .. i'm really sorry, i didn't mean to say that i just ... it's just that marriage sounds like something only grown ups do that's why .. i never thought of it ..."
Dazai looked at him, his soul still not back to his body "Then .. would you marry me when we grow older ?"
"I ..." Chuuya bit his bottom lip averting his gaze, here was his heart losing it again "Of course i would .. i thought this was obvious .." and what he thought would happen of course happened, Dazai rested his hand on Chuuya's cheek cupping it softly then leaning down giving his lover the gentlest kiss before they both look behind them finding no other than Kei there with his bento probably planning to have his lunch there but having his plans and mood and day ruined by these two "I hate you two so much !!"
"N-no Kei wait-"
"Let him leave, Chuuya !" Dazai held him back before he acts like he was chanting some curse "May he leave and never come back. May he leave and never come back. May he leave and-"
"Stop that, Dazai .." Chuuya gave him an annoyed look and Dazai knew he should stop being childish.
"So you won't stay here this afternoon ?" Dazai asked now that they headed downstairs, Chuuya nodded not expecting the brunet to suddenly have his arm over his belly "It hurts !! Gotta go to the infirmary !!"
"What- why ?? You mean there was a problem with my bento ???" Chuuya was more worried about that but still quickly followed him to the nurse office. Here again, Dazai surprised him as he told the nurse that he just didn't feel well and needed some rest and the second he was on the bed with the curtains separating them from the nurse, he was all over Chuuya again.
"What now ???"
"It's 'making out in the infirmary' time~"
"At least tell me beforehand,i thought there was something wrong with my bento .."
"So this is what you were worried about ?? How dare you, Chuu !!!!"
"I would have been an idiot if i didn't guess you were acting after all you have done today !"
"Yeah now shut up and come here ."
Dazai initiated a kiss between them and this time, Chuuya gave up, melting between his arms, Dazai's lips were gentle, he could tell what Dazai meant when he said their kisses were intoxicating, he felt intoxicated by those lips, he was afraid he might get addicted but he had to do his best not to let a sound out with the nurse there. They did realize they were being naughty but then ... when will they be naughty if it wasn't now ?
The nurse could totally tell what they were doing with the faces they wore but she was too lazy that she let them leave without saying a word about it.
"Are you satisfied now ?"
"I planned the PE and late afternoon classroom scenarios for this afternoon but we will have to skip them ..."
"You sure are greedy .. but where are you going ?" Chuuya pointed out as they already reached the portals "I got no reason to stay here if you're leaving, i'm going home, i already texted Odasaku about it ."
"And he agreed ?"
"I said i will be studying ."
"You- you are the wrost .."
"Bet he didn't believe, he just knows there is no use for me to stay here ."
"You should take your studies seriously .. if not for yourself then at least for Oda-sensei and all your family in Yokohama but also ..." Chuuya blushed looking away then up at him as he faced him now in the train station "Do it for me too .."
"That's not fair .. you know i can't refuse you a thing when you wear that face ..." Dazai wanted to cup his cheek, to pull him closer, they were just a feet away yet he felt like there was an ocean between them but he also knew Chuuya would kill him if he did that with all the people around.
"Wish me luck with my maybe future father and sister .." Chuuya grinned as he waved at him then took the train to his place before the next train arrives and Dazai takes it heading to his place too.
☆
"You look gorgeous dear ."
"You are the one who looks really beautiful ."
Mother and son both complimented each other, Chuuya for his formal attire with a simple white shirt, black pants, a smal light brown coat and a brown ribbon on his hair while Kouyou wore a black dress that reached her knees with arms of lace, black high heels, some beautiful jewelries, make up and hair down, she rarely lets her hair down.
After she wore her own coat, they took a taxi to where they were supposed to meet the father and daughter. It was in a traditional luxurious restaurant, they found the other two already waiting for them in a room that was all for them.
Chuuya took seat beside his mother facing the other two who introduced themselves as Izumi Seiji and Izumi Kyouka. After the formal greetings came the waitresses with their lunch that they ate while talking from time to time, only the elders were talking, the kids didn't speak unless one of the parents addressed them.
After a while, Chuuya figured he will never have the guts to ask the man any question, what was he even supposed to ask ? All he could tell for now was that Seiji seemed like a nice guy but he had to know more and decided to focus on the daughter for that as he suddenly addressed her "How about we give them some time on their own ?"
Kyouka looked for her father's consent before she follows him to the garden, she didn't seem like the talkative type but Chuuya had to try his best "What grade are you in, Kyouka ?"
"I'm graduating from middle school ."
"Ah just like me ! I'm graduating from high school though, i hope missing these afternoon classes is okay for you ."
"It is. We already had our tests and decided which high schools we will attend ."
"Which high school did you choose ?" Chuuya thanked any god out there who gave him the ability to deal with kids, they both went on the small bridge there leaning on it watching the water and red fish under them "I went for the closest to my place, it's the one all my friends will attend ."
"Ah then it must be the same one i'm going to, hopefully you will enjoy your three years there, if you need any advice then i'm here ." Chuuya grinned wanting to pet her head so bad at the shy smile she was wearing, Saya was right, she would make such an adorable little sister but then, he still had to ask the important question, the reason why he brought her here "How about our parents decision ? What do you think about them getting married ?"
"I ... i lost my mother when i was eleven, since then, father had to overwork himself for the two of us, i thought it was the natural thing to do back then but now i understand, he was afraid he might hurt me by bringing another woman as my mother so he made sure to wait until i grew older so that i could understand, i guess i really was a burden for him ..."
Chuuya remembered his talk with Dazai hours ago, they didn't seem to be the only ones who felt this way but then, her teary eyes broke his heart, Chuuya wanted to let her feel a little better "There is that too but then .. just as you lost your mother, don't forget that he lost his wife too, didn't he love her ?"
"He did, they loved each other so much ..."
"Then if he waited it was for himself too, so that he could recover from the pain of losing his loved one .. which also gave you the time you needed to grow and now that he judged both of you are ready, he brought this up ."
"I guess you are right .. all i know is that father deserves happiness and if his happiness is beside your mother then i have no objection ."
'She sounds so mature ..' Chuuya thought at the young girl's serious yet gentle tone "Same here, whatever makes her happy will make me happy too, she deserves the sweetest man in the existence .."
"Father is the sweetest man and he also deserves the sweetest woman in the existence ." Kyouka hushed making him chuckle "Guess they found each other then, you and your father are truly nice ."
"Father kept repeating how sweet the two of you were and he wasn't wrong ."
This time, Chuuya couldn't hold himself from petting her head thinking that their decision was already made before they both join their parents when the latters came to the garden waving at them.
Chuuya looked at them standing beside each other, at the way they interacted, the way they looked at each other, at Kyouka's smile when she stood between them, they would make a great family, he could tell but he still had one last question- or request as he looked up at the black haired man "Izumi-san, you know, i will graduate from high school this year and i actually applied for a University that is far from here .."
The three of them looked at him confusingly wondering what he wanted to say but Seiji still turned to face him properly wearing a gentle smile "That sounds great ."
"I'm not sure if i will be accepted but in case that happens, i will have to leave so ... would you take care of my mother when i won't be here ?" Chuuya felt like he put all his feelings into these words and the answer he got was more than he needed.
Seiji rested one hand on Kouyou's shoulder and the other on Kyouka's giving the ginger his softest smile "I will take care of them both when you are here and away so you can be at ease, Chuuya-kun ."
These words were more than reassuring for Chuuya, he was the one who sat in the front beside Seiji who drove them back to their place while his mother and little sister were in the back seats, they sure felt more comfortable around each other now as they talked and laughed together but nothing could equal the happiness Chuuya felt at his phone vibrating with Dazai's name on the screen, he had to end the call though but he quickly received a text from the brunet that said "I'm waiting for you in the park beside your place ."
Chuuya got impatient, the second they left the car and waved at the other two, Chuuya told his mother that he will be back soon and didn't wait to run to the park. His heart will never fail to skip a beat whenever his eyes lay on his love, his lover. Because it was night time he allowed himself to run into his arms hugging the brunet who couldn't get more confused yet still hugged back "What is it, Chuuya ? Did anything happen ??"
Chuuya nodded without pulling away which worried the brunet more than anything "What happened ??" But all he got was the cutest Chuuya looking up at him still in his arms wearing his widest grin that his dimples were showing "I missed you, that's what happened ..."
"You- you scared me ..." Dazai let out a long sigh resting his hand on his still fast beating heart now that Chuuya pulled away chuckling at him "But i will forgive you since you're looking so good, formal clothes really suit you, you are even wearing a ribbon ."
"I just look like my usual self .." Chuuya blushed at the compliment but still felt the happiest as they both took seats on the two swings in the park "So ? How did it go ?"
"Better than i expected, they were really nice ."
"Glad to hear that. So you got to talk with him and judge that he's the right one ."
"Well i didn't talk that much with him, i talked more with his daughter and well ... since i will be his son i can only judge him as a parent and at the way she talked about him, it was obvious that he was a caring one, now for him as a husband, i guess only mom can know that. I did think he was husband material though ."
Dazai wore a smile the whole time until he heard that last line, his annoyed look told a lot about his thoughts that Chuuya quickly guessed "N-no !! I meant husband material for mom !! But then .. as i watched them interacting together, something lacked ... i couldn't see the light in their eyes that i see in yours whenever you look at me ..."
"If you can see that light in my eyes then how come you didn't see it back when you rejected me and couldn't believe me ?" Dazai seemed to still be annoyed and Chuuya had no excuse "Don't bring that up now !! I was blind back then but now ..."
He stood up facing the brunet then leaning down to look directly in his eyes "Now i do see it ... i hope you can see that light in my eyes too ."
"Of course i do, it's clearer than water in your ocean eyes ." Dazai was about to drown in his eyes but he quickly closed his leaning in instead and even though they were in public and someone might have seen them, Chuuya didn't pull away, he also closed his eyes feeling that gentle pair of lips on his again, he lost count of how many kisses they shared this day but he wouldn't complain, if anything he wanted more, way more than this.
"As for your mother and that man not having that light ... i am still a teen so all i can do is guess but i do believe that, for grown ups, it isn't just about love, they do see and consider many other things that we can't even imagine as we are now ." Chuuya nodded to Dazai's words even though they made him feel kind of sad "We still have a long way to go ..."
"I will have to go home, i didn't bring Odasaku's car so i gotta go now that i still can find the train ." Dazai was now standing up with Chuuya's hands in his, he didn't want to let go "Make sure to call- or no- just text me when you're home since we won't call each other till you're done with your test ."
"I won't call .. i won't come either but in return, in the night before the day of my exam come to my place, okay ?"
Chuuya was surprised at him not complaining, now there is no way he could refuse his request, not like he wanted to "I will but till then, make sure to do your best ."
"I will. For Odasaku, for all my family, for you and for me too ."
After one last tight hug, each went on his way, Chuuya back in his place, found his mother already preparing the table, except there was only one meal "Go change your clothes then have dinner, i'm tired so i will directly go to bed ."
Chuuya was a little confused but still nodded about to leave till he heard her talk again "Chuuya-kun, what .. did you think about them ?"
"I .. i really liked them, they are so nice and sweet but, of course, the last decision is yours ."
"When you two left us, we did talk about some details and we decided that we will move to his place after we get married, i will also stop working ." She walked to him and Chuuya could tell that she already made her decision long ago but she did confuse him when she rested both hands on his cheeks pinching them "But you surprised me with your question in the end !! You sounded just like a man !"
"Well i AM a man .." he pouted at her while she only grinned "You are but for me you will always be my baby ."
He headed to his room after he wished her a good night changing his clothes and washing his hands but back downstairs, he stood at the table with that one meal that still bugged him. He decided to prepare another plate that he took with him to her room not wanting her to sleep without eating but he instently stopped when he heard quiet sobs.
He got closer to the door that still was a little open and that's when he saw her, sitting on her bed with an album full of pictures of her with her first husband who already left this world while droplets of tears fell from her eyes on those pictures.
Chuuya went back on his steps, he couldn't help but wonder how adults can do that, how they can fake smiles and happiness when they were so broken inside, how they act like they moved on when their hearts were still in the past.
But as he took seat at the table, a second thought crossed his mind, a thought he wished he never thought of 'If someday i will lose him .. will i be able to fake it like them .. will i ever be able to move on ?'
That night, Chuuya didn't eat his meal. He didn't sleep either. All he could do was stare at the last text Dazai sent him "I'm home now. Good night, sweet dreams and i will miss you a lot. Love you ♡"