Chapter Text
Vyoonminnamjinseok (what the fuck kinda number is 6?)
7:22 pm
Agustdick changed his name to Yoongles.
Yoongles changed the group name to Vyoonkookminnamjinseok (7 how cliché)
Taehung: Wait
Yoongles changed his name to Agustd
Jammin: Lmao is Yoongi hyung trying to sound appropriate?
Agustd: Behave
Agustd added BunBun
Taehung changed Agustd’s name to agustusDick
agustusDick: Guys say hi to Googi
agustusDick: TAEHYUNG
BunBun: !!!!!
Jammin: !!!!!!
HoeSucc: !!!!!!!
Joonie: Hey Kookie <3
HoeSucc: What happened to not being able to text and shit?
BunBun: Did you guys really think I couldn’t text anyone? We live in the 21st century
agustusDick: They’re kinda soft in the head
Seokgin: JEON JEONGGUK
Taehung: You don’t talk hyung, you thought the same thing
agustusDick: Oh Taehyung, you really are stupid
Taehung: nvidserhgiojero[fkewlwfoeo23e[p3rofkgvjm
Jammin: so………
Jammin: Jeonkookie………
Joonie: I have this terrible feeling
Jammin: ARE YOU AND YOONGI HYUNG DATING? IS HE AS SOFT AS WE THINK HE IS?
Jammin: IS HIS DICK REALLY THAT BIG? DOES HE CRY DURING SEX?
Jammin: HAS HE ASKED YOU TO MARRY HIM YET?
BunBun: Hyung! I’m using a text to speech app and I’m on the train can you please STTAHAHHPP
Jammin: Knew it, he didn’t deny any of it
Seokgin: rip
agustusDick: ………..I’m going to kill you Park Jimin
agustusDick: You know what this was a terrible idea
BunBun: Lmao Yoongi hyung what kind of a rep do you have?
Taehung: Kitten
HoeSucc: Secret
Jammin: Puppy
agustusDick has changed his name to AgustD
HoeSucc changed AgustD’s name to Agustdick
Agustdick: Why do I try?
Joonie: Cause you’re a Pisces.
Joonie: Anyway, Guk-ah we’re having a potluck at my place on Saturday
Seokgin: Bring Yoongi hyung
Agustdick: Y’all are fake friends
BunBun: I’d love to come Joonie hyung :D
HoeSucc: Yoongi’s crying again
HoeSucc: Saying he’s too cute
Agustdick has removed HoeSucc
Jammin: Deleting people doesn’t make you stronger Yoongles
Agustdick: You know what
Agustdick has removed Jammin and Taehung
Seokgin added Jammin, Taehung and HoeSucc
Taehung: Why was I removed?
Joonie: Did you guys read about the college protests in India?
Joonie: Guys?
…….
Yoongi raked a hand through his hair, small smile undefeatable on his lips as he hummed softly to himself. It just didn’t work. Not one bit. His image was built on seething anger, tongue flexing on an agitated society, words of venom targeting a stained, rotting world. Wrath, hatred and the knowledge of just being better. The desire to singe and destroy all that came in his path.
And that was so so hard when his tummy was all butterflies and soft soft love. When his thoughts were all secret kisses and stolen touches.
Hoseok kicked him under the table, his face pulled into an exaggerated mask of disgust. Yoongi snorted and bent back over his open notebook, the words glaring up at him demandingly, waiting. For something.
Yoongi sighed, pen petering out of his hand as he sat back exhaustedly, eyes darting around, any distraction, any source of entertainment. Any source of inspiration. Anything.
“Yoooooooonnnggggiiiiii,” Hoseok lent across the table, swiping at him back and forth, brandishing his extra sharp pencil to try and gain some sort of traction, “Quit being a love sick dork and write something.”
“I’m trying,” Yoongi skrted his chair backwards, out of reach of the lead tipped weapon (anything in Hoseok’s hands was dangerous if you asked Yoongi), “I’m just…I don’t know I just, I’m really struggling, okay?”
“Nooo,” Hoseok flopped over onto the table, eyes comically huge as he raised a dramatic hand to his forehead, “You? Struggle? I had no idea.”
Yoongi glared, catching the rim of the table to pull himself close enough to tower over Hoseok’s lolling body. He was starting to feel the first glimpse of irritation in a very long time, maybe Hoseok was helping him after all?
“Shut up.”
“Then there’ll be two of us contributing absolutely nothing to the cause of cypher,” Hoseok teased sitting back up and punching Yoongi lightly against the cheek, “Real talk though. Please, write any garbage, we need to hand something in for our production class or we’re screwed.”
Yoongi gestured at the table frustrated, his inability to translate his thoughts into words clogging up his senses and making him like the truck his dad kept forcing him to work on over the summer. Spluttering and dying. How truly strange love was.
“Okay let’s look at it this way, wait,” Hoseok swivelled around in his chair flailing an arm in Namjoon’s direction, who was working diligently with his airpods in, “Joonie, hey, Joonie! Joonie, NAMJOON!”
Namjoon spasmed, his pen shooting out of his hand as he swung around, a look of pure terror on his face as he gaped at Hoseok incredulously.
“THIS IS A LIBRARY YOUNG MAN!” The librarian screeched, eyes narrowed and veins throbbing, she looked ready to rip Hoseok’s face off.
“I’M SORRY!” Hoseok hollered back, reaching out and grabbing Namjoon’s chair to attach it to their table nonchalantly, “Let’s talk.”
Yoongi slowly unfolded from the defensive position he had unwittingly taken up, “You’re insane.”
“It happens, “Hoseok waved off boredly, “Now Joonie you may be wondering why I called you here.”
“You don’t say,” Namjoon muttered, irises still blown wide with shock.
“See loverboi over here is having some, uh, let’s say trouble going back to writing his emo depressed goblin lyrics ever since one Jeon Jeonggukie happened to trundle into his life. As one of the three members of cypher and our friend I believe we should help him,” Hoseok smiled benevolently, eyebrows arching as he gauged Namjoon’s response.
Namjoon sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his temples carefully, “Why is this distressing for you, Yoongi hyung?”
Yoongi frowned, having actually thought that Hoseok had done a pretty decent job at summarizing the issue, “Well, it’s not really distressing, it’s more like just a misfit, you know? I suddenly don’t have easy access to those emotions anymore.”
“Okay,” Namjoon said carefully, pressing the tips of his fingers together carefully as he weighed his words, “And why is that a problem?”
“What?” Yoongi was truly bewildered now, he had expected Namjoon of all people to understand his mess of emotions. The patience and lack of comprehension on the other’s face was starting to make him panic, “What do you mean why? I can’t write lyrics for cypher if I’m not in that frame of mind.”
“And why is that?” Namjoon was looking at him the same way his math tutor used to when he was trying to tease out the correct answer from Yoongi’s numb mind. And as in that scenario, the expression made Yoongi want to throw himself from the nearest balcony. While on fire. Like Denethor from Lord of the Rings.
“Because,” Yoongi stuttered, he could feel sweat beginning to gather at the base of his neck. The fact that Hoseok was grinning at him like an idiot despite having no idea of what was going on was getting under his skin, “Be-because the sound of cypher is rage. It is anger, discontent.”
Namjoon smiled suddenly, warm and happy, “No Yoongi, the sound of cypher is you.”
“What?”
“What?” Hoseok snapped back to life, “The fuck?”
“The sound of cypher is the three of us, no matter which mask we choose to put on or what emotion we let dominate our minds. The sound of cypher is whatever we write. So if you don’t want to write about discontent and-and want to write about silly love songs and holding hands,” He laughed as Yoongi changed colour rapidly (“YOUNG MAN THE LIBRARY” They all ignored her), “and walking on cold roads together at night then do it. It’ll still be worthwhile even if it’s happy, I promise you.”
Yoongi blinked, a strange heat rushing to his chest, making him safe and excited and happy. Somehow he had felt he couldn’t let Jeongguk into his music, had to keep him separate so that his comfort couldn’t touch his work either. So that if he lost him atleast he wouldn’t lose his music, church and state.
But why not?
Silly love songs and holding hands and walking on lonely roads at night.
Why not.
……
“Jeongguk-ah,” Yoongi rapped his fist against the open dressing room door, “Are you ready?”
Jeongguk raised his eyes to meet Yoongi’s in the mirror, a soft smile gracing his lips as he fiddled with one of his seven piercings. He was wearing his red satin dressing robe, the one that Jimin teased made him look like an old-timey Japanese Geisha. It had big elegant white flowers printed on it, their paleness somehow deepening the rich glow of Jeongguk’s skin. Jeongguk loved these things, the details, took a great sense of pride in them. The dressing robes, the mirror lights, the little rituals before going onto stage. No matter that he couldn’t see any of it, in fact, in many ways it was because he couldn’t see any of it. Because Jeongguk was not one to settle or downsize, things should be exactly as they would have been in a not so distant reality. Only the best for him, and God strike Yoongi dead if he didn’t make sure Jeongguk would get the best of everything. It was all a little poetic if the thought about it.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk was turned in his direction as though expecting an answer, doe eyes soft with the first creases of impatience.
Yoongi shook his head, snapping himself out of his internal monologue, “Sorry Kookie what?”
“I asked what you wanted to take to the pot luck.”
“I want to take a marshmallow chocolate chip cookie,” Yoongi growled playfully, unable to hold himself back as he walked up and engulfed Jeongguk in a tight hug, leaving sloppy open mouthed kisses along the side of his head. Jeongguk laughed, batting Yoongi away though holding onto him still, a bright smile lighting up his face as he reached for Yoongi’s head, angling it down to meet his. It was a soft kiss, barely one even, their lips brushing together clumsily from how far Yoongi was bent down. A feather’s touch.
But it left him breathless anyway.
Burning.
He captured Jeongguk’s lips again, this time more forcefully, unwilling to let him get away. He tasted as he always did, lavender tea leaves on a rainy autumn’s day. Maybe a little like home. Maybe a little like Yoongi by now.
“You’re very preoccupied today,” Jeongguk whispered, breath fanning cold against Yoongi’s cheek, “Something on your mind?”
“Hmm?” Yoongi nuzzled into the side of his cheek, taking the proximity to really drink him in. He was beginning to think that this absolute wonder he felt every time he saw the younger was never going to fade, it hadn’t decreased one bit since the day they’d met. And it scared him just a little, “I was just thinking.”
“About what?” Jeongguk turned back to the mirror, standing up to slip out of his dressing robe. Yoongi hastily pounced to the door and slammed it shut, doing his best to keep prying eyes away. He kept his own gaze turned down as well, not that he hadn’t seen (read: felt, tasted) Jeongguk’s bare skin many times before, it just felt wrong outside the bedroom. Jeongguk, of course, had no such qualms.
(“I was made to be admired hyung, not to have a prude of a boyfriend.”)
“Just-uh,” Yoongi waved a hand trying to get his thoughts in order, “Music, I suppose, work.”
“What about it?”
“It’s just, not, I mean it’s not really, happening.”
Jeongguk frowned, a crease appearing between his eyebrows as he pondered over Yoongi’s words, “Any idea what’s stopping you?”
Yoongi watched him pull on his thigh-high latex boots, wondering whether or not to burden him with his petty problems. Maybe he wouldn’t tell him any of it, maybe he’d just sit him down at the end of all this and make him hear the song he had written for him. Like a surprise. Jeongguk loved surprises.
“You know what, we can talk about this later, I’m too excited for the cookies to be honest.”
“Well if you want to make cookies then we should get going now, Joonie hyung said to be at his place by six,” Jeongguk’s voice was slightly muffled as he pulled his grey turtle neck over his head.
“Make,” Yoongi frowned, a strange sense of dread creeping up his spine, “Why can’t we just buy them?”
“Be-cause,” Jeongguk sighed exasperatedly, “Other people are bringing actual dishes to this dinner. If the best we can do is some cookies I’ll be damned if they’re store bought.”
“Woah woah, easy there seabiscuit,” Yoongi grinned, reaching for Jeongguk’s bag and shouldering it easily, grabbing Jeongguk’s hand with his free one, “If we have to subject everyone to your incredibly subpar cooking we will, don’t worry.”
Jeongguk rolled his eyes laughing, “Says the man that’s at my house for dinner every single day.”
“Well between you and me,” Yoongi grinned cheesily, “I’m wayyy more interested in dessert.”
Jeongguk groaned in embarrassment, raising a hand to cover his face, “Please tell me you’re at least ashamed of yourself.”
“Just a bit.”
……
See, Yoongi really thought if he died in this moment he wouldn’t particularly mind. What with the warmth he felt consuming him inside out, the feeling of Jeongguk’s soft hair against his leg, his melodic laughter filling up the living room. Taehyung was performing what could only be called a operatic interpretation of the chicken dance, Jimin and Hoseok providing him with backing vocals while Namjoon and Seokjin tried to improvise a weird mating dance to go with it. And Yoongi just felt
Fuzzy?
Fuzzy.
And complete. And God he hated it, hated how it took one careless glance from Jeongguk’s unseeing eyes to have him blushing and giggling like an idiot, one meaningful touch from his perennially cold fingers to set Yoongi’s whole world aflame, one word whispered breathlessly to have him willing to sell his soul. Yoongi hated it for meaning so much. For making him so happy. It should be criminal really, how singularly his heart beat for Jeon Jeongguk
“Ah, cherubophobia,” Taehyung had said wisely, taking the utmost care to have one even layer of every kind of dip stacked on his nacho.
“You idiot,” Jimin hissed, “If Yoongi hyung was scared of cherubs he wouldn’t be able to date Jeongguk.”
“It’s not cherubophobia,” There was a vein throbbing in Seokjin’s forehead by then, his patience wearing thin, “It’s cherophobia, the fear of being happy.”
“That sounds about right though,” Yoongi had mused frowning, absentmindedly carving out a J in the dip in front of him, “Like the happier I get the more I have to lose.”
“See,” Taehyung sat up, spreading out his arms, “What’d I say?”
“Yoongi-yah, I can’t deny that that’s true, but you must trust that you will fly instead of fall. Trust him, trust yourself, and take the leap.”
Except it hadn’t really been a leap, not a conscious one anyway. Because nothing about Jeongguk was conscious. It was simply the way it was, because it couldn’t be any other way.
“I think Yoongi hyung would be a lynx. You know, crafty, small, full of rage,” Yoongi looked up to see Hoseok studying him intently, tongue between his teeth as though figuring out perspective.
“No no,” Jimin shook his head vehemently, standing up as though the statement had personally offended him, “He’d be an otter, y’know always lying back, always holding hands.”
“I think he’d be a wolf,” Jeongguk hummed, Yoongi immediately turning his gaze down to see Jeongguk looking up at him, all soft soft adoration, the universe in his eyes, “Protective, strong, likes to act like a loner but needs his pack.”
“Really only need you,” Yoongi replied before he could stop himself, not that it was true. Not that he could in any way even dream of living a second without the others. But it was worth it for how Jeongguk covered his face, screaming softly, for how Jimin was yelling bloody murder at him from across the room, for how Taehyung had immediately burst into crocodile tears. It was worth it cause god damn did it make Yoongi feel loved.
“Now that we have established Yoongi hyung is full of shit can we please play some dumbass old school truth or dare to wriggle out all his nasty little secrets?” Namjoon asked from where he was lounging on the carpet, already chugging down the remnants of soju so that they’d have a bottle to spin.
“And here I thought Joonie was above such things,” Yoongi said wryly, pulling Jeongguk up off his lap into a sitting position, “But absolutely, I have nothing to hide.”
“Okay but can we please just make it truth and truth, Jimin and Tae tend to use the dare as an excuse to make everyone makeout,” Seokjin said pointedly, eyeing an affronted Taehyung playfully from the corner of his eye.
Jimin tossed his hair exasperatedly, “You say that like it’s a bad thing, but fine whatever. Wuss.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Try not to be one then. Hyung.”
“Now now,” Jeongguk laughed, plonking down on the carpet between Hoseok and Yoongi, “Play nice.”
“Rules,” Hoseok said, neatly smoothing out the carpet and setting the bottle between them, “Whoever spins it gets to ask whoever it lands on a question. They must tell the truth or take a shot of,” He looked around, squinting at Namjoon’s liquor cabinet to determine which of the bottles was the deadliest, “The tequila gold.”
“That’s one of my most expensive but okay,” Namjoon murmured.
“I know,” Hoseok grinned, “I gifted it to you.”
Three rounds in and Yoongi was starting to feel not so good.
Magically, the bottle kept landing on him, and one after the other the boys took turns asking him the worst questions humanly possible.
“Have you and Jeongguk done it yet?”
One shot.
“If all your friends and your boyfriend were hanging off a cliff and you could only choose one or the other, no you can’t jump to save both, what would you do?”
Two shots.
“If you had to watch any of us get it on with Jeonggukie who would you choose?” (“What the fuck Kim Taehyung?” “I’m genuinely curious.”)
Three shots.
And all this was fine really, because Yoongi could drink like a small bull if need be. But Jeongguk, Jeongguk not so much. It took him about one shot to be a giggly mess and two to tell you his credit card number. There was no possible way this was going to end well. Not with the haste with which he found himself and Jeongguk downing shots. Had he been slightly less fuzzy he may have noticed that the bottle was continuously being prodded to land on either him or Jeongguk. But alas, life was not so kind.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Seokjin had an insufferably satisfied expression on his face, his posture just a little too snug, “Do you think Yoongi is the love of your life?”
Jeongguk sat motionless a minute, chewing on his bottom lip lost in thought. Yoongi found that he wasn’t really breathing, his heart rate having picked up considerably within seconds. He was too far in. Any way Jeongguk chose to answer was going to have him undone, albeit in different ways. He held Yoongi’s life in the palm of his hand, and Yoongi knew he was too intoxicated to lie. And honestly he didn’t know if he’d be able to take it, if he’d be able to bear Jeongguk saying-
“Yes.”
It was soft, but firm at the same time. Gentle but an unshakeable truth. There was silence around the room, or maybe just in Yoongi’s head. He turned his gaze to Jeongguk’s face, seeing a very calm matter-of-fact expression. It simply was, nothing more nothing less.
Yoongi just barely registered Taehyung’s question to him.
“Yoongi hyung, are you going to marry Jeonggukie someday?”
He barely registered as he answered within a heartbeat.
“Of course.”
Of course
Yes
Of course.
…….
Vyoonkookminnamjinseok (7 how cliché)
10:45 am
Taehung: *aggressive goblin lisp* Jeongguk-ah, I’ve been thinking about our lives up this point
Jammin: *overly breathless turned on whisper* a-and?
Taehung: and I’ve realized something very important
Jammin: wh-what hyung?
Taehung: I want you to be my goblin bride
Jammin: omg TT_TT hyung! I thought you’d never ask
Joonie: what the fuck is going on
HoeSucc: Why can the 2 of you suddenly spell properly while role-playing?
Taehung: (shush) I never thought you’d agree to come live with me in my underground den, but I’ll be sure to keep you happy by forcing Jin hyung to catch us fish that I will roast over this dumpster fire
Jammin: Hyung TT_TT I love you
Seokgin: Yoongi is wayyy better at catching fish than me
Agustdick: KIM TAEHYUNG I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND I WILL EAT YOU. YOU HEAR ME.
Agustdick: chfwuiefguEAWgf97w tf4p87auhyfcOPqic9fue9w43yt834yfhuawhcoawjdiferyg847tgfeefgfuewchuu43yt75t3idoiwdbsxgtdsyfguerghirtjgohbrto
Seokgin: Like one time he caught 7 and I caught 1
Joonie: That’s exactly what a sewer goblin would say
Taehung: I want to guerg hirt you too hyung
Jammin: kinky
HoeSucc: Lmao
Agustdick: DELETE. THIS. NOW
BunBun: Why does my head hurt so muvh?
Joonie: It’s because you had about a fourth of a bottle of tequila neat last night.
Joonie: And then ate five hamburgers
Seokgin: My boy, making me proud
BunBun: wtf
BunBun: why did no one stop me
BunBun: Yoongi hyung?
Seokgin: Well he had the other 3/4ths so he wasn’t too well off himself
Agustdick: JEONGGUK
Agustdick: DO NOT LISTEN TO THE EARLIER MESSAGES
HoeSucc: u’know the easiest way to get someone to do something is by telling them not to
BunBun: I already heard them hyung
Taehung: lol lol
Seokgin: lol lol
Joonie: lol lol
BunBun: And honestly my head is hurfing too much too undersand whats being said
Taehung: God dammit
BunBun: I’ll listen later
Agustdick: NO YOU WON’T
BunBun: HYUNG STOP YELLING I SAID I HAVE A HEADACHE
Joonie: …….
Seokgin: ……. Yea yoongs have some fucking decency my god
Seokgin: disgrace
Agustdick: sorry bun
HoseSucc: @_@
Taehung: Sweet Jesus
BunBun: it’s ok hyung
BunBun: I’m sorfy I yelled
Jammin: Get this sappy shit of my timeline
Jammin: Go! Leave!
……
“And then, if I can’t?”
“I don’t want to hear that shit okay, I’m done with your half promises.”
“I’m not saying it’s going to be intentional, but things happen-“
“Not if you just try, for once in your fucking life, just fucking try-“
“I am trying, god damn it! Can’t you see!”
Jeongguk paused, spinning around on one foot to face him and frowning at Yoongi, “That was really good, hyung.”
Yoongi blinked up from the script in his hand. He could feel his ears rapidly turning red, as they tended to do at the slightest praise from him.
“I-I’m just reading,” he grumbled, settling lower into Jeongguk’s couch, “The paper.”
“I know,” Jeongguk mused, “but there was a lot of feeling there. You should try acting.”
Yoongi snorted, his bashfulness quickly giving way to amusement, “Like hell I should.”
“What?” Jeongguk giggled under his breath as he walked up, pushing at Yoongi’s knees playfully, “Scared you’ll suck next to me?”
Yoongi parted his knees, reaching forward to pull Jeongguk onto him, “Scared Seokjin hyung will eat me alive for venturing into his field.”
Jeongguk laughed openly, breathless and unbridled and snatching every bit of love right out of Yoongi’s heart, “He can be pretty feisty, but he doesn’t mean it.”
“Hmm,” Yoongi nuzzled into the side of Jeongguk’s neck, holding him close closer and closer still, “Jeongggukk-ahh.”
“Yes hyung,” He left butterfly kisses, open-mouthed and sugary sweet, along the side of Yoongi’s face, his hands lithely dancing along his chest. Yoongi let his eyes slide shut, let the warmth consume him inside out, let his mouth retaliate on any bit of exposed skin it brushed against. He let Jeongguk wrestle them into reverse positions, falling into the natural rhythm of things as Yoongi encompassed Jeongguk’s lithe frame under his.
It should have been embarrassing how it took close to nothing for Yoongi to get so swept up in Jeongguk, so overwhelmed, so starved. But he just felt so safe, so protected so loved, and he knew Jeongguk did too. Sometimes Yoongi wondered how he got so lucky, so unbelievably lucky, so absolutely impossibly lucky.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk whispered, fingers carding lightly through Yoongi’s hair, breath lingering against his lips as he smiled, so soft, so sweet, “Hyung, I heard all the messages you know.”
Yoongi stopped, heart stuttering almost instantly as his mind pulled up different versions of what those messages had said. It was so like life to slap him in the face just when he thought things were going his way. He took a deep breath, tried to anyway, but it came out more like a spluttering laugh.
“Hah,”
“I remember too,” Jeongguk was looking at him now, eyes big and serious and sure, “I remember you saying those things.”
Yoongi sighed, sitting back and roving a hand through his hair. He had no idea what to say that could make this better. He hated how he was always the one saying things first, hated assuming Jeongguk might be comfortable with his spouting nonsense at this rate. He watched the younger, flushed and ridiculously beautiful as he sat up, brows drawn into a look of concentration as he adjusted his sweater back into a decent position.
“Yoongi hyung, I think you’re the love of my life.”
Yoongi had expected to feel something, fireworks maybe, or panic. To feel his whole soul go up in flames or something clichéd and romantic. But instead he just felt, calm. Content. Ready.
“I think you are mine Jeonggukie.”
A heartbeat.
“I know,” Yoongi added.
Jeongguk smiled suddenly, muffling his face into his sleeve as he doubled down to hide the giddy happiness blossoming across his face. He reached out, arms wrapping around Yoongi’s neck as he pulled him back, his lips soft and pliant under Yoongi’s, his hands reaching for more and more and more
Like he could never get enough of Yoongi.
And god did Yoongi feel the same way.
Cataclysmically in love.
“And I want to marry you someday too hyung.”
……
“Well this is,” Namjoon squinted at the paper, his brain clearly battling for the right word as he ran his tongue along the inside of his jaw, “Uh, sap.”
“Hey,” Yoongi snapped, reaching out to snatch it back but failing miserably due to the all too apparent difference in their height, “You said you wouldn’t judge.”
Namjoon pursed his lips, eyes quickly darting to an obliviously squabbling Seokjin and Hoseok for help before focusing back on Yoongi, “I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s just very emotional.”
“And?” Yoongi spat, perhaps just a little too aggressively, but he really couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Hadn’t Namjoon been pestering him to write from the heart and all that?
“I just didn’t know,” Namjoon offered, slowly lowering his hand and going back to reading Yoongi’s jagged handwriting across the paper, “That you could be so, so- raw.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake Joonie,” Seokjin said mildly, having secured Hoseok in a headlock his entire attention was now focused on them, “He said he wanted to marry Jeongguk, remember? Of course he’s going to feel passionately about him.”
“Yas anf inf anyfcasse reaf itf ouf I wanf to hearf if,” Hoseok gasped, wrestling with all his might to break free from Seokjin who was watching him with detached amazement.
“What?”
Hoseok all but threw Seokjin off of him, taking a few short moments to refill his lungs with air, “I said read it out loud.”
“HEY DON’T YOU EVEN THIN-“
“You well up, I see you even when I breathe
Love blooms like cherry blossoms but burns and becomes ashes”
“Yoongs, my man,” Hoseok stared at him with large puppy dog eyes, incomprehension written across his face, “Whence forth so much pain?”
“It is quite on the sadder end of the spectrum,” Seokjin frowned, glancing worriedly at Namjoon, “I thought the whole problem was you couldn’t stop sweet talking.”
“Cherubophobia,” Taehyung mumbled from the couch he was half-buried on, “He’s cherubophobic.”
Seokjin took a deep steadying breath, laying his palms flat on the table and trying to keep his voice was level as possible, “For the last time its cheroPHOBIA YOU DUMB LITTLE-“
“Yea that,” Yoongi quickly jumped in, as Hoseok got up to stand in the way of a raging Seokjin, “I think I may be cherophobic or whatever. I think about it a lot actually.”
“Hyung, why don’t you just talk to Jeongguk about it? I mean, if it bothers you so much,” Namjoon scanned the rest of the paper, “You only write about things that tend to obsess in your mind, I know you.”
“Woah, woah, obsess is a big word,” Yoongi put his hands up defensively, internally flinching at how much truth the big word held right now.
“But I’m not wrong am I? Just tell him, he’ll reassure you. Or not. But then at least you’ll have clarity.”
Yoongi squirmed, puffing out his cheeks, “I guess, I just don’t want him to think I’m like, lame, or something.”
“Yoongi-yah,” Seokjin put his hand comfortingly on Yoongi’s shoulder, “You’ve been together more than a year now, he knows how lame you are.”
“Thanks, hyung,” Yoongi wasn’t too sure if that was a compliment but it did make him feel oddly better. Jeongguk did know him, in and out, hands and scent and voice and taste. Heck, he had said he wanted to marry Yoongi just the other day. Yoongi could talk to him about anything. Always.
“I don’t know,” Hoseok was whispering worriedly to Namjoon, “Yoongi hyung is wayyy lamer then he’s been letting on recently.”
“Shush,” Namjoon mumbled back, “Don’t let him hear you.”
“The way I see it,” Seokjin shrugged, sitting back and surveying Yoongi over his cradled hands, “You can either hate every moment you’re supposed to be happy and drive your relationship over a cliff with paranoia, or you can be honest and put your mind at ease. Seems a pretty simple choice.”
Yoongi nodded, his mind already playing multiple ways in which this conversation could unfold, some less reassuring then others. But it had to be done, now that the idea was in his head, it was unshakeable. It had taken hold like Taehyung watching Say yes to the Dress. And there was only one way to get rid of it.
“Fine,” Yoongi said so suddenly the four of them jumped out of their skins momentarily, “Fine, I’ll tell him.”
“That’s my boy,” Hoseok grinned widely, patting him on the shoulder.
Yoongi stood up, suddenly too excited to tell Jeongguk, too excited to wait. So excited in fact that he threw his laptop at Namjoon and sprinted out of the studio. So excited that by the time he had reached the building of performance studies he was huffing and puffing like he was going to blow the house down.
He stopped for just a second, leaning against the railing before pounding up the stairs all the way to the fourth floor (yes there was an elevator, no he wasn’t insane) and before he knew it he was throwing open the door to the Kwon Jiyoung Theatre and yelling “JEON JEONGGUK!”
……..
Yoongi pursed his lips, his gaze turned towards his shoes as he did everything not to look at Jeongguk by his side. The younger lent against the wall next to him, silently waiting for him to speak. He could feel his hand gently wrapped around his arm but he still said nothing. It was a bad omen, he was convinced. That or he was just really fucking stupid.
“It’s okay,” Jeongguk said for what felt like the eighth time that hour.
Yoongi shook his head, still insufferably hot and wanting to die, “It’s really, really not.”
“Hyung, I promise it is, it’s not a big deal,” Jeongguk bit his lower lip considering his next words, “No one’s even gonna remember this.”
At this Yoongi just had to laugh, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips, “A freshman introductory class is not going to remember a rabid senior bursting in and calling his boyfriend so loudly that said boyfriend fell off the stage? At least tell believable lies Jeonggukie.”
“I didn’t fall,” Jeongguk mumbled, cheeks stained a pretty pink from the blow his ego had clearly taken, “I took a misstep.”
Yoongi waved his hands in exasperation, “And thank god you didn’t or I’d have yeeted myself out the window before Hoseok got the chance to cut off my head, but I-I,” Yoongi slammed his head back against the bricks groaning, “God I suck.”
“Hyung, look, Yoongi hyung,” Jeongguk took a deep breath, straightening up and turning Yoongi to look him dead on, “You got a little overexcited, okay? That’s all. It’s nothing to go around committing hara-kiri over. I mean,” Jeongguk trailed off, hand gently stroking lines up and down Yoongi’s arm, “You obviously had something important to tell me.”
OH.
Oh.
Right.
Min Idiot Yoongi had forgotten his true agenda for a moment there. And he wanted to leave it forgotten.
“It’s kinda redundant now,” Yoongi sighed, not finding it in himself to look at Jeongguk.
Jeongguk frowned, studying his face a moment before reaching down to pick up his bag, “Come with me,” he took Yoongi’s hand firmly between his cold fingers and started down the street towards his building. Yoongi followed silently, the ground seeming to hold onto his feet. He didn’t want to reach the warmth and comfort of Jeongguk’s apartment, didn’t want to be overwhelmed with those feelings of love and safety. Cause the second he was in there he didn’t really remember what he felt like on the outside. Didn’t remember how lost he felt. Didn’t that make all of it an illusion?
Before he could comprehend what was happening he was being pushed into the sofa, a cup of lavender tea magically in his left hand. Jeongguk sat next to him, hands playing nervously with the fleece blanket draped over the side.
“Hyung,” There was an odd amount of force to his voice, like he was trying his best to get through the words he was speaking, “Are you trying to break up with me?”
Yoongi choked on his tea, eyes welling with tears at the lack of oxygen as he tried his best to splutter out words of reassurance, “Whaf the fck Jeonfuk?” What the actual fuck was going on.
Jeongguk gently rubbed circles on his back until he stopped coughing, his calm, serious eyes fixed on Yoongi’s face though not seeing the absolute horror written across it at the mere mention of breaking up.
“Jeonggukie,” Yoongi rasped, wiping the spittle off his chin, “Why on Earth would you say that?”
Jeongguk squirmed, body folded into a tight ball as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. He took a deep breath holding both his palms outward as though steadying the atmosphere.
“Well, you just seem super, super uneasy these days. It’s like every time I say something nice I can feel you panicking, every time I tell you I love you you seem to freeze up, I just don’t know what’s going on but I can’t take it anymore. Busting into my rehearsal, constantly pulling away, it’s just so unlike you hyung.”
Yoongi stared at him in disbelief, his heart hammering as he tried his best to decipher the words that had just been said.
“Jeongguk,” he said, his voice somehow impossibly calm, “I love you.”
Jeongguk puffed his cheeks out in frustration, “Yes you do but-“
“But what Jeongguk? What could possibly be more important than that?”
There were tears sparkling in the corners of Jeongguk’s eyes, and Yoongi realized with startling clarity how much Jeongguk had been thinking about this. It broke his heart, how selfish had he been being, keeping this all to himself, “I just thought that maybe you don’t wanna be stuck with the blind guy, hyung.”
Yoongi closed his eyes, he could hear the universe shrieking at him. Hell, he was pretty sure his heart was just gonna fall out his chest and crawl its way to Jeongguk to stay forever. Carefully he lifted Jeongguk’s quivering hands and pressed his rough lips to them. All this time Jeongguk had played the secure, unafraid lead and Yoongi had just sat there buying into the performance. Never once thinking he could be hesitant on the other side.
“Jeongguk, no one has ever thought of you as the blind guy. I, never, not even in my wildest dreams, have ever thought of you as that. You are,” Jeongguk was crying now and Yoongi hastened to take him into his lap and wrap around him as tightly as possible, “Jeongguk, you are the fucking love of my life. I think of you every second of every day, and I want to think of you for every second to come. I am never, ever letting you go,” he kissed his forehead, rocking him gently, “God damn I don’t know what I did to deserve you in the first place.”
Jeongguk pulled away, sniffling. He pushed his damp hair out of his face as he reached out to cup Yoongi’s face, “Then what is it hyung? What is making you so uneasy?”
“I,” Yoongi put his hands around Jeongguk’s, “I think it’s all going to disappear, this crazy happiness. This is all just going to go away.”
Jeongguk squinted in confusion, “But if you love me then-“
“I’m scared you’ll stop loving me Jeongguk. I’m too happy, I’ve never been this happy before, something is bound to go wrong.”
It felt odd to have finally said it, to have let the proverbial cat out of the bag. Like he could finally breathe again.
“Like cherubophobia?” Jeongguk asked softly.
“It’s cher- yeah” Yoongi grinned, “Yeah just like that.”
Jeongguk paused for a moment, muttering softly under his breath before, “Hyung, do you remember what I told you the first time you ever came over?” he watched him with those fathomless brown eyes, chest rising and falling in sync with Yoongi’s breathing.
“About letting your heart and mind take you on an adventure? Yeah I remember.”
“Well,” He was so close now, Yoongi could smell the familiar scent of his green tea perfume, “Don’t you think it’s time you came with me?”
Yoongi smiled slowly, Jeongguk unconsciously mirroring him as he drew closer, “Yeah,” he murmured against his lips, “Yeah, I guess it is.”
…….
Vyoonkookminnamjinseok (7 how cliché)
10:36 pm
Taehung: O M G
Seokgin: I don’t think Yoongi gets paid enough for the quality entertainment he provides us with Every. Single. Day
Joonie: Once again, I have no idea what is happening
Jammin: HAhahaahhahahHAHAHhahahahhhhaahhahahahhahHHHHHAAAA
HoeSucc: Yoongi you demented halfwit
HoeSucc: can you try to not actively injure my best dancer???
Jammin: Hey!
HoeSucc: Yes my other best dancer?
Jammin:…..nthing
Taehung: lamo old yoongo boongo was scared of looking like a clown but he’s the whole circus
Taehung: beep bop
Agustdick: I kinda deserve this one can’t even argue
Joonie: wat hap
Jammin: Yoongi hyung burst into our play practice and yelled out Jeonggukie’s name
Taehung: Very romantic, I must say
Jammin: And Jeongguke fell ogfee the satage
Joonie: He what?
Taehung: He fell off the stage. Fell. Right off.
BunBun: I tripped hyung don’t believe them
BunBun: And I thought it was really sweet stop making fun of Yoongi hyung
Seokgin: May I have a bag to throw up in?
Agustdick: No
Joonie: This is just
Joonie: So funny
Agustdick: Yes yes have your laughs you garbage humans
Taehung: Isn’t it especially funny that Yoongi hyung was scared of looking lame
Taehung: and then did the lamest thing humanly posisible?
HoeSucc: I told you @Joonie
Agustdick: kim taehyung shUT UP
Seokgin: He hasn’t listened to you in fifteen years Yoongs, your repeated attempts are very fruitless
Agustdick: Thanks as always hyung
Seokgin: Anytime
BunBun: Well I thought it was really brave
BunBun: and also lame as fuck lmao
Agustdick: Ggukie…..not you too
BunBun: it was just so bad hyung
Agustdick: you said no one would notice
HoeSucc: he lied lol
Jammin: we literally stopped practice to laugh after that
Agustdick: brb going to drown myself in the Han River
Taehung: no hyung! This is tourist season
Agustdick: I hate u
Taehung: nah you loooveee meee
Taehung: just like you looooveeee jeonggukieee
BunBun: Eww
Joonie: Eww
Jammin: Eww
Agustdick: sigh
Seokgin: anyway, judging by all this sweet talk I’m gonna assume everything went well
Taehung: likewise
HoeSucc: who taught you that word?
Jammin: Wait what went well?
Joonie: lmao it’s fun not being the clueless one for once
……
It was weird that Yoongi wasn’t even slightly miserable. Sure he was drenched head to foot from having gotten wet in the rain, Hoseok once again hoarding all the umbrellas in the house. And his wallet was most definitely soaking, the little change he had left from Chinese takeout in a most pitiable state. Not to mention the woman in front of him in line was taking an abnormally long time to decide what she wanted to order. No really, if miss chai-tea-latte-no-sorry-mocha-cappuccino changed her order once more he was going to start swinging.
Still, he wasn’t at all unhappy. Far from it. In fact, his entire body was tingling, not from the frigid draft from the air conditioner, but more from an uncontainable excitement, one that was consuming him body and soul. So much so that he barely registered the barista was glaring at him expectantly.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she replied dryly, “What can I get for you today?”
Yoongi fumbled in his back pocket for his wallet, struggling to pull it lose, “I-uh, I’ll take a flat white please.”
She eyed his wallet suspiciously before jabbing a few numbers onto her machine, “That’ll be five thousand won, and,” She inhaled deeply, “We don’t take wet-“
The door to the coffee shop slammed open, all heads instantly snapping around to the figure that stepped through, his canary yellow raincoat and black latex boots a blinding yet achingly familiar sight. He pushed his hood off, shaking his head to loosen the scattered rain drops from his pitch black hair, his lips curled into the smallest of smiles. Yoongi wasn’t sure if he should feel annoyed or smug at how the collective breath of the room seemed to have gotten punched out of their lungs, but he figured he didn’t have much say in the matter anyway.
Jeongguk looked around the space with his large unblinking doe eyes, he hesitated a moment as though unsure where to go.
Smug, Yoongi decided, was how he was going to play it.
“Jeonggukie!” He called, voice ringing crystal clear in the stifled air, Jeongguk’s face instantly brightening as he turned towards the direction of Yoongi’s voice. He skipped down the length of the queue, people hastily stepping back to avoid getting in his way. Yoongi could feel his heart lift with elation every step that Jeongguk took, close closer and closer still.
Yoongi reached out a hand and grabbed Jeongguk’s pulling him close and letting his press a kiss to his lips.
“Hey hyung,” He whispered, breathless and heady, something shy but sweet in the way he giggled to himself.
“Hey baby,” Yoongi mumbled back, wrapping an arm around his waist and turning back to the seething barista (Lucy? Lucy) who was trying her absolute best not to explode with anger, “Oh and a hazelnut praline, soy milk and an extra pump of tiramisu flavouring. And why don’t you throw in a slice of one of those chocolate orange cakes you keep in the back,” He slammed his soggy ten thousand won down and turned back to listen to whatever Jeongguk was gently kooing in his ear. He couldn’t make out too much of it as he grabbed the tray and led Jeongguk to the back of the café, but he was pretty sure it rang along the lines of hyung I love you I love you so much yoongi hyung. my yoongo boongo. mine. I love you.
He slid across from Jeongguk in the booth, pushing the cake and coffee towards him carefully. Jeongguk was jabbering excitedly about his plans for next week, talking a mile a minute.
“What’s next week?” Yoongi asked absent mindedly, tearing open a packet of sugar and emptying it into his awaiting cup.
Jeongguk rolled his eyes at him in disbelief, “Hyung you suck, it’s your birthday.”
“Hmm,” Yoongi sighed, “I just am not, you know I’m not much of a birthday person.”
Jeongguk nodded slowly, his fork slicing through the frosted icing lining his cake, “I know, I just thought we’d do something small and fun. Something intimate.”
Yoongi pondered the suggestion as he swished the burning liquid in his mouth. Jeongguk’s hopeful gaze was too much to resist, “I suppose I can’t be mad at that-“
A dramatic gasp resounded from behind him and Yoongi felt a small part of him die. Whipping around he saw Jimin and Taehyung standing there, their mouths shaped in identical O’s as they gaped at him, Jimin seemingly on the verge of tears. It wasn’t untrue to say that now Yoongi felt the smallest tinge of misery bearing down on him.
He cleared his throat, best to play it off brazenly, “Oh hey guys didn’t know-“
“DID YOU JUST” Jimin screeched so loudly Yoongi was pretty sure the glass windows were beginning to show cracks, “AGREE TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION?”
Yoongi could feel a tangible pain in his throat from just how dry it had gotten, Jeongguk confusedly chittering in his seat, “It’s not really a celebration, I mean, I didn’t even plan anything, Jeongguk-Jeongguk’s the one that-“
“Oh that’s okay Yoongles,” Taehyung said officiously as he pulled up a chair next to Yoongi’s, “We all knew you were a lyiNG, TWO-FACED, SELLOUT, BACKSTABBING PIECE OF-“
“Hyungs hyungs!” Jeongguk lifted his hands to bring peace to the table, pulling Jimin down into the chair next to his, “Why are you acting like you are not part of this plan? We are all going to celebrate Yoongi hyung’s birthday together.”
Taehyung sniffed affectedly, dabbing gently at his temples with a paper napkin, “It’s not that Kookie, you see Yoongi hyung has never once agreed to celebrate his birthday with us-“
“Doesn’t stop you from showing up and making me pay for food anyway.”
“- and you mentioned intimate, so you know, we thought,” Taehyung teetered off, levelling Yoongi with an agonizing glare.
“Intimate means you guys too,” Jeongguk said softly, his face alight with an overbearing affection as he laid his head against Jimin’s shoulder, “All of us. Together.”
“Oh,” Jimin frowned, eyes scrunching up in thought, “I thought you meant you were gonna get that d Jeongguk.”
“Jimin!” Yoongi barked, ears already turning red as he tried to avoid Taehyung’s scrutinizing gaze.
“Oh that,” Jeongguk grinned, pretty and mischievous, wide enough to capture Yoongi’s heart three times over, and then once more for goodluck. He lent up and whispered something in Jimin’s ear, Jimin laughing as he looked Yoongi dead in the eye.
“Lucky man,” Jimin said, a playful smile on his face as he winked at Yoongi. Yoongi pulled at his collar, feeling a lot more hot a lot more queasy, somehow wishing he could die and live all at the same time and God damn no one should ever be this happy.
But he was. And he was going to be. And nothing could take that from him.
“Yeah,” He said, maybe a minute too late, three pairs of eyes darting to him in confusion, “yeah I really am.”
And Jeongguk’s cheeks stained a pretty pretty pink, all shy shy and flustered. And Yoongi could read the patterns that inked his skin so well, as though he were an open book reading
Hyung, I love you. My hyungie, my love, my happiness, my reason.
We are allowed to be happy.
And it was just that simple.