Chapter Text
Walking along the narrow pavement of Hodge Terrace Severus was reeling at this turn of events. Not only did Miss Granger not grab her child and run, she had also allowed him to let him host them for dinner.
How long had they gone without a proper meal, he wondered. Goddamn that husband of hers. If he got his hands on him... And why, oh why had she stayed, like his mother had... Yet the fact that she was brave enough to come along with him had showed that she had some fight left in her, still. He would have to nurture that carefully.
The whole time he had felt a chill run through his body, that had nothing to do with the weather... Ever since she had come face to face with him, he had not been able to sense her magic signature. A cold fear gripped him. Had the same fate befallen her, that had befallen his mother? Trauma so severe, that, coupled with disuse of magic, had led to a loss of magic?
Did he know anyone at St. Mungo's who was doing research on that? Why had he never done so? Was it time for him to stop running from his demons too, and start to face them? The major part of his work with the antivenin department was over, after all... He could set his sights on new projects... If only he could gather the courage to deal with his most secret pain. That was the part of his life the damn papers hadn't dissected ad nauseam and Potter had wisely never asked about.
But glancing over Lorna at Hermione, her shivering frame huddled in her threadbare coat and her matted, dripping caramel-brown hair such a far cry from the confident girl he knew so long ago, he thought: "How can I not? I have been looking for her for 7 years. And Lorna is suffering too, like I once had."
Just then, as if sensing him staring, Hermione raised her eyes from the ground and glanced over at him. Their eyes locked and his heart halted in his chest. And when she smiled and his heart thudded back into life a first crack had been formed in the ice. Caught, he quickly averted his eyes.
At that, fear and pain griped his heart: "Is this what I fear it is? Do pay attention, Severus, girls like her don't fall in love with guys like you. Hasn't history taught you enough? I must not give in to this kind of feeling again, I just can't go through that again... I cannot. Take heed. But maybe the others' teasing insinuations were right, after all you had been looking for her for not one, two, three or four years but seven. No one expected you to. And you would have continued looking."
Steeling himself, he focused on the splash of his boots in the rain, sending ripples across the gutter, as he showed them round the street corner. They had reached Spinner's End at last. At the end of this terrace, they would have finally reached the safely of his home - Molly's dinner sitting heavily in his pocket.
***
She'd never had too much to do with Jack's friends, if she did, then they had grown apart years ago. Whenever she crossed their paths at the local Tesco's - which was rare - they ignored her, as if she was weird scum that was beneath them, not worth a glance. She sometimes had the suspicion that they had tried to tell Jack to leave her and Lorna to their freakish ways and holier-than-thou diction and look for a more normal wife.
She was glad for their dismissive treatment of her though, preferring it to the malicious wagging of tounges. And if she were to leave Jack, she mused, and be seen in public with Snape by one of them, for however long Snape would allow them to stay, they would probably just give them the evil eye, confident in the knowledge of being better, less weird and more normal, than both those weirdos taken together.
Instead of staying in Cokeworth when kindergarden let out, Hermione had preferred to take Lorna to the library in a better neighbourhood, spending their time reading and in reading groups. Both were tight-lipped about home and more personal matters to people they grew closeer with as time went by, but their time at the library helped them gain some space and peace, even if just for a little while. It was there too, listening in on women talking of getting divorces and after teaching herself how to use the internet, that slowly but surely the idea of leaving Jack grew in Hermione.
She had escaped the Snatchers and made it out of the Wizarding World. Surely she could leave Jack and make a new start in the Muggle World too. Seeing the end of Spinner's End grow closer, and emembering her earlier ruminations in the kitchen, she decided that if she had been waiting for a sign to tell her to finally move on with her life, for Lorna's sake and for hers, then, surely, this was it.
Stopping at the last house on Spinner's End, Snape unlocked the door, turned to them and ushered them inside with an inviting gesture. Lorna looked at her and with a nod Hermione allowed her daughter to enter. Passing behind her and passing him Hermione stepped over the threashold and made the decision that yes, she would tell Snape and that yes, she would be determined to not go back.
***
The walk to the end of Spinner's End - as she deciphered the street sign, with the 'd' at the end hidden under persistent dirt - had taken longer than expected, Lorna thought, but she didn't mind, the further away from her father - the better. Now that the rain had stopped she thought she saw the beginnings of trees beyond the end of the street and even the sound of the canal flowing by. What a difference to her part of the neighbourhood, where there was only stone and streets and houses and cars.
Finally stopping in front of the last house, Lorna couldn't believe her luck. Her mother had not changed her mind: turning from her mother's nod, she smiled at the enigmatic Professor and entered Spinner's End no. 89, feeling her mother, her hand resting on her shoulder, behind her.
Seeing the houses look as miserable from the outside as the ones on her street, she was amazed at what she found inside. Threadbare carpeting under her shoes after she finished climbing the stairs, yes, but the walls! Shelves, laden and laden with books, two comfortable looking sofas facing each other, a low coffee table between them, a telly near the opposite wall, both, again, stacked with books. It was heaven.
"I'm afraid it's nothing more luxurious than what you must be used to but at least it's relatively warm," she heard Snape say. "But the books, sir! The books!" she found herself replying with a delighted laugh.
She heard Snape chuckle. "Yes, there's books," he paused, "Not too many are suitable for a young ladies to read but perhaps, after dinner, your mother might help you select one for bedtime reading?" Distracted by the sofa, Lorna pulled off her shoes and ran towards it to let her hand run over it, engrossed by the smooth, soft surface.
***
After a pause Severus added:"Miss Granger?", seeing that she was staring, as if she hadn't heard him the first time.
Hermione broke out of her reverie. "Yes, yes... We can do that. I'm sure that -" she cleared her suddenly tight throat and continued quietly, "there must be a copy of Hogwarts: A History here somewhere, eh?" She turned to look at him with a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. They looked a bit too bright, too, it seemed to him.
"Perhaps you'd like to sit down? Miss Granger? I'll get dinner ready for us." How strange that last sentence sounded, she thought, coming from the mouth of someone else, and directed at her, too. For so long she'd had to bear the burden of responsability all on her own. She felt a bit overwhelmed and light-headed too.
Moving to bend down to untie her shoes, she felt his hands on her shoulders. "If I may - you look a little faint, do stay upright". Bending downwards he untied her laces. She was grateful he did not see her face then. She had to blink back tears at this, a kinder gesture than any she could remember being performed for her in a long time. After seeing him conjure a pair of slippers she toed off her shoes and slipped into them, letting Snape guide her steadily towards the sofa, welcoming the softness of the sofa as she sank into it.
Giving Hermione's shoulder a last reassuring squeeze as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the head rest he called out to Lorna:"Would you like to see some magic whle I set the table? Perhaps you'd like to bring your mother a glass of water too?"
Showing Lorna through to the kitchen he forced himself not to look back at the woman sitting on the sofa. He wondered what the hell was wrong with him - he was not usually this disposed to touching others, much less reassuring touches. And undoing her shoes for her? Merlin's beard!
His last thought before leaving the sitting room was that if his colleagues or the others from the Order knew, they'd surely send him to the Janus Thickey ward for an in depth assessment of whether he'd suffered spell damage. He did feel like she'd put a spell on him - but in a good way that was scary at the same time... Why did he feel strangely warm inside when she smiled at him? Since when did he want to make another person smile and be happy? And this wasn't just any person. Unbelievably enough for him, this was Hermione Granger.