Chapter Text
The next morning, Sirius stirred awake to find himself in a tangle of limbs and sheets with Remus. Rather than opening his eyes, he simply snuggled himself closer to Remus’s torso and buried his face in the warm spot where his neck met his shoulder. A soft, contented hum escaped his throat and the beginnings of a smile pulled the corners of his lips. Remus was a cozy cuddle partner.
Soon Remus began to wake as well, absently running his fingers through Sirius’s hair and occasionally snoring a little. It was a quiet, comfortable morning, and together they took in the relaxation of a slow rise and the warm sunlight.
For a minute or two, anyways.
With a start Sirius suddenly leapt up onto his hands and knees and whipped his head around with wide eyes like a scared cat, patting all the various lumps in the bed with increasing intensity. “Where’s Harry?!” he shouted, panicked, and Remus sat up so fast that their foreheads knocked together audibly.
“Fuck!” Remus growled, and Sirius slumped onto his side so he could hold his head in both palms, whimpering and wincing. Remus took this moment to glance at the alarm clock – 11:15 already?!
Then, in the quiet of the pair’s respective brooding, a distinct sound echoed faintly down the corridor…
Laughter. Harry’s laughter.
Sirius jumped up again – oh, dizzy – and, after firmly planting his wobbly footing, rushed out of the bedroom and followed the giggling into the bathroom. Harry sat in the middle of the floor, pants at his ankles, with the entire toilet paper roll strewn around him and tangled all over his body. He laughed as he tugged and waved the paper around like a banner, kicking his heels against the floor in delight.
“Oh no, Harry, we can’t let Remus see you like this!”
“See him like what?” came Remus’s voice from behind, his hands beginning to wrap around Sirius’s waist in a hug but stopping midway. Sirius could feel the tension in his fingertips. One day that man was going to implode from the stress of doing chores.
“You’re cleaning this up,” Remus muttered, the throaty growl in his voice either from the grogginess of just waking up or the frustration at the sight of his just-cleaned bathroom destroyed again. His hands slid away from Sirius’s hips, and Sirius couldn’t help but pout a little at the lack of physical affection.
“Hi Remy! Hi Siri!” greeted Harry, beaming up at them. Sirius waved back sheepishly and skirted the mess of toilet paper to pick Harry up, untangle him, and pull his pants up before handing him off to Remus.
“Hey Harry, you go help Remus make breakfast, alright?” Sirius asked, and waved again at the two as they retreated to the kitchen. They looked so cute and so perfect together, with their matching curls of wild brown hair and soft, light-colored eyes. As Sirius gathered up all the tissue into his arms and attempted to compile it enough to fit it into a garbage bag, he daydreamed of what Remus looked like as a kid. Maybe he could ask Mrs. Lupin for pictures one day.
Remus, meanwhile, was stirring a pot of oatmeal and Harry was pretending to cut up some plastic fruits with his toy knife to go into the oatmeal. Briefly Sirius emerged from the dragon-hoard of toilet paper to grab a garbage bag, then soon returned again with a thoroughly stuffed bag thrown over his shoulder like a tall, dark, handsome Santa Claus. He gave Remus a kiss on the cheek, probably to test the waters of how angry Remus still was — which he wasn’t, anymore, because cooking always calmed him — and left to take the bag to the outside bin.
“Thank you so much for helping me cut the bananas, Harry!” Remus praised, clicking the stove off and setting the pot to the side before picking Harry up and spinning him around. Harry’s excited giggling must’ve been contagious, because Remus started laughing too.
“Time to wash our hands,” he said, and lifted Harry onto his knee so the boy could reach the water from the faucet.
Harry replied with a singsong, “Scrub-a-dub dub!” as Remus poured the soap onto his hands, and Remus wondered if there was some sort of special song they should be singing for washing hands. Maybe Lily left something about it in her notes.
Once they were both prepared for breakfast, Remus set Harry down in his chair and placed the oatmeal in front of him, but warned him not to eat it until the steam went away. He placed two banana slices and a row of blueberries into the oatmeal in the shape of a smiley face, which made Harry smile and gasp in awe.
As Harry waited patiently for his meal to cool, Sirius returned from his bin expedition and washed his own hands (at Remus’s request). The three of them enjoyed a fairly quiet and peaceful breakfast, with only a moderate smear of oatmeal and blueberries coating Harry’s face and hands by the end of it.
Then, without warning, Sirius looked up and murmured, “Oh no…” Trailing off dramatically, he pointed at the lamp light nearby and said, “Harry, look! It’s a full moon! That means Remus is going to turn into a big monster and eat the whole city! We have to save them!”
“Oh no!” Harry replied, looking genuinely worried until Sirius picked him up out of the chair and spun him around while making whooshing airplane noises. Remus played along, too, and began stomping around and roaring as he pretended to be a giant beast.
“Get him, Harry!” shouted Sirius, and climbed up onto a chair in preparation to jump with Harry held over his head. Remus briefly broke character, but before he could voice his concerns Sirius leapt forward and Harry victoriously latched onto Remus’s shirt. Maybe they should’ve cleaned off Harry’s hands first…
They played like this for a while, until Remus got tired of having oatmeal smeared all over him and Sirius’s arms started to hurt from all the dramatic swinging and throwing and carrying. By this point it had been a good amount of time since they had eaten, so they decided it may be best for Harry to try the potty.
It seemed that their lucky streak of all the good behavior from breakfast had run out, because Harry sat for nearly 20 minutes with no success. He began to wiggle and pout impatiently, getting grumpier and nearing the beginnings of a tantrum at any moment. Remus suggested they read a potty book to him to help him focus, but that didn’t work either. Eventually, Harry simply got up and began waddling around with his pants down, which Remus and Sirius took as a signal that they had lost this time.
“Harry, mate, you have to learn to pull your pants up when you’re done.” Sirius stopped Harry and pulled his pants up for him, after which they took him back to the living room for some TV and snacks.
As the annoying jingle of some colorful commercial started up for the sixth or seventh time, Sirius yawned and curled up against Remus’s side. “This is exhausting work,” he sighed, and closed his eyes.
They had just drifted off into a nap as they sat together on the couch, but awoke simultaneously to the horrifying sound of Harry’s blood-curdling screams followed by loud thumps and clattering.
“Shit!” Harry shouted between cries, throwing another toy at the television screen.
“Okay, Harry, okay. Please stop using that word before Lily and James murder us,” Sirius grumbled as he stirred, leaning away from his husband to give him room to get up and settle the situation.
As soon as Remus was awake enough to understand what was happening, he scrambled to his feet and turned off the television. Harry, although slightly less screechy now, still looked visibly upset. He reached up for Remus, who brushed across his tear-streaked cheeks with his thumbs before picking him up and bouncing him a little. That was when Remus discovered the source of Harry’s frustration; he had had an accident.
Sirius held Harry on the couch while Remus went to get a fresh change of clothes, but that was the easiest of their tasks. Attempting to get Harry out of one pair of clothes and into another was a completely different beast.
Harry kicked and screamed the entire time they changed him, Sirius holding down his legs while Remus avoided swinging arms and pulled a t-shirt over Harry’s head. Once they had finally wrangled a fresh pull-up onto him, Sirius let him go and Remus made one of the most defeated whimpers ever heard. He attempted to stop Harry from scurrying off, but Sirius mused, “Ah, leave it. Who needs pants anyways?”
With a small sigh, Remus resigned his objections and allowed Harry to leave. Harry, now content, clean, and half-naked, sat on the floor happily playing with the toys he had previously been using as projectiles.
The two men snuggled together on the couch for a bit, careful to keep an eye on Harry this time, and found comfort in the stillness.
“I’m so glad I can’t get you pregnant,” Remus joked.
Sirius laughed with that bright, wide smile Remus had always adored, but his expression then faded away into quiet thoughtfulness. “I don’t know,” he began after some silence, “I think that as chaotic as this is, having a little bugger like Harry around is admittedly pretty fun.”
Remus agreed.
Then, a voice called from the direction of the front door.
“Why is our son naked?” asked Lily as she set her bags down on the floor.
“And… Sticky?” added James.
Sirius and Remus carefully skirted Harry’s elaborate play scene and approached to give James and Lily their respective hugs of greeting.
“Well he is your kid, isn’t he, Prongs? He’s ought to have something a little off about him!” Sirius teased, earning himself a punch on the shoulder from Lily.
Remus added a smug, “You deserved that,” with a grin on his face, although he kissed Sirius’s shoulder in consolation anyways. Then, turning his attention back to James, he asked, “But seriously, what is with him and taking his clothes off all the time?”
Lily rolled her eyes at this and crossed her arms, nudging James with her elbow. “With how rarely James wears clothes around the house when it’s just the three of us, I’m surprised Harry’s even learned to put clothes on at all!”
“Hey!” James retorted indignantly, “There’s nothing wrong with letting everything air out every once in a while!”
They all laughed, which made Harry laugh. He had not let go of James’s leg since they walked in, and he was significantly quieter and happier now that his parents had returned. In the silence following their laughter, Sirius’s stomach growled loudly, which made them all laugh again.
“Mm, we forgot lunch, didn’t we?” Remus thought aloud. “I’ll make dinner.”
The four of them stood around the kitchen and chatted for a while as Remus prepared pasta for the group. James and Lily shared stories of their vacation and all the fun they had meanwhile Sirius and Remus recounted the many wild escapades of babysitting for Harry for the past few days. The weekend had certainly been an adventure for them all.
Dinner was eaten, Harry was clothed, laughter was shared, and shenanigans were had until finally it was time for the Potters to go. They packed up all of his things and set his luggage beside the door, but as they were leaving, Harry ran over and latched onto Sirius’s leg while reaching up with one hand toward Remus, whimpering and pouting pathetically.
Remus leaned down and smiled at him, holding his hand. “It’s alright,” he assured.
“Yeah, you’ll see us again soon! Promise!” added Sirius, ruffling his hair.
As Lily picked up Harry and placed him on her hip, allowing him to bury his face against her shoulder, she commented, “I guess you’ve given him quite the fun weekend, then.” She offered him his stuffed lion, which he took gratefully and hugged close to comfort himself.
Sirius nodded in agreement and threw an arm around Remus’s shoulder as they picked up a few of Harry’s bags and proceeded to take them down to the car. “Hey, we’re pretty good at this, huh?” He grinned, and Remus knew something foolish was about to come out of his mouth. “Who knows, maybe one day soon we’ll have a little Lupin-Black of our own tearing up the place!”
Although it was a joke, as they finished packing the bags into the car, waved goodbye to the Potters, and walked back to their home hand-in-hand, the idea didn’t seem too far fetched.
After all, what was the worst that could happen?