Chapter Text
The revelation almost knocks Morgan off his feet. He gasps for breath as the words sink in, stumbling away from Rossi’s door. The world spins around him as he makes his way down the stairs and out of the bullpen. He doesn’t know where he’s going. All he knows is that he has to get out of there.
He can’t face his team, knowing what he did. Knowing that his bullet missed the unsub, a target right in front of him who wasn’t moving, wasn’t struggling, wasn’t doing anything other than asking to be shot, and tore through the neck of his best friend, his brother. The best, most brilliant person he’d ever known has probably been permanently destroyed, and it’s his fault.
He’s barely slept at all since the shooting. Every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is Reid’s helpless expression as he slips away, hurt and scared. He never even knew what hit him.
Morgan ends up back home, and as he takes off his shoes, he finds the gun he keeps in his ankle holster. It’s a Glock, like the one he fired on Reid that day. Not the same weapon - that one is still evidence. But it’s close enough to bring all the memories flooding back.
He finds himself turning over the gun in his hands. Then he clicks the safety off. His hands know what they’re going to do before his brain has had a chance to process it.
He can’t go back to face his team. He can’t go through this investigation. He can’t go home to his family. One bullet might not stop another, but it’s the least he can do. He’s too dangerous to the people he loves.
Derek Morgan puts the barrel of the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger.
It’s the only solution.
-
Cruz gives the team psychological evaluations and three months of leave. He also prepares generous retirement packages for everyone, and is genuinely surprised when no one takes him up on the offer. They all think about it, but in the end, they need each other. What’s left of each other, anyways.
Somehow, the BAU’s reputation survives. But it’s not unscathed. Fewer cases are assigned to them, and everyone knows it’s not just because they’re down two agents.
Hotch eventually takes back the position of unit chief, if only in name. He leans of Dave more than he ever did before, out of a lack of confidence more than a lack of ability. Rossi lets him do it, even though he knows the man doesn’t need him. He knows the weight that falls on Aaron’s shoulders, and he refuses to add to it.
Not that Rossi doesn’t have his own burden to carry. He was the first to Morgan’s house that day, having gone to check on his agent when he found Derek’s badge and gun on Reid’s desk. He identified the body alone. Afterwards, he blocked the door to make sure that no one else on his team would be haunted by what he saw. Rossi knows that he can handle it. Before, he might’ve thought the others could, too. He’s not willing to take that chance anymore.
Garcia researches the best neurologists and convinces them to fly in from all over the country to see Reid. They run endless tests and charge endless fees, which Rossi pays without hesitation. And yet each doctor comes to the same conclusion. The chances of Reid waking up get smaller every day. The chances of him waking up as himself are even smaller.
More than one of the doctors suggest moving Spencer to a long-term care facility. The team steadfastly refuses. They have no idea if he can tell the difference, but none of them can bring themselves to institutionalize their friend. Instead, Rossi shells out even more money to pay for in-home caregivers. They move Spencer back into his apartment and visit him there. They tell themselves that the familiar surroundings will help him to heal.
Seven months after the Daniels case, the team gets a call. Spencer has pneumonia, and his doctors don’t think he’s going to make it through the night. The BAU, on a case in California, drops everything to race back home. They’re past hoping for a miracle. They just want to be able to say goodbye.
They make it in time. Spencer Reid takes his last breath surrounded by people who love him.
He’s not alone.