Chapter Text
Marianne could feel herself floating a few centimeters off the ground with the aid of the Force. Submerged in her meditation ritual, her senses extended far beyond herself, yet she felt almost nothing. In her mind, she likened it to submerging herself in water, yet still hearing every echo in the sea. She meditated so that she once again might ask the Force for forgiveness. The Force did not speak to her in any conscious way, but hoped that she might someday interpret its will the same way she did with animals.
A knock at her door shook her out of her reverie and she returned to the floor of her quarters with a thump. Upset at the disruption of her daily ritual, she briefly felt a swell of anger rise and fill her mind. But years of training fought it down and she calmly strode up to the door.
She could sense Lorenz beyond the threshold without looking. He radiated nervousness. Marianne found this odd, as Lorenz usually projected strength and confidence. One reason she enjoyed her time with him stemmed from this fact. His strong emotions and confidence shone out through the Force. Despite his boisterousness, being around Lorenz made Marianne feel calm.
But now he arrived like a wave crashing against her shore and she did not know why. She opened the door a crack and saw a serious expression on the young man’s face.
“Hello Lorenz.”
Lorenz jolted as if he did not expect her to actually greet her.
“Oh! Marianne! I-- I hope I have not interrupted anything!”
“I was only meditating. Why are you here? Have I done something wrong?”
“Not at all. I simply wanted to speak with you. Provided you have time, of course!”
Marianne opened the door wider and stepped back inside her inside her quarters. Lorenz followed her inside and gently shut the door behind himself. For a moment, they merely stared into one another’s eyes. Then Marianne looked away.
“What was it you wanted to say?”
Lorenz’s composure broke for a moment and he stammered the next few words.
“I-- I wanted to speak with you about our time together so far!”
A puzzled expression struck Marianne’s face. Lorenz and Marianne had shared meals together for a while and gone on a few walks since that day she discovered him in the stables, but nothing that occurred during those meetings struck her as particularly significant. Except for the fact that such meetings happened at all. Most other Jedi kept their distance from Marianne and she from them. But Lorenz sought her out and she always welcomed his presence, though rarely with open conversation.
“I wanted to say that, although we have only just started to learn about one another, I find you-- I mean to say that, although we are both Jedi, perhaps we could…”
The words trailed off and Lorenz took a step closer towards Marianne. This made her look up and she suddenly found herself bound by his gaze. His normally proud features resolved into something softer and his expression, while not downcast, no longer held its usual smile.
“I know we have both made oaths to the Jedi Order. Mine comes willingly. Yours does not. But I want to spend more time with you, regardless of any rules or structures that stand between us. If you would have me.”
Understanding dawned in Marianne and she could not help but widen her eyes in shock.
“Lorenz… Are you asking if I will be your… Companion? Romantically?”
“Romantically. Yes.”
Red filled Marianne’s cheeks but still she did not look away. This seriousness that possessed Lorenz made him seem even more attractive. Knowing that he held such depths beneath his blustering surface impression intrigued her. And his lowered voice and nearness made her heart skip with a feeling she could not name.
“I… I think I would like that, Lorenz.”
She expected that Lorenz would shout his excitement and break the spell, but no such outburst came. Lorenz simply took her in his arms and pressed her to his chest. Marianne never realized that his lean form still possessed such firm strength. She felt safe in his arms and exhaled a breath she did not know she was holding. Lorenz spoke softly in her ear, never releasing his arms from her.
“I don’t know what happens next, Marianne. Perhaps they will expel us from the Jedi Order.”
“Only if they discover us. And I wouldn’t mind anyway.”
Marianne reached up with her right hand and ran her fingers through Lorenz’s purple hair. The young man shivered with something other than fear and she could feel his pulse quicken at her touch. She pressed his head towards her own and their lips met in a kiss.
Marianne never kissed anyone before, so she had no context for the sensation she now felt. Lorenz’s lips felt warm and the breath coming from him sent electricity though her skin. He kissed her gently, as if he feared he might break the spell between them. That suited Marianne just fine. She liked this new side of Lorenz. Not the Jedi with dreams of adventure, but a young man with dreams of her.
When they finally broke apart, Lorenz spoke first.
"I-- Thank you, Marianne. For everything."
"You should go before someone discovers you here."
Lorenz nodded and quickly made his way to the door to her room. He turned back towards Marianne.
"I will see you soon. I promise."
In response to his words, Marianne smiled at him for the first time.
"I'm looking forward to it."