Chapter Text
May 26, 2014
Michael insisted I keep a journal to track my thoughts. Said it'd help keep me company. Gabriel laughed at the idea and called it girly. Lucifer bought me a blank Moleskine. I don't understand why Michael wanted me to keep one, but I suppose there's no harm. It does feel like I have someone to converse to, even when I'm not talking per-say. Tonight's my first night alone in my new apartment. It feels odd not having Gabriel tearing through my door every five minutes to ask where Father kept the cookies.
May 27, 2014
Michael dislikes my new job. He said that the service industry are for the poor, uneducated barbarians, as he so eloquently put. I quite like my new job though. It pays well, and I get to draw all sorts of interesting people in my spare time. Of course, that also means having to wait on insufferable individuals, but a lifetime of suffering being Gabriel's brother was not for naught. There are also two new tennants in the room across mine. They seem nice.
Update: They are not nice. My new neighbors, Meg and Ruby Masters along with their mother Lilith are quite the miserly trio. They call me Clarence for some odd reason. Also I have been somewhat conned into doing their chores for them. Hannah tells me I'm too nice. Anna says I'm a pushover. I don't think I should seek my brother's counsel for this particular problem.
May 29, 2014
I think I made a new friend. Or acquaintance. Pamela Barnes seems like a nice girl. She's friendly and popular among customers and staff. She's also creepy psychic. She told me we'd be a really great couple if not for the face that I like guys. I don't even know what gave it away. It's like she just peered into my mind. I'm sure my siblings (sans Michael) would love her though.
June 4, 2014
Been a week. Too tired. Now I have both day and night jobs, thanks to the Masters. Meg somehow knows how to pick locks and the three of them often come over for breakfast. And by breakfast, I mean breakfast for them and scraps of leftovers for me. I'd consider moving out but there's this man at work I can't keep my eyes off. He has the greenest eyes. Michael would scold me for being so shallow, but he's the only reason why I even bother staying here and putting up with my neighbours's crap.
June 8, 2014
His name is Dean (or at least, that's what Pamela said). He has really nice freckles. He's also a nice person who tips really well.
June 9, 2014
Dean is probably straight. Somehow I wish he wasn't.
June 10, 2014
I'm pinning over a man who does not even know of my existence. I can already imagine Lucifer and Gabriel's mocking tones.
June 11, 2014
He smiled today. Not at me, but I wish I had taken a picture anyway. I don't think my sketch can capture the beauty of his smile. This Moleskine is beginning to resemble that of a hormonal teenage girl's. I only pray that no one reads this, ever. I'm gonna have this journal burn with me when I die. I swear it on my mother's grave.
June 12, 2014
Dean didn't come today. Nothing new, I suppose. It's not like he has to be at the restaurant everyday. I just wish he were.
June 13, 2014
No Dean today. Green reminds me of him now. I called Hannah about it. She laughed at me and told me I'd get over it or it'd get over me. I'm not sure how to reply to that. Anna was even less of a help, and god forbid I ask my brothers. I hate how the pages are starting to be filled with Dean.
June 14, 2014
Michael called. Said he got engaged and thought I'd like to know. I can't believe he's getting engaged. Since when did Michael have a girlfriend? I've only been gone less than a month. Hannah tells me he's had a girlfriend for years. How can I not notice that, seriously.
June 15, 2014
I hate my job. Some customer thinks because I'm "just a waiter" means he can get away with disrespect. Here's a sketch of said customer. I abhor him with a burning passion of a million suns.
June 16, 2014
I have accepted the fact that Dean had probably either grown tired of our food, moved out of town, or found out about my disturbing, secret admiration for him. Doesn't mean I need to stop sketching him.
June 17, 2014
Day off, gone to the library to find the tallest man I've ever seen in my life, and quite possibly the most polite one too. We talked about various subjects from classic literature to human rights and respect. He was an interesting man, but his eyes keep reminding me of Dean. They're almost the same shade, only Dean's are a little brighter. Like the way the sun shines on the grass to make it just a little brighter than usual. I tell Hannah this. She tells me to get laid.
June 18, 2014
It's raining really hard tonight. Weather man says a storm's coming. No shit Sherlock. I toast smores on my stove. They remind me of Dean's hair. He has toasted marshmallow hair. I'm willing to bet it feels just as soft. I'm forgetting what he looks like. My sketches are slowly becoming the only memory of his features.
June 19, 2014
How do you not get over someone you barely even know?
June 20, 2014
Sometimes I wonder why the Masters don't just hire a housekeeper. I dislike having to do all their chores, yet I find myself doing them anyway. I should probably stop.
June 24, 2014
I told the Meg to do her own laundry when she shoved her basket at me after breakfast today. She seemed impress that I was finally "growing a pair". I thought she'd yell or scream or something. Ruby only rolled her eyes and Lilith announced loudly that she still wouldn't be doing her own. Meg's actually surprisingly fun to draw. Her facial expressions are amusing.
June 26, 2014
Meg is quickly growing to be what seems to be my only friend in the city. You'd think a month would be more than enough time for me to go and socialize. I told her about Dean. She laughed at my misery and told me I was way in over my head falling for a Winchester. I've wasted a page trying to copy Dean's shade of green.
June 27, 2014
Meg sometimes sleep over. She has also read my journal. She told me how boring my life was and that she'd spice it up for me. I have a feeling I'm going to regret ever welcoming her into my apartment. Speaking of welcoming people to my apartment, Mrs. Moore (the landlady) asked me if I didn't mind having a flatmate. I tell her I don't. I just hope it's not Gabriel.
June 30, 2014
Saying yes to a new flatmate turned out to be either the best or worst decision of my life. Guess who.
Dean. dean deaN deAN dEAN DEAN DEAN DEAN.
I think I might just loose it. He's sleeping in the room next to mine. Or at least, I think he's sleeping. I hope he's sleeping. I called Hannah. She told me to "be myself and remember to use protection". Gee thanks Hannah, that helps a fuck ton. I still can't believe I'm sharing an apartment with a guy I've been pining for for weeks! Mrs. Moore says he'd only be here a few weeks, or maybe a couple of months. I don't know if that piece of information should make me feel better or worse. Somehow, sharing a room with Gabe doesn't seem so bad anymore.