Chapter Text
It was early in the morning when you started hearing this terrible beeping. Your whole body felt like lead. It was a struggle to open your eyes for they were practically glued shut. When you finally managed to pry them open you were greeted with the bright light of the morning sun. You groan and try to shield the light from your eyes. You hear a voice call out and you see the room dim.
“Y/N. Y/N doll look at me.” The panicked voice said.
You turn your held and slowly open your eyes. You feel your body cool as you dive into the cerulean blue pools looking down at you.
“Buc…mh…. Bucky?” you voice is hoarse and scratchy after a week of silence.
“Yeah Y/N it is me. And Steve is here too. God Y/N you had me so scared.” Bucky pulls you into a gentle kiss.
“Steve? Bucky, Bucky?” you mumble into his lips.
“What happened? Where is Tony and the others!” You ask with anxiety.
“The others were taken to the Raft prison and are still there but we are coming up with plans to rescue them. As for Tony I am not sure sources say he is back at the compound taking care of Rhodey.”
“Rhodey? What happened to Rhodey?” You ask panic making your voice jump an octave. You try to lift yourself higher up on the bed but the sudden movement made you falter as the world blurred around you.
“Y/N doll we need you to calm down you just woke up and Shuri needs you not to wear yourself out.” Bucky says as he gently pushes you back to your bed.
“Exactly Sargent Barnes. Now I am going to have to ask you two to leave while I talk to Lt. Y/L/N.”
You noticed a young woman entering the room. Surprised at her forwardness and ability to command the room full of Soldiers.
“But...” Bucky starts to stammer out.
You grab his hand and reassure him that you are going to be fine. Reluctantly he leaves the room with Steve and you focus on the doctor. You learn that you have be in a coma for over a week. You are expected to make a full recovery in time but you are required to take it slow and attend daily physical training to get your muscles back to normal function.
You thanked her for all your help and she let the boys back in. You could barely fight your emotions for it finally felt like you had your family back which caused an enormous weight to disappear from your shoulders. But you knew that it came at the cost of your new family. You tried not to think about the fractured Avengers and focus on Bucky and healing. It was easier to be distracted throughout the day as the boys kept you moving and engaged. But at night when the boys had to leave your room. The nightmares would return in full force. It was a viscous cycle, your nightmares changing from the old nightmare of first losing Bucky, to fight and killing the Winter solider, then finally facing the wrath of the fractured Avengers. You would wake in a cold sweat with your heart monitor beeping off the charts.
Once you were stable and out of surgery Bucky rarely left your side. Shuri had to force him out of your room every night so he got also heal from the ordeal. Bucky suggested a compromise in the form of the close room to you. Shuri agreed which now came in hand because whenever your nightmares plagued your he was always the first to come into your room and try to calm you down. The first few nights the dreams had been so bad you had no recognition of who or where you were. Your heart rate climed to dangerous levels which forced Shuri to sedate you in order to lower your heart rate back to normal levels. Each time it happened Bucky retreated more and more back into himself. Fearing that he was the source of your nightmares. You told him time and time again that you had forgiven him and that you would go through everything all over again if it meant you had him back.
You were soon released into a normal room that you shared with Bucky. Due to your frequency of nightmares and the mind control that was still seeded in Bucky’s head, Shuri ordered both of you to speak with a Wakandan psychologist to help you heal your minds. Bucky was distrustful, because the last time he talked to a psychologist the Winter Soldier was released. But with your help Bucky began to lower his walls and really trust the doctor. The doctor saw you both as a couple and on your own. Never telling the other what was discussed. For you the Doctor suggested to write letters to the people that you have hurt. She believed it would benefit to put all your emotions on paper in order to work through them. You did what you were tasked to do and realized you wanted to share the letter for Tony with Steve and Bucky.
“Tony, I am glad you are back at the compound. I don’t like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine or Steve’s. Steve and I have been on our own for a while. We never really fit in anywhere. Not even in the army. Our faith’s in people, I guess. Individuals, and I am happy to say for the most part they haven’t let us down. Which is why we can’t let them down either. Locks can be replaced but maybe they shouldn’t. I know that we hurt you. Steve and I felt that by not telling you about your parents we were sparing you. But we can both can see now that we were only sparing ourselves. And we are sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish that we all agreed on the accords. I really do. I know you are doing what you believe in and that’s all any of us can do. It’s all any of us should. So, no matter what. I promise you if you need us. If you need me or Steve. We’ll be there.”
“That sounds great Y/N.” Steve stated.
“I want to actually send it to him. With a burner phone that has our numbers in it. In case there is ever a time he needs us.” You say as you take a seat in front of Bucky whose arms automatically found their place around your torso.
“I think that is a great idea Y/N. I will ask T’Challa to get one and send it out. Also, I am letting both of you know that I am planning on getting out team out of the Raft in a few days.” Steve announced.
“Yes, Steve that is great you know I am almost back to fighting shape. Give me a few more days and I will be right as rain to be your back up.”
“No!” Steve and Bucky say together. Confusion taking over your features.
“Y/N I know you want to help but you need to stay here and get better with Bucky!”
“Yeah, but Steve these are my friends! I have to…” you try and plead trying to break from Bucky’s unwavering grip.
“Y/N stay and get better. They will have a chance to come and see you.” Steve gives you a stern glare and you huff back into Bucky’s chest.
“Fine.” You give a small pout and Steve leaves to get ready.
Steve is gone for a few days, leaving you and Bucky to your own devices. After 70 plus years you can finally just be with him. You never breached the topic of the wedding, because you both knew deep down that it wasn’t the right time. So, you and Bucky just enjoyed the time you had with each other. Embracing the vibrate Wakandan culture by walking the bustling streets and interacting with the locals. Never in a million years would you have thought that you would be able to see this Eden with the man of your dreams. But there was always a catch.
The nights were tough on both of you. If you weren’t having a nightmare, Bucky was. His stemmed from his dark horrors of the Winter Solider and a fear of hurting all he loved. He was making progress with the Psychologist but it was a slow process. It was after a bad nightmare that landed you back in the medical bay with bruising around your neck that Bucky knew the treatment wasn’t working and that something had to change if he truly wanted to get better.
Once you were cleared and Steve returned from his prison break Bucky informed the both of you of his decision to go back into Cryo. He was going back under until they could get Hydra’s control out of his mind. You put up a fight saying that he could get help without going back under. Bucky pointed out that it had been weeks and he still wasn’t getting better and he was at constant risk of hurting you. Eventually you caved in knowing that the sooner he goes back under the sooner he will be free of his torments.
The day finally came. Bucky had left early in order to get prepped for the procedure. You walk with Steve and see him sitting on a table in sweats and a white sleeve-less shirt.
“You sure about this?” Steve asked
“I can’t trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head. I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody.”
Bucky turns to you and his heart breaks even more. There is a glaze on around your eyes while tears burst from their ducts, rolling down your face.
“Come on Doll don’t shed any tears for me. I will be back sooner than you think.” Bucky says in an uncertain voice reaching his hand up to thumb away the tears. You couldn’t help but gasp at the words. They were the same words he spoke to you when he left for the army. You rushed into his arms not caring about the tears staining his shirt.
“You remembered!”
“I don’t remember much but I do remember that, Y/N I loved you then and I love you now. I want to be able to protect you without the fear of hurting you!”
You smile at his declaration and go for another big hug.
“I understand Bucky. I am just going to miss you.”
“Y/N I want you to take this time and plan out the perfect wedding. So then when I come out, I can finally make you the happiest girl in New York or should I now say Wakanda.” Bucky says into your hair.
“Ok Bucky. Just don’t let that big block head of yours take too long. There can’t be a wedding without the groom. You smiled back at him.
The orderly came to inform us that they were ready for Bucky. It was one of the hardest good-byes you have ever done. But you knew that it wasn’t going to be forever. With one final kiss Bucky broke away from you and went back under. You leaned against Steve as he held you close. You couldn’t help but sing the chorus of the song that reminded you of your love while you rocked your locket across your neck.
“In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you
For all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be
There you'll be.”
Steve held you as you sang the tune. He soon brought you out of the room and met with the King. The view from the window was a breathtaking sight. You could see the entire lower city and a giant panther carved into the mountain side.
“Thank you for this.” Steve address the King.
“Your friend and my father there were both victims. If I can help one of them find piece.” The King stated.
“You know if they find out he’s here they’ll come for him and for us.” You stated as a matter of fact.
“Let them try.”
You couldn’t help the smile that came across your face knowing that things are finally coming back together.