Chapter Text
Wait, wait, WAIT !
What did they just hear ? Yasuo couldn’t realize yet, even though he knew he had heard it more than well. Only a few seconds had gone since Yi said these words and left the kitchen in a hurry. Now there was just him and Yone, staring at each other in increasing confusion.
« Oh. Shit. » For once Yone swore, it was in such situation. That was fair.
Shit indeed. It’s true… ? He…loves me ? It was quite surreal because all this time Yasuo had feelings for Yi. Feelings himself thought as useless since Yi never gave any sign of interest in anyone. So yes it was more than surprising to hear him confess feelings, even more because it seemed extremely painful. Enough to develop hanahaki.
Sitting there for a talk had been more than difficult for Yasuo since this was Yone’s idea – that he obviously supported – to get Yi to talk or even help him. Difficult because if Yi was sick, it was because he loved someone that didn’t love him back. Unrequited love. Yasuo knew something about it and it had hurt him so much the day he learned Yi was dying little by little for someone else. So he wasn’t the lucky one. He would never be, unless things weren’t like he had thought.
For all this time – around two weeks – they had tried to make Yi understand the situation, even as they got it he had it worse. They cared, he was part of this tightly knitted trio. And he was Yasuo’s more-than-crush, a very dear friend. Sitting for the talk was horrible because if they succeeded, they would know who Yi loved. Yasuo hated that piece of information but he would rather know Yi healthy and alive, no matter how much it hurt him.
So what a shock when Yi pointed at him when he confessed, looking at him with obvious pain. It was so clear in his eyes, something Yasuo hadn’t seen before. He couldn’t remember a time he had seen the latter lose his calm and this was a lot worse.
Now Yi was gone, silence echoing in the flat after such revelation.
« Wait, Yi ! » Reflex, he called for him after time wasn’t frozen anymore. A wild gaze to Yone, to check that he had heard well.
From his brother’s reaction, he hadn’t dreamed that. It was real, Yi loved him and had gotten sick over him. This sudden thought pierced his heart. Oh no… Hating an oblivious person for some time and now he was that oblivious idiot. How could he have missed that ?
Without thinking Yasuo followed Yi, only a bit later. He could have only gone to his bedroom, since they heard the noise of the door being closed a bit fast. No time for now, he just needed answers. A new spark of hope.
It’s real… ? Imagine feeling worse by the day after seeing his love uncaring about his disease. Was it so true ? Now it was clear Yi had just concealed everything, be it by privacy or fear.
There he was, standing in front of Yi’s door. Yasuo knocked, hoping everything he could that he would be allowed in. At least to confess his side, make sure it was heard in case Yi did love him. He wouldn’t have ran away if it wasn’t the case, if couldn’t possible be faked that much. Anxiety dicdated to doubt everything but this did feel genuine.
« Yi, please. Let me in. » Yasuo had to stay calm, getting too happy for nothing would be terrible. Plus Yi was hurting, it worried him so much to do the slightest mistake.
No answer. As if there was no one inside. It burned Yasuo seriously to stop being polite for a second and come in without being invited to. No. This was the perfect way to be pushed away.
« Yi…I know you’re here. »
Small noise alerted him but it was just Yone, looking at him from the corridor in a similar state of panic. Yasuo didn’t want this to go worse if there was one more person around so he gestured Yone to stay back a little, at least for now. Please.
It seemed understood. Yone stayed where he was standing, far but close enough to hear how it was going. Yasuo focused back on the task at hand. He had to confess, this seemed the only right thing to do.
Another knock to the door. Yi had to be listening, no way to ignore this. Despite himself Yasuo ended up leaning against the door, a bit scared about the whole thing. It was almost certain to be mutual and yet that tiny risk made him so worried to fuck up.
Something came up on the other side of the door, loud coughing that couldn’t be muffled much. So yes Yi was still here, surely able to listen to him. Furthermore it hurt Yasuo to know he was possible the cause for such pain. But why would Yi even think this was unrequited ?
Once it calmed down he spoke again, trying his best to phrase it well. It would be a shame if he did poorly.
« Hey, Yi…Is it true ? You love me ? I just wanna check because…you know what ? I love you too. » It ended on a small laugh because Yasuo sure felt like an idiot, more than anxious. He tried really hard not to glance at Yone.
Next silence was probably the worst he had to endure in his entire life. Meanwhile his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. This was too much. Please… Just an answer, a yes if possible. That was all he wanted.
Than the miracle happened, Yi spoke loud enough tobe heard on the other side : « That’s kind of you but you don’t have to. Please leave me alone. » Oh the tone was so painful, it could be that Yi had cried or was still crying.
Is that a joke ?? Yasuo couldn’t be sure, was it true ? He just confessed and Yi managed to take it as if it was some pity.
« No, please ! Yi, I don’t know what you think but it’s true. I love you…I thought you just never cared in this way about anyone. » He got a bit emotional now, it felt like it was far from done, not even guaranted.
No answer for a time, enough to scare Yasuo to death. And then Yi spoke again, tone about to break again : « You…you love me too… ? »
How heartbreaking. It sounded like the most unhoped for thing in this world. As if Yi had given up times ago.
« More than everything…Do you even know how glad I was to at last study here and live with you two ? Yi, I love you so much… »
Please open the door… It was killing him softly. So close and yet so far.
Another cough from the other side, breaking slightly the silence. Yasuo and Yone shared a gaze for a time, both quite worried about all this. Help…
It was almost a surprise when Yi opened the door after everything calmed down. So slowly and yet it made Yasuo react as quick, a lot of anticipation running his body in this instant.
Oh shit, oh shit.
The door wasn’t fully opened, Yi stood there supporting him faintly against it. Looking straight at Yasuo with teary eye and a lot of exhaustion. This was both the disease and the latest emotions.
Frozen there. Yasuo didn’t know what to do, was he allowed inside ?
« Yi… ? »
Oh it was such a dear feeling to see Yi smiling shyly and yet so scared, so emotional. Yasuo couldn’t remember a single time he had seen as many signs of vulnerability from his dear friend, it made him so touched.
« So you… ? »
Confirmation. A small gesture made toward Yasuo, just as he got enough for everything and came into the bedroom. Right where he wanted. His only reflex was to kiss Yi, more than cautious as he did but too eager for his own good. He saw it, Yi’s gaze that got a little wide when they were in such distance, just before the kiss. Now he clung to Yasuo dearly, returning the kiss with a need that couldn’t be made up. Yes…
It didn’t last a lot, this was all Yasuo wanted. To see if it was alright, what they both wanted for so long. When he parted Yi didn’t stop clinging to him, reminding him suddenly that indeed the latter was still very sick and couldn’t stay up of too long.
« Oh wait, fuck…Come here. » Within seconds he half led, half carried Yi with him until his bed.
As soon as they reached it the latter sat down as exhausting and illness seemed to make him a bit miserable beyond the deep conversation. Contact wasn’t lost though. Yi kept his hands over him, clutching at his shirt to have him stay. The final straw was that slightly desperate gaze, still filled with the tears that hadn’t fallen yet.
« Hey hey hey, it’s fine, it’s fine… Lie down, it will be better. »
« N-No, it’s alright. Just stay here please… »
It took some time for Yasuo to register this light shaking, not just the latter. His hands trembled so faintly, just as his heart raced. Unable to resist he stayed right there as asked, sitting by Yi’s side while they now resumed contact.
Following this need to check and feel, Yasuo cradled the latter’s face. It was real, as much as these tears that had trailed down Yi’s face.
« Yasuo…Thank you so much… » He covered Yasuo’s hands with his, warm contact that got his attention.
« No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know… »
Whatever he might say was cut off by another kiss, at least as urgent as the first. It was wonderful to feel Yi want to so much, embracing him to make sure he wouldn’t go. His moves remained a little weak because of the disease but the intention was present, the most beautiful thing. Yasuo melted into that kiss, doing his best to focus and give back everything but he was just a man, emotions got to strong. He risked to cry too, for the frustration and sadness of these latest weeks.
Barely the time to breathe between each kiss and yet it was too perfect to stop it. If only they could do that forever. The only issue was that Yi seemed increasingly tired, his response in the kiss getting slower. Yasuo stopped this as gently as he could though himself got a lot going on.
When they parted Yi looked at him a bit surprise, surely for the tears, and he brushed these away as it fell. Precious…
« It’s fine, not your fault. Just, can you say it again ? Please… ? » So desperate for words and legitimate to feel so.
« I love you, Yi. I love you so much…Now you have to rest, please, be careful… » With a lot of care Yasuo gave a good peck to his cheek before coaxing Yi to lie down, pushing the blanket away.
« I love you to…Just please don’t leave me… » Even after lying down Yi found a way to cling to him, the smallest of contact possible.
I would never do that…
« Of course not…Ahh, please, I have to do the dishes, can I just go quick and come back ? I swear I won’t take long but Yon already made lunch, I can’t dodge this. Please Yi, I just want to stay here… » A bit much but Yasuo was as desperate to stay. This was so new.
Yi didn’t seem mad, just a bit shaken by all this. He spoke again, making an obvious effort to be heard : « It’s alright, go…I’ll wait for you… »
Even now that he got ‘permission’ to go Yasuo was a bit reluctant to do it. He leaned quickly to kiss Yi once more, something meant to be chaste and sweet. Once it was given he stood and returned to the kitchen, still gazing at Yi before he got out of the bedroom. The small waving goodbye killed him once more.
Ahhh oh my god…It’s true….
It repeated again and again in his mind, words that he had thought were impossible to hear from Yi. It was so perfect. A bit too happy Yasuo made it to the kitchen, only to find Yone already taking care of the dishes.
« Hey wait, it’s my turn. »
« Nah, I’ll take care of it. You two need some time and space, shoo ! Make sure he’s doing fine. » Yone said that quite seriously but it was clear he was more than thrilled about all this. Surely he didn’t know exactly how it was but he had heard and seen enough to know it solved.
No way for Yasuo to refuse that, every time he was allowed to skip chores he seized it. Back to Yi’s room with a lot more anticipation than he should be allowed.
« Heyyyyyy ! I’m back, Yone told me to leave it ! » Merry mood despite his dried tears and previous fears. He closed the door of the bedroom after him and returned to Yi like a happy puppy.
Nothing could heal him more than to see Yi opening his arms to welcome him closely, actively pulling him in bed despite his lack of strengths at the moment.
« Owww, careful…I’m back, I’m back… »
« Thanks… » It ended up quite muffled in their embrace but all too dear.
Next step seemed to get in bed too, given the way Yi clung to him until Yasuo had to lie down. More than happy to comply he sneaked his way under the blanket, so endeared to feel that loving embrace close around him.
He was about to comment on that but Yi got yet another fit of coughing, tensing a lot to the point of clutching at Yasuo’s shoulder a bit strongly. Oh fuck. A few petals escaped Yi’s hand so he picked it, taking care to put away where the latter obviously piled it up. As it slowly calmed down he held Yi closely, rubbing his back to soothe as he could the light burn.
« Shhhhh…it’s alright… » As much for Yi than himself because it made him a bit sad to see the latter suffer from this disease. So he did what he had been waiting to do for a long time, sweet talking : « All fine cutie…honey darling… »
Maybe a bit too early but Yasuo thought it was fitting for the moment. He needed to help Yi, be it with gentle words. Soon enough the latter seemed fine, relaxing a little as he closed that final distance to snuggle against Yasuo.
Ohhhhh…
« Thank you, love… » It was whispered so close, basically to Yasuo’s ear.
« All good, all good…. » Difficult to stay composed after that. A real struggle. In any case he did it, focusing instead on the warm presence of Yi against him.
Gentle moves and sweet words remained. Now it was loud and clear, they loved each other. He couldn’t have been happier when Yi shifted so slightly their position to nuzzle his neck.
The most perfect nap.