Chapter Text
Moira woke up to a splitting headache. She blinked slowly, squinting in the unforgivingly blinding light. Body aching and headache worsening, she moved to sit up, but was immediately assaulted with a wave of nausea. Wiping her mouth, she squinted her eyes even further - damn it, why was the sun so bright? - and tried to focus.
The deck was an absolute disaster. Chairs and plates in various stages of disrepair littered the deck. Mugs, cracked and dirty, rolled in time to the swaying of the ship. The ship’s large white sails were brought down and configured into a strange, tent-like dome. Decks of cards were strewn haphazardly, surrounded by piles of cracked hardtack. A small fire was burning, the stench of burning alcohol staining the air. The floor was glossy, covered in an unknown substance.
In the center of the deck were seven barrels of alcohol, all broken save one.
Moira looked down. Her red coat was nowhere to be seen. She closed her eyes, groaned, and collapsed onto the floor. The floor felt strangely sticky. What the hell happened last night?
“So you’re finally awake, Moira!” A cheerful voice called above her. “It’s been two days. You look horrible.”
Moira opened her eyes and groaned again. Hunkle was sitting on their heels and grinning devilishly at Moira, eyes wide awake and sober. They had a strange glint to their eyes, as if they were laughing at Moira’s misfortune.
“Oh for the love of -” Moira shut her mouth, suppressing another wave of nausea. “What happened last night?”, she barely croaked out.
Hunkle frowned and sighed. They stood up and slowly walked towards the barrels, carefully stepping over the sleeping crewmembers on deck. Simon was curled up into a ball, cocooning himself in his black cloak and clutching his locket. Arthur sat on top of a pile of cards, eyes closed and leaning his body against a large pile of hardtack. Next to him was Neil, head resting on a smaller stack of hardtack, who was mumbling something about goddamn poker cheaters under his breath. Jimmi Hendrix, who had a shark figurine stuck in his ear, was suspended in midair, tangled up spectacularly in the ship’s ropes. Darra was slouched against a wooden beam, whimpering softly and cuddling a bag of dried peas. Jonathon was sleepwalking back and forth across the deck, tripping over coils of rope and repeating the phrase medical humors over and over. Zoe was sprawled across the deck, snoring quietly under a red coat and surrounded by buckets of fish. Dinkleshire was nowhere to be found.
Hunkle stopped and pointed at the cluster of barrels. “You don’t remember anything?”
Moira rubbed her temples, struggling to recall the events of last night but remembering nothing. Another wave of nausea overcame her. “Goddammit, Kid, what’s going on?”
Hunkle sighed in exasperation. “I knew that it was a bad idea, “ they said, talking to no-one in particular, “but who listens to me? It’s fine, Hunkle, they said. It’s just seven barrels, they said. I know we already restructured the plan to account for the missing five barrels, so these seven barrels became fair game for everyone, a surplus we could freely use however we want. But does that really mean we had to go ahead and drink all seven barrels at once? ” Hunkle kicked the remaining intact barrel in frustration. “Maybe I should have drunk something last night, too. Why am I always the babysitter?”
The final barrel fell apart with a large crash. Moira winced, noise further aggravating her headache. Jonathon paused, tripped over some rope, and tumbled to the ground. He proceeded to roll back and forth across the deck, muttering something about leeches, eyes closed all the while. Everyone else continued to sleep soundly.
Hunkle continued to rant, stomping on the redwood planks. “And now look at this mess. This is worse than the time Belian decided to challenge everyone at the Cutlass Tavern to a drinking contest, or that time with Riq when -” they looked down and suddenly paused. In the middle of the destroyed barrel was a small glass vial, green and tightly corked. Hunkle carefully lifted the vial up and shaked it. The sound of paper rustling was punctuated with the rattling of - something bony? Hunkle peered into the vial but saw nothing, save for a small roll of paper.
“Moira, you might want to see this.” Moira groaned in response. Hunkle huffed, rolled their eyes, and walked back to the half-awake captain. They crouched down and waved the vial in front of the captain’s face.
“What in the hell-” she slurred, eyes unfocused. “Gimme here. Probably just a prank.” She shakily planted a hand to the ground and hoisted herself up, but tumbled back onto the floor. Giving up any hope of standing, she raised a shaky hand and started to wave it around in circles. “Just gimme here.”
“Are you sure you’re still not drunk, Moira?” Hunkle rolled their eyes again - anymore and I’ll permanently sprain my eyes, they thought crisply. “Let me open this, you’re in no state to do so.” They tried to uncork the vial, but the cork refused to budge. They tried again, but to no avail. Hunkle let out a growl of frustration.
“Here, gimme.” Moira suddenly sat up and grabbed the bottle from Hunkle’s hands. Swaying slightly, they turned around and threw the vial onto the floor, shattering it into pieces. Hunkle rolled their eyes again, muttering something about melodramatic drunkards . The crew continued to sleep.
Moira clumsily picked up the note and started to unfurl it. The semi-damp note, dotted with tiny blood stains, was written in impeccably clean cursive that was impossible to read in Moira’s inebriated state. Moira squinted, willing the words to stop floating off the page, and started to read out loud.
“Seven barrels of rum...opened windows...temporarily borrowed...returned later than originally planned...apologize for minor inconveniences...What the hell? This makes no sense! [1]” Moira yelled, shaking the note angrily. “Who the fuck sent this note, anyway?” she muttered as she unfurled the note in its entirety.
Two shark teeth fell onto the floor.
Moira looked down and screeched.
On a faraway island, a man in a shark-tooth crown laughed.