Chapter Text
After some exy small talk, soured in part by Kevin’s unrelenting glare aimed at Heath, the foxes decided they’d had enough catching up with Aaron’s high school friends and began to head out. Aaron and his friends took the lead, chattering to the door, so that Kevin, Nicky and the two shortest players in college exy were left alone in the kitchen.
The two sober ones grudgingly turned towards their teammates, who were giggling about nonsense, now both holding a side of the rectangular carton. Their words were indiscernible, Andrew muttering something every now and then between his mounds of ice cream and Neil laughing through his smile that was biting down on his spoon.
Kevin sighed out deeply and shoved an exhausted expression into his palm in Nicky’s periphery, who decided he’d be taking the lead here. “Okay, lovebirds,” he announced, taking a step towards the pair, “it’s time to go.”
They obviously heard him, based on the way Neil’s pink eyes slid towards him and then back to Andrew who muttered something to set Neil off again. Nicky rolled his eyes. He couldn’t quite make out what Andrew said, but he knew they couldn’t have been that hilarious.
“Okay, come on,” he said, crossing his arms. “You don’t have to be that obvious about it when you’re making fun of me.” Neil was silent for a moment before bursting out again, covering his face as he turned away from Nicky. A small smile curled on Andrew’s face as he stared down at the carton, still refusing to acknowledge his cousin.
“Oh my god,” Kevin muttered tiredly, leaving Nicky to deal with the two twenty-year olds acting half their age.
“You guys can laugh at me all you want- just do it in the car, mmkay?” Nicky said, trying to convey with his tone that he wasn’t exactly the one worthy of being teased right now. He watched them talk it over with just their playful stares, Neil tilting his head a couple ways and leaning against the sink as he tried to read Andrew. Nicky, for as open he was about his own hopeless romanticism, felt a little sickened at the sweetness.
Right when he was about to abandon them (deciding that if the two wanted to eye-fuck all night, they could have at it), Andrew grabbed the lid to the carton and threw the ice cream into the freezer haphazardly. He then snatched Neil’s spoon in another decisive action, throwing it with his into the sink. Nicky’s eyes widened as he watched his cousin grab Neil’s hand to lead him from the kitchen, but he kept his mouth shut, knowing that a high Andrew didn’t equate to a nonviolent Andrew.
Neil let himself drift across the wooden floor, Andrew’s arm keeping him on earth as he floated through the air. Before he knew it, cool air was greeting his face and he was squinting in the harsh porch lights. He got confused when they stopped moving, watching the shape of his teammates grow farther from the house as they walked down the street towards the Maserati. He turned to ask about it but got distracted by the shape of Andrew’s pale jaw in the yellow light that should have been unflattering. The sharp line defined itself even more than usual as the blonde held a cigarette between his lips and oh, man.
He snapped out of it when his fingers began moving on their own accord, accepting the cigarette passed his way. Andrew didn’t comment on his frozen gaze and instead returned it, not hiding how eyes moved between Neil’s features, syrupy slow.
“Why’d we stop,” Neil asked finally, pressing the yellow filter up to his mouth, his breath making the lit embers flare. Andrew’s eyes lingered on Neil ruining his lungs for a moment more and then moved them to the right with a slight nod of the head. He grabbed his cigarette back as Neil looked to the other side of the porch.
Here, he saw Aaron still talking to both Jason and Heath in the dim light, saying their goodbyes for the night. Neil stared at them for a little too long through tired eyes and came to the realization that Andrew was waiting for his brother. Ohh. Neil huffed and looked towards the street with the smile that felt unusually easy on his face. Andrew.
It was nothing out of the ordinary for the goalie- being protective was as second-nature to Andrew as breathing. But whether he’d be effective as a bodyguard stoned out of his mind, Neil wasn’t too sure. Well, he kind of was- he wouldn’t, if how Neil felt was anything to go by. Something about that tough, cigarette-smoking exterior (that was unfortunately hot to Neil) masking a brain that was, at best, spacing out into another dimension just... humored Neil a tiny bit.
“What are you so happy about?” Andrew asked flatly.
Neil kept the smile on his face as he met Andrew’s stare and shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m just really warm. You know?”
He knew he could get away with the lie and he wasn’t about to potentially make Andrew feel bad about something he had no way of changing- maybe later, but not now.
Andrew bought it, rolling his eyes and handing the cigarette back to Neil. Neil accepted, his grin widening when, on its way down, Andrew’s hand laced through his.
“Feel pretty cold and sweaty to me,” he said in a tone that was fooling nobody. He waited for Neil to take another drag before stealing the smoke back for himself. Neil wondered if he thought the dim light was hiding his blush.
Neil pushed his shoulder up against Andrew’s and sighed. Andrew let out a blunt “yes”, and he was lost for a moment, but when Andrew’s hand instead snaked around his hip, his head almost immediately fell onto the other’s shoulder and the mystery was solved. He smiled. Somehow, Andrew always knew what he wanted before he did.
He let out an absolutely embarrassing giggle but it was out of his hands. Andrew normally made him happy, but this just felt so nice. It felt like someone was tickling his stomach from the inside and there was nothing he could do to stop it. It was almost too much happiness, if there was such a thing.
“Doesn’t swing,” Andrew muttered as if to himself, but Neil, of course, felt the words as they rumbled up his throat.
Neil also realized in that moment that they probably looked at least a little funny because, if he was correct, the shorter one usually leaned on the taller one. ‘But,’ his thoughts counter-argued against themselves, ‘Aaron and Katelyn make it work.’ He actually recalled seeing them in this exact configuration before. The thought almost made him seize up in laughter again but he didn’t want to get kicked out of the crook of Andrew’s neck so he bit down on his tongue and just barely managed to keep it together.
He wasn’t even sure exactly what was funny, just something about how he was Katelyn and how mad that would make Andrew.
Neil almost felt like he’d fallen asleep with his eyes open because of how blank his mind was as he watched the moonlit street, the occasional car rolling by the narrow street every now and then. The night somehow already looked like a memory as he stared out at it and that really perplexed him, but Andrew’s steady breath kept him from thinking about it too deeply.
He lifted his head back up at the tug of his hand, whining a bit before he could stop himself. The smirk he saw on Andrew’s profile as he shook his head made him feel a little less embarrassed and by the time he was pulled to the bottom of the porch steps, he’d forgotten about it entirely.
Aaron didn’t even take the time to acknowledge the two as they trailed behind him on the way back to the car. Andrew, in a similar fashion, made no effort to keep up with his pace, apparently satisfied with just keeping his brother within eyesight. Or, at least, Neil assumed he could see his brother.
To him, everything was so blurry. Like, he could see everything but it didn’t feel like it was there. The small rooms had been nice but, out on the street, it felt like there were a million things going on and that he had the capacity for none of them.
He gazed up and tried to focus on a streetlight as they approached it but, as they drew closer, his mind fell even further and, just like that, he went from feeling pleasantly confused to completely helpless. He closed his eyes and tried to center his mind, holding tighter Andrew’s hand in his.
A car driving by slowly caught his attention and got his guard up as high as it could be like this. He squinted at it, trying to remember how to look intimidating. He didn’t feel any easier when the car drove right by without event.
He didn’t quite feel the urgency of the thought when it hit him- it was almost something his brain had to acknowledge out of habit. But he was pretty sure that it would not end well if someone- Wesninski or Moriyama- decided that now would be a good time to check up on or kidnap him. In the open, it was a little scary, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he couldn’t really watch out for himself. The thought was the closest thing that night to bumming him out.
“Hey Drew,” he heard himself say. Andrew hummed in question.
“I feel like…,” he started, “I feel like…. I’m in a dream.”
“Hm,” Andrew responded thoughtfully. “A dream?”
“I can’t like…,” Neil started, feeling his feet continue on in front of him, “... feel anything. I feel like… can you make sure I’m okay?” He didn’t want to get too specific, knowing that if he told Andrew what he was thinking, the shorter man would probably slap him. (Not really but still).
“You’re okay,” Andrew responded in a soft tone. Neil smiled. He felt all warm and fuzzy again, all danger of being bummed gone. He let his head loll from side to side and his feet flop more than usual to match the feeling and the smile on his face, needing a new way to externalize the butterflies. He knew it must seem strange but so was having a body and that wasn’t his problem.
“What’d you think of the party?” he asked, wanting to keep that feeling and also genuinely curious to know how this party compared to others.
“It was a high school party,” Andrew stated, somehow leaving his opinion out of it.
“And?” Neil pushed.
“It was pretty uneventful.”
Neil looked down at Andrew with a grin, who was apparently not joking, which just amused Neil more.
“Uneventful?” he asked. “What else could have happened that didn’t? We get super high, kiss, and then eat all of a high schooler’s ice cream?”
“You just had fun cuz you’re boring.”
Neil chuckled. “It’s not my fault I never could go to parties.”
“No, but it’s your fault you’re boring,” Andrew responded. Neil bumped against his hip with his own in favor of laughing this time.
“Hey!”
A voice called from behind them, breaking Neil out of his floppy-footed walk as he spun around to look towards it. Andrew was then suddenly pulling him the other way, towards the voice, and he didn’t really have a problem with it but also wasn’t really sure why it was happening. When they drew closer and Neil’s blurry vision revealed Aaron sticking his head out of the passenger side of the Maserati, he was even more confused.
“Did you move the car?” he asked with a scrunched up expression, letting Andrew’s hand go to feel at his hair. It was a lot greasier than he remembered and kind of sweaty. Andrew opened the back door and started to crawl inside.
“Is he serious?” he heard, muffled, from inside the car (the exhausted tone told him it was Kevin).
“We missed it the first time. So we walked back,” Andrew responded from the open back seat, sitting with his legs hanging out towards Neil. Neil could tell it’d been a thought process for him as well. He looked to his left down the sidewalk and then back at Andrew and realized the story checked out.
“Oh,” he said, grinning amusedly. Andrew apparently saw something interesting on his face because he just stared at Neil for a while after that, not making any move into the car. Neil smiled wider. He wasn’t in any rush either
“Jesus Christ,” Kevin cried from the front seat when he realized what was happening. “Get the fuck in so we can go home.”
Neil acknowledged him with a quick glance. When he looked back to Andrew’s face, a new smirk was painted on it, which was not very promising for Kevin’s short-term goals.
Neil just stood there, not really sure how to follow the directions with Andrew being uncooperative and not really wanting to. He leaned down to poke at the dimple on the blonde’s face.
“Can you scoot over?” he asked.
“Hm?” Andrew asked, as if he didn’t hear him.
Neil smiled wider. “You heard Kevin- I have to get the fuck in.” He crossed his arms.
“Ok,” Andrew said with a shrug. His smirk was the only indication that he knew what he was doing.
Neil laughed, the cold fall air becoming steam at his breath. He thought about it and then switched modes, putting on a fake pout. “I’m getting cold.”
“Oh, no,” Andrew replied in a sarcastic tone.
Neil knew he was supposed to be the one getting teased but this made him burst out in laughter, doubling over himself. When he finally righted himself, Andrew’s smile was the biggest and most genuine he’d ever seen it.
He gasped a bit at the sight before collecting himself and putting his fake pout back on. He started slowly turning on his feet. “Guess I’ll have to hitchhike back. See you guys later…”
He smiled as his hand was caught from behind, Andrew pulling him inside. He felt that same warmth swirling as Andrew pressed against him, reaching across to pull the door shut. He giggled as Andrew sat back down, falling again into his shoulder.
“Fucking finally,” Kevin muttered from the front. Neil closed his eyes, happy to be in the dark again. The air from the vents and quiet felt so nice he didn’t even mind Kevin’s harsh tone.
“Hey, how often does Andrew joke around? Leave them be.” Nicky said at Andrew’s left.
“Them getting high out of their minds doesn’t mean I somehow gain the patience to deal with it. They took forever.”
“Oh hush, Kevin- you wanted to leave as soon as you saw that all they had to drink was box wine.”
Neil stopped paying attention to their bickering, focusing instead on the sound of Andrew’s smooth breaths. He felt strange- like he was so sleepy but, at the same time, didn’t feel like he could drift off. He was completely comfortable and relaxed, inside and out- Andrew’s shoulder felt like the only place he could ever be.
The sound of a loud horn made him pick his head up. He was met with the sight of passing headlights. He gaped at the sight and his mind returned to his and Andrew’s conversation from before.
So many nights of his life had been spent on highways just like this one- it was entirely possible that he’d driven on this exact highway before with his mother. They melded together too easily and were kept separate only by the fear that each individual day could be his last. He hadn’t known for all those years that there was an end to all the madness after all. It was a completely different life from the one he had now. It was hard for him to wrap his head around.
The feeling of Andrew’s cheek smushing into his shoulder grounded him and made right now feel more real. His mind was blank so he couldn’t help but think about such huge things as the directions of his life but it wasn’t scary anymore. It might have been before, but not anymore. And not because anything was any more certain but because at least now he had something to believe in.
He turned to his left to gaze down at that something. Andrew rolled his head to return the look without lifting his head from Neil’s shoulder. He smiled softly and then leaned once more against Andrew, resting his head on top of the other’s. Andrew laced his fingers through Neil’s at this and let them both rest on his thigh. Neil could tell that they were the only things on each other’s minds.
The next thing Neil knew, the car was sputtering off and the sound of car doors opening replaced the near-silence. The three sober passengers emptied out much faster than Neil was currently able to think about, leaving them in the car alone. Andrew moving his head was the only thing that made Neil’s move his. He groaned and pried his eyes open, confused that the ride was over so soon.
“What happened? Are we at the house?” he asked.
“Uh,” Andrew started, standing up in the car to glance through the windshield. “Nope. We’re back back.”
“Wha…?” Neil let out, leaning around the front seats to see what Andrew was seeing. (All he got was a few street lights again. Fucking street lights…)
“How did that happen,” he asked, sighing and falling back into his seat. He realized suddenly he actually was tired now, not just high. He wanted nothing more than to curl up with Andrew in his stupid tiny dorm bed. Man did he want his legs tangled with Andrew’s right now.
But that would require actually moving.
He let out a groan from deep in his throat.
“What?” Andrew questioned, leaning back next to him.
“I don’t wanna get out,” Neil whined. He realized he was whining a lot more than normal but nobody was stopping him so he didn’t stop.
“Who’s telling you to?” Andrew asked in that same soft tone from before.
“No, but I wanna, like…,” Neil wasn’t sure his plans to cuddle would be tolerated.
“Lay down?” Andrew guessed. Fucking mindreader.
“Maybe,” Neil admitted. He didn’t wanna fully agree since that statement left out who he’d be laying with.
“I wanna be with you,” he said in a quiet voice, half-hoping Andrew didn’t hear him.
“You are,” Andrew said. Neil could hear the eye roll in his voice.
“No, like-” Neil was caught off by a hand over his mouth. He then found himself being wrapped by warm arms, a face falling in his neck and sighing out deeply. He leaned towards the hug, not quite surprised at this point at the affection. He knew it was in part owed to the drugs but it still made him feel loved and, more importantly, trusted. And that was nice.
“Now we’ll never leave,” he said, smiling. Andrew made a low noise of agreement.
Neil picked his knees up and leaned them into Andrew as well. He knew Andrew wouldn’t love his feet on the nice seats but that wasn’t real right now. Plus, Neil knew, he would be the most likely exception to the rule.
Andrew’s hugging him tighter in response was either confirmation of that or a warning. Either way, it made him smile more. He drifted off easily, his head free of any dreams, enjoying the surprisingly private empty car and the comfy leather seats.
The first text to his phone woke him up but it was easy enough to ignore, as was the second. The ones to Andrew’s phone were a little harder. When someone started calling them both at the same time, the two finally separated with a groan.
Predictably, it was their teammates, calling out of concern that wasn’t great enough to make them come check on them in person.
“What?” Andrew said in answer to his caller.
“Yeah,” he said bluntly before hanging up. He started stretching and Neil sighed. He waited one more moment before opening the door beside him, the sounds of a quiet night greeting him. It also definitely felt colder than in Andrew’s arms.
He got out with a little more bounce than anticipated and turned to wait for Andrew, who gave him a bored look. Neil smiled at the effort.
They sauntered back to their floor slowly and, in twice the amount of time it usually took, they were back at their room. Two heads looked away from the TV as they entered- Aaron, neutral and Nicky, amused.
“Glad you made it,” Nicky smiled as the two ambled by to the kitchen, Andrew glaring at him in response. Neil smiled back, not finding it in him to frown.
Andrew led the way, going to rummage through the cabinets whileNeil vied for the refrigerator. When he opened it, he stared for a while, not really sure what he was looking for as the cold air blew on and around his face.
“Are you hungry?” Andrew asked, appearing at his side with a box of Cheez Itz.
Neil thought about that. He felt like he could eat but digestion seemed like a lot of work right now. He stood up and shut the fridge, shaking his head ‘no’. Andrew glanced between him and the fridge and then shrugged, moving to sit on one of the bar stools.
Neil made his way across from him at the bar, more than a little disappointed that they weren’t going straight to the bed to cuddle. He leaned way over to lay his head on his arms. He guessed the car hugs would have to tie him over for now.
He moved his head so he could stare at Andrew, who was staring straight ahead as he steadily ate from the cardboard box. Neil thought his neck looked hot from this angle and, for the first time in a while (like an hour), started giggling again. He’d felt too tired for a bit but now he’d gotten used to the feeling and it just made him want to giggle more.
This got Andrew to look down at him. He smiled a toothy grin and Andrew kept his blank look, which just made Neil giggle again.
“So, will you guys be doing this… the whole night? In various kitchens across the state?” Aaron asked.
Neil brought his right hand up to lay his head on and focused his eyes towards the living room. “You’re the ones who asked us to come in,” he pointed out, though his giggle kept him from sounding accusatory.
“That was an interesting choice,” Aaron muttered.
Before Neil could respond, Kevin walked into view with a towel around his waist. He stopped short when he saw Neil and Andrew and was gone just as quickly as he appeared.
Neil stared at the empty space for a minute and then turned back to Andrew. He found the stool was empty- but a pinch on the butt answered any and all questions about the missing person’s whereabouts. Neil jumped at the feeling, unsurprised to find Andrew watching him boredly, leaning against the kitchen sink with his arms crossed.
Neil planted a devilish look on his face and took a step towards him. “Can I help you?”
“No,” Andrew responded simply.
Neil bit his cheek to stifle a laugh. “Well, maybe you can help me then,” he replied. He saw a flicker of something in Andrew’s eye.
“I think someone who was just in here… kind of likes me.” He whispered the last part.
Andrew’s expression didn’t waver. “Where would you get that kind of idea?” he said, no playful edge to his tone. Neil considered the fact that he could make a career in acting if he really wanted to.
“I don’t know,” Neil shrugged, for some reason getting kind of competitive about making Andrew admit what they both knew.
Andrew didn’t reply- verbally at least. They started having a conversation with their eyes once more. Maybe Aaron had a point about them and kitchens.
“Ugh.”
They turned from each other and saw Kevin at the kitchen entrance again, now dressed in sweats.
“Can you guys just go somewhere already and… take care of this? I just want… I just want a sandwich.”
Neil was gonna argue that nothing was stopping him but was being pulled away before he could. He saw Aaron standing up to leave as they passed into the hallway.
Andrew closed their bedroom door behind them without turning on the light and pushed Neil so he was sitting on the bed. Neil watched as he dug around their dresser and threw a couple clothing pieces at him.
Andrew moved to the space between the bunkbeds and the door, giving him some privacy, and Neil started changing, using the outside streetlights (...) as his light source.
He smiled as he recognized the black long-sleeved shirt as Andrew’s (mostly by smell) and felt a stupid increase in his happiness once he had it on. The cotton pajama pants also felt unusually nice as he settled into the lower bed.
Andrew reappeared after a bit with his own pajamas on. Neil was a tad disappointed that he didn’t have one of his shirts on, if he was being honest. He watched the slightly more tidy of the two of them as he collected their discarded clothes and threw them towards the corner to be dealt with later and then scooched over as Andrew joined him on the bed, both of them on top of the crumpled, unmade covers.
They lay on their backs next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Neil was giddy- he’d been waiting for this since thirty minutes ago. The fact that he got to wear Andrew’s shirt was just the cherry on top of the warm feeling.
“Hey,” he said in a quiet voice.
“Hm?”
“Why…,” Neil started, “why’d you give me your shirt to wear?”
Andrew was quiet for a second and Neil thought he fell asleep.
“Because it makes you happy.” Neil smiled. “Like I said, you’re boring.”
Neil was glad he got to hear that answer, though that wasn’t exactly what he meant. “No,” he explained, “I mean… why didn’t you get one of my shirts for you?” He said this question quieter, realizing along the way that maybe this didn’t make Andrew as happy as it made him.
Again, Andrew thought. He propped himself up on his arm, gazing down at Neil. Neil looked back up at him.
“Because I’m not the bottom.”
Neil took a second to process the words but immediately rolled his eyes once he got it. Andrew cut through his annoyance by leaning down to kiss him.
It was over pretty soon, more romantic than anything else, and it was a new weight on Neil’s chest when Andrew laid his head on it and curled up against his side. But he thought he could get used to it.
~
Neil woke up the next morning feeling better rested than he had since… ever. Andrew was already gone from his side so he got up to find him, his mind still a bit foggy.
When he had the profile of the blonde drinking out of a mug and watching Tom and Jerry on their small couch in front of him, a small rush of memories from the previous night hit his mind that was slowly- much slower than usual, in fact- waking up.
“Hey, it’s the other stoner! Good morning.” Nicky’s words sent his blush over the edge.
He ignored them and crossed in front of the couch, sitting down on the far end so that a cushion sat between he and Andrew. He propped his elbow on the arm and tried to hide his face in his hand. Andrew seemed equally happy to ignore him for the time being.
Kevin was silent at the counter and as he got up to answer a knock on the door. “What?” Neil heard him ask the visitor. He turned to see Matt’s spiked hair in the doorway, pushing through with a carton.
“Ooh, thanks!” Nicky said, rushing over to grab the milk. “We wanted to stop at the store on the way home but some of us were not up to the task,” he said pointedly at the living room as he crossed back into the kitchen.
“Oh shit, Aaron told me about that!” he took a couple small steps towards the living room, watching but not talking to Neil and Andrew. “I wish I got to see these two high on pot.”
“No you don’t,” Kevin grumbled over his cereal.
“They were gross!” Nicky agreed, though he didn’t seem genuinely mad about it.
Matt laughed, moving a bit closer to the sofa. “Is that true? How was it, Neil?”
Neil looked at him, hoping he’d gotten his pink cheeks under control. This was harder to do when he now had Andrew’s pale face in his line of vision. He tried to look thoughtful, searching for a word that was both convincing and boring enough that the upperclassman would stop pressing him for details.
He thought of Andrew’s small smiles throughout the night, his big one, the cuddling in the car and the shirt he was still wearing. For a night he couldn’t remember all that well, he was sure he’d never forget it.
“Boring,” was what he eventually decided on. He knew it was the right one when he caught the smirk on Andrew’s face.