Chapter Text
Kakashi makes it three days and three nights before he runs into Kurenai again. He wouldn’t necessarily say that he’d been avoiding her, but he had made it a point to flee if he sensed her chakra.
So maybe he was avoiding her.
But she couldn’t prove that. Anyway, it didn’t matter because it was only three days later and she was here.
Knocking on the door of his apartment. At 2am.
Yes, he was awake already. But she didn’t know that, and so it was incredibly rude.
He flung the door open, deciding already to try and lie about being sleepy so she’d go away.
He hadn’t counted on her having accomplices. Two men leapt at him the second his door burst open, pinning his arms carefully to his sides.
Kakashi trashed and struggled in their grasp, but they did not let him go. He decided to give in when he realized who they were. Asuma and Guy, of course. And Kurenai, who stood directly in front of him, hands on her hips and shit-eating grin splitting her face.
“It’s another day,” she announced, leaning close and speaking loudly, directly into his face.
He winces. “Usually you ask before deciding that,” he says, knowing he’s fighting a losing battle and that tonight he’s all hers.
She shrugs. “Usually.” She says nothing else, and simply stares at Kakashi. Her arms shift to cross in front of her chest, and she looks at him like she’s waiting for something.
He thinks for a second, deciding what she wants is for him to admit defeat. He wriggles experimentally, but his captors have a steady hold on his shoulders and waist. He makes eye contact with Asuma, silently pleading with his fellows to let him go, but Asuma just bites at his cigarette and smiles at him.
“Fine, fine,” he says, hoping that’s enough for her. “You win Kurenai. Where are we going?”
Her smile lights up her face, and he’s surprised to see it’s genuine. As in, she’s really happy. Not just gloating over her victory. It touches him unexpectedly, and he finds himself oddly displeased when Asuma and Guy stop touching him to let him go.
What the fuck is wrong with him? Is he so starved for human contact that even being restrained feels good?
Pathetic.
He steps away from them hurriedly, suddenly unsure of himself. They can probably sense how desperate he is for this, and hate him for it.
Kakashi fights to keep his expression neutral and unaffected as Kurenai leads their party down the streets of Konoha.
She’s telling them about this place she found. It’s a bar, which explains why it’s still open at 2 in the morning. It also serves food, even at this hour. It was perfect for night owls, or hermits who only go out at night.
He catches the thinly veiled insult. If he ignores it, refuses to speak to them, it would be very in character. It’s probably what Asuma and Guy expect him to do.
Whatever. What’s the harm?
He pulls one corner of his mouth up in a wry grin, even though his comrades can’t see it. “Maa, some of us are just busy during the day, Kurenai.” He tries to keep his tone light, like hers had been. He doesn’t want her to think he’s insulting her, which happens sometimes.
Sure enough, there’s a shocked moment of silence. It’s obvious that despite the teasing being aimed at him, they hadn’t expected him to actually participate in any banter.
But after the moment passes, they’re joking around with him like he’s their friend. Like he has been the whole time, and not like he’s a standoffish loner with zero people skills.
He has a good evening. They all seem delighted to have him with them, and he laughs harder than he can remember laughing in a very long time.
When they finish, when their time together is drawing to a close, he’s absolutely taken aback. They plan on walking him home, which is new. They… care about him enough to do that.
They reach his apartment and spend a few extra minutes, talking and generally enjoying one another. He finds himself not wanting to part, and hates that he feels that way. They’re getting under his skin. They’re getting past his carefully erected defenses.
His anxiety grows some, but he’s desperate enough that he can’t make them leave. He needs this, even if he can’t admit it.
Finally, Kurenai says something about needing to go to sleep. And it’s probably true, because it’s really late and normal jonin probably work normal hours. Kakashi’s going to pass out until he’s summoned, once again to kill and hide in the shadows of Konoha.
But what he’s not expecting is for Kurenai to reach for him. He’s so surprised he doesn’t have time to flee, and she catches him. She’s hugging him before he really processes what’s happening.
He stands in her arms, eyes wide in shock as she holds him for a moment. Her touch, friendly and caring, feels amazing. He can’t admit it, but being hugged by Kurenai feels good to Kakashi, who was admittedly fairly touch starved.
He lets her hold on to him for a long moment. She squeezes, lets him go with a knowing smile.
“We’re there for you if you want to do this again,” she tells him, still holding on to his shoulders. “You know that, right, Kakashi?”
He averts his gaze, doesn’t say or do anything. He can’t admit that, because…
To admit that he knows is to admit that he has a future. And he doesn’t. Kakashi Hatake is nothing but a tool, a weapon. He’s an ANBU captain. He’ll kill and bleed and eventually die for his village. Probably sooner rather than later. He doesn’t plan for his future because he doesn’t have one.
This is all he is, and all he’ll ever be.
Kurenai, oblivious, just smiles at him. Or… maybe she isn’t oblivious. There’s a knowing look in her eye, that makes Kakashi wish she’d just leave.
She sees him, and he doesn’t want her to.
“We’ll see you soon,” she promises.
When they leave him, alone on the steps of his crappy little apartment, he finds himself hoping. It’s a weird feeling, hope.
But he has it. Because he hopes they can do this again.
The next day, he breathes just a little easier. And if Kurenai, watching him from afar, sees that and smiles… well, Kakashi doesn’t have to know everything.