Chapter Text
It’s silly, Jeongguk knows. How is it that he, a big human, is scared of a microwave, a little metal appliance that serves to heat up food? It’s not really a justified fear to have because Jungkook knows microwaves can’t explode. But every time something is put into that small devil machine, Jeongguk feels the urge to flee.
Back when they had just debuted, they barely had time to eat at home, always at the studio, practice rooms or attending shows to try and get their name out. Their staff had always been in charge of their diets and the images they must maintain however now they’ve finally loosened the tight reins, entrusting the members to feed themselves when they were home.
Every time Jeongguk heats up leftovers, he pushes it into the microwave, setting it to start before running away into the adjacent room. His ears stay alert for any signs that the microwave has exploded except each and every time there’s only the finishing beeps notifying him that the food is ready.
Jeongguk hasn’t had a bad experience, at least not one that he remembers. It’s an odd fear to have, weird even, something that appears to have stemmed from nothing, which is why he keeps it to himself.
Surprisingly, it’s been a couple of years already and the hyungs have yet to find out. Jeongguk has always managed to somehow get away with garbled excuses that are quickly forgotten or lost in the midst of their chaotic life. He doesn’t really know why he doesn’t tell them. He’s not scared they’ll judge or tease him about it.
It’s just, he’ll probably get over it one day, right? One day maybe when he’s older and hopefully wiser, this could just be a fond and funny memory to look back upon.
The hyungs didn’t need to know. Jeongguk doesn’t want them to worry, really, it’s just a silly little fear.
~~~
Jeongguk thinks it’s going quite well. They’ve been given a week break and everyone’s been spending their time either at home or at the studio. They always eat dinner together, usually takeout, but breakfast and lunch are a different case, they’re taken care of separately.
Being one of the last ones to get up, the kitchen and dining room are generally empty when Jeongguk decides to drag himself out of bed at the tenth growl of his stomach. His routine, if he doesn’t lazily opt for an apple, consists of pulling out last night’s leftover from the fridge, shoving it in the microwave, setting the timer and running away. It’s all very simple.
And so he quickly puts together his breakfast and in the microwave it goes. However today, as he’s escaping the room, Namjoon wanders in, a coffee cup in his hand.
“Oh, Jeongguk-ah, good morning,” Namjoon says, his voice heavy from disuse. Jeongguk hesitates and decides that he should at least greet his hyung to avoid suspicion so he puts on a smile.
“Morning, hyung.”
“Mm, I actually wanted to talk to you about the lyrics you sent in,” Namjoon murmurs as he brings out his phone. Jeongguk fidgets, jumping from foot to foot as he eyes the humming device in the corner of his line of sight.
“Sure, hyung. What about them?”
“They’re very good, I can definitely feel the emotion behind them and the story you wanted to portray but I just wanted to maybe suggest a few tweaks.”
“Of course,” Jeongguk replies absentmindedly. His eyes don’t stray from the countdown on the microwave, feeling like a sitting duck waiting for a bomb to explode.
Namjoon speaks again but Jeongguk can’t really focus as he watches the continuous flip of white numbers on the microwave screen. His hyung is pointing at his phone screen, index finger waving over a line and Jeongguk holds his breath, willing Namjoon to talk faster. He gives nods when they’re appropriate and he’s grateful but also a little guilty at the amount of focus Namjoon puts into perfecting their album because his hyung doesn’t notice how anxious he feels. Really, he should be listening to how he could improve but the numbers are still counting down and Jeongguk is still terrified of a possible blast.
“I feel like I just bombarded you with a lot of information so I’ll send you my thoughts and the small changes that I made,” Namjoon says and even in Jeongguk’s daze, he knows his hyung has finished talking so he turns to him with a forced smile.
“Thank you so much for looking over them, hyung. I know how busy you are.”
“It’s nothing,” Namjoon smiles, dimples appearing. “Were you going somewhere?”
“Yeah- uh, bathroom.”
“Oh, go go. I’m sorry for holding you up.”
“It’s fine, hyung,” Jeongguk says before almost flying out of the kitchen, the timer reaching less than a minute.
He jumps into the bathroom and sits on the closed bathroom lid, the relief of escaping peril swamping him. Resting his head in his hands, he counts to sixty before getting up and washing his face. Even his usually rosy cheeks looks a tad pale and it makes him grimace at the mirror.
Exiting the bathroom, Jeongguk treads to his bedroom, feeling tired from the events of the morning. When he enters, he immediately flops onto his bed and breathes in the smell of his clean sheets, the familiar scent never failing to relax him. It’s not even a minute before someone’s knocking on the door, a few short raps that sound like Namjoon.
“Come in, hyung.”
He’s not bothered enough to lift his head from the bed but hears the door open and close. A small breathy laugh makes its way through the room as Namjoon takes in the sight before him.
“Didn’t you just get up?”
“Don’t tease me, hyung.”
“Sorry,” Namjoon grins, amusement still clear.
“Did you need something, hyung?”
“You left your food in the microwave,” Namjoon chuckles, setting down a bowl on Jeongguk’s beside table. “You ok? You don’t usually forget about things.”
“I was busting. All I could think about was going to the bathroom,” Jeongguk lies and finally pushes himself up to meet Namjoon’s fond smile.
“Ah, no wonder you were so fidgety earlier. I thought I said something wrong or you were offended by my suggestions,” Namjoon huffs. Of course Namjoon would notice his small tells no matter how concentrated he was.
“No no never,” Jeongguk whines, immediately wanting to shut down his hyung’s overthinking. He pats the space next to him, smiling when Namjoon takes it without hesitance. Then Jeongguk’s reaching over to retrieve his brunch and settling against the headboard with his legs crossed. A sheepish grin makes its way to his face as he addresses Namjoon again, “I’ll admit though that I wasn’t really paying attention to what you said. Could you go over them again with me, please?”
“Of course,” Namjoon says with another endeared chuckle.
Jeongguk spends the morning and then the afternoon with Namjoon. When his hyung offers to treat them to a late lunch, Jeongguk instantly jumps on the idea of not having to go near the horrid microwave again.
He doesn’t really think about it again until dinner.
They return back home to Hoseok and Jimin announcing that they’ve ordered delivery again. Jeongguk nods and helps set up the table, quietly taking in the presence of all of hyungs in the same room again. They’re a calming sort of rowdy.
The boxes of fried chicken come not ten minutes later and everyone’s digging in, occasionally pausing their munches to ask each other about their days. Jeongguk manages to reach a comfortable fullness when Taehyung hops up to heat up the leftover hotteok from last night. Unfortunately, he’s chosen a seat in direct view of the microwave which means as soon as Taehyung presses start, it’s all he can focus on. His eyes are glued to the appliance and it’s only Yoongi waving a hand in front of his face that snaps him out of it for a second.
“Staring at the microwave won’t make it go faster,” Yoongi jokes.
Jeongguk gives him a weak smile, playing it off as his impatience for the hotteok to finish heating. Except after Yoongi’s turns back to his meal and Jeongguk has nothing to distract himself with again, a loud thundering sound reverberates through the room and he flinches. He flinches hard.
There’s movement around him but it’s all white noise. He cowers away from the microwave, his hands clenched in tight fists near both ears as he tries to calm down his breathing. It happens fast, the levelling out of his heartbeat and the return of the awareness of his surrounding. Hoseok’s voice filters through his ears and he can hear his hyung scolding Taehyung for putting the hotteok in for too long, their dessert having exploded in the microwave. Hoseok complains about how he’d almost suffered a heart attack and the rest are just laughing at his dramatics. Briefly glancing over his hyungs, he realises Yoongi and Jimin have left their seats to clean up the mess inside the microwave.
Quickly, as if they were never there, Jeongguk drops his hands back into his lap and sits back with nonchalance.
Amidst the chaos, he thinks he’s gotten away with it until he feels Seokjin’s unwavering stare, his eldest hyung frowning in concern. Jeongguk doesn’t dare to meet the gaze and he doesn’t really want to know how much Seokjin saw so he keeps his eyes on his plate even when Yoongi and Jimin return with matching amused headshakes.
They decide to just forgo dessert altogether and Jeongguk feels relieved because he doesn’t think he can stomach anything after that explosion. And no excuse is ever good enough for Jeongguk to turn down food.
As they’re washing up and packing away the left over chicken, Jeongguk excuses himself to shower and drown away the resounding boom that echoes in his head. He sees Seokjin near the kitchen island so he makes a detour round the other way just to avoid his hyung.
The hot water does wonders in helping him forget about the microwave even if it’s just for the ten minutes he stands under the stream. He takes his time with his nightly skincare routine, feeling the urge to pamper himself after surviving the day. By the time he’s strolling back to his bedroom, Jeongguk thinks he’s almost back to normal and bids his hyungs goodnight when he passes a few of them in the corridor.
He enters his bedroom, ready to waste away a few hours before bedtime only to find Seokjin hovering inside, near all his exercise equipment. There’s a weight inside his heart as he prepares several excuses inside his head, both to get Seokjin out of his room and to direct any suspicion to his fear away.
“Hyung, what’re you doing here?” Jeongguk asks, steeling himself when Seokjin swirls around.
“Hey, sorry for coming in without asking.”
“It’s fine, hyung. Do you need something?”
“Mm, you want to talk about dinner?”
“What about it, hyung?” Jeongguk says innocently and Seokjin gives him a wry smile.
“You know why I’m here.”
“I do?”
“Jeongguk-ah, come sit,” Seokjin murmurs, gesturing to the bed.
Resigned, Jeongguk makes his way over and drops down, head hung low. He expects Seokjin to say something, call him out for how he reacted but instead his hyung just takes the small towel wrapped around his shoulder and rubs the wet strands of hair for him.
“You should dry your hair properly.”
“Sorry,” Jeongguk mumbles, sitting still as Seokjin finishes and squats down in front of him. There’s a small crease between the elder’s eyebrows as he regards the maknae.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Seokjin murmurs softly, carefully. “I don’t know what better way to say this so I’m just going to be straightforward. Are you scared of the microwave?”
“No.”
“It’s fine if you are, you know,” Seokjin says and Jeongguk caves with a loud, defeated sigh.
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I…” Jeongguk hesitates. “It’s irrational.”
“I’m sure no fears are irrational,” Seokjin reassures patiently. Jeongguk purses his lips, feeling self-conscious again but lifts his head so he can actually look at his hyung.
“It’s not microwaves that I’m scared of. It’s just every time I or anyone else uses the microwave, I get scared about it exploding so I try to not be in the same room when it’s being used. There. You can laugh at me. It’s silly, I know.”
“Oh, Jeongguk-ah, why didn’t you tell us sooner?”
“Because it’s embarrassing. Who’s scared of a tiny microwave?”
“Don’t underplay your fear, Jeongguk-ah,” Seokjin frowns. “Just because it’s not a common one doesn’t make it invalid. You know I’m scared of small bugs and insects. Do you think I should be ashamed of it? Are you going to tell me to man up and get over it because I’m a big human?”
“No, of course not, hyung,” Jeongguk denies hurriedly.
“Ok, then why should you?”
“Because… because it’s just a microwave.”
“Jeongguk-ah, you’re one of the strongest person I know both physically and mentally. Having a fear isn’t going to change my opinion about you- in fact, it actually makes you more human. I was starting to think you were just a robot, programmed to be so perfect,” Seokjin jokes lightly. Jeongguk scrunches his nose at the compliments and it makes Seokjin’s heart melt with fondness.
“I hate it.”
“Just remember that you can’t help it,” Seokjin whispers gently, chucking him under the chin. “There’s no need to hate it or force yourself to just ‘deal with it’, ok? And we can let this be our secret if you want.”
“Yes please, hyung,” Jeongguk smiles weakly.
“Just promise me that’d you’d give me the honour of microwaving your food for you if I’m around.”
“It’s not that bad, hyung, I can still put the food in the microwave. Isn’t that a little bit… excessive?”
“Are you really going to deny me the chance to look after you?” Seokjin complains with an offended scoff. “After we debuted, you rarely let us dote on you anymore.”
“That’s not true-“
“Ah, ah, don’t argue with me.”
“But hyung-“
“I want to help. If that wasn’t clear before.”
“Will anything I say deter you?” Jeongguk smiles, surrendering because he knows just how stubborn and headstrong Seokjin is.
“Other than if you’re uncomfortable, no, not really.”
“Ok then, hyung. Thank you.”
Seokjin cheers with a victory hand raise that manages to pull a chuckle out of Jeongguk.
When he goes to bed that night, he doesn’t realise that the explosion in the microwave hasn’t passed through his mind even once.
~~~
It appears that Seokjin actually does a great and subtle job keeping him away from the microwave when it’s in use. His other hyungs don’t seem to be suspicious either and it’s already been several weeks since he’s admitted his fear to Seokjin.
Mostly if Seokjin saw him ready to reheat food, he’d swipe up the dish and push Jeongguk out of the room before putting it inside for him. There were a few times he’d make an excuse for Jeongguk to leave the room when someone else was using the microwave. All in all, it’s been very successful.
But then they’re filming an episode for RUN where they’re preparing dinner for themselves.
It’s ok though, it’s just instant rice that Jeongguk needs to heat up. Seokjin is busy on the other side of the room and Jeongguk doesn’t want to bother him especially with all the cameras pointed at them and the staff standing around, helping them with small clean ups every now and then.
Still, Jeongguk hesitates. The packages of rice are clenched tightly in his hands and he hovers in front of the microwave. He feels someone sidle up beside him and before he can even glance at which hyung it is, Taehyung snatches the rice out of his hands, shoving them in the microwave but not starting the timer. His hyung turns to give him a smile before gently spinning him around, away from the microwave. In front Jeongguk stands Yoongi, smiling and with a ladle in hand.
“Jeongguk-ah, can you go get the eggs? I think Jimin left it in the other room with all the other shopping. We can throw them in the ramen.”
Owlishly Jeongguk just blinks at him but then Yoongi’s giving him an encouraging push towards the other rooms and Jeongguk nods. By the time he locates the carton of eggs and returns to the kitchen, the rice is heated and on the dining table already.
He gives Taehyung a confused frown after passing the eggs on but his hyung just smiles again, this time accompanied with an innocent shrug. Jeongguk doesn’t want to do anything in front of the multiple cameras so he just lets it go, heading over to see if he can help any of his other hyungs.
Everyone finishes cooking their assigned dishes and soon, they’re sitting around the table, eagerly digging in. Aware they’re still being filmed, they make jokes and comments to each other, the mood jovial and lively.
They pack away together as well and then the director announces that he has enough footage and that they could end for the day. When the cameras are finally gone and the staff members have retired to their beds, the seven of them linger around the living room. They’re all tired so they just sit quietly in each other’s presence, drinking in the calmness.
“Hyung?” Jeongguk says and only remembers that he addresses all of them that way when six heads turn to him. Flushing slightly, Jeongguk turns to his real target, Taehyung, and continues, “Why did you do that earlier?”
“Do what?” Taehyung hums.
“Microwave the rice for me.”
Taehyung seems to mull over his words and in that time Jeongguk quickly glances over at Seokjin but his eldest hyung seems just as confused as he does.
“This sounds stupid but I don’t know- I’ve realised you always hesitate when you go near the microwave. It might just be me looking too much into it but it felt like the right thing to do at the time. Yoongi-hyung noticed too.”
“Yeah, I honestly thought it was just me until Taehyung made a comment about it the other day,” Yoongi nods. He faces Jeongguk when he asks, “Are we right? There’s something about microwaves that make you uncomfortable.”
Jeongguk feels like he can practically melt under their concern. He’s glad they didn't blow it out of proportion and are only talking about it now that Jeongguk’s brought it up. Honestly, he really got lucky having these six people as his friends, role models, brothers.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk admits with more confidence than he had with Seokjin weeks ago. “It’s not that I’m uncomfortable. Whenever someone uses the microwave, I just get scared it’s going to explode. I know it won’t but I’ve just always been afraid of it happening. It’s not that bad but I try to avoid it when I can.”
“It’s ok, Jeongguk-ah, you don’t need to explain to us. If you’re scared, you’re scared.”
Yoongi’s tone is nonjudgmental and he’s immediately turning back to his phone after his statement. Jeongguk really just wants to throw his arms around all of them when the rest of his hyungs do the same, not making a big deal out of it. He does, however, catch Seokjin’s eyes and his hyung gives him the widest smile before shooting him two thumb ups. He laughs at the silliness but it’s just relief, relief, relief filling his chest.
Nothing really changes from their everyday life after that except now, it’s not just Seokjin snatching up his cold food and pushing him out of the kitchen when the microwave’s in use.
Jeongguk smiles. He really does have the best hyungs in the world.
~~~