Chapter Text
“I like you Hanako. Maybe – be with me?”
A single cherry blossom petal swirled through the air and landed on Taemin’s shoulder, the young merman looking at it and blowing it away as he huddled behind a rock, eavesdropping on a conversation that was hard for him to follow. He took a peek when there was no reply and saw two young people kiss each other, both of them wearing school uniforms, the girl having a black leather briefcase sitting in her lap. It was an awkward kiss, clumsy and inelegant, but Taemin still kept looking, his heart aching at the thought of what kissing had felt like to him in the past.
Months hadn’t improved anything about the ache in his chest – nor had a year. Seasons had come and gone, Taemin’s feelings staying unchanged. There was a twitching in his fin that he had tried to ignore for days now, knowing what it meant, but not wanting to give in, trying to fight nature's call.
Spring had arrived and while his heart had been too occupied with pain to follow his instincts the previous year, the urge to swim back to Jeju Island was now worse than it had ever been. Electricity was in the water, animals coming together, humans coming together, sea people coming together, their minds muddled, carnal desires predominating reason.
Taemin looked after the humans longingly as they left hand in hand and glanced at each other. He envied them. He envied them for having found a partner. As hard as the merman had tried to use logic over emotion, he hadn’t managed to shut his screaming heart, the feelings of anger and betrayal, which had accompanied him when he had left Jeju Island, gradually having turned into feelings of longing. The merman couldn’t escape the nature of sea people although he knew that in the end, he wouldn’t find a mermaid to copulate with, he never would, having no desire to do so, but the pull to go back to where he was born was too strong as to ignore it forever.
He held onto his last bit of willpower for another week before the pull in his fishtail overpowered him and he packed his self-made bag and left to go home – whatever home was now. On his way to Japan he had been attacked by a tiger shark, the traces forever visible on his body, deep pinkish marks where the predator had tried to bite his shoulder, and a piece of his tailfin missing where it had managed to get him. Taemin had been able to shake him off, lucky that the blood pouring from his shoulder hadn’t attracted more sharks. On his way back to Jeju Island he was more careful, only swimming during the day, trying to find small islands to rest during the night.
The journey took four days, anticipation, and refusal spreading through his limbs as he caught sight of the island from afar and he realized that nothing had changed at all and yet everything was different. Although pheromones wafted through the sea and Taemin could sense them, they left him unaffected. He looked for Byeol but couldn’t find the little starfish, his heart sinking when he realized that even the last constant in his life had left him. The cliffs were unoccupied, glittering in the late afternoon sun, no lovers declaring their love to each other at the bottom.
He pulled himself out of the water to settle down on the natural rock jetty, enjoying the prickling sensation as the sun dried his skin. There were so many memories attached to this place that were hard to fathom, Taemin’s fingers running along the stones, feeling their warmth, every single one of them able to tell stories about all the lovers who had come down the cliffs to confess.
The sun began to set when Taemin noticed a fisher boat at the horizon come closer at a steady speed, the merman slipping back into the water to hide behind a boulder. It was unusual for fisher boats to drive so close along the cliffs, the harbor being on the other side of the island. But who knew what had happened in all the time he had been gone. The roaring of the engine could be heard from afar, getting louder and louder until it cut off with a rattling noise, the lack of movement making Taemin frown. Waves crashed against the shore, the merman observing the white little boat, which looked battered and shabby, lacquer flaked off, the railing rusty.
Taemin wanted to be left alone and bathe in the last rays of sunshine, not in the mood to share the cliffs with a fisherman. He looked up when he saw a person step out of the cabin on board, body hidden in shadows. The merman expected the person to do a lot of things but not to jump into the water and swim over, his body ducking away, not wanting to get caught. He only came up after a while, wanting to know who had disturbed his first peaceful evening at home, breath getting caught in his lungs when his eyes fell on an all too familiar figure. The shoulders were a little broader, the muscles in the arms a little more prominent, but the silhouette couldn’t be mistaken, the body too ingrained in Taemin’s head as to be forgotten in a year.
The human sat at the tip of the rock jetty in a pair of blue swimming trunks, hair pitch black and combed out of his face, his legs crossed as he ate his dinner, Taemin recognizing the smell of roasted beef immediately, his mouth beginning to water.
His brain couldn’t grasp the concept of seeing the other again, to witness him breathe and move and exist right in front of his eyes and not in his memories and dreams. Holding onto the rocks in front of him, Taemin watched him, not knowing how to react. When did the other come back? What was he doing on a boat? Did he come back to the cliffs every night in the hope Taemin would return eventually? The merman's heart drummed in his chest, his fishtail twitching with urgency, need pulling in the depth of his tummy. He clawed his nails into the rocks, and broke off the smallest pieces, his eyes falling on a bracelet on the human’s arm. Contrary to Taemin, the human hadn’t taken off his bracelet and still wore it, still carrying a piece of the merman with him.
The sun made the small driblets of water shimmer on the human’s tanned skin and Taemin's fingers trembled, the smallest of fires flaring up in the pits of his stomach, sparking a sensation he hadn’t experienced in so long. His brain told him to stay hidden and forget all about the human, who had abandon him, but his heart shouted at him to come out of hiding and reveal himself to the other. In a moment of negligence, Taemin gripped the rocks too forcefully and snapped off a bigger portion, the piece of rock dropping into the sea with a loud plop, the merman blinking when the human’s head turned around and their eyes met for the first time in so long. Several things happened all at once, the container with food falling onto the stones, the human calling out the merman’s name in shock, and Taemin diving into the water with a quickly beating heart, too stunned by the emotions drumming down on him after hearing his name being spoken out loud.
There was a splash and when Taemin looked for the source of the sound he saw the human pedaling as he tried to keep himself underwater. The merman wanted to flee and escape, but couldn’t. He was glued to the spot, not able to move, numbed by the other’s presence, his eyes fixed on the human who swam over to him, heart knocking against his chest, wanting to break out.
A hand touched his arm and sent off sparks inside of him, the sensation so raw, so real, and so intense. Fingertips ran over the scars on his shoulder, concern washing over the human’s features. The merman let it all happen, hypnotized. He saw lips form the words ‘Come up’, and fingers point to the surface, but he didn’t react, was transfixed with shock, only a hand persistently tugging at his wrist finally able to coax him into following the human. When they broke through the water Taemin didn’t have time to prepare himself for what happened next, the human slinging his arms and legs around him, the merman so startled that they almost drowned, his instincts having to kick in to make his tailfin sway from left to right to keep them above water.
“Taemin.” There was his name again, softly spoken but with an unknown urgency. “Taemin – oh my god.” Every part of his body was ablaze, fire licking his skin and burning him wherever their bodies touched. “Taeminnie – you are back.”
It felt like they had never parted, their bodies fitting perfectly together, the human’s touch still sending the same exhilarating sensations down his spine despite Taemin’s unwillingness to accept them.
“I was so worried – oh god, I was so worried about you.”
The other’s voice sounded choked up, fingers digging into his nape, nose burying into his neck, Taemin’s arms hanging down inside the water with no place to go.
“Why were you worried?”
They were the first words he had spoken since he had left Jeju, his lips and tongue rebelling against having to form into such an unnatural shape, his mouth not used to communicating anymore.
A chuckle, low and comforting echoed in his ears, the vibration making his skin shiver, water sloshing against their bodies, the sea symbolizing the complete opposite of what he felt inside.
“Taeminnie, you were gone – for such a long time.”
The human straightened up, dark eyes looking at him, scanning his features, fingertips brushing strands of hair out of his face very as if the human didn’t want to break him.
“You were gone first. You left me.”
Taemin’s throat tightened and he could feel tears welling up inside of him, erupting from the deepest part of his heart.
“I know, Taemin. I know.” Fingertips grazed his cheeks, caressed his skin and he wanted to push the other off, wanted to swim away, but he couldn’t, his body absorbing the other’s warmth, and losing himself in the sensation of being close to the human again after being apart for so long, the longing for physical contact overpowering his senses, robbing him of any will to flee.
“I know Taeminnie,” the human reiterated, hand wandering down his neck and settling on his shoulder. “And I will regret that for the rest of my life. As soon as I had left I regretted it already, please believe that.”
The human swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. Taemin wanted to kiss it, lean forward, tilt his head and press his mouth against it, wanted to feel the other's strong pulse under his lips, feelings from the past resurfacing and dancing around in his head, letting him remember all the good things that had happened to him, the beautiful memories he had made with the human.
“Why did you not come back?” Taemin blinked, eyes gazing at the human clinging onto him inside the ocean, the water around them sparkling in the light of the setting sun.
“I did,” the human said, voice louder now, posture upright. “I came back, but you were gone. I’ve been coming here every night for over a year, Taeminnie. I – I hoped that you would come back. Eventually. One day.”
The thought that Taemin had spent a year at the coast of another country to escape his broken heart while the other had waited for him all this time was almost unbearable. He had spent nights looking at the photo he had taken with him in moments of weakness, thinking about what he had lost and that he would never trust another human again only for the human who had hurt him to sit down at the cliffs hundreds of miles away and wait for him every day.
“I do not –” Taemin paused and licked his lips with a scowl, “I do not know what to say.”
“Where have you been?”
“Japan.”
The human’s eyes wandered down to his shoulder, fingertips brushing over his scars.
“You got hurt.”
“A shark,” Taemin commented briefly, his body trembling underneath the touch. Something inside of him didn’t want to give in to the sensations bellowing inside of him and tried to remind him that people from the sea used their brains and not their hearts to make decisions.
The human’s head turned to the shore. “Sit with me? So we can talk?”
“I –”
“Please,” the human insisted, fingertips wandering lower, disappearing underneath the water, crawling down his forearm until they reached his hand. The human let go of him then, the grip around his waist loosening. Taemin looked after him, saw him swim towards the rock jetty, and pull himself out of the water.
Taemin didn’t want to but his fishtail moved on its own accord, setting the merman into motion and before he knew it he found himself sitting next to the human, feeling like only a day had passed since they had last sat next to each other on the stones, bathing in the evening light, rice, beef, and kimchi lying next to his fin. He couldn’t help but pick a piece of meat up, his heart fluttering in his chest as the juicy taste filled his mouth.
“I can’t believe you are back.” The human sat in front of him with crossed legs, hand hesitantly reaching out to touch Taemin’s fingers lying spread out on the warm stones.
“It is my nature. We always come back to where we were born,” Taemin said, not wanting to give the other the feeling that he had come back for him. His pride was in the way. The human nodded and then picked up his deserted lunchbox to fill it with the pieces of beef lying around and give it to Taemin.
“So you didn’t look for me?” he asked in a soft voice, gaze lowered as Taemin held the container in both hands. He wanted to use his favorite word and answer him with ‘No’, but couldn’t bring himself to say it, the look on the other’s face reminding him of the first time they had met and how heartbroken the human had been. He placed the lunchbox aside and reached for one of the containers in his bag to pull out the photo he had carried around for so long. It had suffered quite a bit from living inside the container, the material not water-proof, letting the paper become wavy with time, a tear visible at one of the edges, dirt having scratched parts of the surface.
“You took it with you?” There was a soft smile on the human’s lips and he reached forward, taking the photo into his hands, “I thought you might have thrown it away as you did with the letter.”
“You have been to the waterfalls?”
The human tilted his head and looked at him with one eye closed, a cheeky grin on his lips. “Of course, Taeminnie. I still sleep there sometimes.”
The merman was surprised and he looked over to the ocean, his eyes falling onto the fisher boat swaying in the water.
“Is that yours?”
A light nod. “Yes. I live on it now. I sold most of the stuff I had so I could buy it. I’ve kind of become a fisherman.” The human scratched his head when Taemin looked at him.
“Why?”
“I told you I would come up with a solution,” he said, his thumb trying to clean the dirty surface of the photo, “A boat as a living and working space was the best option I could come up with. It’s not much. The cabin is super small and the bed not very comfortable, but it’s enough.”
Taemin’s forehead creased and he cocked his head, not quite understanding why the human had given up the luxury of a bed and a house in an exchange for an old, rusty boat. So all he could do was to ask for the ‘why’ again, his tailfin twitching when the other began to laugh. He had missed hearing that sound.
“Taeminnie. You don’t know why I did this? Come on.” The words sounded playful, almost teasing, the human’s hand tugging a strand of hair behind Taemin’s ear, “You live inside the water. Sadly, I can’t live in it, but the next best thing I can do is to live on the water, no? I can accompany you wherever you want to go now. That’s what you wished for, right?”
The merman was speechless, staring at the human in shock, imagining all the possibilities. He wouldn’t have to leave anymore, he could stay with Taemin. A twinge of hope gnawed at his heart, wanted to be acknowledged and celebrated, but a cloak of doubt layered on top of it, making him question the other’s intentions.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want to be with you,” the human answered him right away, the straightforwardness of the other’s words a shock.
“But I am not human.”
“And I am not a merman,” he shrugged and got up, “Don’t go away, okay? I’ll be right back.”
With that, the human jumped into the water and swam towards the boat, Taemin looking after him, not knowing what to do. He hadn't thought that he would ever see Jinki again, but now both of them were back where they had first met, the view and their hearts unchanged, the scenery as beautiful as Taemin remembered it. He kept his eyes glued to the human as he ate the beef, too afraid that the other might disappear again if he looked somewhere else. When he came back he carried a small box in his hand, water dripping down his skin as he climbed out of the ocean. He combed his hair back and sat back down in front of Taemin with a smile, one so sweet and infectious that it was hard not to mimic it.
“I wanted to give this to you. You always liked pretty, sparkly things, right? I hoped that I would get the chance to give it to you one day,” the human said and opened the small box in his hand, revealing a white gold ring with a big amethyst sitting in the middle framed by smaller aquamarine stones which run around the ring, “Blue for the ocean and purple for you.”
Taemin was mesmerized by the sparkling of the ring and was sure that he had never seen any prettier jewelry in his life.
“For me?”
He held his hand against his chest, heart thumping loudly. Taemin had seen so many humans sit here at the bottom of the cliffs receiving rings, but not once had he imagined that he would be given one himself one day, wondering if this particular ring was enchanted as well and would bind him to the human for the rest of his life if he accepted it.
“Of course. If you want it, it’s yours.”
“I want it,” Taemin said, the stones glittering in the evening sun. He shivered when the human took his hand and slipped it on his ring finger. A perfect fit. Thumb sweeping over the big stone in the middle he looked up at Taemin, head cocked.
“Do you want me too or just the ring?” he asked, insecurity ringing in his voice.
Taemin knew what to say, the words at the tip of his tongue, heart trembling as he looked at the human he hadn’t seen in so long. His instincts had brought him here, but it was his heart that would make him stay.
“You too.”
The merman couldn’t remember ever seeing Jinki smile so brightly, eyes almost disappearing as the corners of his lips curled upwards. At last, Taemin cupped the human's face in his hands to caress his cheeks, nose, chin, and mouth before he leaned forward to press their foreheads together. It was the highest form of intimacy shown between sea people, a sign that they were one, that Jinki was part of his family now. Energy pulsated through his veins, gathering in the depth of his tummy and at the tips of his fingers, a warm glow covering their bodies as he whispered, “You are mine for now and forever.”
“Forever,” came the soft-spoken reply, Taemin smiling at his human, touching his face, never wanting to part again, his lips searching the other’s for a kiss to seal their eternal bond.
And so we see, dear reader, that nothing in this world has to be impossible, that even the love of people so different from one another can overcome every obstacle if only their intentions are pure and their hearts are kind. Go out and be brave as you will never know how a mundane chance encounter might change your life forever.