Chapter Text
I wake up with soft sun rays falling on my face, feeling pleasantly warm. I can tell I'm drifting in and out of sleep for a while, enjoying the sun rays and the slight weight on my chest, hugged by a comforting blanket.
When I drift awake this time, it's different. With a jolt, from one second to the next, I'm wide awake. Still, I hold myself still, first I need to scout the environment with my senses, I need to make sure I'm safe.
This is how I've been waking up for years now. But I'm confused, the last time I enjoyed drifting in and out of sleep was before the island. What is different today?
I can feel a mattress below me and I'm reasonably sure it's the one in my room at the manor.
The sun is clearly shining which means I slept a lot longer than I usually do.
There is a weight on my chest that I can't explain, it's too heavy for a blanket. Also, something is tickling my chin.
Feeling reasonably safe, I deem it alright to open my eyes.
Simultaneously, my hands land on a soft body that is covering my chest and my eyes can make out a mop of blond hair, flying in all directions.
Felicity is in my bed, lying on my chest, her hair tickling my chin. What happened last night?
I struggle to remember. At the same time, without any conscious thought, my arms wrap around Felicity, hugging her closer to my chest.
I remember going to the gala with Felicity, Steph and Jen.
I remember the sweet dance Felicity and I shared, before I had to head out for the Arrow mission.
The mission. Poison. I'd been dosed with some form of Vertigo.
I remember now how I somehow made it back to Felicity and how difficult it was to pretend I'm fine in front of her friends.
But what happened after?
Before I could contemplate this any further, my door suddenly opens and Thea walks in as if she owned the place.
"Ollie, why are you still home? I'm …"
She trails off at the exact moment she spots that I'm still in bed. With Felicity.
I sigh, annoyed. "Speedy, how often do I have to tell you to knock?"
"You..since when do you bring girls home again?" She looks at me as if trying to reconcile the old Ollie and the new Oliver, considering the scene at hand.
I sigh again. "It's not what it looks like."
"Yea, right, that excuse didn't work on our parents when you were 16, I'm not going to fall for it now."
Before I can reply, I can feel Felicity shift and I glance down at her.
She blinks up at me, with adorably sleepy eyes. "Ol'ver?"
"Oh my, is that Felicity? What happened to 'you are just friends'?"
Deciding enough is enough, Oliver quickly addresses his sister. "Speedy, time for you to leave. Please let the staff know we will be down for breakfast shortly."
Thea looks disgruntled but she apparently knows when her brother means business, so she turns around and leaves, closing the door harder than strictly necessary.
All Oliver wants to do is go back to the moment when he first woke, cuddling Felicity without any disturbances.
Now he'd have to face her and he still didn't quite remember what exactly transpired last night.
Felicity is slowly sitting up now and turns to face him. If her red tinged cheeks are anything to go by, she didn't exactly expect to wake up in his arms this morning.
"Sorry for hogging your bed, but you really wouldn't let me leave last night. You remember last night, right? How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, but we are late for work." He conveniently sidesteps the question regarding his memories of last night.
"Work? No way Mister, not after getting drugged with Vertigo. And don't worry, I already cleared our schedules last night."
She really is remarkable, Oliver muses.
With sudden clarity, Oliver notices that Felicity is wearing one of his t-shirts and he spent the night next to her in nothing but his boxer briefs. Boxer briefs that are suddenly uncomfortably tight.
What happened last night?
Thankfully it isn't Oliver's first experience with memory loss, a particularity of Ollie's lifestyle that he is very much not proud of in retrospect. But hopefully his old and tried cure of a cold shower will bring some memories back.
With a sudden awkward cough, Felicity starts to collect last night's clothes from where she left them.
Oliver can tell Felicity is flustered by their situation and there is definitely a weird kind of tension in the room. He wonders if it's just because of how they woke up or if he is missing some crucial information from last night.
"Feel free to shower in my bathroom, I'll head to one of the guest suites." Oliver hopes that each having a moment to themselves will break this weird tension between them.
"Oh no, I don't want to steal your bathroom."
"It's fine, just take what you need and then we can go to breakfast."
Not wanting to argue about this, Oliver hops out of bed, walking to his walk in closest. He hears a small gasp from Felicity and Oliver feels more self conscious than he has in years.
What was that gasp about? Was he too forward last night?
Thankfully, by the time he grabbed some clothes, Felicity gave in and disappeared inside his bathroom.
Felicity sighs as she wraps a towel around her wet hair and slowly gets dressed. Of course he doesn't remember. But does that mean he didn't really mean it or is it something he doesn't allow himself to acknowledge when not accidentally given drugs?
The thoughts are still cycling through her head as she makes her way down the stairs and heads towards the manor's kitchen.
Thea was starting to feel truly exasperated with her brother.
They were in their kitchen, Oliver was making omelettes with veggies (she still can't wrap her mind around the fact that Oliver can cook now, how did he pick that up on a 'deserted' island?).
Thea was attempting to talk to her brother about Felicity but he was being stubborn and refused to admit to anything.
But her friends didn't call her the nag Queen for nothing. She was just getting started with him.
"Common, Ollie, how can you still claim you don't have feelings for her after all that?" Thea knows she is pushing him towards some breaking point, she can tell by how tense he is holding himself and his face has become an emotionless mask.
It's an expression that freaked her out when he was first back, but since then she learnt that this is a coping mechanism for him.
"Thea, for the last time, let it go." The last three words come out like a growl and Thea wonders where he picked that up. If he wasn't her brother, she would find that tone of voice quite scary.
"I'm just saying, every time something is serious, you don't want to commit. It was the same with Laurel before the Gambit."
"Commitment is no issue with this."
"So, what? You literally want to sleep with your best friend but not commit to her?"
"Jeesh, Thea!"
He was going to say something else, Thea can tell, but he stops abruptly and turns back to the stove as if nothing happened.
Thea is confused and just about to call him out on it, when she hears Felicity walking down the stairs. Her brother seems to have ninja hearing nowadays too.
Knowing it'll be a lost cause to talk some sense into him with Felicity around, Thea grabs an apple and heads out with one last comment. "I swear, the two of you need an intervention."
In the door she passes Felicity and waves at her brightly. "Don't worry, Felicity, I have a plan." Thea completely ignores Felicity's confused look and Oliver's hissed "Thea", as she makes her way to her car, a plan slowly forming in her mind.
Oliver can't believe the audacity of his sister. She was always a force to be reckoned with, but as a young adult the havoc she can wreck has increased substantially. He hopes he can anticipate any strange intervention plans she might come up with.
"What was that about?" Felicity settles at the kitchen island. Her voice sounds normal enough but he can tell there is still an underlying tension between them.
He does his best to ignore it as he plates up their breakfast. "Just Thea being Thea."
They eat in near silence as they so often do, but this time it's not as comfortable as usual.
At least now Oliver remembers why and it's all his own fault.
He was finally honest with her about how he feels. Now she feels awkward around him.
But is it because she thinks he doesn't remember? Or because she hopes he doesn't, because she doesn't feel the same?
He knows she cares for him as a friend.
He knows she is attracted to him on a physical level.
But she knows all parts of him, the persona he portraits to the public, his alter ego and those moments when he is truly himself. She knows how brutal he can be. She knows some of his darker secrets.
So surely, she must know what a bad idea it would be for them to get involved.
He is a mess and he never had a successful relationship. The last thing he wanted was to drag Felicity down with him and ruin their friendship on top of it.
All these thoughts keep rummaging through his mind as they try to get through some important documents for QC. As a result, he can barely concentrate.
A few hours in, Felicity seems to have had enough of his lack of focus.
"Oliver, if you still feel unwell, just say so."
Oliver nervously rubs the thumb and index finger of his right hand together. This could be his chance to say something. But what?
"I feel fine, Felicity." Why does he never know how to put his feelings into words?
"But something is bothering you, wanna talk about it?"
She is always so understanding. He wants to open up to her. Be honest for once. He already told her last night under the influence of drugs, why was it so difficult to say it again? Let her know that he meant it, so she can decide what she wants.
If Oliver had learnt anything about Felicity, it was that she makes her own choices.
So he should be open with her and they can talk about it together, like the best friends they are. If she doesn't want more, then he'd deal with that too.
"Oliver?" Her hand on his arm startles him. He must've zoned out long enough for her to start worrying, he can tell by the way she looks at him. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I won't judge you, ever."
"Felicity." He didn't quite know how to continue, but he tried to let all his feelings show, not keeping any of his masks up.
Felicity was looking at him patiently and she must've seen something in his expression because she quietly exhales, "ooh".
But still, Oliver knows she deserves better, he knows he isn't good enough, but he at least has to try.
"I remember last night."
Felicity visibly startles at his declaration. But he can't quite tell what she is feeling. Surprise? Hope? Dread?
"I just want you to know, I meant all of it. And I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable with this. Nothing has to change between us because of it." This time, when he started talking, the words just tumbled out and he silently hopes they are good enough.
"You..you really meant it? I mean, I was so sure you had forgotten and that.."
"Hey, Felicity, if you prefer we pretend it never happened, it's alright."
"Pretend it never happened? But why?"
Oliver looks at her in desperation, he isn't sure if he can say it out aloud, admit how he is clearly not good enough for her.
Felicity seems to understand something based on the look in his eyes. "Oliver? You know I feel the same right? I mean, with my hopeless babbles, it must've become pretty clear that my feelings for you go much further than just friends."
Oliver feels shocked. She feels more for him too? Oliver suppresses the hope rising in him, every time he let hope bubble up in recent years, he regretted it shortly after.
Felicity, his amazing best friend, seems to come to a realization as she watches Oliver trying to process what she said.
"Oh, wow, you really didn't know?"
"No, Felicity, I didn't. I mean, I know you care, we are best friends. I do know from your babbles that you are attracted to me physically. But I never dared to think that it could go beyond that."
Felicity groans and Oliver is immediately worried. Did he say something wrong? Talking about his feelings definitely wasn't his strong suit.
"What's wrong, Felicity?"
"We are both hopeless, because I was thinking the exact same thing, I never dared to hope either. Last night, you completely shocked me, in the best possible way. But then I spent the whole night wondering if it was just some weird side effects from the drug."
"No, no, it definitely wasn't. As unpleasant as the drugs were, it allowed me to be honest about what I feel. That's something you surely know I normally struggle with."
"Ha! Understatement of the century. I thought I got pretty good at reading your body language, but I definitely missed that."
With a mischievous grin, Oliver looks at Felicity. "Oh, there are definitely still a few aspects you have yet to explore about my body language."
Felicity mock gasps and slaps him on the arm. "Oliver Queen, did you just use a line on me?"
And just like that the tension between them is gone.
Oliver can't help the chuckle that escapes him. After all his worrying today, he finally feels something loosening in his chest.
"A joke and a chuckle? Where did my broody Oliver go?" Felicity's eyes go wide, as she realises how that could be misconstrued. Before Oliver can soothe her, she continues.
"I don't mean my as in mine just my as in mine. I swear, they are two different things in my head."
Oliver truly can’t stop the grin of amusement that immediately appears on his face. "Felicity, I'd be happy to be yours in either sense of the word."
"Oh. Oh. In that case, will you go to dinner with me?" Her eyes are open wide and she looks at him so adorably. What did he do to deserve someone as precious as her in his life, never mind as his partner?
"Dinner as in dinner dinner? As in, a date?" Oliver realises that it seems to be him now that babbles in typical Felicity style, but the potential of them being a them has him more nervous than he cares to admit.
Felicity laughs as Oliver slowly makes a fool of himself, but he can't bring himself to care. He can't remember the last time he felt this happy and hopeful. Suave playboy Ollie would have a good long laugh at him right about now.
"Yup, exactly like a date. Italian sound good to you? Everyone likes Italian, right?" He swears, the grin on her face right now is the most adorable one yet.
"Italian is perfect." Oliver can't stop but gaze at Felicity adoringly. He is very much looking forward to discovering this new side of their relationship.
"Oh wow, now I get to see a sappy Oliver look. I could get used to this."
"You'd better, because I'm not planning on going anywhere. Ever."
Taking in her wide eyes, Oliver immediately worries that he is coming on too strong.
"Was that too much?"
"No, it was perfect." Her quick reply and wide smile sets him at ease.
He wants to kiss her, right here, right now, but he also doesn’t want to rush anything. Their relationship was too precious to not ensure that everything would be perfect.
Instead, they gaze at each other, conveying their emotions and thoughts without words, and seemingly coming to a mutual agreement, as easily as they ever do as partners at QC and at their night time job.
With soft gentle smiles, they eventually return to their work, knowing that they'll have to get through the current stack of papers, so they can be sent out before today's working day ends.
Throughout their work, they keep sneaking hopeful, and, dare he say it, loving glances at each other. There is an anticipation prickling between them that neither can wait to explore.
As they work on their last stack, Oliver looks up from his current document, suddenly remembering his conversation with Thea this morning. "You know, Thea has some weird 'intervention' planned, we should be prepared for this."
Felicity looks up at him with wide eyes that turn calculating a second later. “We definitely should be.”
And in this instant, Oliver knows, they will be perfect partners in this new aspect of their relationship as well.