Chapter Text
She didn't call him yesterday.
Or the day after that.
Amane cracks his bloodshot eyes open; with his cell phone in one hand and a cold can of beer in the other he dials her number.
It didn't even ring.
Amane took a swig of the cold beverage, hoping that the burning liquid help distract his agitated mind.
The cheap liquor spreads like wild fire in his stomach; warm and intense. It's bitter as hell but it flooded his brain with much needed endorphins so he didn't give the taste much thought. However, his drunken euphoria didn't last long, it crumbles the moment he remembers the event that spiralled him into such a pathetic state.
It happened two days ago, he was walking towards the school gate; now that he thinks about it he doesn't even know how he got there in the first place, but it wasn't really matter of why's and how's, but a question of who he saw.
It was him.
Kou Minamoto, Nene's boyfriend, her significant other, whatever you call him, he was there standing beside the school gate. He caught Amane's attention, what is he doing here? Amane barely knows him but isn't he supposed to be in another school? He kept pondering until he remembers Nene's phone call earlier, maybe they were planning on meeting up.
And as if on cue she emerges from nowhere and ran towards him with open arms. Amane couldn't hear what they were talking about, but they were all over each other and they look very happy.
He watched...
Hidden behind a tree he was rooted in place, the scene in front of him felt surreal, like a dream, no— a nightmare; maybe if he reaches out his hands the scene would vanish, he prayed it does, but it didn't.
The reality of their situation came crashing down on him like a ton of bricks, Kou doesn't need to hide behind closed doors just to be with her, unlike Amane who could only hold her in the confines of his bedroom. Kou could scream his love for her out in the open, while Amane could barely raise his voice above a whisper.
They have the privilege to bask in the glory of the sun together, while Amane hides; shrouded in darkness. And isn't that what he's doing right now? Concealing himself behind the shadow of a tree— pathetic, it wasn't fair. Amane loves her the same maybe even more than Kou, so why can't he hold her like that without the fear of being caught?
His racing thoughts burn him, he didn't know how such intense feelings of jealousy could be directed at someone who's basically a stranger. He wanted to run.
But his feet were too heavy, so he stands in the dark and watched.
Nene must've felt his gaze burning a hole through her because she started whipping her head side to side, searching. The weight on his body vanishes and he runs away to his car before she got the chance to see him.
He drove around the city with no certain destination in mind, the strangers on the road became a blur, a mass of unrecognizable faces, the streetlights twinkle— hypnotising him . He didn't know how long he was driving but he stopped by a convenience store and bought a crate of beer. It was already night fall when he returned to his apartment with the box of unbranded liquor.
He was too intoxicated to remember what happened after that, did he sleep? Probably, but not on his bed, no, his drunken state found the sofa in his living room much more comfortable than his bed, Nene isn't in the bedroom so it doesn't really matter.
He's not even sure if she'll come back...
Amane dials her again, it went straight to voicemail. She's usually the one calling him when she wants to meet up, and it's not unusual for her to not message Amane for a day or two, but he needs assurance that she's not throwing him away yet.
An assurance that he knows he doesn't deserve. He's the other guy, the fraud, the boy Yashiro keeps to warm the other side of her bed, she doesn't need to promise him anything.
Stability is not something he's guaranteed. She could walk out of his life any moment without even saying goodbye— maybe she already did. Maybe that's why she's not calling him, she's probably enjoying her time with Kou— she forgot about him.
Amane empties the contents of his beer in one gulp, the alcohol stews in his stomach, he would have been lulled to sleep if it wasn't for his door making loud banging noises. He realized that someone was knocking and it was Yashiro's face that first came to his mind, he felt relief and panic wash over him — she's back, but she wouldn't be happy seeing him like this. So he tried to clean up and pick the discarded cans on the floor, but it made him dizzy so he gave up and staggered towards the door, he can't make her wait; he'll fix this up later.
"You-you're not.... Shiro'..." His face fell and his smile vanishes.
"Who the hell is that??" Akane pushes past him and invited himself to the living room.
"You were drinking? Is this why you're not attending classes??" He scrunches his nose.
"How did you get here?"
"You're the one who called me six in the morning, you sound sick, I thought you were dying" Amane didn't remember calling him, but he wasn't sure, he's so drunk right now anything could happen.
Akane primly sits on a beige armchair. The first thing he noticed aside from the cans on the floor and the beer stained carpet was Amane, who was now lying listlessly on the sofa. He doesn't understand why he's being like this; he rarely drinks since he doesn't want to turn out like his drunkard of a father.
He thought of everything that might push him into such a disarray, but Amane doesn't have any problems in his classes, Akane thought of mentioning his twin brother— Tsukasa, but ever since that incident in highschool, Amane would avoid topics regarding him.
Helpless, Akane tries to coax an answer from Amane but he remained quiet ang ignored him, finding the ceiling much more entertaining to look at.
"What about Shiro who's that?" He recalls the name he mentioned earlier.
"You know her..." Amane perks up and spares him a glance.
"I don't, can't you just tell me?" He removes his glasses and wiped the lens with his shirt.
"Big ankles..."
Akane immediately nods in recognition, if he's not mistaken it's Yashiro Nene he's talking about, she's the only girl he knows with remarkably thick ankles.
However, it doesn't make sense, Yashiro is an art student and she shares classes with Aoi how did Amane even meet her? Sure he's friendly and wouldn't shy away from company, but Amane couldn't be bothered to talk to anyone who doesn't share his passion for astronomy.
And as far as Akane knows Nene is not an astronomy junkie.
Amane presented him the answers to the puzzle but somehow the pieces don't fit, something's missing, he's hiding something.
Akane's already used to his secretive nature, he's been like that since they were in highschool, but his reserved attitude would cause him to bottle up his emotions until he enters a catatonic state where he would refuse to communicate to anyone. Akane tries to avoid that situation as much as possible.
"I do know her..."
"Did you do something?" He added, trying to hide accusatory tone in his voice
"I fcked up.." Amane mutters, this talk with Akane is making his head hurt, it's making him think about her and that's not what he wants to do right now, so he reaches for a can of beer to drown away his thoughts but Akane was quick, he easily snatched the container before he could even touch it.
"You need to stop Amane" He placed the can away from him before running a frustrated hand over his rust colored hair.
"You're such a kill joy..."
It's useless to talk to him when he's being like this, Akane rolls his eyes at his childish remark and vanished in the kitchen, he returned with a glass of water that he forced Amane to drink; the raven haired boy glares at him before mumbling a small thank you.
"Are you calm now? Can you tell me why you're doing this? I know you Amane, you know your limits— you don't drink yourself into oblivion. Something wrong happened with Yashiro that you're not telling me"
Amane frowns at his friend, he wouldn't consider what happened between the two of them wrong, it wasn't a mistake. They both wanted it; he gave her permission to enter his life, he would never regret taking the chance he took just to be with her. Even if it meant his own undoing
Amane straightens himself on the sofa, the glass still clasped in his hands. He guiltily glances at Akane who was patiently waiting for his reply.
"I met her at the school garden..." He started
His mind was still hazy because of the alcohol and lack of sleep but he could still vividly remember what happened that day, and not even a gallon of trashy beer could burn the images away.