Chapter Text
She stayed. Dear gods. He wasn’t sure how’d he’d managed that, but he'd pulled it off. She stayed. She listened as he told her everything. About his sons, Zak and Lee. About Carolyn. He tried to tell her, tried to explain what had happened what it had been like. Tried to explain how they'd gotten there. Even if he’d never been able to explain it fully explain even to himself.
‘I didn’t see it.’
I never saw, he thought.
‘But then I was always gone. At least,’ he smiled, ‘that’s what Lee tells me.’
‘Yeah.’ She hesitated even as she smiled. ‘He’s unh, really pissed.’
That was an understatement.
‘Yeah. I broke his family.’
‘That’s what he thinks.’
‘That’s what I did.’
‘Really? From what you've told me, it seems like and Carolyn were already living separate lives. All the extra duty time you were taking on, her girl time away…’
He sighted. He wished she didn’t see things so clearly.
‘Still. I did break his family. I made the decision to file for divorce. And anyway, they didn’t see all of that. Far as they’re considered, one day we were fine, the next, we were all just broken. Before, the situation wasn’t ideal, but they knew who to deal with it. What to expect. What was expected of them. Mostly. Now; they don't.’
They sat in silence a moment longer before he decided it was safe to move on to other problems since he was pretty sure she’d decided against pushing him any further.
‘It must have gotten pretty bad, then.’
He heard what she left unsaid and knew she meant him to. It was true. It had simply become unbearable. He’d come to the realization that whatever the cost of filing the divorce paperwork, it was better for him, and his sons, to forcefully break out of the unhealthy spiral he and Carolyn had fallen into. Long-term they would see that. At least he hoped so. He prayed so.
The two of them, him and Carolyn. They’d been magic together. And then poison. He hoped with him out of the picture the situation for the boys would de-escalate itself. He hoped he wasn’t wrong.
‘I was sure she’d refocus on the boys without me around.’
Suddenly all the pain and exhaustion he’d been fighting off was back.
‘It will work out. I swear it.’
‘That’s what you were trying to explain to Lee.’
I broke his family, remember?’
She sighed.
‘At least from his point of view.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Give him time, Bill. Just be there.’
He suddenly laughed, gesturing at the traction he was caught up in.
‘Where else am I going to go?’