Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Chapter Sixteen

Good Enough

Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough

“Are you eating well?”

Jinju turned around to face Akoya, who was sitting on one of the locker-room benches, still wearing her lacrosse outfit. Even though her hair had been held back with a headband, it seemed to be strewn wildly across her face. It wasn’t like her to be untidy.

“Yes?” Jinju muttered and Akoya gave her a piercing look.

“So where are your thighs gone?” Akoya insisted.

“It’s called dieting.” Jinju retorted. “At least I fit in these lacrosse clothes… I was afraid I’d have to let new ones made.”

Akoya sighed.

“Since when did buying new things become a problem?” She wondered.

“Yeah…” Jinju frowned. “Since when do I care?”

Akoya sighed again and started rummaging through her gym bag, trying to find the keys to her personal locker. But they seemed to have disappeared.

“I’m not used at having a damn place to keep my stuff anymore!” She exclaimed, turning the bag upside down on the floor. Stuff fell out, some of it with a loud clatter, and she winced. Jinju bent down to pick it up and then sat next to her, squeezing her arm.

“Calm down, Ako.” She said, softly. “I’m not used to being back at our old school either. Everything seems weird… and too big… The people are so… stuck up.” She stroked Akoya’s hair. “I hardly recognize my friends.”

“They’ve always been bitches, Jinju.” Akoya smiled. “You’ve just stopped being one yourself.”

Jinju sighed and smiled a little too.

“Maybe.” She confessed. “Still, don’t you notice the differences?”

“I do.” Akoya admitted. “Plus it’s really strange without Pearl. Sapphire has stopped being her usual cheerful self and Lapis… well… she’s skipping classes like crazy. I hardly ever see her…”

“Pearl…” Jinju sighed.

“I’m sorry.” Akoya muttered. “It must be hard… not having your best friend around…”

“I hope Empire City’s treating her well.” Jinju mumbled.

“She has our mothers watching over her…” Akoya said.

“That’s what scares me the most.” Jinju said, in a small voice.

The two of them moved closer and Akoya leaned her head on Jinju’s shoulder, gently reaching for her hand. She stroked her fingers slowly and sighed as Jinju rubbed her cheek against her blue hair. Her heart was beating too fast, something that had started again not long ago. This time they had spent the summer together – in Pearl’s absence – and Akoya couldn’t help but wonder if she had found her former feelings again or if they had never left in the first place. It was hard to tell, being together all of the time…

“Hey.” Jinju whispered, and she looked up. Akoya closed her eyes as she felt their lips touch and moved forwards to be wrapped up in her sweet embrace. For a moment they held each other but then they jumped apart as the bell rang.

“Late for class…” Jinju grinned.

“Y…Yeah…” Akoya wished her cheeks weren’t that red. “Why did you… suddenly…?”

“Spending some time at East Delma has made me realize that life is short and kisses are worth everything.” Jinju sighed. “Pearl’s basically taken over Pink’s lifestyle… what do you think will happen to us? My mother has been picking possible future husbands for years.”

“How then is one moment like this worth it?” Akoya asked, sadly. “We don’t have a future together, we never will…”

At that moment the door burst open and three of their classmates entered the changing rooms, wearing the school uniforms.

“What are you waiting for, Jinju?” The tallest one exclaimed. “Our group project is about to start!”

“I’m ready, jeez.” Jinju stood up, frowning.

“Don’t hurry her up, Obsidian; Akoya’s here to confess her love again.” One of the others giggled, and they ran away. Jinju followed them, sending Akoya an apologetic look.

The blue haired girl sighed again and stuffed everything in her locker, wondering how long it had been since last they had teased her about that moment she and Jinju had shared many years ago. East Delma had been a wild ride but at least nobody had ever judged her about her preference in dating. Akoya frowned and left the changing rooms, heading for her classroom. She had biology with Sapphire, who was sitting at their usual table, looking forlorn.

“Hey sis.” Akoya smiled and shoved a mars bar across the table. “I brought you a snack.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Sapphire mumbled in a tired voice. She started copying the contents on the LCD screen, never touching the mars bar. The teacher, on the other hand, walked over and scooped it up, frowning at Akoya.

“Miss Winkle, you are late again.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” Akoya stood up, defiant. “Send me to the principal? She’s in Empire City with my mother because Pink Amaranto collapsed and somehow you’re here worrying about my tardiness. Shut up or I will have you fired.”

The class looked away, a bit surprised. Everyone was used to Jinju acting like that but Akoya had always been the sensible one.

“East Delmarva must have really shaken her.” One of the boys muttered.

Akoya turned towards him, daggers in her eyes.

“I can have your family replaced at their job in a matter of minutes, so I’d advise you to shut up as well.”

As she sat down, Sapphire smiled for the first time in weeks.

“Did you switch bodies with Jinju?”

Akoya smiled.

“Jinju’s not the only one who can be a bitch.” She said.

“I guess Jinju would have fired them without a warning.” Sapphire muttered. “Remember when she ruined Tanzanite’s family business because she cheated during the sports festival?”

“Fucking good times.” Akoya sighed and grabbed her back. “I’m outta here, wanna come?”

“Where to?” Sapphire shut her laptop.

“Nowhere. Anywhere.” Akoya stood up. “Bye, teach…” She muttered at the astonished man. “See ya in Hell, probably!” And the two of them ran out of the classroom, laughing like crazy. They headed towards the parking lot, and got into the car.

“Boulevard?” Sapphire asked.

“Boulevard it is!” Akoya drove off, leaving a trail of dust behind them.

As they approached the tunnels leading towards the ring way, Sapphire stared at Peridot’s flat in the distance, a sad expression on her face. Akoya saw her looking and she sighed.

“Blocking everyone on Gradient was good.” She explained. “They agreed as well… it’s better if we at least try to convince our mothers that we’re not thinking about them… it’s for their own protection… Look at what happened to Jasper…”

Sapphire hung her head.

“Poor Jasper.”

                          *                      *                          *

Vidalia stared at the disenrollment papers in her hands and looked up at Jasper, whose facial expression she couldn’t read at all.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“Dead sure.” Jasper made an attempt to leave the office, but Vidalia stepped up quickly and placed herself between her and the door.

“Jasper…” She said, gently. “You have to tell me what’s going on.”

“With all the respect, Miss Vidalia… I don’t. I’m eighteen.” Jasper sighed and took a step backwards.

“Why are you throwing this away?” Vidalia muttered. “You passed! You have one year left… the school year has already begun… and you can stay for free.”

“That’s just it.” Jasper mumbled. “School may be free but the rest isn’t. My father has been jobless during the entire summer…”

“Oh no, Jasper…”

“… and the reason for that…” The big girl fought back the knot in her throat. “… is because our garage was rented from the… Diamond Industries… his cleaning job… was at their facilities… everything… They took it all away…” She looked at Vidalia. “… He’s not that young, they’re never going to contract him somewhere else… I have to do it. I have to work.”

Vidalia sat back down in her chair and buried her face in her hands. Jasper sat down in front of her and took her arm.

“It’s okay.” She said, gently. “You’ve done so much for me… for all of us.”

“I haven’t done enough.” Vidalia looked up and Jasper was shocked to see tears streaming down her face. “This year has been difficult… and surreal… and I should have been there for you.” She smiled a watery smile at Jasper, who pursed her lips in discomfort. “You were always so bright as a child… and after your mother… you just turned around.” Vidalia sighed deeply. “But when Pearl came… it seemed like the real Jasper was still inside you.”

Jasper winced at Pearl’s name and it was Vidalia’s turn to comfort her.

“You are bright, Jasper.” She said, patting her hair. “I can’t stop you from quitting school and taking on a job… but I do have a proposal for you.”

The big girl looked up, wondering what that was all about.

“I want you to come here after hours and I will personally coach you so that you can take your exams.” Vidalia said, firmly. “I’m not letting you go to waste just because our society is rubbish. You’re going to get there, Jasper. And you’re going to beat the system.”

The big girl smiled, feeling gratitude after the teacher’s words. Vidalia had always been good, but she didn’t know there was so much of it inside her.

“Thank you…” She mumbled. “I don’t really know what to say…”

“Just keep it quiet.” Vidalia smiled. “We don’t want anyone telling dear old Diamonds about you thriving.”

Jasper walked out of the office, feeling just a little better. She stopped for a moment in front of the classroom where the others were nodding off at a difficult history lesson, and looked at them through the small glass window in the door. She could make out Amethyst’s figure, hanging over her desk… Ruby, staring out of the window miserably… and Peridot, alone, in the front, copying down the notes. There was no energy in any of them. But there was no energy in her either.

As she said her silent goodbyes to her school life as she had known it, Jasper walked down the stairs and opened the messages on her phone. She checked many times a day now, but Pearl had not said anything else.

I love you.

Jasper sighed and scrolled down, revealing all of her own messages that depicted her futile attempts to communicate.

I love you too.

Did you land safely?

Are you okay?

Pearl, it’s been two days.

Are you alright?

Where are you?

I love you!

Why aren’t you answering.

Just tell me if you’re safe…

And so on, during the entire summer. Jasper had given up after a while, but she had never stopped checking to see if there was an answer. She just didn’t understand what was going on and why Pearl was ignoring her. And all of the possible reasons were too hard to accept.

*                      *                       *

Sapphire took a large bite out of her pretzel and made a satisfied sound.

“I haven’t had these in so long.” She moaned.

“No one’s been stopping you from getting these.” Akoya smiled, as she looked around Boulevard.

“I know, but still…” Sapphire walked over and sighed. “What time is it?”

“You worried about the time?” Akoya rummaged through her pockets in order to find her phone. “School’s been out for a while… we’ve been shopping here like the whole afternoon…”

“I see.” Sapphire craned her neck to look at Akoya’s phone. “Six already? That’s late…”

“Late for what? Nobody scolding us at home or at school tomorrow ‘cause we are who we are?” Akoya scoffed. “Come on, Sapphy… when’s the last time you had fun? Because to be honest, if we’re expected to ditch everyone we like and love, we might as well be assholes in general.”

“True.” Sapphire grinned. “Do you want to steal something from a store?”

Akoya giggled.

“Whatever. You pick.”

The two of them headed over to the nearest drugstore and snuck in, barely holding their laughter. They slumped down next to the makeup and stuffed a few items in their pockets.

“Do we just walk out now?” Sapphire asked.

“I don’t know, I’ve never stolen before!” Akoya hissed.

“So what? We just leave everything where it was?” The small girl muttered.

“Maybe best?” Akoya emptied her pockets in the shelves and so did Sapphire. They bought a couple of drinks and headed out, red in the face.

“Well that was pathetic.” Sapphire mumbled.

“I know!” Akoya sighed deeply. “I’m not even sorry about it, I just chickened out.”

“Well, think of the headlines… ‘WINKLES STEAL FROM DRUGSTORE’…” Sapphire sniggered. “Do you think mom would beat us up?”
“Maybe Yellow would…” Akoya sighed again. “Yellow totally would.”

They laughed and sat down on one of the benches that were placed sporadically across the mall.

“So many memories…” Sapphire sighed.

“I know…” Akoya muttered. “I shall never forget last Christmas, when I was locked up with Jinju, Amethyst and Jasper – who by the way – was dressed up like a sexy Santa.” She chuckled.

“Wish I could have seen that.” Sapphire giggled. “I know Lapis was stranded too and she had to sleep at Peridot’s…” Her voice broke and she bit her lip. “I miss Peridot so much.”

Akoya put an arm around her shoulder.

“It’s for the best.” She assured her. “We can protect them like this.”

“I know.” Sapphire sighed. “I just wish life was different.”

“I wish for that too.” Akoya mumbled. “But this is how it is. We just have to assume it.” She paused and then looked at her sister. “Jinju kissed me today.”

Sapphire’s eyes widened.

“Really?” She asked.

“Yeah…” Akoya nodded. “I never imagined that happening again, but it did and I honestly don’t know what to feel… I mean…” She cleared her throat. “… I do love her…”

“That’s all that should matter.” Sapphire said, firmly. “And yet… here we are…”

“Jinju and Pearl don’t have any siblings. All the pressure is on them.” Akoya muttered. “It’s basically Romeo and Juliet but then with more people.”

“And gay.” Sapphire added. “Very gay.”

“Speaking of that… how are you coping without Ruby?” Akoya asked, patting her head gently.

“It’s strange, but I feel her in my heart.” Sapphire said, softly. “You see, after Pink collapsed and we all went back to school, she and I had a talk… We decided not to see each other anymore – just like all the others – for her own protection, but…” She smiled at Akoya. “… she told me she’d never love anyone else. That I was the only one. And I feel that way as well, so I’m okay with whatever happens because I know that no matter where we are and who we end up with, she will always be my soulmate.”

Akoya shook her head and looked down.

“I know you think I’m naïve.” Sapphire said. “But knowing that provides the kind of comfort I need. There’s a person who loves me and I love them… is there anything more perfect?”

Akoya sighed.

“Maybe you’re right.” She muttered. “I wish I could take it that well.”

For a moment, they sat in silence, finishing their drinks. After a while, more people came drifting into the store as work shifts ended and the evening began. The lights in the stores became brighter in contrast with the darkening October sky and the restaurants started calling customers in for dinner.

It was then when Sapphire caught sight of a small blonde girl heading out of the supermarket, carrying a couple of bags. She stood up, legs trembling, and felt her heart sink as Peridot saw them too. Akoya grabbed Sapphire’s hand and stood up as well. For a while, they just stared at each other and then Peridot nodded at them, a sad smile spreading across her face. She then turned around, walking towards the other exit, never looking back. Sapphire hugged Akoya, who decided to take her towards the car.

“Let’s go home.” She whispered.

                                     *            *            *

Dear Lapis,

I saw your sisters today at Boulevard. Of course, I didn’t go near, I know I can’t. But it reminded me of something I can’t seem to shake off: that kiss we shared under the water such a long time ago. The reflection of the light above. The glister in your eyes. Yes, that’s what I thought about today. I know you won’t reply to this email either but it’s comforting to know I can at least share my thoughts.

Peridot sighed and shut her laptop, laying down on her bed. Painstricken, exhausted, she rubbed her ankle, something that had been bothering her of late. She hadn’t spoken with Lapis since before the summer, a deal which everyone in East Delma agreed to take. The small girl missed her every day but it was still comforting to know the decision had been mutual and that they hadn’t broken up or stopped loving each other… they just couldn’t be together at that moment, that was all.

She could still recall the moment of the decision, harsh like any other. Akoya and Jenny had shaken hands on the school grounds with everyone watching… everyone except Jasper and Pearl. There had been a few tearful hugs, but everyone had accepted it. It was for the best after all…

Lapis had locked her in her grip, for more than five minutes straight. Peridot had cried silently, not wanting anyone to notice, although they knew all too well. The blue haired girl had stroked her hair gently, comforting her with all her might, but even she couldn’t control her own emotions.

¨For a while, they just stared at each other...¨

“This is surreal…” Peridot whispered, rubbing her eyes. “Normal people like me don’t end up in situations like this… I’m hardly a Shakespearean character.”

But even though it seemed hard to believe, the Diamond Industries had made a great impact on the life of the East Delma teenagers… But none of the Chairwomen could have ever imagined how much the experience would change their own daughters as well.

Blue thought about it as she went through Pink’s bookcases, clearing out every last binder. She and Yellow had been re-organizing her study all summer, but it was a large office and there was a lot of confidential material only they could handle… Hiring someone to do it was far too risky…

Blue sighed and sat down in Pink’s chair, wondering how many more reports she’d get that week about her daughters skipping class. Lapis had been doing it none stop since the beginning of the semester, and now she had been given the news that Sapphire and Akoya had rudely walked out of class. Her own girls! Winkles nonetheless…

Blue was interrupted in the middle of her thoughts by Yellow, slamming the door open. She jumped and then groaned.

“Is there a possibility you could maybe not come in like a bloody hurricane every time you take a break?” Blue frowned, standing up and picking up a few papers which had been blown off the desk. Yellow grimaced.

“Try having a schedule like mine.” She retorted.

“Try yoga.” Blue shrugged. “And don’t pretend I do less than you.”

Yellow leaned on Pink’s desk, raising an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” She jabbed. “I’m carrying Pink’s responsibilities now, as well as my own. As well as the matters you can’t seem to resolve. That is a lot…”

“And who decided she wanted to do all that?” Blue walked towards Yellow and took hold of her hands. “You reap what you sow, sister.”

Yellow pulled back in disgust.

“Don’t call me that, I’m not your sister!” She nervously knocked over a vase that stood on the little table by the door and managed to catch it before it could hit the ground. Blue smiled.

“I know you’re strong and Pink is weak…” She said, softly. “But that’s no reason to overwork yourself, Yellow. Pearl is here – in Empire City – and you yourself said it was time for her to take over. Let her grab the reins and give her some freedom.”

Yellow frowned and looked at Blue, towering over her with her usual flair.

“I have Pearl sorting the family reports one by one with no assistance. I think that’s pretty much free reign.” She said, firmly. “Pink started like that too, and let me tell you! Pearl is a lot more focused than Pink ever was! Nevertheless, I can’t give her full responsibility yet… she needs to learn, just like all of us did.”

“She’s just a child, after all…” Blue agreed.

“Yes.” Yellow smiled. “Yes, she is. And that’s why she’s so valuable to the industries… Young, talented, pretty… and docile like Pink never was. The tabloids are going to eat her up when the time comes and… Blue! Just like with a new shiny product, our figures will rise.” She sighed. “I love Pink and I want her to get better but Pearl sure is promising.”

Blue nodded, silently. Something in Yellow’s tone of voice bothered her. Maybe it was her unbeatable talent to make profit out of every situation, even when someone dear to her was suffering. But what could one really expect from a chairwoman who constantly chose work over her own daughter?

“Is Jinju coming over soon?” Blue asked, and noticed she had caught Yellow by surprise.

“Why would she?” She asked.

“She’s your daughter… and we’ve been here in Empire City all summer… you two should catch up… ask her about how she’s finding her new school…”

Yellow laughed.

“New school?” She scoffed. “More like real school. East Delmarva was nothing more than a bad dream, to be honest. I’m glad that episode is over…”

Blue sighed.

“You’re still supervising the renewal though… Aren’t you tired?”

“Meh…” Yellow clutched the desk and ran her hand through the fake plant that hung above the clutter of papers.

“Maybe you should… let Jinju take over.” Blue suggested. “She’s intuitive and has supervised stuff before…”

“Don’t make me laugh.” Yellow smiled. “All Jinju cares about are her Gucci bags.”

“Is that really what you think?” Blue frowned.

“Do you know my daughter better?” Yellow stood straight and Blue took a step backwards, feeling the menace.

“I guess not.” She walked towards the door. “I’m going to take a break now. Maybe you should think about… you know… everything.” And she closed the door behind her, leaving Yellow pensive.

                                 *                 *                   *

Jinju stared at the ceiling as she was laying on her bed, rewinding that day’s little scene over and over again like a broken record. Had it been alright? Was Akoya okay? It hardly seemed fair after all those years of constantly pulling her close and pushing her away, but she had kissed her on impulse and with that she knew there were a lot of unsolved feelings yet to be dealt with.

Jinju checked her Gradient and smiled as an Akoya post came by. She was at Boulevard with Sapphire, a drink in their hands, and it had been captioned as: “epic loots at the drugstore”. Jinju snorted and liked the post, even though she knew the Winkle sisters had skipped class together. A little excitement on her Gradient was truly welcome; there hadn't been much of that since they had blocked everyone from East Delma…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call from an unknown number. She frowned as she swiped to the right in order to take the call.

“Jinju Ki speaking.” She mumbled.

“Jinju.” A low voice said. “Don’t hang up.”

“Jasper???” Jinju exclaimed. “I thought we had all agreed to…”

“I know.” Jasper interrupted her. “Just tell me one thing. Is she okay?”

Jinju sighed; she really didn’t know how to break it to her.

“I’m sorry, Jasper.” She muttered. “Pearl hasn’t been in contact with us since she left for Empire City.”

There was a long silence at the other end and Jinju wondered if she ought to say something. In the end, she mustered the courage.

“Jasper?” She whispered. “Are you okay?”

“No…” The big girl answered softly. “But that’s fine… I just need to know if Pe… if she’s okay.”

“I will tell you… if I know anything, I will call and tell you.” Jinju mumbled. “But don’t worry too much, okay? She’s just being kept rather busy by our moms. She’s Pink’s inheritor after all. They probably have her phone confiscated…”

Jasper sighed.

“Thank you.” She said. “Take care of the others. We miss you girls.” And she hung up, leaving Jinju with bittersweet feelings.

For it was nice to know that they were missed and even though they had decided to cut contact with each other for their own good, it still hurt immensely to lose some of the realest friendships they had ever felt.

Jasper herself wasn’t feeling that happy either. She left her phone on her desk and walked to the living room to find her father snoozing on the sofa in front of a baseball game. She turned the TV off and covered him with a blanket. Now that they had lost the garage, they were supposed to move out by the end of the month, which was devastatingly stressful for him, although he tried not to show Jasper. She sighed, knowing there had to be a better solution.

Jasper walked back to her room and switched on her father’s computer, an old thing where he had kept all of his accounts but fortunately, had internet. She opened her father’s email and searched for the contact she needed. She then copied it and pasted it into her own account so she could compose an email. She set the spell corrector on Greek, hoping it would help her, as she had never really had proper grammar lessons, and started writing.

When she was done, she got up and left the house, stopping by the garage to pick up her motorbike. She rode it all the way to ring way and then took the exit to uptown, stopping in front of a nice looking manor. She grimaced; Kevin’s house looked small compared to those of the Diamonds.

He was waiting for her outside the gate and walked towards her with his usual strut. Jasper sighed and got off.

“You came.” Kevin said.

“Yes, I did.” Jasper muttered. “Make it quick.”

“Fine.” Kevin pulled an envelope out of his waistcoat. “Here’s the cash. You can check if it’s all there.”

Jasper took the envelope and counted the money. She heaved a huge sigh and handed Kevin the keys.

“Treat her well.” She said, as Kevin stroked the motorbike with apparent glee spreading across his face. “She will run nice for you.”

Kevin looked at Jasper.

“I’ve always wanted this model.” He confessed. “I won’t crash it.”

“Good.” Jasper started walking away.

“Do you need a ride home?” Kevin asked.

“Nah.” The big girl waved him off. “I have plans and I plan to walk to those plans.” And with that she sped off, leaving Kevin slightly confused.

Jasper followed a small dirt path that led to a huge park. Most people avoided that after dark but not Jasper; it wasn’t hard for her to stop being mugged. She barged through until she reached the other side, which was quite close to East Delmarva. The big girl took out her phone started making a call.

Amethyst picked up after a few seconds, sounding confused and a little sleepy.

“Jasper?”

“Are you taking a nap?” The big girl smiled.

“Well I was…” Amethyst sighed. “What’s up?”

“I… need to ask a favor.” Jasper said, softly.

“Anything.” Amethyst mumbled.

“I need a place to crash for a while.” Jasper looked around, fearing the worst. Somehow asking people to live with them was hard.

“Like… a couple of days?” Amethyst asked.

“Maybe a little longer than that.” Jasper closed her eyes, fearing the worst.

“I’ll ask my mom.” Amethyst put her phone down and Jasper waited in the park, feeling scared. Amethyst was close to her only hope right now… Most of the gang didn’t really have the space to store another human. She waited patiently for her friend to come back and after a while, Amethyst’s voice could be heard again.

“Hey Jasper, mom says yes.” The big girl heaved a sigh of relief. “But she’s worried about you having to sleep on an air matrass…”

“That’s fine with me.” Jasper smiled. “Please don’t worry about that, I’m so grateful…”

Amethyst smiled and hung up. She looked around her room and sighed, wondering if she could manage to clear some of the mess before Jasper arrived. She scanned the surroundings quickly, grabbing a few plates and cups with her on the way, but decided it was too much to clear in just a short amount of time. Giving up, she pulled the air matrass from the top of the cupboard and threw it on the floor next to her bed, squashing a few CDs while she was at it. It was fine, Jasper wouldn’t mind the mess.

It wasn’t long before she arrived. Amethyst walked over to the door and let her in, squeezing her shoulder tightly as she crossed the threshold. Jasper sighed and left her bag in her room.

“What’s going on?” Amethyst asked, closing the door behind them.

“I think you know.” Jasper answered.

“The Diamond Industries are forcing you guys to move out… your father lost his jobs…” Amethyst muttered.

“And I have to stay here…” Jasper sighed. “For personal reasons… I can’t share those with you, because I made a promise… But I’ll let you know as soon as I can, okay?”

Amethyst sighed.

“Okay.” She mumbled.

“I need to call my dad.” Jasper stood up and left the bedroom, leaving Amethyst confused. She trusted her friend but felt taken for granted. She was staying in her house now but she wasn’t allowed to know why? Amethyst shook her purple locks out of her face, a frown starting to show on her brow.

There had been a time when Jasper had shared everything with her, even in those difficult months after her mother had passed. She had shut down everyone completely but not her. Because they were best friends. Slowly, Jasper had gotten used to a different life again, and Amethyst knew it had been because of her. But even though Jasper had assured her time after time that they were best friends, everything had changed when the Diamond Industries took over the school and they met their daughters.

Why on Earth was Pearl so important? What had she done to earn the number one spot in her friend’s heart? Amethyst sighed and pulled a pillowcase over one of the cushions she had on her bed. Whatever was going on with Jasper, she might as well give her a chance… Another one.

Meanwhile, Jasper’s heart was beating fast as she dialed her father’s number. As he picked up, she closed her eyes, knowing it was going to be hard.

“Dad?” She muttered.

“What’s up, agapité mou?” He switched to Greek, sensing the tone of her voice.

“This may seem weird but you should go live with uncle Iorgos.” She mumbled. “Right now there’s nothing you can do here… the Diamond Industries control Beach City completely.”

“I was thinking about that too.” Her father admitted. “My brother offered us to stay with him as well…”

“I…” Jasper’s voice broke.

“You’re not coming with me, are you?” He said, quietly.

Jasper wiped away a tear.

“No.” She whispered with all the strength she could master.

There was a little pause. Then, her father spoke.

“It’s okay. You do what you have to do. I’m very proud of you and I know you’re staying here for a reason... I won’t stand in your way to happiness.”

“Dad…” Jasper said, still in a broken voice.

“Listen to me.” He said, firmly. “You are way too bright to waste away your future. I’ll be fine. Now go live your life. We’ll see each other soon.”

Jasper cried silently as she hung up, leaning against the wall of the corridor. She knew it had to happen, but it was hard all the same. From now on, her father wouldn’t be able to take care of her anymore and she’d have to fend for herself. They had been together for many years, supporting each other through thick and thin, and now it was over. They had to part ways.

Amethyst approached her quietly and held her arm. Jasper tried to quickly dry her eyes but her friend leaned her head on her shoulder.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s okay to cry.” She said, softly.

“You overheard?” Jasper asked.

“Kinda. Your dad’s moving in with your uncle… the one who lives five hours away, right?”

Jasper nodded.

“That’s tough.” Amethyst sighed.

They stood like that for a while, no energy left to speak. Jasper let herself cry in a quiet manner, trying to calm down on her own way, but it was hard. In a short amount of time, she had lost two people who were important to her. One was her dad; the other, was Pearl.

                                 *                 *                   *

The fire cracked slightly in the marble fireplace, and Akoya stared at the flames as she was curled up on the couch. Sapphire had long gone to bed and she had heard the maids shuffle into their chambers as well. She sighed as her phone buzzed and she checked her messages. Jinju had sent her something via Gradient. It was a sleazy selfie with a caption:

Sleep tight.

Akoya chuckled and sent a GIF back. Jinju responded with another selfie, this time with her hair loose and Akoya smiled, typing back:

Are you trying to seduce me?

Jinju sent yet another selfie, revealing half a shoulder.

Maybe?

Akoya laughed and was about to write back when she heard the front door. She looked up and then quickly typed a message.

Talk to you later, Jinju. I think Lapis came home.

She left her phone on the couch and sat up straight, waiting for Lapis to enter the living room, which she did shortly after.

“Hey stranger.” She mumbled and Lapis looked up.

“Ako.” She smiled a little and sat down on the couch beside her. “What you up to?”

“I could ask the same…” Akoya smiled. “What have you even been doing all these days?”

Lapis chuckled.

“Nothing out of the ordinary… just hanging.”

“Just hanging? Not at school, for sure…” Akoya frowned.

“Yeah well… I heard you skipped class today.” Lapis grinned. “With Sapphy too… That’s metal.”

“You’re metal.” Akoya sighed. “Anyway, it’s good to see you again. Even if we live in the same house, you’re always out.”

Lapis stared in front of her, looking melancholical.

“I need to distract myself.” She muttered. “I miss her a lot.”

“I know.” Akoya sighed. “But she loves you and you love her. I think that’s comforting at least…”

“Even though we’ll eventually have to move on?” Lapis winced. “I want Peri in my life, I can’t help it.”

“You haven’t been in contact, have you?” Akoya asked. Lapis shook her head.

“As much as I want to… She needs to be given the freedom of moving on. It’ll help if I don’t reply to her emails.”

“She emails you?” Akoya asked.

“Every day.” Lapis answered sadly. “And I feel the pain every single day.” She stood up. “I’m going to bed, Ako. You should too.” And she walked upstairs, her lips trembling. Akoya stood up and went upstairs as well, shutting herself up in her own bedroom. She wished she could help Lapis, but they had all made the decision together. No more hurting the East Delma girls… they all knew what their mothers were capable of.

Akoya checked her messages again, revealing another selfie from Jinju. This time her hair was strewn across her chest, making it impossible to tell if she was wearing anything at all.

Hurry back.

Akoya snorted and threw her phone away from her, red in the face. What was Jinju playing at? She grabbed her phone again and typed back:

Okay, time to stop.

Jinju’s answer came soon enough:

Are you sure you want me to?

Akoya sighed and lay back against the pillows, her heart beating fast. What was Jinju implying with those messages? Was she really trying to seduce her? She felt like she had to make a decision between risking everything or nothing. Akoya typed back:

I don’t know.

Jinju answered quickly:

What are you afraid of?

Akoya muttered a little under her breath.

Everything?

Jinju typed back quickly:

Don’t be.

Akoya turned bright red as she received another picture, this time of Jinju looking over her shoulder with a bare back.

Did you make one of the maids take these pictures or something?

Jinju responded:

Please. Did you really think I didn’t have a camera with a timer? I make selfies for a living, practically.

Akoya chuckled.

That’s true.

Jinju remained quiet for a while and Akoya sighed, still red in the face. Her heart was pounding and her mouth felt dry, but she didn’t completely dislike the feeling. Something about this was exciting, even though she couldn’t explain why. Somehow, she found herself taking a selfie as well and sent it to Jinju. Her response didn’t take long to come:

I… Ako. You actually took a selfie.

Akoya smiled.

I can do that as well.

Jinju wrote back:

Oh?

Akoya chuckled and hugged her knees. It was so warm and comfortable in her room, and she felt happy that Jinju was speaking with her. She drew the covers over her head and pressed “video call”, hoping it wasn’t a stupid idea. But Jinju picked up immediately.

“Well hi.”

“Hi.” Akoya smiled.

“Miss me?” Jinju grinned.

“Don’t be so cocky, it doesn’t suit you.” Akoya chuckled.

“Doesn’t it, though?” Jinju muttered, quite smoothly and the blue haired girl couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, alright… it does.” She sighed. “It does…”

Jinju pressed her nose against the screen, almost as if she was trying to get through a barrier of some kind, which made Akoya smile even brighter.

“I wish I were there with you.” Jinju whispered.

“You live next-door, though.” Akoya raised an eyebrow.

“Yes but my friends are here and they’d probably think it weird.” Jinju sighed.

“So why are we calling? Go hang with them.” Akoya scowled.

“It’s about the group project. I’ve already finished my part and it’s really boring…” Jinju mumbled. “So now I’m in my room waiting for them to leave.”

“That’s sad.” Akoya snuggled against the pillows. “Maybe if you go to bed, they’ll leave.”

“Nah… I was actually planning on taking a bath while I wait.” Jinju sniggered. “In fact… wanna chat with me while I do so?”

Akoya frowned.

“Wait, you want to video chat with me while you’re in the bathtub?” She asked, surprised and a little shocked.

“What, do you think my body is ugly?” Jinju scowled and Akoya laughed.

“No, I mean… go ahead…”

Jinju smiled and stood up. Akoya watched as she picked up a bathrobe and some underwear, hardly daring to breathe. She witnessed Jinju walking through her room towards her private bathroom and locking the door behind her. Her heart was beating fast…

Jinju started to run a bath and made it foamy real quick, throwing in soaps and salts. Akoya shut her eyes tightly as she started to undress and didn’t open them until she heard water splashing.

“I’m already in, you idiot.” Jinju chuckled and Akoya turned red. She looked so damn attractive with her damp hair over her face and her shoulders glistening just above the foamy layer of bath salts…

Jinju sighed and pushed her hair backwards.

“You seem comfortable.” Akoya smiled.

“All I need is a glass of wine and a book… And maybe change my name to Karen.” Jinju laughed. “Perfect wine mom.”

“You don’t really look like a wine mom.” Akoya muttered.

“I’m too gay for that.” Jinju said casually, but Akoya almost choked. She started coughing violently and the girl frowned. “Are you okay?”

Akoya nodded, blinking away a few tears.

“It’s just… I love it when you admit it.” She smiled.

Jinju looked surprised and then she laughed as well.

“Only to you.” She smiled sadly.

“It shouldn’t be that way…” Akoya muttered. “You should be able to be yourself.”

“I don’t need you to tell me that.” Jinju scowled.

“And yet here you are… talking to me while your friends are downstairs.” Akoya sighed. “You shouldn’t take it lightly.”

“I don’t.” Jinju looked at her. “There’s no one I’d rather be taking a bath with than you.”

Akoya turned bright red and hid her face in the pillows, making Jinju laugh.

“Don’t be shy!” She exclaimed. “I thought you liked me…”

Akoya looked back at the screen and saw Jinju smiling, and blushing as well. She brought her phone closer to her face, feeling brave all of a sudden.

“I like you a lot.” She confessed, quietly. “There’s no one I’d rather take a bath with than you either…”

“Don’t be shy!”

Jinju drew closer to the screen as well.

“Then don’t.” She said.

“Hm?” Akoya asked.

“Let’s not take any baths with other people. Ever.” Jinju’s tone of voice had turned serious and she had an honest look in her eyes. “Do you think you could do that?”

Akoya sighed.

“We’re not talking about baths anymore, are we?”

“Could you do that?” Jinju insisted. “Leave everything? ‘Cause I can and I’m ready.”

Akoya was taken aback but tried to regain her composure.

“You’d give it all up?” She asked.

“I would.” Jinju looked at her sternly. “But I need to hear it from you as well.”

Akoya smiled.

“I already did.” She said. “I was ready to become a stranger to the world I was born in from the moment we first kissed.”

Jinju smiled, a small tear running down her cheek.

“Then let’s fly away together.” She said, softly. “You and me.”

“You and me.” Akoya repeated, and her heart skipped a beat.

*                 *                   *

Yellow stared out of the window, looking at the sun rising over Empire City. She took a sip of coffee and left her mug on the table beside her, wondering what time it was. Just as she was about to check, Blue came through the door. She looked at the mug and smiled, picking it up.

“Best Mom.” She said. “Cute.”

“Jinju gave it to me when she was eight.” Yellow chuckled. “I think it was a bribe for me to come home more often… not that it helped.”

Blue stared at her and then sighed.

“You’re not exactly the best mom in the world…” She mumbled. “But you are a wonderful CEO.”

“I am.” Yellow smiled.

They both stared out over the city for a while and then Yellow turned to Blue.

“I’m going back to Beach City today.” She said. “Take care of Pearl for me.”

Blue raised an eyebrow.

“What are you going to do there?” She asked. “There’s nothing to do…”

“There’s a fundraiser I need to organize.” Yellow sighed. “I can’t let Jinju handle that.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s not doing anything right now.” Yellow scowled. “Her fencing skills have diminished almost completely and she’s receiving poor school reports. So yeah, she’s not exactly behaving like a pride and joy.”

Blue shook her head.

“You’re far too hard on her.” She muttered.

“I expect her to be strong and independent, not a child anymore.” Yellow sighed, drawing her shoulders up.

“You expect her to be an exact copy of you.” Blue put the mug down and walked towards the door. Then, she turned around. “But there can only be one Devil.” And she left, leaving Yellow speechless.

The sun had already risen over Beach City when it was Jinju’s turn to wake up. She got up quickly and headed towards her dresser to pick an outfit for the day. Her inspiration was gone the moment the doors opened so she grabbed a training suit and pulled that on, looking at herself in the mirror. She noticed her style was leaving her more and more and she hated herself for it, but she just couldn’t find the energy to keep up appearances anymore. All of her clothes just seemed to look horrible on her – probably because she had gained a few pounds – and it didn’t seem worth posting online anymore. Jinju sighed and left the house, knowing she might as well go out for a run as she was already dressed for it.

She started jogging across the hills that separated the uptown with East Delmarva and sighed, feeling her muscles ache every step.

“You’re such a moron.” She told herself, biting her lip and running on. “It seems you’ve lost all of your stamina now too… Better get those pounds off before you… before you…” Jinju looked up. “Why am I talking to myself?” She stopped as everything went dark for a moment and she dropped to her knees, wondering if her heart was going to pop out of her chest. She grabbed the fresh earth beneath her with her hands to keep her shoulders from shaking but it didn’t work. Fortunately, her sight came back after a while and she looked up into the morning sun.

“Please.” She muttered. “Just let me die now. I’ll be fine then… no one will be disappointed in me anymore… and mostly, I won’t be able to hate myself again…”

She stood up and looked over the city, tears running down her cheeks. Her mother would never see her as someone with potential… She and Akoya would never be allowed to be together… and even if they would run away together, she would ruin her life in some way or another. There was no turning point there…

Jinju walked home, barely holding herself up. There weren’t any words to describe the emptiness she was feeling at that moment, and even though a few things in her life could make her smile, everything had gone terribly downhill without Pearl or the East Delma gang. It was about them that she thought when she arrived home and closed the bathroom door behind her. As she ran a bath, she smiled thinking of Akoya’s face last night. There had been so much love and trust in her eyes, it was almost a shame to never see that again. Jinju swiped her phone open and sent a small text:

Ako, I really love you. I’m so sorry.

She switched off her phone and left it on the sink. She took a deep breath and stepped into the bath, shuddering as the warm water touched her body. As she sank deeper and deeper into a peaceful sleep, she could hardly feel the pain that tainted the water red anymore… Life was finally good.

*                 *                   *

Yellow stood motionless in the living room as the stretcher came by, carried by the ambulance technicians. Her daughter’s face looked so peaceful and yet… Yellow sighed as one of the workers wrapped a shock blanket around her.

“I won’t be needing that, thank you.” She dropped it on an armchair. “Just do your job and get her to the ER as soon as possible.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The workers carried on and soon the ambulance had left towards the hospital, sirens ablaze. Yellow took a small moment to look at the maids and then stepped forwards.

“EVERYBODY OUT!” She bellowed and they scurried away. It was then when Yellow permitted herself to sink down onto the armchair and bury her face in her hands. She had no idea how long she sat there when she finally felt a hand on her shoulder. Yellow looked up and saw Blue standing over her, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry.” She said. Yellow grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a hug so they could hold each other. “How is she?”

“She’ll live.” Yellow muttered, all energy having left her body. “Blood loss was heavy but they can fix that.”

“I wonder if they can fix her pain too.” Blue muttered, burying her face in Yellow’s neck. “You want to go over?”

“Yes.” Yellow got up and they walked towards the car. They drove for a while to reach the hospital.

Blue looked at Yellow as they were on their way.

“I didn’t tell Pearl.” She mumbled. “She has enough on her slate right now.”

“Thank you.” Yellow sighed. “She must focus on her work. Can’t get distracted.”

“Yellow…” Blue muttered.

“Hmmmm?”

“This isn’t your fault.” She said.

Yellow sighed again and pulled over in front of the hospital.

“Of course it isn’t.” She said, getting out and slamming the door. “Let’s go inside.”

They walked inside towards the private section the Diamond Industries had in the building and when they arrived at the right door, Yellow peered through the small window. Jinju was laying in bed, hooked up to an IV and with bandages around her wrists. Yellow experienced a painful pang in her chest and wondered if she’d have to get her heart checked. The tightening sensation got even worse as she saw her daughter open her eyes and look at her directly. Unable to bear it, Yellow walked away, leaving Blue behind, who stared at her sadly.

She entered herself and sat down on the bed, smiling at Jinju, who started crying.

“I’m so sorry.” She said. “I disappointed all of you… again.”

“Hey.” Blue stroked her hair. “It’s okay… your feelings have been undermined for a long time… Let me have a talk with the doctors, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Jinju nodded and Blue got up, heading for the door… but before she could open it herself, her three daughters stormed in and ran towards the bed. Blue smiled and left, knowing Jinju was in good hands.

“YOU MORON!” Lapis slapped her across the face and Jinju started crying even harder. Sapphire was quick enough to hit Lapis back and then hug her.

“Why did you do this?” She was crying as well. “We love you so much…”

“I love you all too… I just… it felt like… I don’t know…” Jinju wiped the tears off Sapphire’s face and looked at Akoya, who was standing beside the bed, expressionless. “Ako?”

“Don’t Ako me.” She said, coldly. “You promised we’d fly away together. Whatever happened.”

“I did.” Jinju hugged both Lapis and Sapphire at the same time. “But something came over me and I just…”

“I know I should try to understand but I can’t.” Akoya sat down on the bed and joined the hug. “I can’t imagine living without you.”

Jinju let go of Lapis and Sapphire and kissed Akoya right on the lips.

“You are my one and only true love.” She said. “But I’m not in the position to love anyone right now. It will be a long path for me.”

“I know.” Akoya smiled. “But I’ll be there at your side, supporting you. If you’ll have me…”

“Always.” Jinju kissed her again, leaving Lapis and Sapphire dumbfounded.

“Okay, that’s new…” Sapphire frowned.

“Is it though?” Lapis raised an eyebrow.

It was then when the door burst open again, revealing Amethyst in the opening.

“GIRL WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?????” The purple haired girl entered the room. “IF YOU EVER TRY TO KILL YOURSELF AGAIN I SWEAR… I’LL KILL YOU FIRST!!”

“Amethyst.” Jinju hugged her tightly. “How did you…?”

“We all received a message.” Jasper appeared at the door, and so did the rest of the East Delma gang. “I believe it was Sapphire who broke the no-contact rules and send us a mass text.”

Jinju sat up straight and started sobbing.

“You guys…” She cried.

Jasper came closer and hugged her tightly.

“We’re all here.” She said. “And we’re not leaving you again. We’re the East Delmarva gang and you guys will always be a part of it.”

Jinju sobbed as the gang hugged her one by one, and she couldn’t help but wonder – for a minute – about how great life could be as well. Even though those moments were rare, one couldn’t expect to be happy every hour of the day and sad moments made the happy ones so much more worth it. Jinju felt afraid, ashamed, guilty and worried about what she had done to herself, but that small moment where people showed her that they actually cared… that made her know it was alright to try and go on. Life was precious if shared with others, even if it was hard to see. But she’d work on it and it would get better. She knew it would.

Lapis moved towards Peridot as the rest spoke with Jinju and grabbed her hand. The small girl looked at her, tears in her eyes.

“I read your emails.” Lapis muttered.

“Why didn’t you reply?” Peridot mumbled.

“We had a deal.” Lapis looked at her. “I thought everything would be fine for you if I was out of your life. But yeah… look how great that went for Jinju…”

“So…?” Peridot mumbled.

“So I’m sorry.” Lapis held her close. “Splitting up was the worst decision we ever made.”

“Hear hear.” Amethyst said. “From now on, we stand together, no matter what. We’re complete again.”

Jasper looked out of the window, melancholically.

“No we’re not.” She muttered.

*                 *                   *

As Jasper and Amethyst walked home that night, the big girl sighed and stopped in her tracks.

“I know, I know.” Amethyst smiled. “You’re going to Empire City.”

“How did you…?” Jasper frowned.

“Just a guess.” Amethyst grabbed her arm. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure.” Jasper nodded.

“What if…?” Amethyst paused. “What if you don’t like what you see?”

Jasper smiled and stared at the white light of the moon above them.

“I just want to bring her home.” She said.

The cold autumn wind spun around them, lifting their hair up as it passed. They both zipped their coats up till their neck and walked on, a couple of shadows under the moonlight with big plans ahead. There was no knowing what Jasper would encounter in Empire City, but she trusted it was going to be alright. Because it was Pearl, her Pearl, and she was going to see her again. Her one and only.