Chapter Text
Bruises, blooming purple and blues make its debut on his skin in the early morning. Love marks spread across his neck up to his stomach and Taehyung is giddy. Trying to fight the smile on his face and failing miserably, covering his face with the blanket because he swears someone's trying to burn up something in his cheeks.
He takes a peek to his left, wide awake way before the other which was a feat in itself. But this time, he's slept so nice only to be rewarded by Jeongguk's face in the morning, snugged tight between his arms as he made him his pillow of the night, still shamelessly naked.
And Taehyung is just so happy, it's unreal. It's bubbling up his chest, transforming into giggles while he plays with the younger's hair. Jeongguk is still asleep, but he never let go of him once. Looking at him so peacefully in his slumber, unconsciously craving Taehyung's warmth makes the older's heart jump more.
And it sucks, it sucks so much because he's so overjoyed his heart might leap out of his chest. All he needs to do is kick his legs and screech, because seriously, he's similar to a high schooler on their first date. Both elated and head up in the clouds
"Morning," Jeongguk croaks out, voice hoarse from last night. He doesn’t open his eyes immediately, preferring to settle himself between the other’s arms more.
“It’s lunch time,”
“Well, good afternoon then,” Sitting up, he takes Taehyung back into his grasp, resting his chin on the older’s shoulder. Another smile creeps up his face as he feels Jeongguk’s breath slow down, still falling in and out of sleep.
“Are you kidding me? You’re tired after one round and we slept right after,” He teases, stretching so that the vibrations of his body could calmly wake Jeongguk.
“Mhm, but I cleaned you up last night and showered you then... showered after then we got to bed but another client called,” Taehyung could sense the defeat in Jeongguk’s voice but the scene vividly plays out for him. Jeongguk cleaning them up, face turning sour when after he settles in bed, a call rings and he leaves the room dripping wet, only to come back still stark naked back in the sheets and beside Taehyung.
“You could still sleep if you want,” He stands up, only to be pulled back down. Half of his legs spread out on the floor, the rest of his body clutched between pillows.
“Stay in bed a little longer,” Jeongguk all but slurs, not a hint of wanting to get up and go about their day. “It’s rest day, please,”
“You know, usually I’d be the one getting kicked off the bed by you, but since I’m so kind–“ Taehyung lifts his feet off and places it on Jeongguk’s figure, subsequently positioning himself just right for a hug. Faces once more so intimate, that with minimal movement he could kiss the lips that are quick to fall to slumber once he felt the other’s warmth. Knowing he won’t be heard, nonetheless still whispers. “We could sleep some more.”
It was a mistake because Taehyung wakes up at two in the afternoon with another text from Lee Jihyun. A simple question mark asking if he’s given the green light to come and meet him, and Jeongguk is still asleep, hard as a rock probably not wanting to face the sudden onslaught of clients though he swore he took care of it a week ago. So, he isn’t sure if he’s going to tell the younger and wake him up simply to ask him to go with him or–
“But this is my problem,” Taehyung paces around the living room, opting for a glass of water after he made a dummy of himself with pillows and blankets not to stir Jeongguk awake. “He’s already done a lot.”
Grabbing his phone at the counter, he types and backspaces again and again, thinking of the best response. If he’ll pass or if he’ll go, but he sure knows he shouldn’t pass. It’s his ticket to finding out everything, and maybe he believes he’s too much of a coward sometimes. “I need to talk to him, for Gguk. But most importantly for me.” Taehyung decides, mind still pulling him to say no and ignore the problem forever, to merely succumb to his already full conscience and to torture it even more.
But he thinks of Jeongguk that night. Where he fully sobbed because Taehyung wasn’t being himself, destroying himself. And he wants to be better. Somewhere along the line, Taehyung is well aware that self-destruction isn’t pretty and it goes a long way from you and reaches others. So, finally opening wounds to finally let them heal is a good deal he’ll take.
“For me, most of all. I... can’t live thinking like this forever.” Groaning and almost pulling at the ends of his hair, he gives a long stare back at the message before deciding and sure of himself. He types back: I’ll see you.
After he does so, he feels all the confidence deflate within a span of a second, gradually turning into panic before giving himself relief that this is for the better. And he shouldn’t be paranoid because Jihyun was someone nice. Well, Taehyung did love him for a good two years but that may also be what’s making it so scary.
Because he will finally know what changed between them to the point of breaking apart, leaving your partner in battered and deafening silence.
He finds himself kneeling in front of he bed, hissing when the pressure nags at his healing ankle but is soon distracted by Jeongguk looking at him with half-lidded eyes, still heavy with sleep. “Hi, Ggukie.”
“You look pretty,” That was the first thing that came out of his mouth the moment he woke up for the second time around.
“I’ve been told,” Taehyung laughs, stretching a smile on his face but heart rapidly beating out of panic. It’s just Jeongguk, he’ll understand. Hopefully. “I’ll be out for a while, friend wants to meet up. They...uh, they’re in Jeju as well.”
“No problem, mhm just stay safe.” Jeongguk is quick to respond, and something snaps in him because he’s suddenly awake. Eyes baring in Taehyung’s and he can’t help but feel the panic rise up more, convincing himself he’s doing this for his sake. It is absolutely valid. “Are you leaving right now?”
“In a few, I’ll just take a bath and go, it’s just a cafe near the villa so, I’ll have a walk around first,” He hopes his voice came out okay.
“Okay,” There’s lips to his forehead, softly pressing against the skin. “Just wanted to kiss you before you went.” His smile brings a lightness to his face that Taehyung absolutely adores, and before he could give in to stay, Jeongguk topples back the bed and gives him a grin, getting cozy to sleep again.
“You must have had a lot of clients calls last night.”
“Don’t,” Jeongguk groans, burying his head into the sheets further only peeking to greet Taehyung a small goodbye. “Enjoy your day out, Tae.”
Enjoy is not a way to put it. Actually, it’s far from it. The faint feeling of his lips linger around his skin, enough to keep him sane for the time being. But the clock continues, it's annoying chatter and it’s already a few minutes before it hits five.
Taehyung’s just by the corner, arrived thirty minutes earlier but thought that sticking outside in a street where you could view the cafe is going to help him. It’s in his sight, people chattering all around and the smell of freshly baked cake tempting him to gather himself and go inside. Yet, his fear seems to be bigger than his appetite. Especially when he spots the same dark air and auburn eyes that he used to look at with so much vigor, the body he used to melt into. It’s Jihyun, and he didn’t notice when he had entered the small cafe, and he’s left with no choice but to actually meet him.
Five in the afternoon, as agreed upon. He reluctantly presses down the knob and with a small push, sends the bells on top chiming. The employees were quick to greet him good afternoon, and the other customers paid no attention. There’s only one set of eyes, who look unbelievably lonely, that rests on his walking figure.
“Hi,” Jihyun speaks, giving him a small smile. Voice still a familiar tone in his brain. “Please, take a seat,”
Once he does, he takes a good look at him. Everything was almost the same. Almost. There’s a light in his eyes that seems to have disappeared, bags underneath and cheeks a bit hollower than usual. It was like his frame fell a little too short from the last time they met. Taehyung almost feels guilty, recalling the cuss and cries he let out because this was the man he was targeting.
Though, something else flashes behind his eyes and it’s the faces of people at the wedding. The empty aisle and having to calm the crowd down. Shelves void of their relationship, not a single trace of Jihyun anywhere. Not a call, not a read. Just left him hanging with the thought of why it had happened. Of why did he leave. Every single moment he had thought of what he did wrong to the point that it conjured him. Reminiscing memories of the past two years when he thought they were happy and ready. It simply breaks apart, every bit of resolve and the emotions of guilt, bitterness, sadness and pain are mixing up in his brain.
“Jihyun–“
“I know I have a lot to explain, but before that,” Jihyun fishes something out of his bag, a neat envelope that’s threatening to pull out of it’s seams. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way,” Sliding it throughout the table, he briefly downcasts his head and bites his lip. And there’s nothing but radiating anxiety.
Taehyung waits for a moment, figuring out what the hell is inside before reaching out and ripping the seal off. And it’s a load of money, literally a whole block of it inside that he couldn’t stop himself from gasping and giving an alarmed look back at Jihyun.
“It’s half of my rent for this month at the apartment and... it’s what you paid for the remaining balance of the–“ A moment of hesitance. “Wedding.”
“Did you seriously come here to give me money?” Taehyung doesn’t know where it came from, but the way he speaks is irritated. Voice lathered up in venomous contempt. He really didn’t mean to, as he recoils taken aback by how it sounded and clears his throat. “I thought... I thought you wanted to talk. And, I just want answers.”
“I’m sorry,” Jihyun starts, pushing his hair back and gripping at the roots like he was trying to ground himself. “I know it’s not enough to cut it but I’m sorry, I really am. And it sounds like an excuse but I promise you it’s not but... I was scared.”
Taehyung doesn’t intend to speak, so he continues.
“You probably thought we were okay the first few months into our engagement and where did we fall back a few weeks before the wedding–“Taehyung lets out a shocked look, because he didn’t expect him to start from there. Hell, he didn’t know Jihyun was aware of what was happening between how distant he’d been.
“Did you cheat on me?”
“What? Taehyung, no. Why would I do that?”
“That’s a weird question to ask for someone who left their own wedding and disappeared, huh?” He absolutely has no idea where the attitude came from. Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with this, maybe he just wants to go back and sleep. But, he’s aware he’s acting out of line and he came here to talk. “I–I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m like this.”
“You should stop apologizing, I should be on my knees right now and I will be later. What I did was unforgivable and I’ll understand if you don’t ever want to see me again or get mad at me, or even snap at me. I did wrong, and I deserve that. But, Tae, I’d never cheat on you. You’re a wonderful person.”
He stays silent this time, scared of what other things he might spill out his chest. Breathing in and out to try and even his temper out. Jihyun’s explaining and he will listen.
“I was scared of committing.” The silence settles longer, and Taehyung doesn’t want to meet his face. “Don’t get me wrong, those two years I’m absolutely thankful for. I love you, you were my everything and when I proposed I meant it with my whole chest but, I started thinking of weird things. It sound ridiculous but suddenly I was so scared of being grounded.”
“...You were scared of sticking with me your entire life, so you left,” He scoffs, wanting the ground to swallow him whole. This wasn’t the answer he was expecting, because Jihyun never explicitly showed he was scared of commitment. Always telling everyone he has a boyfriend, always so happy when he’s showing off that he’s in a relationship. So why.
“No, I... that’s one way to put it but not exactly. I started questioning if I could live up to it. Being your husband, if I could continue being a good person to you in the long run. Scared that I won’t be able to love you enough. And it frightens me so much I didn’t realize I was falling apart from you. That I was thinking about it too much, keeping those insecurities to myself that I built a wall away from you.”
“But before the wedding, the day before, you were okay. That’s why I thought it’d be okay.” There’s nothing left but a heavy weight on his heart.
“I really tried to convince myself, but the more I did the more those thoughts kept attacking me. And eventually, I did the worst. Ran away. But I was there that day. But before the door could open I took my car back to the apartment and took all my stuff because I know I couldn’t face you after that. The one decision decided my fate with you. And my family loves you, I love you, so I didn’t talk to them after because I was so ashamed I let a person so precious down and eventually my thoughts came into reality that day too. I stopped being a good person to you and probably, left you thinking what you did wrong. Taehyung, you did nothing wrong.”
Tears absentmindedly make it to his face, dripping down continuously and never-ending. Mix of relief and more anguish flooding through his entire system after hearing all of that and registering it.
“That’s why I came here to say sorry. You don’t need to accept it. I just wanted to let you know, and this isn’t gonna make up for it but... yeah,”
Taehyung allows himself to curl up on the table, silent sobs racking through his entire body because at this time he doesn’t know what to feel. Jihyun was suffering almost parallel to how he was at the present, but it doesn’t excuse him. Or the fact that the reason this was all happened because he was simply so afraid to love without limits. That it would run out and he wouldn’t be able to give anymore. That was his answer.
“Your love is so fucking fragile.” He manages to lift his face up, thankful that they’re in the corner of the cafe. But, Jihyun is no longer on his seat but on his knees right in front of him in a deep bow. Urging him to get up, Taehyung engulfs him in a hug.
“You’re so fucking stupid.” A hit to the back.
“You’re a fucking dumbass.” Another hit to the back, still holding him in an air crushing embrace. He places his forehead on his chest, the feeling now so foreign to him. “I’m sorry,” Taehyung mumbles, defeated and feeling the rush of energy flow out of his system.
“I told you I should be the one saying sorry,”
“I’m sorry because I never reassured you. I just thought you were cheating or something along the lines that you just didn’t want me anymore. You were just so afraid to disappoint me, you basically...fuck, you were afraid you’ll never love me enough and I should have told you that can’t happen and look at us now. A bunch of fucking idiots. If we could’ve just communicated more.”
Jihyun breaks out of the hug, legs hurting from the kneeling so he goes to sit back in his chair. All the while, holding a part of Taehyung’s hand as if he’ll go away and vanish. A moment of irony.
“Will you date me again?” Taehyung finally manages to stop his crying, with only the evidence of tear streaks and a red nose to prove it. He just wants to ask about it, if he has any intention of wanting him back, to owe to him.
“After what I did? I still have to conquer my mind that I could still be a good person to you after that. But, will you wait for me?”
Taehyung contemplates the idea, entertaining it and tossing it around but he’s got an answer. “I don’t think I can.”
“I think my time ran out too.” Jihyun dryly laughs, subtly taking a peek on the outside of the shop. “I’m sorry, again. A million times doesn’t cut it.”
“This is awfully, lighter than I expected. Am I supposed to feel okay? Hearing all this?” Wiping away the remnants of his tears, he sends a small smile into Jihyun’s direction. It isn’t romantic, not at all but it’s a little comforting. “I honestly still don’t get why, but I’m... glad I got to hear your side.”
Jihyun lets out a breathy sigh. “I think it’s because we finally got things off our chests. But, I don’t think I’ll be interested in someone for a long time. I love you, seriously, you’re a special person but I was too scared that I might run out of that.”
They chat just like that, because before they were boyfriends, fiancées and even a runaway groom, they were both friends. And ever so sadly, both still human and adults who strive to understand each other. Other than that, their chatter continues with Taehyung telling Jihyun to contact his family because they’re worried. He even insists on returning the money back in which Jihyun stubbornly argues that it's Taehyung’s now, after the wedding. And it’s going to be hard to put this behind them, especially with the remnants of his feelings still etched along the corners of his heart. But they will try, and Taehyung has a reason to all the more do so.
“I hope you find someone who isn’t afraid of loving you.” Jihyun finishes his coffee, standing and bidding farewell to Taehyung.
“And I hope you find someone who you aren’t afraid to love.”
Taehyung remains on his seat, even when the sound of Jihyun’s footsteps are ceasing per each second. This time, he’s also leaving him and he doesn’t know where or when they’ll meet after this. If they’re gonna talk but the awkward lightness of his chest says that this time he won’t be as scared.
He was about to go, finishing the last bit of cake Jihyun had bought for him when a gasp catches his attention. Whipping his head towards the entrance, there stand Jeongguk with angry eyes that want to tear his ex-fiancé apart. They’re standing parallel to each other, Jihyun calm as he sends a bow towards the younger. Taehyung could take a guess and say he looked like he was apologizing to him as well.
But before he could walk out of the cafe, the murmurs grow louder when Jeongguk closes the space between them, fists balled and ready to hit the other. Taehyung makes it outside before that could happen, Jeongguk’s grip loosening when he feels a soothing touch on his back.
It gives Jihyun the vacancy to take his leave, once again bowing towards the two paying no mind at Jeongguk’s heavy breathing and the matching marks on their necks. After all, he knew his time was up the moment he saw Taehyung. When he silently walks away, turning to a corner and escapes their line of sight, it’s the younger’s turn to face him. Eyes defeated and confused, searching his face to find an answer.
“You cried,” He observes the way his face catches the light, streaks of water still present. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know how to say it, but me and Jihyun are okay now. Tears were inevitable, but it’s okay now,” Taehyung reassures, pulling him into a hug, feeling free.
He observes how the other tenses at his touch, not bothering to hug back and suddenly, there’s dread hanging inside himself again. But, it’s a different kind because it’s Jeongguk. The sudden shift in the way he’s acting towards him, so close yet feeling far.
“Jeongguk,”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He repeats, throat catching up to him that he almost chokes a sob. “No, I shouldn’t be acting this way, I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Breaking apart, he removes the grip of Taehyung’s arms around him, holding on to his wrist tight as the older man stubbornly tries to hug him back.
“Jeongguk, what are you saying?”
“You and Jihyun are okay now. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I shouldn’t be concerned, but he hurt you. He hurt you and I just wanted to help, shit.” Jeongguk groans, and places a hand on his forehead before looking at him again with an expression so lost.
“I still have a lot of things to figure out with him, but I told you, it’s okay now. Hey, Ggukkie, please are you alright–“
“Taehyung, we’re best friends.” He musters out, voice small. “I’m so confused. Tae, we’re best friends. Why do I feel so upset? I don’t know.”
“I’m not getting you, please. Calm down first and I’ll explain what happened. Listen to me, Jeongguk.” Taehyung pleas, tugging on the hem of his coat. He doesn’t budge, the same expression on his face and it isn’t changing.
“I’m going back to Seoul, tonight.”
Taehyung abruptly stops tugging, and raises his head so fast it could’ve snapped. He gulps and tries to stand still, not sure if he heard what he has just said.
“I... I came looking for you because I was gonna tell you that from the start. A big client called and if he likes my work, I’ll get to go big time. It’s not because of this, he’s just very demanding. Then I saw you with Jihyun, but that’s not why I’m leaving. I already packed my bags and my flight is in a few hours.” Jeongguk rambles on, noticing how Taehyung fell in a stupor. His hands lose its strength and he hurries to hold it. “I’m confused right now but I’m not mad at you. It’s not, it’s not goodbye, okay? You know where I live, we could see each other once you’re back in Seoul.”
Jeongguk leaves for the airport as soon as the conversation is over, and true enough to his words his bags were actually just beside him before he left. He doesn’t say a word, preferring to squeeze at his hand and gently kiss one of his knuckles instead.
Now he’s left with a staring contest with the long forgotten Koo the stuffed toy. And once again, Taehyung had come back with an empty home, all of Jeongguk’s stuff gone which leaves gaps all over the place. The doll stares back at him across the bed, sparkling eyes and a smile that was too reminiscent of the person who gave it to him.
“It’s so quiet without him,” Crawling up to hug the plushie, he envelops it in a crushing embrace. There’s a hint of his cologne, the sheets still smell like him and hell, there’s even the space in bed where Taehyung could just imagine Jeongguk laying down still wanting to sleep. And he groans, mind jumbled into a mess because he doesn’t get what’s going on.
Like the universe is playing with him, resolving a problem only to throw another one at his face. Thinking things are alright only to go downhill not less than a few minutes later and he hates the world for it. “He said he wasn’t mad but he feels like it. Why would he be? Koo, your staring is not helping.”
The doll doesn’t answer him back. Though, Taehyung is positive that if it does he’ll rush out of the room.
“Not even a read, he didn’t even call me if he arrived safely. Is it...” He remains pensive, mind drifting into a multitude of possibilities. “Is it going to be a replay? For fuck’s sake, universe do something better?!”
Burying his head into the plushie, he stays like that hoping that the world will soon be kinder to him as he tries to make out what’s left of Jeongguk’s cologne on Koo. “Was it so bad that I know I can try to move on with him, is that so hard?”
There’s three knocks on the door and Taehyung is expecting that maybe Jeongguk had come back even though he’s already in Seoul, flight leaving around five hours ago. Staggering to walk up to it, he heaves a sigh and prays.
“I’ve been told you need a change in sheets.” He was practically glowing, one and only and easily the most intimidating out of the three. Park Jimin is adjacent to the door, greeting Taehyung with a blinding smile over changing their sheets. But he squeaks in realization that right, they didn’t change the sheets from last night and his ears are flushed pink, the numb pain on his lower back growing more prominent.
“Uh, yeah, hold on a second,” He speeds up to grab Koo from the bed and gives a go signal to the attendant to enter. Jimin does so happily even having the nerve to skip towards the bed.
“I honestly feel like a proud parent, thought you two were a problem couple or something,” He casually comments, pulling the sheets of the bed and squashing them all into a laundry basket. Taehyung stands there by the door with his jaw dropped.
“Do you usually talk to your guests like that?” He counters, adjusting Koo in his arms so he could waddle and meet Jimin halfway to give him an attempt at a glare.
“Truth be told, no. You two were weird, we couldn’t help it and when is it bad to start up a chat?” He continues his procedures, working through the bed in a harmonized manner. Somewhere at the back of his brain questions how many stained sheets he had to clean and still is sane enough to do it. Or how does he even have the patience to deal with guests.
“No. But, you’re so happy about us, uh,” Taehyung wants to cut his ears off because it’s giving him away. And he’s come so far as doing it with Jeongguk when we thought he couldn’t two weeks ago, but he isn’t openly talking about it.
“Of course I am, means you love each other.” Jimin takes the clips off the side of the bed, releasing the last thin sheet that covers the mattress. “As said, you lot were weird. No romantic or sexual tension at first when honeymoon couples just want to eat other up. Literally. But you looked like good friends so I doubt it was arranged. Like you knew each other but not enough. I was wrong though! I guess you two were just a bit more private with the whole thing.” He giggles.
Giggles. Jimin just giggled at his dilemma right in front of his face but he can’t do anything about it. Taehyung uses this opportunity instead.
“So you could say you’re a love expert?”
“Unless I’m the trolls in Frozen, no. Though, I do know a few things here and there,”
“Can you help a friend of mine?”
That’s how Taehyung ends up with clean sheets and Jimin beside him, eyebrows knitted together in understanding what his friend’s problem was. He’s still for a moment, Taehyung still clutching onto Koo like a child who doesn’t want to let go of his favorite toy.
“So you’re saying your friend’s ex ghosted him, then your friend’s best friend tried to comfort him. And now the best friend doesn’t know what he feels but he feels something? Then your friend is quite sure that he can move on with him? Did I get that right?” Jimin strokes at his chin, pondering over what he should say and assessing the situation as accurate as he can.
“Exactly,”
“Your friend’s a jerk.” He claps his hand and stands, ready to step foot outside the room. There’s something that stops him midway and he looks back at Taehyung who’s trying to calm down. He’s just been called a jerk by him and he doesn’t even know. “Yeah, okay, he’s sure with his feelings but is the best friend sure? That’s the question right there. It may look like he’s a rebound and nobody wants that if they respect themself enough, seriously. He’s a jerk.”
Taehyung feels a sting in his chest, pretty much sure that even Koo the stuffed toy is giving him side-eye or any look of distaste. Because he’s always making the same mistakes.
Jimin offers him a look.
“Oh yeah, was gonna ask you where Mr. Jeon went?”
“You don’t know? He went back this afternoon because of work,” Biting at his lip, he decides to tuck himself in the bed. Gifted stuffed toy in the place where Jeongguk should be.
“Hey now, I was off shift before night. And I guess you two still need improvement. How are you not chasing after him right now?”
“Because I know it’s for work.”
Jimin nonchalantly shrugs. “And it looks like you aren’t too pleased about it. Doesn’t hurt to chase ‘em sometimes.”
Jeongguk has been pacing around the darkness of his apartment, the silence too eerie while he works his way around the small room to look for countless designs of chairs, tables and tabs of paint to drive him insane. It’s a big project, and yes, technically he hasn’t been accepted yet and he has to present his portfolio which fits the client’s taste and that is exactly his problem.
He doesn’t have anything that would fit his client and he’s tearing his hair out over it. There’s also an afterthought of leaving Taehyung back in Seoul, probably misunderstanding the whole thing and that’s why his chest continues to drag him to the ground.
The light of his laptop manages to illuminate his face, thinking about playing music to clear his mind and maybe then he could work properly without fretting around. So, he grabs his phone and puts on a random playlist and sets his hands back on his stylus.
“Okay, sketch, search and email back. Sketch. Search. Email. Break. Repeat.” Chanting a mantra, he focuses his vision on the blank canvas before letting out a tired sigh, resting his head on the cold concrete of his desk.
When Marimba rhythm starts to play. Dance with me, make me sway. Taking a peek on his phone, a cover of Michael Buble’s Sway meets him. Like that night where the oceans does meet the sea and Taehyung’s hands find their way to his shoulder, oozing closer until there’s nothing left between them. Breathing smooth and tranquil like the waves softly splashing across the shore.
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore.
Hold me close, sway me more.
There’s a long pause, letting the music play and vehemently pausing it and turning off his phone. “Can’t work like this, it's a mess, God,” Jeongguk decides that he could push his break earlier than what he intended, working into the rest of the night till the sun viciously greets him. That would be perfect.
Grabbing his wallet and pushing it into his back pocket, he doesn’t take a second glance at his phone before heading out.
And boy, does the world hate him because the small coffee shop nearest to him closed the minute he got there, not wanting to down a few more blocks for the convenience store. If he wastes more energy walking around, he could just pour it on his work. A bland coffee mix would do just fine.
Taking a small trip back to his complex and entering the elevator, he battles the way his eyelids are failing him. Usually he’s so good at bad sleeping hours, and four whole hours of a nap is good enough to keep him going for the day but the flight probably took a toll on him. And well, his nice sleeping schedule during the honeymoon too.
Suppressing a yawn, the elevator signals his floors with a ding and he steps out, hand over his face wanting to win the war against sleep. He doesn’t look up, knows his apartment by heart so he keeps his head down, trying to focus on not letting his sleepiness win over him. And only does he become alert when a pair of feet in sandals that he’s seen before are at his door.
Jeongguk’s heart is suddenly high on adrenaline.
“Hey,”
“Taehyung?”
“Talk later, I know you have a lot to do and I brought you coffee.” Taehyung shakes the small plastic in his hands, what looks like a set of iced caramel macchiato sloshing inside. “It’s sweet, and there’s two. Just in case one won’t do the job.”
Without saying anything more, he invites him inside and thanks him with a smile as Taehyung offers him his coffee and immediately starts working back on his table whilst almost inhaling the caffeine. He can’t be bothered by the consequences, he can take care of it later.
Contrary to what first came to mind, Taehyung’s presence doesn’t distract him at all. Knowing the other is just around somewhere while he works is… actually comforting in a sense. Much more when Taehyung pulls a chair to sit beside him, closely examining his work (which has now progressed to something more than a white blank space, thank god) and threading his hand through his hair to gently massage at his scalp. No words are exchanged, the sound of his slurping and Taehyung’s hums the only things present in the air.
The night only gets darker and Taehyung had been helping him relax through, even without speaking. First it was playing with his hair, or bringing him small cookies to nibble whenever he gets a little tired. Or giving gentle rubs across his bag while he’s attentive to the way his hand drifts per each stroke.
And somewhere around four in the morning, Taehyung had fallen asleep at the counter, right when Jeongguk had finished his third concept design for the night- well, day. Having to go through some more files for evidence, he was far from done but he stretches and places his arms on Taehyung’s back as well as the back of his knees, lifting him up.
“Mhm can stand up, and sofa,” Taehyung sluggishly says, voice still heavy with sleep as he tries to pry his eyes open.
“Stay on my bed, I’ll keep the door open.’’ He replies, subtly chuckling at Taehyung’s groan of protest only to fall back asleep on his shoulder. Laying him down the bed and tucking him into the softest duvets he has, Jeongguk keeps his promise of leaving the door open and continues to work, finishing every last bit of the cookies the other had bought him.
Five hours later, Jeongguk finishes his work and deems the portfolio presentable in a sense and sends an email that they could meet the deadline for the contract. True enough, he had finished his coffee and there is nothing but that running through his veins because of the way his hands shake.
Forcing himself to brush his teeth and after having the decency to clean up, he crashes on the bed and lets the tiredness take over him despite the morning sun glaring at his face.
He wakes up, head in pillows and he feels a stare on his back. Groggily, he turns back and Taehyung greets him, face blank yet puffy with bed hair all over the place and he can’t help but snort, lips falling into a laugh.
“How long have you been awake?” Jeongguk asks, tone a bit deeper because of sleep and he pushes himself to sit with his back resting against the keyboard.
“Thirty minutes.”
Jeongguk simply nods back at him, body feeling gross after two whole intakes of caffeine and just wanting to flush it out but he doesn’t move, and finds it more reasonable to stare back at Taehyung and etch the image in his mind.
“You came back a day earlier?”
“Took the plane that would take off the soonest because… like you said, we have to talk. And I think I know what you mean, what you told me before you left.” Taehyung clears his throat, bunching up the sheets between his fingers and Jeongguk frowns.
“Okay,” He supplies an answer.
“But before that,” Taehyung turns the younger’s shoulder, deliberately making him face the opposite direction before his back meets his. “Can we talk like this for the meantime, just for the start but I’ll turn you back once it's alright.”
“What’s the poin-”
“I’m shy and embarrassed by the things I’m about to say so it's better for you to not see my face, for now at least. Please bear with me.”
“Okay,” Jeongguk says again, softness attached by the way he speaks. In a way it could even be something synonymous to endearment but he catches himself before he could fall further. He feels Taehyung adjust himself, their spines meeting against each other as he prepares to speak.
“I think you misunderstood when I told you me and Jihyun are okay… we are, but not like that. He explained his side and yes, I don’t get it entirely but I’m grateful that he did. But, we’re not getting back together and I don’t want us together because I think I found a reason too, but I’m at fault at that too,”
Jeongguk’s back tenses and Taehyung pushes himself further, head resting on his shoulder and he pushes to continue speaking.
“I...I think I’ve grown feelings for you, seen you in a different light. As my best friend and as someone more but I didn’t think of your situation. I was so forward and that was wrong with me and I wanted to say that you mean a lot to me. Yeah, I thought maybe I was just getting distracted but I’m sure of what I feel now.” Taehyung finishes and taps on his shoulder, urging the other to turn back.
“Please say something,”
The air inside his lungs comes out the moment he’s met with a tight embrace, different from the others as if not wanting to let go. Like he’ll disappear any time and Jeongguk holds onto him, pulling him close and ridding them of any space.
“Tae, fuck, I know you mean well. I do, seriously but… I don’t think it’s our time. At least, not yet. Please understand me.” Jeongguk doesn’t rush out his words, making every point stand still in Taehyung’s head. “I was confused, because I got to do things with you that I never thought I’d have then and I loved every single moment of it, but we’re best friends and I gave you comfort. What if… what if you’re just feeling this way because I was there? What if I only feel this way because I had to act the part of your lover but it felt so right and I don’t know what to believe anymore,”
There’s something wet and warm marking his back and he realizes Jeongguk is crying, all the more confused of the feelings he's harbouring but on the other hand, Taehyung is so sure. He won’t doubt, won’t assume things, and he’ll be patient.
“If it really does feel that way, we could wait.” Breaking the hug, he turns his attention to the tears on his cheeks. Swiping his thumb across his face and feeling the strong urge to kiss it away. But Taehyung will be patient until the day Jeongguk won’t second think every touch. “There’s no rush.”
“You’ll wait?”
“I’m sure of what I feel and no, it’s not because of Jihyun, not because of the honeymoon. On the way back I’ve thought and thought a lot and maybe it is a bit fast but it all leads up to you in the end. Comfort was there, I’ll admit that but it was you who gave it to me, it’s all you, Jeongguk. If it’s you, I’ll wait.”
Jeongguk wants to cry more with everything he’s hearing, feeling his doubt acting like a barrier between them but Taehyung understands what he means and that’s what leads to more tears. He grabs at his shirt, sobs racking through his figure because he could feel Taehyung crying along with him.
“And if time passes by and if either of us decide it was all because of a romantic trip to Jeju and not really what we feel, I’d understand. I will wait, Jeongguk until both of us are sure.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m sure of what I feel, but I don’t want it to weigh you.”
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk breathes out, not wanting more water to spill from his eyes.
“Hm?”
“Tae,”
“Yes?”
“Please wait for me,”
Eight months.
It’s been eight months since they’ve been to Jeju and the whole dramatic play of Taehyung running back to Seoul took place. And really, it didn’t take much effort to make life anew because it felt oddly natural.
Jihyun had gone from fiancé to acquaintance real quick, nothing but a few exchanges of text messages to the man he used to associate with the concept of love. And Jeongguk. They really broke no sweat into getting in routine.
The younger always stops by and if lucky, spends the night at Taehyung’s. Nights after a tough day of work are honestly the best because the second Jeongguk falls victim to the bed, it’s countered with an attack of kisses. Those were how the first few months went, and now Jeongguk is much more of a staple than he was before.
More so when they go on dates, may it be fancy ones or a poorly planned convenience store run. But his favorites are moments which are subtle. When Jeongguk is working quietly on his desk, the older there to sit beside and lean on him. Or maybe when they’re both dying from the workload and eyes are burning from staring at the laptop too long, so Jeongguk stands to get them food while leaving a ghost of a kiss on Taehyung’s forehead. Mornings where he thinks Jeongguk is going around and meeting clients, discussing whatever interior they want to actually waiting in front of Taehyung’s office ready to take him on a quick lunch date.
They were almost conjoined at the hip, the only thing retaliating against them were the words of that one lonely morning. As one would like to think how romantic and fast paced love is, it’s really not. In real life, it could somehow turn into an awful gamble. Seeing where they stood, Taehyung fresh from heartbreak and Jeongguk who joined him in a romance infused environment to relieve him of said heartbreak. It may look like some beautiful story, but it’s ugly in its essence.
Because the gamble here is whether they should know if Taehyung is marking him as a replacement, a rebound, and Jeongguk questioning if he does feel this way or he got too much of a fictional idea in his head. That playing the role of a husband merely brought these feelings to him.
They do keep their distance, those barriers acting like a shackle to their ankles. And yeah, sometimes Taehyung gets upset a lot when Jeongguk does rain checks. Getting more or less crankier when he hasn’t seen much of the younger, but they both know they need it. Or when Jeongguk takes him on multiple dates, and Taehyung subtly hints that it may be a little too much.
Because as glamorous and cute they are, they’re still playing around the bounds but not really hitting the bullseye. They don’t know where to stand and situate themselves despite becoming so vital for each other.
So none of them saw it happening. What’s more ironic is perhaps the fact that it was so irrevocably mundane.
Taehyung gets placed to be the lead concept and art director of a certain Jung Hoseok, who also happened to hire Jeongguk to fix up the interior of his penthouse in Gangnam and just so happens to be the collaborator who’s working on his comeback stage production. Discussed over and done with, work starts fairly easy and the smiles on their faces less fearful. Because they know they’d see each other everyday without having to think about it being too much. It’s work related, or so they believed.
It was dinner and Hoseok’s new single had just been released, and what better to celebrate it over a barbecue party with his team. The events take place somehow like this as Jeongguk remembers. Taehyung was laughing, shoulder shaking from something about one of their few college daredevil stunts. Soft sound of his chuckles a melodic song to his ears as he continues to stare. And he was so enamored, so caught up in the moment of him being so beautiful, he doesn’t realize that his breath isn’t catching up with him. Like some sort of enchantment, but also a means of finally hitting the center and calling it checkmate.
Because this time, he was so sure. The sight of Taehyung happy and being so so damn beautiful was enough assurance that it’s something he wanted to stick with, a lifetime's worth.
“I love you.”
Taehyung stares back at him in stunned silence, and the younger doesn’t have time to panic because the way his mouth falls was cute enough to distract him. They stay like that, woots and whistles turning mute behind them. His face lighting up again with the words he longed to hear.
“I love you too.”
He leans in, pulls Jeongguk in for a kiss and the rest is history.
A year after Jeju, Jeongguk moves in with Taehyung calling bullshit on their truce about distance because he’s proud and will very much admit that they’re boyfriends now.
Two years, it gets upgraded and they’re now engaged. Jeongguk is too happy and crying over the fact the ring this time is real and legitimate enough, a bridge for them to finally get married.
And once the calendar hit its third year, wedding preparations were on the way. Taehyung, though not vocal, was still a little scared of the events of the past. Having to ask his fiancé if they're sure of all of this. Making an effort to talk to him every second of the day as if Jeongguk is gonna walk out the door anytime. Getting a little paranoid if Jeongguk’s stuff were too neat as if he’s plotting to escape.
But he keeps it all to himself. So when Jeongguk sits beside him, rests his head on Taehyung’s shoulder and whispers something along his ears. He breaks down to tears.
Taehyung recalls it was something along the lines of: “Please believe me when I tell you that I’ll never leave you. I love you too much to do that.” all while pressing reassuring kisses on his shoulder.
Just like that, it was their wedding in the middle of spring where flowers bloomed. Jeongguk insisted on a spring wedding, knowing how Taehyung adores flowers despite his allergies to pollen. Sue allergic rhinitis but if it means seeing his fiance with a flower crown that shapes his beauty perfectly, he could take a hit of pollen from time to time.
Taehyung had insisted he’d be the one waiting at the end of the altar, not wanting to go through and walk and Jeongguk happily agreed with him. Despite it being an open garden wedding, meaning Taehyung could clearly see his fiance walk down and no doors were covering his view.
He did say something about it.
“I’ve had enough of walking down aisles and honestly, I want to see you walk down the aisle, babe.” Jeongguk recalls him saying during wedding rehearsals, making quick changes to the plans and feeling high on happiness at the thought of walking down the aisle.
Here he is now, meeting the end of the aisle with Jeongguk, trying his best not to give out a smile that might rip his lips apart because he feels so damn happy and everything is in place. And there’s not a single grain of doubt in his entire being because he knows he’s sure this time. No insecurities, no distance, no nothing. He never thought he’d feel love this pure.
“You look so beautiful,” Jeongguk grins, taking Taehyung’s hands with his own and entangling their fingers together.
“How many times have you told me that today?”
“Not enough.”
And yes, Jeongguk might’ve paid more attention to Taehyung throughout the ceremony only snapping back to reality to say his vows and put their rings on. The night he hadn’t been able to focus on the movies three years ago made so much more sense now.
He really did feel that way since then, a little scared and that’s why he decided to dip his foot first before deciding to jump right in. Because the time he realized that he’s in love, he never stopped then.
Flowers petals served as their confetti, Jeongguk holding back a sneeze and everyone cheered. Taehyung feels as if his heart is going to explode any second, unbelievably so joyous and a bit teary eyed. Actually, not a bit because when his husband looks at him like he holds everything warm in the world, he bursts into tears.
Which Jeongguk gladly kisses away.
“We’re staying at the same place?” Jeongguk asks, only planning their honeymoon a few weeks after the wedding because of schedule. They earned their place in the entertainment company (which either people love or hate because with them around, the single people are much, much sadly obvious) and it's been busy weeks handling Hoseok’s comeback stages but today is the last day, so that means they’re free to rest for a while.
“I mean it might be nice, where it all started and led us here somehow,” Taehyung takes a seat and looks down at the laptop screen. Same website they used to stare and figure out how to get rid of the games they’re so miserably entitled to play. “Do you still want to do the activities?”
“I don’t need them, we can do it without the need for such games,” Jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows and places his hand on Taehyung’s thigh where teeth marks reside and he’s quick to swat his hand away playfully.
“Nasty,”
“Please you love me,” He counters, watching Taehyung walk away to probably fix up their luggages but Jeongguk pulls at his arm and back to the sofa, gently pushing his chin up to meet and give a small peck. Taehyung glows.
“I do, I love you a lot.” He smiles, finding home on the others lap and deepening the kiss in between giggles and hands brushing over his behind. “Oh, and Jeongguk, don’t wear the I love Jeju shirt.”
Jeongguk feigns offense, huffing and letting go of his back.
“Watch me,”
Taehyung is dumbfounded because Jeongguk had managed to remember the exact outfit he wore the first time they went to Jeju together. What’s more unbelievable is the mischievous spark in his eyes that would’ve given it away, but he looks so proud of what he pulled off so Taehyung lets him be with a smile and a shake of a head.
So, they do arrive in Jeju almost the same way back then, the only difference is that they’re actually married this time and there’s actual rings on their fingers. It’s actually similar to the fake rings they wore (which they still do wear up to this day) only encrusted with a small piece of diamond with gold on its margins. And he’s a little disappointed that Jimin isn’t the one to greet them.
“Didn’t you tell me Jimin told you to chase after me that night?” Jeongguk asks, cheeks against Taehyung’s shoulder as he engulfs him in a back hug.
“He did, he also told me how we didn’t act like husbands. Apparently we did so till the last few days, they saw something.” He explains accompanied with a small laugh. “Guess they saw things before the two of us realized.”
“Hmm, I see, and if we’re still not seen as husbands I swear, I will explode. I want the world to know I’m yours.” Snuggling further and inhaling his flowery scent, Jeongguk is really at peace.
“Where do you want to go first?”
“Long overdue but I want to get another bear like Koo. Then we can name him Tete and finally Koo won’t be lonely anymore.” Jeongguk lets go and sits beside the plushie, patting his head before narrowing his eyes and jokingly hitting it. “So I can cuddle my husband and you won’t steal him away from me.”
“Noted,” He laughs, walking towards the door which Jeongguk quickly follows. They made the decision to rent a car right away to lessen the hassles of public transport, and well, Taehyung doesn’t like walking.
Closing the door and heading to the office, they’re both greeted with a gasp and turn to the direction where it came from and Jimin is there. Free from their usual attendant uniform and looking a little aged-up like the both of them, but it's still surely that feisty little one.
“Oh my god, you two are back,” Jimin half shouts, half whispers, jaw loosening in disbelief.
Jeongguk merely nods, kissing Taehyung on the cheek before telling him he’ll go on ahead to the office to ask for the rental which he answers with a kiss back.
“Nice to see you again,”
“This is so weird, we’re both on honeymoons.” He blurts out and the lack in uniform and formalities made sense, along with the difference in attendants. And Taehyung wasn’t expecting this answer.
“You...you got married?” Asking, he takes a step closer, and finds it amusing how the shameless attendant is strangely shy.
“Yeah, Yoongi’s now my husband.” Jimin flushes, a bit flushed to admit but the look on his face says otherwise and Taehyung’s heart flutters for him.
“Congratulations, Newly Weds!” There’s no mockery towards it, but Jimin thinks otherwise because he sends him that signature icy cold glare. Taehyung marks the score in his head. Taehyung - 1. Jimin - 0.
“You have to tell me what happened between you two.”
They take a seat on the front of the villa, Taehyung quickly sending a text that to Jeongguk that it might take a while for him to follow because Jimin had decided to entertain him with a little chit-chat, in which he quickly replies that he’ll get them food and they should eat it together once he returns.
“Did you renew your vows? Doesn’t that usually happen ten years into marriage?” He asks, resting his weight on his hand as he turns to Taehyung for an answer.
“If I told you me and Jeongguk weren’t married the first time we went here, would you have kicked us out?”
“Of course!” Jimin seethes, eyes fueling with anger. “God, I cannot tell you how many people do that to get our facilities. It’s a place strictly for honeymoon couples. Why would you ask that?”
“What if…” Taehyung says in a singsong voice. “Me and Jeongguk were really not married. I got ghosted by my ex-fiance and we went here so no more money will be wasted. So, we pretended to be married for you to not kick us out and well, we kinda fell in love and now we’re back as a real couple.”
“Oh my fucking god, are you serious? Wait, that would make so much sense?! Kim Taehyung!” Standing up, he almost loses his balance because it's all coming together, the awkward behavior, the non-existent tension that gradually increased each day they spent in the villa.
“It’s Jeon Taehyung but okay, I took his last name and I like it but yes. I think you’re getting where I’m at and I miss my husband so I’m gonna go and meet him now. Say my congratulations to Yoongi as well!” Taehyung chimes and walks away, leaving a perplexed Jimin behind.
He makes his way towards the main office, Jeongguk leaning on the desk as he probably fills up something for the car rental. And he happily hops towards him so that he could surprise him with a hug.
“Oh, thought it’d take a while?” He questions, not even looking back but knowing exactly whose arms wrap around his tiny waits, familiar by the amount of times it spent there.
“Leaving him confused is better, and yeah we could’ve gotten kicked out years ago so I’m glad you played my husband, but I’m more glad you’re now my husband.” He plants a kiss to his cheek, Jeongguk feeling his heart swell over the softness of the touch. Still burning, but it's a gentle warmth.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Where are you taking me? Wait, we're getting a Tete now?” Taehyung’s eyes sparkle latching onto Jeongguk’s figure
“Could be,” He smiles back neither confirming or denying whatever they’re planning to do and Taehyung jumps at the excitement of an impromptu date because he loves those. Because no matter where they go, as cheesy as it sounds, as long as it’s him. He’ll go.
Jeongguk hums along the random track playing across the radio, perfectly still as he holds Taehyung’s hand in his while he drives. Yeah, he likes those hands a tad bit too much.
“You seem very excited. Too excited.” His fiance, oh wait, his heart skips a beat - his husband tells him, tapping his fingers against the back of his hands, leaning closer towards him though Taehyung is well aware that he cannot in fact distract Jeongguk while driving.
“Me? Nah, far from it. I’m absolutely bored out of my mind.” He rolls his eyes, tone dripping in sarcasm but the smile of his face never fades away. It’s nearing sundown now, sky turning pink which bathes him in such a wonderful color when the light hits the car. Something so wonderful unraveling before him.
“You pain me,” He answers, slowly realizing why the road they’re taking was familiar. The houses and their shapes resonate in his head, a mosaic of booths and pastries and a violin playing to a sound of a love song and then his brain reconnects all the dots when Jeongguk stops by a certain street, the same one where they ran with chocolate on their lips and the taste of strawberries in their mouths.
“We’re here.” Nudging at him gently, Jeongguk opens the door and swiftly maneuvers around the vehicle, opening Taehyung’s side while his brain is too enamored and shocked to catch up with his actions.
“You remember that?” Stepping off the car, he almost falls over not wanting to take off his eyes on the arc right before him. And it’s still unbelievably intact, more wild flowers molding themselves to its shape and it was more of a sight to see than three years ago.
“Of course,” Jeongguk steadies him, and it’s cute how he still blushes despite knowing him for most of his life and promising to love him until the rest. “I remember you mentioning it and you were so excited and we’re back so I thought, why not?”
“Jeongguk, I love you so fucking much.” Leaping back into his arms, he gives a rushed kiss on the tip of his nose and immediately tugs him towards the arc’s general direction.
And in those cliche romantic comedy movies, the world slows down at a very specific and important scene. Jeongguk wasn’t really a fan of those, not understanding the concept of it but as Taehyung’s hair grow lighter due to the dipping sun, clothes bouncing off his figure and his smile, where sometimes he’s so happy his face can’t hold it and he radiates everything that screams love.
Jeongguk sees in all in slow motion transpiring before his eyes.
“Ready?” Taehyung questions him, an inch away from crossing the inside of the structure.
“Yes,” He’s breathless and his hand is once again tangled with his lovers as they gradually make their way across the arc. And though nothing much changes, there’s really nothing climactic going on but it’s so perfect. “We’re bonded by the universe now.”
“You’re such a hopeless romantic.”
“I am no-”
“It made me want to be a hopeless romantic too.” Jeongguk quickly tells him, biting at his lower lip because he’s beaming with a smile and he’s just so content. His heart feels so at peace, and Taehyung’s hand feels so right.
“You’re my after.” Taehyung kisses his forehead. “Before and after, and I thought back then that when my beginnings were horrible, the end was horrible too but you came and it’s you who mattered in the end. I love you,” Taehyung kisses the tip of his nose.
“I love you so much.” Taehyung kisses his lips.
And above superstitions and the concept of arcs binding them together, the two of them somehow both had an idea that those may hold true meanings, but they know the searing and loving vibrating through their souls are much bigger than that.
( “Do you want to walk through it again?” Jeongguk asks, Taehyung’s lips still lingering on his, ready for another kiss.
“For what?”
“I want us to be bonded by the universe twice, God, I want you in my life forever.”
Taehyung laughs.
And they do walk through it again.)