Chapter Text
The “true love” or “soulmate” or whatever Camille had mentioned in the cave the other day was the least of Mao’s concerns. Besides, it’s not like he’d be meeting any other eligible merfolk bachelors in this state. He hadn’t had anything to eat except fish and he was still craving real meat, The next person he saw after getting out of this tank would be in for a bad day.
A few days passed, people came and gawked at the legendary creature, and Mao Mao eventually stopped trying to attack and lunge at the crowds. Business was booming and the restaurant had gotten incredibly popular over such a short time. People came from all over to see the real, living mermaid.
Mao Mao couldn’t escape just yet. Bigger more substantial fish were periodically placed in the tank for him to eat, he was hoping one of them would have a bone he could jimmy the locks with, but so far they had all been so small or brittle. “It’s just a matter of time” he thought to himself. His massive ego had kept him afloat, but it stung thinking about what he would tell his family when he got home.
Ugh. He crushed the closest fish with his hand out of frustration.
———————————
Badgerclops rolled out of bed at 2pm. Another day. He was beginning to get concerned about how the monotony of his life was affecting his mental health. Oh well, he was hungry anyway.
He checked his phone as he waited for the water to boil. It was all the same stuff he hated seeing but at least it was something to do.
The guy he’d matched with on Dating App TM had agreed to pay for dinner. Score! free food. Plus the restaurant he had picked out was hella expensive, so maybe this dude was rich.
“....oh shit my ramen!” The water for his instant ramen had boiled and completely overflowed onto the stove. There wasn’t nearly enough water left in the pot to cook in, so he just took a bite out of the dried noodle block. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day after all.
Soon enough 5 o clock rolled around and Badgerclops had to roll out of bed (again) to get ready for the date. Maybe if this guy actually was loaded he could get him to pay for more dates in the future.
If he expected this guy to let him mooch, he at least had to look decent. Fortunately he still had that one good button-up shirt from a couple years ago. Hopefully it still fit.
———
He tried to get to there early, first impressions and all, but he still ended up 10 minutes late.
“Badgerclops?” a spotted dog stood to greet him with a smile.
“Hey Marty,” he smiles awkwardly, ugh it had been way too long since he went out somewhere formal. “...So do you uh,, come here often?” Real smooth, idiot.
Marty just chuckled, “I’ve been here once before, but it seems they’ve really outdone themselves recently.”
Badgerclops really didn’t care about the history of the restaurant or whatever, but he wanted to keep the conversation going. “oh, uh what do you mean by that?”
“Well for starters they got a new mystic exhibit! It’s been the talk of the town recently, at first I thought it was a hoax, but see for yourself,” He pointed to the other side of the restaurant where most of the patrons had gathered, vying for the attention of a mermaid.
“Oh yeah,” Badgerclops said unconvinced, “didn’t this place have a different “mermaid” that was just some guy in a suit?” He tried to laugh it off and change the subject, but Marty was weirdly persistent about this.
“No no, this one is *real*! 100% authentic! Sirens are supposed to sing, so I thought we would be hear for a romantic dinner-and-a-show, but most people have been saying that this one is just for looks.”
“Uh huh. So what do you do for a living?”
——————
The rest of his date went smoothly, Badgerclops offered to go back to his place afterwards, but Marty wanted to take it slower. They planned a second date next week.
“Still got it Badgy-boy!” He congratulated himself on the successful night. Before he left he wanted to get a closer look at the so-called “mermaid”, no way this weird little restaurant had a real siren.
As he approached, the mermaid instantly perked up, a million different emotions he couldn’t decipher were playing out on his face. But he was more focused on the tail and looking for seams or imperfections in the fabric. It.. looked pretty real actually.
Loud banging on the glass snapped him out of his trance. It was the mermaid. “Oh, sorry dude, I didn’t mean to—“ His apology wasn’t cut off by singing, the mermaid was singing to him. He held his little paws up to the glass and was looking at him so intensely. Honestly it was a kind of uncomfortable. Badgerclops face warmed as the siren sung even louder, Uncomfortable-Prolonged-Eye-Contact unwavering.
“Oh my word!”
He jumped at the sudden voice behind him “ACK! Sorry, I was just—“
“It must really like you...” the tall fox behind him thought for a moment. “Say, if you can come in and get our fish to sing on a regular schedule, you can eat here whenever you’d like for a year, on the house!”
Free food did sound nice... the siren was still staring at him, but he had stopped singing. Even if he seemed a little weird, he couldn’t decline that offer. “Sure, when do you want me to come in?”
“I’ll discuss the details with my partner, we’ll give you a call once it’s settled. Until then, Beary-cap!” He left with a bow.
“It’s actually Badgercl- oh he’s gone, He left. Ok.”
As he went to leave himself, he spared another glance at the aquarium, mermaid still staring at him, now almost,,, desperately? “What a weird fish.”