Chapter Text
It was over. It was finally over.
Marianne took a deep breath as she looked at the now empty, clean streets of Enbarr. Only a few days ago, they had been filled with fighting, blood, and the screams of dying soldiers. Now, it was so quiet that it all seemed like a horrible, distant nightmare. The army had decided to stay here for at least a few more days, to tend to their wounded and start planning for the future. So, until a few hours ago, Marianne had spent most of her time dealing with the battle's aftermath: wounds that needed to be healed, horses that needed tending, and bodies that needed salving. She absolutely loathed it, but it had to be done, and she and Mercedes had spent countless hours helping wherever they could. Only earlier today had reinforcement healers come in, allowing her to leave the tent and catch her breath for a while. She would've liked to get some sleep, but as tired as she was, she remained wide awake, and so she wrapped herself in her coat and went for a walk. Only now, in the cold of the night in front of the castle that once belonged to Dimitri's enemy, it struck her that it was now all over. The Empire had fallen, the fighting was done, and she was safe.
Perhaps most importantly of all, Dimitri was safe. He'd made it. For months, that had been the most important goal on her mind, and she had succeeded. She could safely trust that from here on out, he would be fine, and him and Byleth would build a great new world together. But earlier today she'd received a letter, which had informed her that she would have to leave soon. The idea of leaving him, even though she knew he would be fine, had broken her heart in two with an amount of force that she didn't think was possible. It seemed that the infatuation she'd had back in her Academy days hadn't completely faded yet - although the term infatuation seemed lacking nowadays in a way she couldn't explain.
'Good evening, Marianne.' Suddenly, a voice cut through the silence. For a moment, Marianne was convinced she'd hallucinated it, as its owner was the person who'd been consuming her thoughts just now. But when she turned around, she saw Dimitri standing there in the pale light of a lantern. 'Are you going anywhere?'
'Oh, good evening, Dimitri.' She nodded at him. 'Nowhere in particular. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk instead.'
Dimitri frowned with worry. 'Are you sure that's a good idea? I've seen how hard you worked these past few days. You do need your rest.'
'Do you remember our academy days? I often slept very little back then, so I'm used to it. I'll be fine,' she assured him, but he didn't seem entirely convinced yet.
'Then at least let me accompany you. We don't know if there might be any stragglers left.'
She wanted to remind him that there had been multiple thorough searches of the city and that she was only planning to go for a short stroll over the grounds around the castle, which was fully under their control and probably the safest place in Enbarr right now. Then she remembered the letter she got earlier that day and realized that it could be quite some time until she'd have the chance to talk to him like this again.
'I'd like that,' she told him honestly. 'But only if it's not too much trouble.'
Dimitri smiled. Nowadays his smiles never seemed quite as happy as they used to be, every one of them reflecting just a bit of the pain he'd endured over all these years. She found them lovely nonetheless.
'If you'll have me, then I'd be honored to join you.' He then held out his hand and for a second, Marianne just looked at it. He couldn't possibly want her to..?
'I'll feel more at ease if I know you're right next to me. If anything goes wrong, I can protect you more easily,' Dimitri explained when he saw her look. Marianne thanked the Goddess that it was dark out here, because she had to be pink all over. She stretched out her hand and took his, a pleasant warmth running through her arm as she did so. His hand was cold and calloused, but it was Dimitri's, and so she didn't mind at all.
They started walking at a slow pace – Dimitri had gotten very badly wounded in the last battle and despite all the healers' best efforts, he still wasn't fully restored. For the first few minutes, there was complete silence between them, but Marianne didn't mind. Her days of constantly worrying if the other person found her boring, desperately trying to find something to say, were behind her. And even if they hadn't been, it didn't matter with Dimitri. If it was him, silence was alright.
Eventually, however, Marianne's curiosity got the better of her, and she spoke up. 'So you also couldn't sleep?'
Dimitri shook his head and looked at the stars, shining brightly in the clear Enbarr sky. 'No. I keep seeing her face. Don't misunderstand, I know that I did what I had to do. But I can't help but wonder what would have happened if she had not thrown that dagger.'
Marianne nodded softly. She didn't know Edelgard on a personal level, but part of her understood and even sympathized with her ideas on Crests and the nobility. If only the Emperor had taken Dimitri's offer, the world they would have created together could have been great. It had to be even harder for Dimitri, who once called her his stepsister and truly cared for her.
'I understand. And the voices? Are they still there?'
'Sometimes. But less now, although I don't know if they will ever fully disappear.' He stood still for a moment. 'It's a relief. It's much easier to focus on the living world without the dead calling me all the time.'
'That's already a good first step, I think,' Marianne said. It surprised even herself, but she softly squeezed his hand in reassurance, half expecting him to jump away the moment she did that. He didn't: he just kept walking, although she did catch him quickly glancing at her.
'I hope you'll be able to find peace eventually. And I will pray to the goddess that she will take good care of Edelgard, wherever she might be,' Marianne promised him. That wasn't enough, but it was all she could offer. 'But in the meantime, know that I'm here.'
'I know,' Dimitri said softly, and he shot her another one of those sad smiles. 'So, I have now shared what's on my mind. Now, if you would like, I can listen to your troubles.'
Marianne stiffened the moment he said that. Yes, there was definitely something on her mind, but she didn't know how to tell Dimitri without falling apart herself. She started searching for the right words, trying to find a way to make it sound less sad than she felt, but Dimitri had already noticed something was amiss. He positioned himself in front of her, never letting go of her hand, and looked her in the eye. His blue eye was filled with worry, worry about her, and it took Marianne all the willpower she had left to stop herself from crying until she'd run out of tears. 'My apologies, Marianne, I did not mean to upset you,' he said, softly stroking her hand with his thumb. 'I understand if you don't want to share what's troubling you. But remember that I once promised that I will be there for you, and I still intend to keep that promise.'
Marianne found herself smiling for the first time that evening. She did remember, and she was not planning to ever forget. And at that moment, she decided that she should tell him. He was going to find out eventually, and the longer she kept it hidden, the harder it was going to be.
'It's fine,' she said softly, squeezing his hand again. She hoped it'd give her courage, as ironic as it felt right now to search for comfort with the person who made this so hard in the first place. 'I received a letter from my adoptive father earlier today. He has asked me to come back to the Von Edmund territory. Now that the war is over and we are part of the Kingdom once more, he wants to start tutoring me so I can take over when he retires.'
Her body went cold when she saw the shock on his face and she wished she could take it all back.
'You're leaving?' He was clearly trying to sound diplomatic, but she couldn't help but notice the slight edge to his voice.
'I'm really sorry, Dimitri. I know I'm needed here, and I know I'd let everyone down, but it's my adoptive father. He's done so much for me. Please, forgive me.' She started blurting out that long list of apologies again, the one she created in her teenage years and had spoken hundreds of times since. She hadn't used it in full on Dimitri in quite some time, or on anyone for that matter, but the familiar fear of rejection that crept through her made her brain so jumbled that it was all she could think of.
'There's nothing to forgive, Marianne.' Dimitri had pulled himself back together again, and took her other hand in his as well. It only strengthened the whirlwind in her mind. 'You are doing your duty, and that is commendable. None of us will feel like you let us down, and in fact, it could be of great benefit to us. After all, having you involved in the politics of the former Leicester Alliance would smooth things along greatly.'
That wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was what she expected, and he was absolutely right. Of course he wasn't going to tell her not to go – how naïve could she be? And then, she made a decision. If she was going to leave, this would be her last chance to at least give him an idea of how important he was to her. He had the right to know.
'That's not the main reason, though.' She looked him straight in the eye, her impulse control overridden by exhaustion and sadness. 'I don't want to leave you.'
Dimitri froze in place. 'You mean the Blue Lions?'
'No. You.' She didn't want to let go of his hands, so there were no gestures she could make to emphasize her point, but she made sure he understood anyway. 'Dimitri, if you hadn't been here, I would've given up on this war ages ago. All I wanted to do was make sure that you would make it out alive, so that I could stay by your side. And now I still have to leave, even though I would much rather stay with you.'
Dimitri blinked. All he seemed to be able to do was stare at her blankly, so much that Marianne wondered for a split second if she might have broken him. Was this a mistake? Oh, Goddess, it must have been. When he finally opened his mouth, she braced herself for the worst. But as always with Dimitri, the worst never came.
'Is there any way I can persuade you to stay?' he asked softly. 'I do not want you to go either.'
She gave herself a few seconds to process that, which her mind finally allowed her now that her nerves had settled just a tiny bit. 'I think I should go,' she decided, weighing each word carefully. 'I want to help you rebuild Fódlan, and my adoptive father is very skilled. I should learn from him now that I have the chance.' Until now, her only line of reasoning was that she couldn't go against Margrave Edmund, but when Dimitri had said that it could be useful, she realized that this was a way she could help people. She could maybe even help Dimitri. That alone was why she should go – so she could help him build the world he envisioned.
'I... understand.' He took her other hand and took a step closer. Suddenly there was almost no space between the two of them, and Marianne was afraid that Dimitri could hear the frantic beating of her heart. 'But I do wonder how things will be without you here.'
'You don't need me any more,' she told him. 'You promised me you'd survive the war, and you have.'
'I wouldn't have made it without you, Marianne. If you hadn't been here to support me when I got my sanity back, I would've slipped into the darkness again.'
Marianne shook her head. 'I'm sure that's not true.'
'It is. I have never been more certain of anything.' Dimitri let go of her hand and put his hand under her chin, lifting it gently. Her heart skipped a beat at that movement and for a split second she felt inclined to throw her arms around his neck. 'You're very important to me, Marianne, and you always will be. Please remember that.'
'I will. And you're very important to me as well, Dimitri.' Now that she had finally said it out loud, it felt like a weight had been taken off her chest and made place for a fluttering sense of lightness. And suddenly, she knew why the term infatuation didn't do her feelings justice anymore, and why the King of Faerghus felt like the one place in the world she could call home.
'Dimitri?'
'Yes?'
'I just want to say, before I leave...' She took a deep breath. 'I think I might be in love with you.'
'I… ' Whatever words he wanted to say died on Dimitri’s lips. His eyes darted up and down from her eyes to her lips, he stepped even closer, and before Marianne knew what was happening, his face was so close to hers that she could see all the different colors in his eye. Then, while she was distracted by the feeling of his warm breath on her skin and the slight blush on his cheeks, he softly locked his lips with hers.
It was a short, chaste kiss, but it was enough to set Marianne's body on fire. The electric current that Dimitri's touch sent down her spine made her knees weak and she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. He responded by taking her into his arms, holding her tightly, as if he was afraid she would leave right now. He was warm, and steady, and safe, and nothing about the rest of the world seemed to matter for a handful of wonderful moments.
After a few seconds, Dimitri pulled back, and the night air around Marianne was definitely colder than before. 'My apologies,' he murmured. 'That was... a very crude way of answering. But I... I feel the same.' For the first time that evening, there was a smile on his face not tainted by any sadness. He even seemed somewhat flustered, his cheeks slightly pink and his eye sparkling. Marianne had never seen him like this before, and the only word she could think of to describe the tall, muscular warrior in front of her was 'adorable'. It wasn't a word she never would've thought she'd use for him, and the thought of it made her giggle a bit.
'Sorry. I promise I’m not laughing at you. I’m just a bit overwhelmed. I… I liked it. A lot.'
Dimitri looked away, mildly embarrassed, although he kept his arms around her. 'Sylvain was right when he said that I was hopeless around women.'
Marianne shook her head. 'I don't think I'm much more experienced with this myself. But it made me happy, so I think it's all right.'
'I'm relieved to hear that.' He swallowed and leaned forward again, pressing his forehead against hers. 'But I do have to ask, Marianne – will you come back?'
'I want absolutely nothing more,' she assured him. 'I don't know for how long I'll be gone, but once I'm done, will you let me come back to your side?'
'I will be waiting for as long as I must,' he swore, and he pressed a kiss on her temple.
'It's a promise, then.' She lay her head on his shoulder and stood there for a few minutes, taking in Dimitri's presence and the feeling of his body so close to hers. 'We're going to have to return to the castle at some point, won't we?'
'Maybe,' Dimitri sighed. 'You should get some sleep. When are you leaving?'
'The day after tomorrow. I've already talked it over with Mercedes.'
'I see. Can I... see you again tomorrow, then?'
'I'd love nothing more.' She smiled once more at him, and the way his face lit up in response was a truly wonderful sight.
With clear regret, Dimitri took a step back and took her hand again. 'Let us go back, then. Do you think you will be able to sleep right now?'
'I'm not quite sure,' she admitted. 'My heart is still beating awfully quickly. But I still have healing to do tomorrow, so I think I should try. What about you?'
'I should be fine. My head is calmer than before.'
'I'm glad to hear that.' They started making their way back to the barracks in comfortable silence. And as they walked, the stars above them shining brighter than Marianne had ever seen before in her life, it felt like her curse had been lifted.