Chapter Text
—six—
JONGHYUN
(Christmas Eve, 2017)
He had done everything right. He bought the food and the wine they can afford, walked Blue in the morning and decorated and everything looked perfect, even in Minhyun Standards. Minhyun is not going to be home for Christmas, since he has to take a work trip to some hospital as part of an immersion… or something. So Jonghyun’s determined to make this Christmas Eve count. Unfortunately, one thing leads to another and Jonghyun finds out that the end of the world, as he knows it, begins on Christmas Eve.
They wake up in bed, tangled together, with him opening his eyes to see that Minhyun was staring at him while he was sleeping, fingers tangled in his hair.
“Hey,” he breathes, seeing the light from the harsh morning sun seep through the window and shine on Minhyun’s hair, turning the ends blonde.
“Hey,” his boyfriend murmurs. There’s a strange look in his eyes, as Jonghyun wakes from his lingering slumber, shifting closer so he can look at Minhyun properly. Minhyun looks… scared. Frightened, apprehensive and oddly uncertain.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, and he shakes his head. “Minhyun, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Minhyun replies, shifting closer and pressing a kiss to his forehead. The touch calms him, and his heart settles a bit in his chest even though his mind tells him that something is off. “Shall we go to the cafe that you like?”
Jonghyun smiles sleepily, and agrees.
MINHYUN
(January 5th, 2028)
“You’re not off the hook!” Daniel calls out, red-faced. Seongwoo rolls his eyes and jostles past him into their car, shoving past him to get to the driver’s seat. Nearby, Jaehwan looks equally knackered and is held up by Hyunbin as the pair stumble to the car. Hyunbin unloads his responsibility and strides back to hug them both, leaning against the doorframe.
“I missed you, hyung,” he mumbles, crooking his neck strangely and shoving his head oddly into Minhyun’s chest. He hums out an acknowledgement and pats the kid’s head, then waves as he runs back to the car. Seongwoo rolls down the window to wave at them, and then he turns out of the carpark.
“That turned out well enough,” he says, tilting his head to the side to look at Jonghyun, and winces. His face is all red and splotchy, and his eyes are watery. “Oh, no. Okay, let’s get you to bed.”
“Bed,” Jonghyun agrees, wincing back up the stairs of the foyer back into the lobby. The trip up the lift is largely silent, with his head lolling against the wall and making faint thudding noises every few seconds. He needs some help opening the door of the apartment, slumping before his fingers even reach the number lock. Minhyun’s reflexes come in just in time, and he catches him by the elbows.
“Two… five… one… two… one… seven…” Jonghyun mutters into his ear. Minhyun swallows at the numbers, realising quickly that it’s a date. He keys in the numbers with a shaking hand and lets the both of them in, kicking off his shoes and making sure the door is locked before helping Jonghyun with his.
“Okay, let’s get you to bed,” he repeats himself, his brain seemingly tired of forming new sentences. Jonghyun giggles in his arms, swinging his head around. He leans his head back to avoid a particularly nasty collision and hauls him to his bedroom.
“Bed?” Jonghyun sings. “Naughty! You’re supposed to take me to dinner first!”
Minhyun colours rather impressively, if he does say so himself.
“Get it together,” he hisses, and whether it’s towards himself or towards Jonghyun, he has no clue. Jonghyun’s still chuckling when he places him carefully on the bed. “I’ll get you some water–”
JONGHYUN
(January 5th, 2028)
“–wait a second,” Jonghyun hears. It’s Minhyun’s voice, but it sounds oddly distorted, as if miles away (or underwater). He swallows against the painful, glass-like feeling in his throat. He’s done his waiting. Ten years of it. No, he wants to say, just–stay here, Minhyun-ah. His hand makes a brief spasm, as if trying to reach out to catch Minhyun’s wrist, but he manages to capture nothing but air.
For a short moment, he catches his breath, lying on his white sheets. The wind from his air-conditioner whooshes past his ears, and he turns on his side, snuggling his face into the sheets. He’s drifting off slightly to sleep when something shakes his shoulder.
“Jonghyun,” the voice is insistent, but the hand pushing his shoulder is even worse. “Jonghyun-ah. Come on, drink some water.”
“Why?” he protests, sitting up grudgingly. A pillow is stuffed behind his back to prop him up, and he leans back against it and fumbles blindly for the handle of whatever is being handed to him. Someone presses his mug into his hand and he takes it, hand trembling slightly.
He drinks, draining the entire thing before he even realises.
“Oh,” he murmurs, placing the empty mug back down… anywhere. It’s taken from him quickly enough. “Can I get–
“Minhyun?” he blinks blearily. His lover’s face swims into focus.
“Yeah?” the man frowns in concern. “What’s the matter?”
Jonghyun blinks.
“You came back,” he says, simply, “you came back. I thought you wouldn’t.”
“I did.”
“Why did you leave?” he asks, a mysterious clenching feeling in his chest. He hurts. He hurts all over–in his head, the back of his eyes, his heart–
“It was just a work trip, honey,” Minhyun whispers, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead, lingering. His breath smells like whiskey. “We had dinner with Hyunbin, and you’re a little drunk.”
“Oh,” Jonghyun echoes, a little confused, “I thought… I thought…”
“It’s alright, Jonghyun-ah,” Minhyun leans back, setting the cup elsewhere and removing the pillow behind his back. He settles him down again, and Jonghyun turns on his side to watch him carefully. “It was just a dream. Go to sleep, now.”
Minhyun stands and turns off the bedside lamp. There’s something a little changed about this room, Jonghyun realises. There’s something a little different–
–but Minhyun flashes a brilliant smile at him, one of those small, confiding ones, and he relaxes. Everything will be alright. It was just a dream.
Minhyun is reaching the doorway.
“You’re not getting in bed?”
“I will,” Minhyun turns, raising the cup as if to remind him of its existence. “I’ll just wash this. Be back in a second.”
Jonghyun’s eyes are already closing, and he hums. There’s a little click as the door closes, and he starts to drift off again.
MINHYUN
(January 5th, 2028)
On the other side of the door, Minhyun presses his lips together. The hand holding the cup loses strength, as does the feeling in his legs, and he sinks down onto the floor. Setting the cup carefully upright, he lets loose a breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding and leans fully against the door.
It was just a dream.
“Yeah,” he mumbles, pushing himself forward onto his knees. “I wish it was the last time too.” Placing a hand on the wall next to him, Minhyun hauls himself to his feet and snags the cup by his handle off the floor. Moving methodically, he takes measured steps to the kitchen and sets the cup in the sink. He washes it. He sets it on the dishrack, and then he walks back into the guestroom and shuts the door with a gentle click. If he lingers in the hallway, if he moves closer, or if he puts an ear to the door of the master bedroom, he knows he’ll hear the sound of Jonghyun’s snores and puffs of breath.
He changes into his pyjamas and lies down on the bed. It’s a little uncomfortable, a little too soft for his liking. Just like Jonghyun did earlier, he turns on his side, away from the door, and faces the wall.
It was just a dream.
He closes his eyes.
MINHYUN
(Christmas Eve, 2017)
“You know,” he murmurs into Jonghyun’s hair. “If I ask you to marry me, what would you say?”
He’s a little sure that Jonghyun’s fallen asleep already. He’s lost his courage multiple times throughout the day. The first was at the cafe, and he had to shake his head and the server when she came over to ask if they wanted their special Christmas cake. That had been the go signal for the proposal. Instead, he had to shake his head and dart his eyes away shamefully as she raised her eyebrows in curiosity. He leaves her a tip though, and when she passes him the receipt, he realises that she’s written an encouraging note on the back. The second time had been during dinner, the third at the pub where they went for drinks, and the fourth when they came home to have more drinks. He’s had multiple opportunities, and he’s not sure what it is that is stopping him.
“We...can’t…” Jonghyun slurs out. “I can’t.”
Minhyun’s heart stops for a second. He closes his eyes and presses his lips against the Jonghyun's jaw. There’s a slight ringing sound between his ears, and his hands clench. He thinks there’s the taste of blood in his mouth, but he can’t be sure. He can’t be sure that he’s feeling anything at the moment, really. Just a strange sort of numbness that envelops his body, and then his soul, and then his mind. The only thing he’s aware of is the ring in his pocket, not even in a proper ring box. Just a silver ring pressing its circle indent into the skin of his thighs. Burning.
“Don’t,” Jonghyun mumbles, turning over to stuff his face into Minhyun’s chest. The arm that he had laid over him shifts and drops to his side. “Mm.”
Slowly, hesitantly, Minhyun raises his hand to cup Jonghyun’s cheek. It’s soft and warm, and his eyelashes are long and fluttering against flushed skin.
The ringing sound in his head is fading.
“I love you,” he mouths, watching Jonghyun’s eyes dart beneath his eyelids. He’s always been an active dreamer.
Then he removes his arm from his boyfriend’s sleeping frame and gets off the bed.