Chapter Text
The air is cold against Dedue's face, but it is not surprising considering the sun is barely raising at the horizon.
He checks one more time that the horses are well attached to the carriage, before it is time to go. He did not have the occasion to see Dimitri this morning. He must still be sleeping, resting as he should. Dedue doesn't want him to wake just for him, but he cannot ignore the pang of disappointment he feels in his chest. He doesn't know when he will be back. A week, in the best case scenario. But he must not feel this way. It is better for his friend to rest.
When he turns away from the horses and to the way to the palace, he sees a figure approaching at a fast pace. Dedue feels... hopeful, and happy. Too much to really feel guilty when Dimitri stops in front of him, catching his breath.
“Dimitri.” Dedue says, but his tone is not as scolding as it should.
“You're... leaving.” Dimitri states, as though it was enough to justify the way he rushed to the stables the moment his eyes opened.
Dedue probably understands the way he feels. He doesn't want to go without him either. But he does want to go. He does want to finally give Duscur back to its people. “I will be back soon.”
Dimitri nods. “Write me. When you get there.”
“Of course.”
Dedue can see in his friend's eye something held back. Dedue feels the same. Because he wished they could have gone together. It was their dream, their promise. It would only have been natural to finalize it together. But the duties of a king are merciless. Especially in a time as confusing as the organization of an entirely new territory. The situation that keeps his friend in Firdhiad worries him, and he suddenly fears that it will make him so busy that he will forget to take care of himself, without Dedue by his sides.
“Good luck with the Empire Village situation. But please do not strain yourself.” He asks. “Remember to eat correctly and that it is okay to take breaks if you feel tired.”
A smile tugs on the corner of Dimitri's mouth. His friend is always thinking about him and his well-being. He doesn't think he can disobey him now, if he cares so much about it. “I will.”
Dedue nods, satisfied with his friend's words. But there is still something holding him right there, in front of him. Unmoving even as the carriage's door is open, waiting for him to climb inside to begin its long road. He tries to think, remember what he could have forgotten to say to Dimitri. He understands that it is not something to say but something to do, when he notices his friend's nervous twitches of his hands kept at his sides. Something that is natural for friends to do when they part for an undefined period.
“Goodbye then.” Dedue takes one more step forward, entering Dimitri's space with his arms open. His friend's quick reaction is a clear enough confirmation about what he thought he wanted to do but did not dare. Dimitri slides his arms around his back and pulls him close in a goodbye embrace. Dedue feels his chest lighten and in a short moment he lets he chuckle escape his lips. “You know you are allowed to hug me without waiting for me to initiate.”
“I...” Dimitri begins, his chin resting on Dedue's shoulder, but he seems to change his mind in the middle of his sentence. “I will know for next time.”
Dedue holds him close for a moment longer, until he feels that he waited too long to go. The carriage is still waiting for him. Duscur is still waiting for him. He slowly pulls away from his friend's arms.
But Dimitri lets his hands rest on his chest and his eyes wonder over his body, a frown appearing on his forehead. “You did not take your armor with you?”
The question takes Dedue by surprise. He used to think that it was best that he does not wear it. It was part of the years they spent fighting. Part of the past. But what surprises him the most are his friend's hands staying on him. “No, I have it. It's packed in the chest.”
“It wont protect you from there if your get attacked on the road.” Dimitri argues, and all Dedue can do is frown. Before his reaction, Dimitri is quick to deflect. “I'm... I'm sorry. I'm being paranoid.”
There is too much hurt flashing in his eye when he apologizes and takes his hands off his chest.
“No, I understand...” Dedue tries to, and he can without any difficulties. Now that he thinks about it, it will be the first time that they will be apart since... Since Dimitri, and himself, thought him dead. As much as he wishes the memories would stop hurting his friend, there is little he can do about it, except assure him that nothing like this will happen again.
He lets his hand settle on Dimitri's shoulder, a gesture he wants comforting for him. But he rapidly finds it as comforting to himself. “I will be careful, I promise.” His hands run down his shoulders one last time before definitely parting their bodies.
Dimitri smiles up to him, this time without worry. “Travel safely my friend.”
They are the last words they exchange, before Dedue turns around and climbs into the carriage almost too small for his frame. He gives Dimitri one last small smile before he closes the door and the coachman urges the horses to begin their ride. Dimitri stays on the side of the road and watches him go, something twisting in his chest at the sight of the carriage becoming smaller and smaller at the horizon. It is not worry, he doesn't think so. He knows that Dedue will do perfectly on his own. He has all of his trust, and the trust of the people of Duscur. No, it is a much more selfish feeling that creeps its way in his chest. But he does not want to address it. Not as there are more important and urgent things to be done.
Three days pass, during which Dimitri cannot help but fear for his friend. He knows it is irrational. He made sure that his kingdom was safe. He organized himself the patrols to secure the roads, especially the one going to Duscur. He knows he has no reasons to wake up at night in a sweat, his heart beating so loud because he thinks Dedue never escaped Cornelia eight years ago. For a moment, he was never rescued by his brothers and he is forever gone. And Dimitri cannot even stand up from his bed to walk bare feet on the cold floor of the castle to Dedue's room, not caring about anything because he only needs to be sure.
Dedue is not hurt. He is safe. Even if he is away from him. He knows he has no rights to feel this way when he is not by his side. Dedue is probably doing a perfect work on his own. Dimitri would hate to not do the same on his side. He wants to give him good news when he can finally communicate with him again. For that reason he dives in his work, gathering as many information that he can about that village in the former Empire territory and the best ways to settle pacifically a rebellion. He can only do his best and try to gain its people's faith. But that is far from an easy thing to do.
But finally, the morning of the fourth day, a messenger knocks on the door of his office with a letter for him. He almost takes it from his hands as soon as he sees the paper, but he manages to pace himself. This could be a letter from anyone. He politely thanks the messenger for his hard work and asks him to keep around because he might have another letter for him to send back in a few moments.
Dimitri opens the seal and he knows it is Dedue's letter the moment he lays his eyes on the carefully crafted cursive writing of his friend. He was always so dedicated in each and every one of his tasks. But Dimitri does not intend on staying here admiring his friend's penmanship. He sits as his desk and reads the letter, trying to stay perfectly calm only reading the first two words, his deep voice ringing so clearly in his mind.
“Dear Dimitri,
The trip was uneventful. We arrived just as I am writing this letter, in the planned time. The Duscur village is a calm place, filled with strong warrior and welcoming faces. So please do not worry for my safety. I was advised to recover from the journey for today to begin the work tomorrow. I believe I will begin the work the moment you receive this letter.
There are a lot more people than I anticipated. Many of them wanted to greet me at my arrival. Most of the survivors we found are here, but I did not expect all of them to want to participate in the final act of the liberation of their lands. I suppose I forgot how Duscur always worked as whole and that it simply could not be decided aside from all of it people.
Your absence was noticed, but everyone understood the situation when I explained it. I believe I have their trust. I recognize some of the duscur soldiers we helped all these years ago with the professor and our old Academy class. They told the tale of how we helped them and that I can be trusted to carry yours and their words.
I should not hide from you that I do feel nervous. The task that is resting on my shoulders makes me feel a lot of pressure and I am not sure to be ready without you by my sides. But know that I will do anything to carry our work to fruition.
So please, on your side, do not forget to pace yourself. I know your task as a king is of great importance but I'm asking that you do not skip any meal and that you sleep full nights. It will only help you to be full of energy to better help your people.
Take care.
Dedue.”
Dimitri sees Dedue fitting perfectly amongst his people, working all together to give Duscur and its people the bright future they deserve. Of course he would prefer to watch it with his own eyes, but he feels so proud all the same. He is not surprised to read that Dedue already has their trust. If one man can be trusted with this task, it is him. Maybe it was a good thing, then, that Dimitri could not go with him. Dedue will work for the best for Duscur and the united kingdom of Fódlan equally, he is convinced.
But the few last lines has him reconsider his own opinions. He is happy that his friend is so honest to openly share his worries with him, but it makes him feels the distance painfully real. He wishes he could join him and tell him that he is doing perfectly, that he has nothing to worry about. But as he cannot say it to him directly, he can still write back to him. So he takes a piece of paper, his quill, and begins to write his reply immediately.
Dedue thinks he never felt so exhausted before. He has been working with the duscurians for only two days, but the list of problems to fix seems endless. He wish they could have known about all of these earlier, but he supposes the occasion to speak of them directly with someone working in Firdhiad was the best moment to bring them up. His fingers were never so tired before, because of all the paperwork he has to do. His entire body is sore from staying in the same room talking with people all day long and writing official documents and his head is buzzing with a persistent headache he doesn't seem to be able to chase away.
But when he arrives in front of the house that he was graciously given for the time of his stay here, he sees a young woman with dark skin and blonde hair, visibly waiting for him. He thinks he recognizes her. She was one of the first people to welcome him. She presented herself as Ada, the messenger of the village. She was the one who helped the communication between Duscur and Firdhiad with her carrier birds.
"Ada?”
“Ah, Lord Molinaro.” She turns around to greet him. At this moment Dedue notices the piece of paper she is holding in her hands.
“Is there something you wanted to speak to me about?” He asks.
“A bird arrived with this letter. It has the royal crest on it so I think it's for you.”
Dedue closes the distance between them and takes the letter from her. One look is enough to confirm their suspicions. A letter from Dimitri. It is a relief to only hold it in his hands, even if he doesn't fully understand why. He never doubted that his friend would write him back. He thanks her, informing her that he should return to her with a letter on his own in a short time. She just smiles and says she will be waiting for him before returning to her station.
Dedue gets in the intimacy of his temporary home and quickly breaks the royal seal.
“My dear Dedue,
I am pleased to learn that the trip went smoothly. I had no fear about the way you would be received in Duscur either. I knew the people would understand quickly that your are worthy of their trust, as you are more than worthy of mine. Your words are my words.
You can rest assured that I try to not overwork myself. You do not have to add my well-being to your list of worries, especially since you are so far away from me. But I ask the same of you in return. I do not want you to exhaust yourself. The reparation of Duscur is very dear to my heart as it is to yours, and of all the people who welcomed you. But I'm convinced they understand that this kind of things take time. Three years can seem like a long wait to finally realize our dream but it is to make up for nine years of history. Taking a few more days to make sure that you are healthy in your task is not inconceivable. I only want you to take care of yourself, too.
The situation in the former Empire is a difficult one. I still don't know how I shall handle it. I believe for that reason I can perfectly understand how you may feel. It is strange to work far from you. I grew so used to your presence by my side and your support. But I completely trust you and I know you will manage on your own.
Good luck my friend. Write me to keep me informed.
Dimitri.”
Dedue's heart feels much more confident after reading his friend's words. The trust he puts in him has never been a question, but to read it again and again, to know that he has more confidence in his skills than himself, it is a different feeling. His heart is beating fast and light in his chest, all thanks to some ink spread on a sheet of paper. But Dedue can perfectly imagine his friend telling him those words directly, and suddenly the hurt of his fingers for having written all day doesn't matter. He only has to reply to Dimitri, even if he never was talented with words, even if he has no ideas of what to write.
But friends can be honest with each others. He only has to write what he thinks.
Dimitri can do nothing more but wait in his throne room. He often complains about the paperwork but probably, the wait must be the most awful part of a king's duty. Well, it is not a duty in itself. It is only when a meeting is near and he has no choices but to await the other party's arrival.
Despite everything, he feels like all he does lately is wait. He waits impatiently every day for Dedue's letters to arrive to him. A mockery of his presence that he always used to have by his side. He thinks that even if he had enough letters to read all day long, it would never quite be enough. But he has to wait for the accomplishment of his task, his dream. He has to wait for his return and in the meantime, for his letters.
Right now he sits patiently on his throne, his arm, resting in the armrest and supporting his head that seemed to grow heavier the longer he waited. He would rather grab a lance and train with anyone who would want to cross blades with him, or take a horse and go on a stroll, taking one knight's patrol to mix business with pleasure. Or even do paperwork. It often makes his head hurts but it is better than to do nothing. But he cannot move. He only recently arranged a meeting with someone willing to represent the rebellious village and come meet him to settle their differences peacefully. He simply cannot leave this room.
He thinks his sufferance may come to an end when finally, someone appears in the door of the throne room. But he soon recognizes the messenger holding in his arms a pile of papers. Official documents, communications with lords... Dimitri supposes that he can read them while waiting for his meeting.
But in the pile of papers, there is one that catches his eye. It is not neatly folded to be carried away by a messenger on a mount. The paper still has this curved shape of one that would have been kept rolled on itself and clutched tightly for a long time. Carried by a bird. He reads this one first.
“Dear Dimitri,
There are more complications than I anticipated. It must come from the number of request the council and I have to listen to all day long. I believe all the survivors decided to come to our final reunion and talk about what was wrong in the way we did things. They are little things, personal opinions that make them feel like their home has come back wrong, but I feel like I cannot simply ignore them. Our objective was always to bring them back their home. It would be a shame to leave them with something that will never feel like it.
They were request that I feel we can access. It was about things missing in the different villages. We made the mistake to rebuild them all the same while I knew each village was different from the other, with its own specialty. There are lacking buildings such as lumberyards in villages near forests or grinders in the villages that used to specialize in baking. I sent letter to the builders who helped rebuilding the villages from nothing in hope that they will agree to help a little bit more. But in the meantime I have to access to everyone's requests. When this will be done, someone chosen by the Duscurian will sign your declaration and I will be able to come home.
I feel like there is little more than I can do and I will not pretend that it is not frustrating. Before my departure I thought we were so close to reach our dream, but time passes so slow here. I share the same feelings as you do. Your absence is somewhat distracting. I cannot stop my thoughts from going to you. I know you will handle your own situation fine, but I wish I could be with you and help you. And in return you could help me with Duscur's final reparations. Our tasks always seemed easier when it was the two of us working together.
Of course I will follow your demand. I will try to not push myself too far. Even if a part of me feels already so exhausted and wants to accomplish our goal the quickest possible to finally be able to return to you.
I miss you Dimitri.
Dedue”
Dimitri, as foolish as he is, feels his face catch fire when he reads this line. As well as the second and third time he reads it. “I miss you Dimitri.” That is something he never thought he'd hear from Dedue. And yet it is here, written on paper. But it makes him feel too many things. He wonders if Dedue is as distraught as him, when they are separated. He only longs for his presence, his quiet looks and his careful words all day long, for the six days he has been gone. He misses Dedue terribly. He misses the way he says his name, he misses the touches he allows himself to make now.
All of this, he knows too well. His hand holds his face again as he tries to calm himself. The things he feels for Dedue, how comfortable he feels when he is around, how his heart jumps in his chest whenever he says something remotely more intimate than a vassal should, how he only wants to make Dedue happy... He was aware of it all since a long time ago. For many years. Painfully so during the war. Then, he wasn't sure he would live to see the end of the fight, even if he did everything he could to be able to. He had promised Dedue a future and he was determined to live to give it to him. Then... There was the task of rebuilding Fódlan. There was the reparation of Duscur.
He had promised himself to truly analyze those feelings in depth when Duscur was healed. Because it was a milestone Dedue had decided to put for the both of them. When he would allow himself to call him his friend again and again. But it happened sooner than he thought. Dedue arrived a morning and called him by his name and the intimacy of it... It hit him. He wants it more. He wants more of their murmured names and their dates and their embraces. Because of this, he misses Dedue terribly and reading these words, he begins to wonder if Dedue feels the same.
Dimitri tries to think of something to reply to his most cherished companion. But between what he wishes he could tell him right not and what he can actually write... His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of someone stepping in the throne room.
“My dearest,
I am truly sorry to hear that we could forget such important parts of the reparations. I hope you will soon receive positive replies to your demands. Things are settling down on my side. I was able to meet with a representative of the village. It seemed to me that our discussion went smoothly, despite a rocky beginning. The people there seem to have no faith in my good will, and that is only understandable after I killed their emperor. But this meeting was a token of my best intentions and the man who came to see me left with that understanding.
Though I feel confident about this situation, I still feel that it is not advised to leave Firdhiad so soon, when things are not entirely calm yet. But the desire to take a carriage and run to you is not lacking. I miss you too, and I wish I could do something to help you. Perhaps if it takes too much time, you could come back and we could try to fix these last details together. That is only if you wish it. But perhaps you think it can wait for the time when I can move myself.
In any case, I always impatiently wait for your letters. I can only hope my writing brings to you the same comfort yours brings to me. Even if they are bleak compared to hearing directly your voice. Our parting embrace was too short compared to the number of days we have to be separated. I cannot wait to be with you again.
With love,
Dimitri”
Dedue reads the letter again and again. The same way with the previous letter he received from his friend, he feels pride overflow him. He never had any doubts in Dimitri's capacities to settle the situation in a peaceful way. He tries to ignore the insidious feeling of shame, or maybe it is disappointment, crawling inside him. His king had to work without him. Without him, he did perfectly. He begins to question the use of his presence by his sides.
But when he reads the lines, he wonders if he truly needs to be useful to be with Dimitri. Perhaps he wants him more than he needs him. He feels the same way when he reads his last lines. His work here in Duscur, he doesn't think it has been affected by Dimitri's absence. It only affected his own emotions. As his words do. This is not his duty or a necessity, he realizes. He wants to be with Dimitri.
“Lord Molinaro?” He hears a knock on his door.
Dedue stands up from his seat, carefully putting the letter down on his desk before walking to the door. When he opens it, he meets a tall man of a mature age with graying hair. He is the one with whom he has communicated the most through letters and after his arrival in the village. Everyone here was motivated to work with the kingdom to repair Duscur, but he was the one who had the most connections and truly eased the work for him and Dimitri.
“Lord Nardo?” He isn't sure why he would be here now, though. He thought the council was finished and they only waited for the last details in each village to be settled.
“Oh, please, none of this with me!” The older man argues.
“I keep on telling you the same...” Dedue frowns.
“Right, right... Dedue.” Dedue nods. “I came to find you. It was decided that I would be the one to sign in behalf of the Duscur party. And we need you with us for this big moment.” His smile is wide and all teeth, Dedue has no difficulties to see the joy this event brings to him.
Dedue himself feels giddy, hearing the news. The sort of joy filling his entire body. His long held dream accomplished, Duscur restored, their hard work finally coming to fruition. “I am very happy to hear this.”
“We figured that you had done such a great work. You were probably not expecting to stay here so long and we'd hate to keep you from other things.”
Dedue wonders if he has done something wrong. He never wanted them to believe that he had other places to be, even if he missed his friend terribly. “Duscur was always my priority.” He assures him.
“I'm glad to hear that. Really.” His smile is less wide, but only more sincere. “It's all thanks to you and your king. But if we want to rebuild Duscur in its former glory, we will need to learn to stop relying on you.”
“That is honorable.” Dedue says truthfully. But reflecting on it, it should not surprise him. Those people appeared as hard working and willing to do anything to regain their homes the moment he met them. “I thank you, for your hospitality.”
“Naturally, Dedue!” He seems to consider something, before adding. “You'll always have a place here if you want.”
Dedue's eyes widens. “That is too much, I cannot.”
“Dedue, you're from here, and with all the hard work you put into rebuilding Duscur, you've earned it!”
His heart is beating really fast suddenly. But he does not know where his nervousness comes from. He supposes he never considered coming back to live here. He never thought of leaving Firdhiad, of leaving Dimitri. But since he arrived on his own, since he saw his home land slowly regaining its identity... He does want to see Duscur bloom back to its full potential. He wants to come back one day, for many days again, and see it again. See the Duscur's fields of flowers in full bloom. He wants to garden on these lands and cook the fruits of his work with spices from Duscur.
But he would hate to abuse someone's hospitality when it happens. Owning his own house here would be the best way to achieve it. “Very well then, but not without charges.” He concedes, electing a laugh from Nardo and a comment on his fairness.
If he is so lucky, next time, Dimitri will come with him, and he will be the one he will be able to share all of this with.
Dimitri cannot help but continuously look outside of the window. Ever since he received Dedue's last letter. The last two days, his constant surveillance was only foolish. There was no way Dedue could arrive under the necessary time of travel between the Duscur village and Firdhiad. But today. He should arrive today. And only because of this, because he cannot stop himself from looking outside the window for the shape of a carriage on the road, he cannot concentrate on anything. He is quite lucky that he has no important tasks today. The situation in the former empire has calmed down. Dedue finalized their dream. It does not mean that he has no work to do, as a king, but nothing urgent.
For that reason, when he sees a dark form appearing on the road at the horizon, he jumps out of his seat and rushes outside, without any form of rationality. He knows it could be about anyone coming to Firdhiad. He knows that running the way he does, if it is Dedue, he will arrive much before him and will still have to wait in the stables. But it matters so little to him. Today he will finally be able to see Dedue again, after ten days. Ten days when he could only feel his absence.
Dimitri awaits at the gates of the stables, under the curious and nervous gaze of the groom. When he sees the carriage approaching, he already feels his lips curling upward uncontrolably, and his chest lighten. Though it is nothing compared to the moment Dedue steps outside of the carriage.
“Dimitri...” Dedue says his name. Even though he is used to say it by now, when he calls him he feels like speaking a spell. Because the moment he lays his eyes on the smiling face of Dimitri all his exhaustion flies away. Especially when he sees him rapidly walking to him with an excited form of tension in his body. Dedue knows what he awaits. He leans in and opens his arms to welcome him.
But he did not know that much, apparently. Because Dimitri refuses his offer. Instead of pulling him in his arms, he takes his face in his hands and takes advantage of his leaning position to kiss him. On the lips. The contact is short, but present, even as Dimitri parts their mouth to take on his offer and wrap his arms around him. Dedue's lips are still burning with the touch of Dimitri's mouth.
Even as his mind is still trying to process the information that his friend, Dimitri, kissed him so naturally after so much time spent separated, his body reacts on its own. His hands find their place in his back, returning the embrace that makes him feel an all new kind of warmth. Deep inside of his heart, spreading into the core of his soul. Light and familiar and so full of life.
Dimitri suddenly freezes in his arms and pulls away. His eye wide as though he only realizes now what he has just done. He looks frantically on Dedue's face, perhaps for fear or disgust. “Perhaps I shouldn't have.”
Dedue is quick to reassure him. "No, it's..." Normal. The natural flow of events. The way things should be. He realizes it only now, when he knows how Dimitri's lips feel against his own. When he remembers the words on his letters, so carefully chosen. That was what they both always wanted. "It's very much alright."
Slowly, he brings his hand to Dimitri's face, and all form of previous nervousness leaves him when he leans into the touch like before. His cheek is warm under his palm, because of the lovely blush spreading in his face. He lets his thumb graze his lower lip, thinking about its texture against his own. He thinks he would like to feel it again, and realizes that he can.
Dimitri meets him half way when he leans in in his turn.