Chapter Text
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️
@SpiderStark
Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs
📍 Queens, New York City
15 Following 7.3M Followers
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
In loving memory of my lost blue tick, let's do a little Q&A, a little Ask me Anything! It's what the blue tick would have wanted :(
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
Plus, it will have the added bonus of making Pepper exceedingly angry with me, but with no outlet to express that anger :)
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark Absolutely not. Pepper can't say no but I sure can.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@IamIronMan You're not even my real Dad!
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark Literally could not be more wrong.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@IamIronMan Something an imposter would say #WhoIsMyRealFather
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark Don't make me call @DrPhil, We'll do the paternity test live on air you little shit
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@IamIronMan You say that like its a threat, when in actual fact, it would be a dream come true and lets do it immediately.
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark You don't deserve @DrPhil.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@IamIronMan Maybe you are my Dad, full of empty promises and disappointment.
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark :(
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@IamIronMan
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark :(
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@IamIronMan I'm sorry Dad, please don't be sad
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark :)
War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes
@IamIronMan @SpiderStark Jesus. Get off the internet
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
Well well well, If it isn't Uncle Rhodey, coming to take his slice of the Stark family on Twitter pie.
War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes
@SpiderStark I'm just here for the clout
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@JamesRhodes @SpiderStark You're here because my bouncing baby boy said you should get on Twitter. Don't lie to the internet Sugar Plum.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@JamesRhodes Aw!
War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes
Why couldn't I have been roommates with Elon Musk or something instead of @IamIronMan. I would get called out waaaaay less.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@JamesRhodes I too, often wish I was the illicit love child of Elon musk instead
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@JamesRhodes @SpiderStark Wow. I guess I'll go fuck myself then.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@Peppotts Dad said the fuck word!
Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts
@SpiderStark @IamIronMan Elon would never.
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@ElonMusk Hey musk, want a new family? Mine are traitorous scum.
Elon Musk☑️|@ElonMusk
@IamIronMan Yes.
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@ElonMusk... Papa?
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
Wait! this is a ploy isn't it!? Distract me with @ElonMusk and i'll forget about my Q&A. Nice try @IamIronMan
"I'm not saying that I can't stop you from doing this dumb Q&A, because I could. I could totally stop you." Tony groused.
"Is this a really weird way of saying that you're not going to stop me?" Peter asked, slightly confused.
"No! I'm just saying... that I could stop you! I've been known to actually parent you from time to time, now could be one of those times."
"Um... Is now one of those times? Because I feel like this 'barely parenting me' thing has been working really well for us."
Tony stared at his Son for an extended time, eyes slowly narrowing as he tried to predict what the outcome of this stupid stunt was going to be.
"No... Its not one of those times. But I'm watching you kid, you screw this up and you can bet your bottom dollar that next time I'm gunna be in full Responsible Dad mode and shut your butt down."
"So...Just to clarify, I can do the Q&A?" Peter said slowly, eyes wide.
"Yes. I thought I made that pretty clear, what was confusing about this conversation?" Tony replied with a grin as he watched his sons face light up.
Peter laughed, almost in disbelief, before wrapping his arms around Tony's arso and lifting him up in a crushing hug.
"Put me down! I'm the adult here and this is so unbecoming."
"Yes! You're only going to regret this a little bit dad, I promise!" Peter exclaimed, dropping his Dad back onto his feet and rushing off to his bedroom.
Tony Stood and watched him leave, shaking his head softly.
"'You're only going to regret this a little bit Dad'" Tony mimicked with a grimace.
"How that kid rescues people and puts them at ease, I will never know."
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️
@SpiderStark
Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs
📍 Queens, New York City
15 Following 7.3M Followers
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
Alright! The first Ever 'Ask Spider-Man' is official on, send me some burning questions with #AskSpidey
Back Rolls? |@VenusDeMilo
Face reveal? #AskSpidey
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@VenusDeMilo It's like you want this to get shut down! I'll make it clear, there will be no pictures, no names, no ages and most of all, no scubs.
Panini Head |@stepupkyle
describing what It's like having @IamIronMan as a Dad in one GIF #AskSpidey
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@stepupkyle
Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan
Do your webs come out of your body??? #AskSpidey #IsThatAnOffensiveQuestion?
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@StarkStan God no. That would be yucky... They come out of web shooters that I made :) I'm a clever boy!
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@StarkStan @SpiderStark And modest too.
Detective Popcorn🕵🏽|@mightywhore
Have the other Avengers met you? Was it fully sick? #AskSpidey
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@mightywhore I've met some of them, but only as Spider-Man. As far as I know they found out about me and Tony at the same time as you guys. And yes, it was the coolest and I totally embarrassed myself :)
Judas no | @doctorwhy
I'm gunna assume that your fancy ass Spider-Man suit has some kind of music playing capabilities, so my question is - and it is a very important question: whats your go to music for swinging around NYC? answer very carefully, I will be judging you soley off of this answer. #AskSpidey
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@doctorwhy ...
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@doctorwhy Oh you know... AC/DC... Led Zeppelin... The Beatles... Other respectable artists of that ilk...
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark 🤨
Judas no | @doctorwhy
@IamIronMan @SpiderStark Oh god... It's bad isn't it?
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@doctorwhy I dont have to sit here and defend my taste in music! I'm allowed to like what I like! So what if what i like is the dulcet tones of Taylor Swift????
Judas no | @doctorwhy
@SpiderStark
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark
Taylor Swift☑️ |@TaylorSwift13
@SpiderStark
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@doctorwhy @IamIronMan @TaylorSwift13
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
Ill answer one more question, then I'm going to cry because honestly feeling so attacked right now
Vince Noir |@Rocknrollstar
@SpiderStark Have you always known that Tony Stark was your Father? or was it a recent surprise? #AskSpidey
The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️ |@SpiderStark
@Rocknrollstar I've known pretty much my whole life! I mean I didn't know that he was *Tony Stark* but he was never absent from my life. I will say that his parenting style is... unconventional... so it was best to keep me on the downlow ;)
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@SpiderStark you say I was an 'unconventional' Dad, I say the correct phrasing would be 'Cool' Dad.
War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes
@IamIronMan @SpiderStark As the only person that has been around since the very beginning of Tony's Parenting endeavours, I would like to correct you both. Tonys Parenting style was 'Enthusiastic yet dangerous'
Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan
@JamesRhodes @SpiderStark 'Enthusiastic yet dangerous'
"See Pepper, I made it through the whole Q&A without letting out any secrets!" Peter bragged, batting his eyes at Pepper.
"I admit... It could have gone a lot worse, although, I do have to say that I'm surprised that your not more excited about Taylor Swift tweeting you."
"Taylor swift tweeted me!?" The young man exclaimed, shocked.
"You didnt notice? You tagged her in your reply?"
"I was in the middle of a musical mental breakdown! She could have walked in and Slapped me in the face and I wouldn't have noticed!"
"Peter I worry about you, I really, truly do."