Chapter Text
It was a relief to finally be going home, to be getting out of the hospital. Jaebeom had been in there almost three weeks and it had felt like a lifetime. Jinyoung was firmly attached to his side as they ducked into the van, an arm around his waist even though his legs worked just fine. He was taking his new (well, not so new, just increased responsibilities) of caretaker very seriously. He was the only reason Jaebeom got to go home to his apartment, and not to his parents. Jinyoung (and the other members) had convinced his mother to let them look after him, keep an eye on him. He loved his mother, his step-father, but Jaebeom had no desire to go to his family home and be fussed over for a month. His home was here, his work was here, it was where he wanted to be.
She couldn't say no to their promises to make sure he would be okay. The fact that Jinyoung would live with him in the meantime made her decision all too easy in the end (of course, she didn't know that Jaebeom intended to use that to his utmost advantage and make up for lost time, but that was beside the point).
Jaebeom glanced behind him, Youngjae laughing loudly as Bambam piled the bags into Yugyeom's arms and jumped into the van. He grinned cheekily, ignoring the shouts behind him and Jaebeom just shook his head. It was good to see them smile again, to see the worry in their eyes disappear little by little. Things had mostly returned to normal, but it had taken time. The accident had shaken them, and Jaebeom knew none of them would forget the aftermath any time soon. Maybe they never would. Jaebeom knew he wouldn't, he would never be able to get the look on all of their faces out of his mind. Both the first time they had visited, and the second.
The first, they had been too scared to get close, to wake up Jinyoung after he had worn himself out completely.
Jaebeom loved them all that little bit more for that.
The second, they had still been too scared to get close, afraid they might hurt him.
Everyone was quiet, too quiet. It made Jaebeom anxious, no one saying anything, no one daring to come closer. His eyes flickered to Jinyoung but the other didn't seem worried, his eyes were calm and Jaebeom took a breath. He took in his members again. He might have seen them the night before, but that didn't seem to have been enough to soothe them, to reassure them.
It was Youngjae that broke first, bursting into tears. Jaebeom held his good arm out for a hug and Youngjae had gone to him immediately. Their so-called favourite child (he had happily taken up that title himself, using it to his utmost advantage when he could) sobbed and sobbed until his face was swollen, his cheeks wet.
Jackson stood behind him, rubbing a soothing hand across his back even though he too had cried. He tried not too, Jaebeom could tell, but when Youngjae finally pulled away long enough for Jackson to get a turn, he had given in. It must have been hard on him, finding out the news while overseas.
"Don't ever do that again," he warned, his voice even lower than usual. Jackson pulled away, shaking his head. "You scared the shit out of us."
"I know," said Jaebeom, "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologise," said Mark, pulling a chair from the other side of the room and sitting as close to the bed as he could. He was the only one that would sit on the side that had been injured the most, the side that screamed in pain whenever Jaebeom moved too much. The elder knew that though, his hands rested gently on his cast, a soft smile on his face. He seemed content enough just being there, and Jaebeom was content enough just having him there. "It wasn't your fault, we're just glad you're okay."
Jaebeom gave him a small smile, before his eyes drifted to their two youngest members. Neither had made any move to come closer, the pair of them hovering at the end of his bed, unsure what to do with themselves. It hurt to see them so lost, so scared of doing the wrong thing, of hurting him. They were always so bright, so energetic. Jinyoung moved then, wrapping himself around Bambam, his head resting on his shoulder as Yugyeom inched closer. Jackson and Youngjae shuffled aside as Jaebeom tried to wave their youngest to his side. Yugyeom frowned, the tears slipping down his face again.
Jaebeom sighed, "Come here, Gyeom-ah, hyung wants to give you a hug."
He still hesitated, but Jaebeom coaxed him close enough to grab his arm and tug him forward. It had hurt, but Yugyeom didn't see his face scrunch up in pain, the younger already burying his head into his side. Jinyoung shot him a scolding look, but Jaebeom didn't regret it. It had been worth it to bring Yugyeom closer, to smash through that last barrier that held them apart. Jaebeom hushed him, rubbing circles on his back as he cried yet again. Bambam couldn't hold back this time, Jaebeom saw the tears that escaped his eyes. He tried to brush them away, but they just kept coming. Jinyoung held him tightly, whispering soft words of comfort as he shuffled them closer.
"Hyung..." said Bambam, his voice thick.
"Don't cry, Bam-ah," Jaebeom said, his eyes soft. "It's okay, I'm okay, I promise."
"Liar," Yugyeom muttered into his blankets, his hands clinging onto Jaebeom.
Jaebeom chuckled, "Who said it was a lie, brat? I didn't say I was 100%, I just said I was okay. Even better now that you guys are all here."
"We wouldn't be anywhere else," said Jinyoung, softly. Their eyes met and Jaebeom softened, the sheer amount of love he felt almost choking him. He had Jinyoung, he had the rest of his family here with him. He knew his mother would visit, would bring him food and fuss over him. Everything would be okay, Jaebeom wasn't worried whatsoever.
"I know."
Bambam sniffled, his eyes red. He looked between them, suspicious. He knew them too well, they all did. "Are you two dating now?" he questioned.
Mark looked amused, Youngjae and Jackson leaned that little bit closer, Yugyeom raised his head. Jaebeom rolled his eyes, "So much for telling them later," he said.
Jinyoung shrugged, "I'm not surprised." He tilted his head, giving Bambam a look. "But you didn't have to say anything."
The younger grinned, and the sight made Jaebeom smile, despite himself. The atmosphere felt lighter, the heavy cloud that hovered over them starting to disappear. The rawness still remained, that lingering worry and fear but it didn't feel so suffocating now. Bambam looked comfortable in Jinyoung's arms, clearly not inclined to move away from them. "Hyung, it was my duty to ask. After all the pining you've put us through, it was only fair," he said.
Jinyoung pinched him, and Bambam yelped. "And that was my duty," said Jinyoung, serenely.
Youngjae and Yugyeom laughed, Bambam shooting them each looks of betrayal. Jaebeom just smiled, settling deeper into his bed, watching his members fondly. This was better, this felt normal. Yugyeom still clung to his hand, but he didn't mind. If it made him feel better, then he could hold onto him for as long as he liked. Jaebeom didn't think it was possible, but somehow this accident had brought them all even closer together. After this, there would be nothing that could break them apart, he was sure of it.
They were stuck with each other forever now, and Jaebeom wouldn't have it any other way.
"Hey," called Jinyoung, softly, "Where were you?"
Jaebeom turned his head to look at him, a smile on his face. "Just thinking." Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, but Jaebeom didn't elaborate any further, his hand tightening around his. He rested his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes.
He could still hear Youngjae laughing, Bambam cackling, Yugyeom complaining. He could hear Mark trying to calm them all down. Jackson hadn't come with them to pick him up, he had gone with his mother instead to help her stock his apartment up on "necessary supplies". He wasn't an invalid, he could move, he could leave the house, but he would let her fuss if it made her feel better. Even if he couldn't do those things, Jinyoung would be there.
There was a spare room in his apartment, one that Jaebeom had no doubts would be filled often with the unannounced arrivals of his members (not Jinyoung, Jinyoung wouldn't need the spare room).
He still had a long way to go in his physiotherapy, he was only just starting to heal properly and it was only in the last week that his brain felt like it was getting back to normal, felt like it could keep up with everything again. But Jaebeom wasn't worried, after everything that had happened, he was just happy to be going home. He was happy to have Jinyoung by his side (closer then ever), he was happy that the kids had started to mess around again, their voices loud, their smiles bright, he was just happy.
There would be bad days, of course there would. He'd had more then a few while in the hospital and he would have even more now that he was out but today, at this moment, he was happy. Jaebeom opened his eyes, meeting the curious gaze of Jinyoung. He felt lighter then he had in a long time, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Jinyoung, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Am I that handsome?"
"Yes," Jaebeom answered, immediately.
Jinyoung rolled his eyes, squeezing his hand. "You're an idiot."
He smiled, "Love you."
The delight that danced across Jinyoung's face was worth hearing the groans and muttering from the kids in the seat behind them. Yugyeom complained loudly as Mark closed the doors and hopped into the drivers seat. Jaebeom ignored them, his attention solely on Jinyoung. He could see the other holding himself back, unwilling to be too intimate where others could see, where anyone could take a photo and post it online. Still, the smile on his face was enough for Jaebeom for now, at least until they got home.
"I love you too," said Jinyoung, beaming.
"Yes, yes, we all love each other," interrupted Yugyeom, "But I swear if you guys start making out in front of me, like... not just now, but ever, I will vomit. I don't need to see my parents doing that kind of stuff."
"Seconded," said Bambam.
Jinyoung turned in his seat, swiping at the two of them. The pair avoided him, but the way his eyes glinted should have been warning enough. "Guess you won't be able to come over that often then, we have a lot of stuff-" He said the word far too suggestively. "To catch up on."
Their faces twisted in disgust. "Hyung," whined Bambam, "Don't say that, you're gonna make us nauseous. Jaebeom-hyung, tell him to stop, you're going to let us visit aren't you?"
"Of course," said Jaebeom, diplomatically. "Just... maybe make sure you call first."
Bambam pulled another face, and Jinyoung laughed heartily, pleased, as he turned back around to face the front. Mark chuckled, glancing at them in the mirror and sending a wink their way. Youngjae seemed far too focused on his phone, refusing to look back at them. Jaebeom let out a happy sigh, the throb of his injuries almost non-existent. For a moment, he had forgotten he even had any injuries. He had forgotten that three weeks ago he had almost died, the members going out of their minds with worry. For a moment, it had just felt like any other day. A day where the sun shone, where he felt happy and content. There was no stress, no worry, just warmth and happiness.
Being an idol was hard, the schedules were hard, privacy near impossible, but Jaebeom wouldn't change it for the world. It gave him the family he had now and no matter how hard it got, he could never imagine a world without them in it.
Never, ever.
(Even in his head, he heard them all singing the line, their voices blending together perfectly).
Jaebeom smiled, his smile widening further when Jinyoung caught his eyes and closed what little space there was between them. His head rested on his good shoulder, the younger of them taking in a deep, steady breath. Jaebeom followed his lead, relaxing into his touch completely.
This was definitely the only life he would ever want. Everything else was worth it, just for this.