Chapter Text
It wasn’t unusual for Newt to be early. He cursed his knack for timekeeping at times, because even if he was already running late he’d still be the first one there. Of course he wouldn’t want to go with Thomas, and though he didn’t like being alone and waiting for people, he had to get his thoughts in order before Thomas arrives. So there he was, sitting at their usual table at CBTL with a double chocolate latte at hand.
“Holy fuck, I’m screwed. I’m so bloody screwed.” He murmured, earning a few disconcerting looks from the couple at the table adjacent to his. Him realising he likes Thomas was bad enough, but now that he just so much as thinks he has a chance with the boy sent him on a downward spiral into the current black hole he considers his life. And to add to the current turmoil he’s in, which he considers on the borderline of an existential crisis because he was just about to question his purpose in life when the answer to that just walked in the shop. Wait, did I just think my purpose in life is Tommy?
Newt didn’t have time to ponder more on his sudden realisation because Thomas spotted him easily enough, waving to him and gesturing for him to wait as he got his order, an ice blended white chocolate dream as usual. A sigh of relief escaped Newt’s lips, partly thanking him for arriving and alleviating his slight panic of being alone as well as brightening up Newt’s day with his smile (though he couldn’t forget about the peck to his cheek, which would probably the highlight of his year at this point). After a couple of minutes, Thomas threw his wallet on the table and dropping his bag on the floor, sitting down and beaming brightly at Newt as soon as he got comfortable.
“So, what is it you wanted to talk about?” He asked, cheery as he drank his fill. It was quite chilly outside but that didn’t stop him from ordering his usual.
“I think you know full well what I want to talk about.” Newt sighed, taking a sip from his drink before putting it down and leaning in. “I— well I want to talk about feelings….mine…and well, our relationship…” he whispered, blushing slightly.
“And what about them?” Thomas questioned, a slight teasing tone hinted as he put his drink down after another big gulp.
“Oh please, Thomas. Just—“ A groan. Then a pause. “Ok, if I start talking now, you have to promise not to say anything. And by that I mean anything, Tommy.”
“I promise.” Thomas replied easily enough, he even extended is pinky finger to prove his point. Newt rolled his eyes but pinky promised anyway, praying he’d actually keep it.
It wasn’t in Newt’s nature to talk much, and his little spiel would probably be the longest time he’s talked since he was born, but he had to get it off his chest and shy glances accompanied by slight touching won’t cut it. A deep breath.
“Okay so ever since we met I’ve kinda had a crush on you and—“ He looked at Thomas, who now bit his bottom lip to keep quiet, sinking into his chair. Newt sneered at him for a while before continuing, leaning back and sinking into his chair as well. “And so I’ve been trying to get to know you better so I decided to pull a Pavlov on you—which is basically conditioning, I’m pretty sure you know what that is, yea?” He paused, waiting for Thomas to nod before continuing. “I did that with the Hershey’s kisses, if you hadn’t already realised. After a while, I’m assuming it worked because you got all excited whenever you saw me and I started hoping you’d see me as something more than a chocolate dispenser, which worked since I’m assuming we’re friends. But then you disappeared—“ He sighed, looking at Thomas who seemed as though he’d start bleeding from biting his lower lip so hard. Newt raised a brow, leaning forward to reach for Thomas’ hand and gestured for him to use that instead of biting his hand before continuing. “You got sick and you weren’t at school for a week and you show up with a bloody girl next to you and wow, I didn’t even know I could feel that much pain in an instant.”
Thomas couldn’t help it now, but he did make a promise. So it was his turn to lean in and reach for Newt’s hand, squeezing it before letting go and looking him straight in the eyes as though saying sorry before leaning back once more, gesturing for him to continue.
Newt sighed and balled up his fists, unsure what to feel about Thomas’ previous gesture, especially with what he’s about to say. “And that’s when I realised this was more than just a happy crush, and that I’ve fallen hard and oh God, Tommy, I didn’t think I’d be one to talk about love at first sight but I guess that’s what happened and bloody fucking hell I hate it.” Another sigh. He looked at Thomas, whose face was painted in all kinds of confused, which he thought was adorable, and continued. “Damn it, Tommy, you should know this isn’t normal. We’re both guys, and I know that it’s an overrated way of thinking, especially in our generation, but it’s still weird no matter how you look at it. You could be doing so many things and hanging out with so many other people but I feel as though now you’re stuck with me and I hate it. I’m not the greatest person and I know that, I’m a horrible person and I admit to it. I’m not kind, I’m not genuine, and my self-confidence is below hell. And I don’t know if we’ll even work, if ever you do feel the same for me, and God I don’t want to be the reason you’re life’s a mess, Tommy. I just want what’s best for you and I honest to God don’t think that’s me. But I fucking love you and I wouldn’t know how to deal with you dating other people and smiling at other people and just the thought makes me sick to my bloody stomach so here I am, making a mess of things and am currently asking you to please, from now on, stay away from me.” He breathed out, catching his breath. That was definitely the most he’s talked since he was born.
He couldn’t look Thomas in the eye. He didn’t know what to do, in all honesty, and his hands were turning white. “Newt.” He heard Thomas say, reluctantly looking up to meet his gaze. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, was it disappointment? Disgust? He didn’t know, but he was going to find out soon enough. “My turn.” Thomas said, sitting up and putting his now empty cup on the table. “As you said, you have to promise not to interrupt. I didn’t, and I expect the same from you.” Newt wasn’t used to seeing and hearing Thomas sound so serious, and he’d suddenly become so afraid of the man in front of him, the dawning realisation that he was, in fact, a man and not a boy. He nodded in response, and it was now his turn to bite his bottom lip.
“Okay,” He started, clearing his throat. “First of all, I knew about the Pavlov thing after the first week. I’m not as dumb as people make me out to be.” He sighed, recalling his last report card that sported flush As and wondering why people didn’t think he was the smart type. He was actually pretty studious, but that wasn’t the problem right now. This confession, though, made Newt’s eyes grow wide and it took all of his restraint to not laugh at the other boy and his confusion. “Second, I love you too. I honestly think I realised that sooner than you did. I talked about it with Teresa, by the way, and said she was fully supporting it but only if she approved, which she does, by the way.” He reassured him, smiling at the other for a moment before continuing. “Third, you are not responsible for my happiness, and I am not responsible for yours. But if I contribute to it and you contribute to mine, why shouldn’t we go out? Honestly, Newt, don’t you think you’re putting too little faith in my knack for judging people? I’m wounded.” He sighed, jokingly clutching his chest in an attempt to lighten up the mood but in the end it only earned him a raise of an eyebrow from Newt. “Anyway,” He coughed, clearing his throat and adjusting his jacket— he really should’ve removed it before sitting down but now it’s too late, he thought— “If you want me to be happy, Newt, you’d be with me. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun in the past 17 years of my life and I think that’s enough proof to make you realise you’ve made me happy beyond all reason. And that you should be with me.” He ended, reaching for Newt’s still balled up hand before giving it a reassuring pat and a soft kiss.
Newt didn’t know how to deal with the current situation, however, this being the first time he’s ever had genuine feelings for someone and Thomas’ sweet gestures only made him stand up abruptly, earning a few glances from the other patrons of CBTL. “No.” He muttered, shaking his head. “Tommy, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice now more audible, he breathed out, trying to calm down. “I swear, Tommy, I’m not the type to let go. I’m not going to bloody let you go and then you’ll realise you’ve made a mistake and I can’t have you leaving me, Tommy. I just can’t.”
“But you’re already asking me to leave, Newt.” Thomas retorted, grabbing the armrests to prevent himself from standing up as well.
“No but this is temporary. If anything else goes on between us, I’m sure it’ll become permanent then. And I can’t have that, Tommy.” Newt replied, trying to explain but not finding the right words to do so.
“Newt, I just told you, you’re not responsible for my happiness.” Thomas said, reaching for Newt’s hand and gripping him firmly enough to prevent him from shaking him off. “And I’m choosing you. For God’s sake, Newt, we’re just about to graduate high school. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. Why not take a chance now?”
“Because we’re graduating, idiot. Something might happen in the few months we have left and I might ruin everything for you and it’s your future we’re talking about, that I can’t fix with chocolate, Thomas.” Newt was desperately trying to hold back his tears now, biting his bottom lip and urging himself to not let his tears flow.
“Newt, nothing is going to happen. Why are you so pessimistic?”
“Why are you so optimistic?!” At this point, Newt’s voice turned into a shout, which led to him unable to resist the tears. Now he was a sobbing mess and everyone in the café was looking at them and he didn’t know what to do. Thomas got up from his seat, and Newt was sure it was all over then, but he started walking towards him and grabbed him and pulled Newt into a warm embrace, followed by a soft kiss on the lips.
“Honestly, Newt, you’re such a drama queen. There’s less than 3 months till we graduate. With our grades, I’m pretty sure we’ll end up out of state. We’ve talked about college and I’m sure as hell we’ll get into the same ones, so stop worrying, calm down, and date me.”
Everyone suddenly started cheering for them, spouting congratulations and raising their cups for the two. Newt didn’t know if there was a shade of red any darker and brighter than he was at that moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else besides “You’re so bloody stupid, Tommy.” and running out of the establishment after quickly gathering his things.
Thomas deemed that as a win, thanking the other patrons who just witnessed their noontime drama live and headed over to the counter, tipping the barista on shift and asking him to keep quiet and hoping he’d still let them in next time they’re around.
“Sure thing, man. Congratulations. Can’t believe you won him over but a win’s a win.” The barista, Aris, he noted, commented.
“Thanks. And well, I think that’s the last win I’ll get in a while.” He chuckled, waving goodbye as he ran after Newt. It’s a good thing he’s not in shape. He’s so slow. He thought, catching up to an exhausted Newt as he rounded the corner for his house.
“Well that was an interesting first date.” Thomas commented, shocking Newt. He didn’t think he’d catch up to him, but then he remembered Thomas telling him he was in the track and field vanity when he was in middle school. Goddamn it, could you stop being perfect?
“That wasn’t a date, Tommy.” Newt retorted, slowing down and transitioning into his normal paced walk.
“Oh. Well then. When’s our first official one?” Thomas teased, nudging him as he walked alongside him.
“Damn it, Tommy, I never said yes.”
“You never said no.”
“N—“ Before he could finish the word, soft lips were on his once more, and he couldn’t help himself from wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. As Thomas pulled back, his arms wrapped around his waist, a smirk was plastered on his face. “I hate you.” Newt muttered, pushing him away before brisk walking to his house.
“Now we both know that isn’t true.”
“I like you less?”
“Temporarily.”
“Wanna make it permanent?” Newt retorted, opening the gate to his house and fishing out his keys from the front pocket of his bag.
“Pretty sure that’s not possible.” Thomas said with knowing tone, pulling the other into one final embrace before they had to part for the day. “I love you.” He whispered, kissing both Newt’s cheeks and forehead before planting a soft peck on his lips.
“Don’t test me, Tommy.” Newt pouted, unsure what to do now that they’ve kissed thrice. A fourth time won’t hurt. He thought, feeling daring— probably the adrenaline rush from everything that’s happened today. “I love you too.” He replied, leaning in for another kiss before running up his front steps and quickly unlocking the front door before Thomas could say anything else.
Thomas, dumbfounded, fished out his phone right after, now en route to his own house.
[To Teresa: Dude, we’re dating.]
[To Minho: I’m dating your best friend. We’re good, right?]
[To Newt: I’m renaming you on my phone as Princess. That cool?]
Teresa and Minho replied quickly enough, but it didn’t seem as though Newt was paying much attention to his phone at the moment, probably still wondering what the hell (bloody hell, he thought, trying to imagine himself speaking with a British accent and failing miserably) happened.
[From Teresa: No we’re not.]
[From Teresa: Wait do you mean you and Newt because fuCKING FINALLY YOU DWEEBS.]
He couldn’t help but smile at his best friend’s reply, making a mental note to call her later instead of text her the details since it was far too long to even type up.
[From Minho: Finally.]
[From Minho: Now hook me up with yours.]
Minho’s reply had him laughing in the middle of his street. It was a good thing there wasn’t anyone around at that time of day, else they probably would’ve thought he’d gone mad. “Oh Minho…” He muttered, typing up his reply before shoving it in his pocket and jogging to his room.
[To Minho: Sure, why not.]
[To Minho: See you tomorrow, then. Let’s be a little late to lunch tomorrow, k?]
Call Teresa. Call Teresa. Then call Newt. He thought, making mental notes as he made his way to his room, a smile on his face. This was the best day of his life, and nothing could get to him now. He has Newt, he’d become great friends with his neighbour’s daughter and his boyfriend’s best friend and is now trying to hook them up. His phone rang as he plopped down on his bed, and he swore his face would tear if he smiled any wider.
[From Newt: Fine, but I’m changing yours to Asswipe.]
[From Newt: I’ll think of a worse one soon, just you wait.]
And he was fine with that.