Chapter Text
On the night Hyunjin asked Seungmin out to dinner, he meant to take Seungmin out on a date, and as well as a gesture of gratitude for comforting him on one of those difficult days that he had. He absolutely hated to show anyone that side of him, especially not in front of Seungmin, but somehow being around him made Hyunjin feel safe and comfortable to show Seungmin that side of him. That side that he despised the most.
Hyunjin didn't usually talk about himself, but with Seungmin, Hyunjin found it rather easy to open up. His words flowed out of his mouth so effortlessly that sometimes he couldn’t believe what he was saying. Seungmin made it easy.
Often, Hyunjin felt like he was hiding behind an invisible mask, but with Seungmin, Hyunjin felt like himself. He felt like he didn't need his invisible mask to be around Seungmin.
Hyunjin liked being with Seungmin, and he was the only person Hyunjin wanted to be with.
When Seungmin told him that he couldn’t make it, it was a lie if Hyunjin didn’t feel disappointed by the unfortunate timing, but he understood. He had friends too, and he would absolutely prioritize them if he were Seungmin.
Hyunjin was returning to the dorm after having dinner with Minho and Jisung when he realized that his phone wasn’t in his pocket, frantically fumbling around his pants for it, but he found nothing. He might have accidentally left his phone in the car.
“I forgot my phone.” Hyunjin groaned, stopping his tracks in the middle of the hallway. He threw his head to the back, making a frustrated noise. Minho and Jisung halted their tracks and swiftly turned to him.
“Again? That’s three times in a row tonight. What are the odds?” Jisung casually commented. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I think I just need some sleep. Totally sleep deprived. Minho, key?”
Minho fished out his car key and threw it to Hyunjin. “Catch!” He chortled in amusement watching Hyunjin clumsily trying to catch it, to which the key ended up falling on the floor.
“Nice,” Hyunjin deadpanned and glared at his roommate. He bent down and picked it up. “Be right back.”
Hyunjin was about to enter the dorm building after retrieving his phone when there was a bright light beaming towards him, causing him to stop his step. He turned and promptly spared a glance at the car which just pulled up in front of the building. Raising his hand up mid-air to block the beaming headlight, between the narrow gap of his fingers, Hyunjin saw Seungmin getting off the car. He smiled and decided to wait for Seungmin.
It was a few moments later when he saw it: Seungmin kissed someone.
He felt a sharp stab in his heart. It ached. Terribly.
He promptly looked away and began to drag his heavy feet inside.
Hyunjin didn’t look back and just kept on walking.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
The notification sound of Hyunjin’s phone continuously fills the room. It bothers him, but right now, with earphones in his ears, eyes on the laptop screen, he ignores it. His eyes momentarily flicker to the phone that he purposely puts upside down to focus on his current task, hands itching to take the phone and check the text messages. He returns his attention to the screen when it finally quiets down.
Five minutes later, a few knocks are heard on the door.
Hyunjin stops typing at his laptop and turns to Minho, who’s looking at him with the same curious face as him. Minho gestures with his head, telling him to check whoever it is at the door. Hyunjin groans quietly, lazily rises from the chair, and strolls toward the door. When he opens the door, his body stiffens at the sight of a certain someone.
It’s Seungmin.
“Hey,” Seungmin greets with a blinding smile. Hyunjin’s heart skips a beat. “Are you busy? I texted you.”
“Oh, really? Sorry. I didn’t check my phone.” Hyunjin nervously scratches his neck. “Got caught in the assignment that Professor Lim gave us,” he explains. He’s been working on the assignment for a few days already and hasn't finished it.
“Oh. Do you need help with it?” Seungmin asks, concerned.
“No,” Hyunjin replies and internally winces at how quick his reply is. “I’m good. Just...I’ve been procrastinating it. By the way, what brings you here?”
Seungmin’s face quickly brightens, his smile stretching wider, brighter, and hopeful. “Want to go out for a quick dinner?”
Hyunjin’s breath hitches quietly. For the past weeks, he successfully manages to avoid Seungmin’s invitation to eat together (when it’s only the two of them, alone) through text messages, and sometimes he would spend his free time outside the dorm so that he doesn't run into him. But it's different today. Seungmin is asking him directly in front of him, and now he’s profoundly bewildered. Hyunjin swallows nervously, racking his brain to come up with something.
Anything that would make a plausible excuse.
“You guys are going for dinner?” Minho asks, breaking the strange tension that lingers between the two of them. He stays focused solely on his phone.
Hyunjin promptly turns his head toward his roommate, somehow feeling thankful that he interrupts them. “Want to tag along with us?” he quickly asks.
Minho looks up from his phone and blinks his eyes a few times, pondering about it. He eventually nods, agreed. “Sure. Jisung will join us too. We’ll pick him up at his workplace.”
Hyunjin heaves a quiet sigh of relief and turns to Seungmin with a small smile. “So, it’s a yes.”
“Cool. See you tonight,” Seungmin replies, sounding half-hearted. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and Hyunjin misses the way Seungmin’s bright eyes change to a pair of nearly dimmed eyes.
The drive to Jisung’s workplace is unusually quiet. Minho decides that he’s driving and makes both Seungmin and Hyunjin sit at the back together. Hyunjin argues at first saying he wants to sit at the front, but Minho argues back sternly saying that he’s saving the seat for his boyfriend. Hyunjin eventually admits defeat and goes to sit with Seungmin at the back. He throws his gaze out the window, absent-mindedly watching outside. Neither of them says anything throughout the ride.
They stop for a while to pick Jisung up.
“What’s this strange tension I’m feeling?” Jisung asks once he closes the door, shifting his gaze to each of them, from Minho to Hyunjin to Seungmin and finally back to Minho. He narrows his eyes at his boyfriend and gives him a ‘what’s going on’ look. Minho shrugs and turns his head to the front, casually driving off. Not fussing over it anymore, Jisung turns on the radio after that, blasting the car with loud music.
The newly-opened diner they settled in is filled and mostly packed with students like themselves. Jisung is the one who suggested the diner when they are trying to decide the place to have dinner, saying that it would be nice to try out the place. They all agree and eventually end up at the corner of the diner.
“The customer was super rude! He already drank a quarter of his juice and then he had the audacity to demand a new drink just because we didn’t put ice in his drink. I mean, he ordered cold-pressed juice, not an iced juice, so he should have expected that,” Jisung rambles while they're eating, throwing his hands in the air frustratingly.
Sitting next to Jisung, Seungmin laughs, amused, earning Hyunjin’s attention immediately. Seungmin is sitting right in front of him. His gaze unknowingly travels down to Seungmin’s lips and stays there for a good few seconds.
“What happened next?” Seungmin asks curiously, making Hyunjin’s heart pound, actually realizing what he is looking at. Immediately, he tears his gaze away and returns his attention back to Jisung.
“He kept on demanding a new drink, but of course we couldn’t just give him one. I mean, if he asked us to put some ice in it, we would do it gladly. But he didn’t. So, we told our manager and let her deal with him. Five minutes after that, he stormed out of the café without a new drink. I don’t know what my manager told him but serve him right,” Jisung finishes, having a smug smile on his face.
Hyunjin cackles, entertained by Jisung. “If you were to deal with the customer yourself, I bet you would snatch the drink from his hand, and pour it on top of his head. And then, make him a new drink.”
“Definitely something he would do,” Minho adds monotonously, sipping his drink while glancing at Jisung.
“I’m going to bet he would do much worse," Seungmin teases, wiggling his brows playfully.
"Hey! I'm still a decent guy, okay," Jisung whines and scowls after that, making the other three burst into a peal of hearty laughter.
Hyunjin quickly high fives Minho in triumph, and then naturally brings his hand to Seungmin, expecting him to return it. Hand up in the midair, he pauses and their eyes briefly meet. Hyunjin blinks and waits expectantly. Seungmin’s mouth curves upward, and then happily high fives him back before joining the conversation again.
Somehow in mid conversation, Hyunjin’s gaze is unwittingly redirected back to Seungmin, watching him silently and discreetly. At some points, his eyes are fixated at Seungmin’s lips. There’s something there that’s bothering him. Without a second thought, he mindlessly reaches out his hand and brushes his finger lightly at the corner of Seungmin’s mouth. It takes him a full five seconds to realize what he just did. Eyes widen in surprise, Hyunjin gasps softly and frantically retracts his hand, fumbling for his words to explain before he stops and takes a breath, calming himself.
“There were crumbs sticking there,” Hyunjin says slowly without stuttering in between, and then he shows a nervous smile.
Seungmin breaks into a fond smile, seeming almost pleased. His cheeks are tainted with a light shade of crimson. “Thanks for removing it.”
Freaking muscle memory, Hyunjin curses in his head, wanting to slam his hand with a hammer for the automatic action he just does.
Minho turns to him and gives him a weird look, tilting his head slightly with a hint of confusion. Hyunjin ignores him and continues eating his food.
It’s a few minutes after Hyunjin finishes eating his food, eyes staring at the empty plate on the table while absent-mindedly poking the uneaten onion slices with a utensil. There’s nothing particular in his mind at the moment. Mindlessly, he reaches for his glass of lemonade and nearly drinks it when a hand stops him, grabbing his forearm. It makes him look up promptly and meets the owner of the hand’s eyes confusedly.
“You can’t drink my latte. It’s almost a whole milk, if you haven’t noticed,” Seungmin tells him with a small smile.
Hyunjin takes a look at the glass he’s holding, and his eyes widen comically realizing that it’s indeed Seungmin’s latte, not his lemonade. Embarrassed, he quickly puts it down near Seungmin and picks up his lemonade, drinking it immediately to quench his thirst. Thanks to Seungmin's quick act, he doesn't have to suffer from a stomach ache later.
“You okay?” Seungmin asks, his voice coated with worry. His hand reaches for Hyunjin’s hand. The warm touch startles Hyunjin. His shoulders tense up. He shifts his gaze to their hands and stares blankly at them for some time. The urge to flip his hand and holds Seungmin’s warm hand is skyrocketing in his chest.
I want to hold that hand, his brain screams.
“Hyunjin?” Seungmin’s soft, worried voice pulls Hyunjin out of his trance, making his eyes flicker up and meet Seungmin’s concerned eyes.
“Oh, yeah. I’m okay. Just a little tired, and...distracted, I guess,” Hyunjin replies, gradually pulling his hand out of Seungmin’s loose grip. He takes a notice of Seungmin’s change of expression and decides to stand, confusing his other two friends.
"I'm going to the toilet," Hyunjin tells them and spares a glance at Seungmin before turning away.
“Jin, wait!” Jisung yells when Hyunjin is about to exit the diner. Immediately, he stops his tracks, turns toward Jisung, and watches him talking to the cashier at the register. Jisung has offered to pay for the dinner, to their delight, and there’s absolutely no complaint at all. Minho and Seungmin already head outside. Bowing politely at the cashier, Jisung strolls over and drapes an arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders, dragging him as he begins to walk.
Neither of them says anything as they stroll along the pavement and make their way to the parking lot.
“Hyunjin,” Jisung says in a firm yet gentle voice. Every time he calls Hyunjin with his full name instead of his usual nickname, especially in the specific tone, it never fails to give him a shudder. Hyunjin glances warily at his best friend, anxiously anticipating his next words.
“You know you can always tell Minho and I things, right? Whatever you’re dealing with.”
Hyunjin laughs nervously, scratching his neck. “What are you talking about? I’m fine.”
Jisung scoffs in disbelief. “Yeah, right. You don’t have to lie to me. I know you. Inside out. Minho too. There’s something going on between you and Seungmin. Something is definitely off about you. And for your information, we noticed. We’re not blind, Jin.”
Hyunjin falls silent, his mouth is zipped tight, his eyes are wandering everywhere else but Jisung. He doesn’t know how and what exactly to respond.
Voice laced with obvious worry, Jisung continues, “We’re not going to intervene in your problem. Both of you are already adults, and you’re legit six months older than Seungmin and I, technically. It’s just...Seungmin is worried about you. I’m worried about you, and so is Minho, despite him saying he doesn’t care about you sometimes. We just want you to be okay, Jin.”
Jisung’s words stick in Hyunjin’s mind for the rest of the week.
“Where are you going?” Hyunjin asks with a questioning look on his face as he emerges from the bathroom. His eyes follow Minho who’s moving frantically around the room. He notices that the older guy is actually more dressed up than usual, wearing a leather jacket and a plain white tee with tight black jeans. “And why are you rushing?”
“Sungie and I are going out,” Minho answers quickly, grabbing some clothes and shoving them into his backpack. “It’s our second anniversary, so we’re spending the night out, and I’m late.”
Hyunjin nods understandingly, flopping himself down on the mattress. “That explains it,” he says. He doesn’t question how the hell the couple has time for it when finals are two weeks away. Usually, the last two weeks are the busiest and craziest weeks of all. “Anyway, have fun. Try to not break anything.” He bursts into high-pitched laughter when Minho shoots a dagger at him through his death glare. “How long will you two be away?”
“We’ll be back by Sunday,” Minho replies in response, slinging the backpack to his shoulder. “So try not to trash the room.”
Hyunjin lets out an incredulous laugh. “Excuse me? Me? Trashing our room? That’s you.”
Minho shrugs nonchalantly, reaching for the doorknob. “Just saying. I feel like you would. Oh, right,” he pauses, another hand on the hip as he turns slightly toward Hyunjin. He licks his lips, contemplating for a second. “For the love of God, please fix whatever things you have with Seungmin. It’s suffocating to watch you like that.”
Hyunjin freezes at his spot, trying hard not to look like he’s completely shocked. He swallows. “Like what?” His voice is low.
“Like someone who lost the love of their life.” Minho sighs. “See you on Sunday, Jin.”
With that, the door closes and leaves Hyunjin never feeling so alone in the room.
Hyunjin is doing his assignment while slowly bobbing his head to the blasting music when he hears knocking on the door. Lazily rising from the chair and shuffling over to the door, he opens it to see a figure he expects the least. His breath hitches and his body freezes upon laying his eyes on the smiling Seungmin standing in front of him with a pillow in his arms.
“Hi. Can I come in?”
Hyunjin blinks a few times and eventually, he nods, letting Seungmin in. “What brings you here with a pillow?” he asks, closing the door and then turning to see Seungmin already settling himself comfortably on his bed. He chews a lip, feeling a surge of nervousness rising in the pit of his stomach.
“Let’s watch movies!” Seungmin suggests excitedly, eyes sparkling brightly in anticipation with a radiant smile gracing his face.
"I have assignments to do," Hyunjin replies immediately, pointing to the bunch of papers scattered on his desk and a few opened documents on the screen of his laptop.
"And it's not due until Monday." Seungmin giggles. The sound echoes throughout the room. "Come on, it's Friday night. Let’s watch something before we get sucked into the crazy weeks again."
Hyunjin wants to say no, wants to say he can't, wants to say that he really has a lot of assignments to complete though that’s technically half true, but the moment his eyes lay on the pouty lips Seungmin's giving him, he finds himself reaching for the laptop, to which turning the pouty lips of Seungmin into the dazzling grin Hyunjin misses.
It’s that moment he realizes that he misses Seungmin so much and it hurts.
Walking up to the bed, he sinks next to Seungmin on the mattress, who is already having his back leaning against the wall, stretching his long legs forward while comfortably hugging the pillow he brings over. Hyunjin tries to keep a distance, but Seungmin inches closer to him anyway. Hyunjin doesn’t make an effort to move anymore.
“What do you want to watch?” Hyunjin asks as he browses through Netflix.
“Just put on anything. Not horror though. Because you can’t handle it and I'm going to jump in shock every time you get startled."
Hyunjin turns his head to him, frowning a little. "Hey, it’s not that bad," he replies defensively.
A laugh escapes Seungmin's mouth, he's amused, again the sound echoes in the room. Hyunjin misses his laugh terribly. "It is bad. Remember when you clung to me the whole time we watched Insidious Chapter 3? It wasn't really that scary yet my heart jumped because of you."
"It was scary okay. You just could handle it better than me."
Seungmin laughs again, his pair of eyes crinkling into crescent moons. Hyunjin misses his pretty crinkled eyes too. "Okay choose a not-horror movie. A romantic comedy perhaps? Or just a romantic one. Since we're pretty much swamped with hectic schedules and loads of assignments, so it'll be great to de-stress."
"What if we just rewatch the Teen Wolf series?" Hyunjin suggests eventually after briefly browsing through the options. He couldn’t exactly find anything that interests him.
"Oh!” Seungmin exclaims, smiling brightly. “That’s a great idea. Which season?"
As the episode of Teen Wolf starts playing, they gradually become quiet and have their focus on the screen while making occasional comments in between. Hyunjin is a little too immersed in the show that he’s oblivious to the weight that’s leaning against his body, and eventually, the weight ends up on his laps, or he simply just doesn't realize it because it's a normal occurrence for them. He’s just that comfortable with Seungmin. He only realizes that Seungmin, who is now laying his head comfortably on Hyunjin's laps, is playing with his fingers while watching the show when the brunet speaks out,
"Hyunjin, what's your ideal date?" Seungmin doesn't shift. His gaze remains focused on the screen.
The sudden question makes Hyunjin's heart skip a beat, not expecting such questions, but it’s kind of logical for Seungmin to ask such questions because in the show they’re watching, the characters are currently having their first date. Hyunjin clears his throat before speaking, not wanting his nervousness to show so much.
"I've always liked stargazing, so it will be nice to watch the twinkling stars in the night sky under the moonlight with someone," Hyunjin tells him dreamily. It's one of his wishes to bring his future partner to stargaze sometimes in the future.
"Sappy," Seungmin comments. "But I like sappy."
"What about you?" It's Hyunjin's turn to ask. "What is your ideal date?"
Seungmin smiles softly. "This."
Hyunjin's heart jumps. It starts to beat erratically.
"I mean,” Seungmin adds, “...something like this. It doesn't have to be extravagant. Just a simple and warm cuddle would be a really nice date."
“Not in summer though. It’d be hot as hell,” Hyunjin jokes.
Seungmin bursts into soft laughter. “Yeah, it would."
Hyunjin doesn't say anything after that. Instead, he shifts his gaze back on the screen, mind wandering elsewhere while thinking about what Seungmin just said. Silence falls upon them as they continue to watch the movie.
"Hyunjin, do you mind if I sleep here tonight? Jisung is out, and it's awfully silent, and I don't want to sleep alone," Seungmin whines as he adjusts his position, switching his gaze from the screen to Hyunjin now, lying on his back. "Since Minho's bed is off-limits, I can sleep on the floor, so you don't need to give up your bed."
Hyunjin blinks rapidly. A surge of panic rises in his stomach. He doesn’t think, he just blurts it out, "If it's too silent, then you can put on music in the background?"
"My phone is charging."
"Your lap—"
Seungmin immediately shifts his weight and pushes himself to sit, having his back facing Hyunjin. Hyunjin thinks it’s crazy how he already misses the warmth that lies on his laps. “Do you not want me here?” Seungmin’s voice is wavered and hurt.
Hyunjin’s eyes widen, shocked. “What? No! I want you here, of course!” His body stiffens, tensing up.
Seungmin swiftly turns his body to face Hyunjin, glancing up at him with a pained expression. His dark brown irises are gloomy, disheartened. “Then what, Hyunjin? Tell me what it is so I can fix it.”
Hyunjin flinches at Seungmin's outburst. Never once has he seen Seungmin getting mad. Not even when he's frustrated over something he's supposed to be mad for. Hyunjin nervously swallows the lump forming in his throat, racking up his brain to come up with something that can convince Seungmin that he wants him there with him. He might have wanted to push him away an hour and a half ago, but not right now.
Hyunjin absolutely wants Seungmin there with him.
I can’t handle being in the same room as you because all I want to do is to hold your hands, to run my fingers through your silky hair, to feel your smooth skin under my fingertips, to engulf you in my arms, and to kiss the life out of you, Hyunjin wants to say. His eyes are staring at Seungmin longingly, he desperately wants to confess everything he feels about Seungmin, but he couldn’t find the courage to do so.
Not when he thinks Seungmin likes someone else.
Seungmin’s eyes grow wide and bright.
Bright like the twinkling stars in the night sky.
Bright like the spotlight in the center of the theatre stage.
Bright like the afternoon sun.
Bright like the center of the universe.
His lips slightly part. He almost doesn’t blink at all. “What…?”
Hyunjin is completely confused with Seungmin’s expression. He doesn’t say anything yet, so why is Seungmin reacting? “What?” His brows knit together, frowning in confusion. Seungmin is still gazing at him with the same bright, wide eyes.
It’s right at that moment the realization hits him, hard and strong.
There's no turning back.
Hyunjin gasps, loud and clear, before quickly covering his mouth on instinct, his eyes bulging out of their pockets, totally in shock. “...did I say that out loud?” His voice is muffled behind his hands, slightly croaky, coated with embarrassment.
Seungmin gives him a slow nod.
Well, shoot.
Hyunjin can feel a rush of heat creeping up his face, his heart racing fast enough that he can hear it beating in his eardrums. He can’t believe he lets those longing words that he keeps in the deepest part of his heart slip out through his lips just like that. Now, he really wants to bury himself seven feet under the ground and never come out to the surface ever again.
“Hyunjin, do you like me?” Seungmin’s voice sounds soft and careful. There’s a tinge of hope in his voice if Hyunjin hears it correctly, but he can’t be sure. He doesn’t dare to hope.
Hyunjin gulps. The answer is obvious, and Seungmin isn't an idiot. He wants to hear Hyunjin say it directly with his own mouth, but Hyunjin doesn't know if he can answer it. He can choose to be silent and not give Seungmin what he wants him to say, but Hyunjin's harboring feelings for Seungmin won't allow him to do that. Even if his heart is going to break, he chooses to say the truth.
Hyunjin breathes in. “Yeah, I like you so much that it's suffocating me.”
Great. Now, Seungmin knows and he's going to—
“Good. I like you too,” Seungmin confesses, immediately and almost nonchalantly. The corners of his lips pull into a blinding smile then, a bright shade of crimson red dusting all over his ears and cheeks. His eyes remain as bright as the sun.
Hyunjin blinks his eyes a few times, trying to register what Seungmin has just said. I like you too. Seungmin’s voice repeats in his ears like a broken record. “What?”
Seungmin’s soft giggles echo in the room, once again.
Hyunjin would never get tired hearing that soft angelic giggles.
Before Hyunjin can fully register everything, Seungmin lunges forward toward him and the next thing he knows, a pair of warm hands resting gently on his cheeks and Seungmin’s face is really close to his own. He hears a faint whisper of “I like you too, Hyunjin”, warm breath tickling his face before his chin tilts up and something soft is pressed against his lips.
Seungmin is kissing him.
It finally registers to him that Seungmin actually likes him back. When Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s lips gently move against his, he instinctively closes his eyes and kisses him back, fingers finding Seungmin's shirt and lightly grabbing on the fabric. Seungmin’s hands slowly slide down to his neck, clutching to his hair slightly as he deepens the kiss. The skin where Seungmin touches, burns, and so are his lips.
Hyunjin sighs into the heat, into the hands, melting under the fire in his chest that pops and blazes. Seungmin tastes like mint, and smells like fresh cotton. Hyunjin is the first one to pull away after feeling like an eternity, catching his breath. Both of them are in a daze and dizzy, their faces are flushed red.
“Is this real?” Hyunjin asks dreamily in a heavy breathy voice.
Seungmin laughs, breathlessly. “Yes, this is real.”
Hyunjin laughs, too, because Seungmin's laugh is contagious and his heart is full. When he notices that Seungmin is sitting in an awkward and uncomfortable position, Hyunjin reaches his hands to Seungmin’s hips and then gingerly pulls him to crawl up between his stretched out legs, settling his weight on his thighs. He feels a grip tightening on his shoulders as Seungmin tries to make himself comfortable. Their faces are so close that their warm breaths fanning each other’s faces, though Seungmin’s is slightly higher.
“You okay?” Seungmin asks, delicately brushing away the hair that falls in Hyunjin's eyes. He rests his hand lightly on Hyunjin’s cheek and the other around his neck.
Hyunjin leans to the touch and grins. “Yeah, you’re as light as a feather.”
Before Seungmin can speak another word to counter him, Hyunjin surges up and closes the space between them, capturing Seungmin’s soft lips in his warm one.
The movie is long forgotten because their focus now is only on each other.
“Mini,” Hyunjin says as he delicately threads his fingers through Seungmin’s silky hair, feeling the soft strands against his fingertips. After their not-so-little kissing, Seungmin puts the laptop away and pulls Hyunjin to lay down on the bed, letting himself be wrapped in Hyunjin’s warmth. It is a single bed, yet strangely it fits for the two of them. Seungmin rests his head on Hyunjin’s chest and drapes his arm over him. Seungmin’s fluffy hair tickles his neck, and he likes the feeling of it.
It’s cosy and nice. Hyunjin thinks he can get used to this.
“Mini?” Seungmin cranes his neck up and meets Hyunjin’s eyes. His gaze is soft and curious, and Hyunjin’s heart melts.
“Can I call you Mini?” Hyunjin asks, blinking his eyes cutely. “It’s cute, and it fits you.”
“Um.” Seungmin turns quiet, taking his time to think about it. His brows move around slightly and his lips are pursed adorably. A sweet smile graces his face, and he replies, “Only if I get to call you Hyunie.”
Hyunjin grins immediately, eyes gleaming. “That’s a really cute nickname. I like it. Anyway, I really need to do my assignments right now.”
“Then, let me go,” Seungmin teases. He giggles softly and nuzzles his face into Hyunjin’s chest.
Hyunjin tightens his grip around Seungmin’s body and places a brief kiss on the top of his head. “But you’re so warm, so comfy. I refuse to let you go.”
Neither of them says anything after that, letting the comfortable silence take over. A few moments later, Hyunjin feels Seungmin shifting around, seemingly like he’s uncomfortable, or something.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hyunjin asks, concerned.
There’s a silence before Seungmin speaks, “Can I ask you about something?” His voice is hesitant.
“Sure…," Hyunjin answers, unsure. He has a hunch about what Seungmin is about to ask him. “What is it?”
Using a hand to push himself to sit, Seungmin turns to face Hyunjin. The latter follows suit, concerned is written all over his face. The brunet takes a deep breath and exhales. His eyes are wary and seem conflicted.
“Why,” Seungmin pauses, “Why did you avoid me after the term break? Don’t deny it because I know you were avoiding me.”
Upon hearing it, Hyunjin's body stiffens, his heart rate rises. A lump quickly builds up in his throat. Despite knowing that Seungmin would ask him that question on any day, he’s never ready for it. He feels like his heart just detaches and drops to the ground the moment his brain registers it. The reality is more nerve-wracking and unnerving than the possible scenarios that he has played over and over again in his head.
Tongue-tied, Hyunjin doesn’t say anything and lets Seungmin finish talking.
“It hurt me, a little, every time you turned me down whenever I asked you out to lunch or to a quick dinner, though at first I totally understood that you might be busy. We all were. You agreed only when Jisung or Minho or Felix joined us. That was when I realized that you didn’t want to be alone with me. I was planning on asking you out when we’re done with final exams, but when you started to avoid me, I was...confused,” Seungmin pauses, breathing shakily. He lowers his head and stares down at the mattress, fingers anxiously fiddling with the blanket.
“You flirted with me for the whole six weeks and suddenly you just stopped altogether. I was thinking, maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe you were just being nice to me all along, and I made a mistake reading it in the other way, but that's fine. That's on me. But it started to hurt more when we didn’t talk to each other as much as we used to. Even if you don't like me that way, I just wanted us to be friends.”
Hyunjin’s heart breaks, feeling as if being sliced by a blunt piece of shattered glass over and over again. What makes him feel the worst is that he was the one who hurt Seungmin. Nobody else but him. And that fact hits him hard. His throat is burning, feeling extremely guilty.
“I'm sorry that I hurt you so much, Seungmin," Hyunjin says, voice almost breaking. He hesitantly reaches his hand out, attempting to hold Seungmin’s hand, and when the brunet doesn’t move his hand away, he gently places his hand on Seungmin’s and gives a light squeeze. He holds his hand for some time before finding his voice again. “I was convinced that you liked someone else. That night when your friends came to visit, I saw you kissed one of them, so I thought—"
Seungmin swiftly looks up, eyes grow wide, completely stunned. He cuts him off instantly, “You thought...you thought I liked my friend?”
Hyunjin gives a slow, shallow nod.
Silence. Seungmin's surprise expression fades and is replaced with a serious one. "Idiot. You're an idiot," he deadpans, staring at him dead in the eyes. "I flirted with you back if you didn’t notice, and my best friends are already dating each other."
Hyunjin furrows his brows, confused. Hesitantly, he asks, "Then, the kiss—"
"Hyunjin, it was forehead and cheek kisses,” Seungmin cuts him off again, heaving a sigh, “Not to mention, the cheek kiss was completely forced."
The realization hits him and leaves Hyunjin with an open mouth as his stare hangs in the air. It's not what he thinks he's seen. "Oh."
Seungmin gazes at him with an unreadable expression, tilting his head slightly. His hands are placed on the hips. "What do you mean by 'oh' ?"
Hyunjin presses his lips into a line and hurriedly averts his gaze, feeling a big wave of shame washing over him. His face might be burning at the moment.
"Hyunjin." Seungmin's voice is calm, despite his slightly stern tone.
"Well…," Hyunjin begins, warily looking at Seungmin who's boring a hole through his sharp gaze. "It was dark and hazy, and the car headlights were beaming toward me. I might not see it properly…"
It takes a moment for Seungmin to register what Hyunjin says. His eyes widen when his brain finally connects the dots. A disbelief gasp escapes his mouth. "And you thought I kissed my friend on the lips. Oh, my God. Ew, gross.” He scrunches his face sourly, completely disgusted at the thought of it. Letting out a defeated sigh, he shakes his head at Hyunjin. “You're really an idiot."
"But you like this idiot," Hyunjin replies quickly, displaying a nervous grin.
"Oh, shut up, Hyunjin," Seungmin grumbles, rolling his eyes.
"Look.” Hyunjin takes Seungmin’s both hands in his own, holding them dearly. “I'm really sorry. What I did was terrible. It can't be excused. I was...a coward. Even if you like someone else, I shouldn't have avoided you. Just that,” he pauses, “...this is going to sound like a complete excuse. That night, I wasn't really myself. So when I saw it, naturally my brain just...put an instant barrier, and I ended up not dealing with it at all. It's messed up, I know," his voice trails off by the end of the sentence. He gives an apologetic smile and lowers his head.
"Hyun—"
Oblivious to Seungmin's calling, Hyunjin continues to ramble, “I absolutely understand if you can’t forgive me, but I’m really really sorry, and I regret every bit of it. I—”
“Hyunjin!” Seungmin calls out his name a little louder, stopping him at once. When Hyunjin finally raises his head and looks at him in the eyes, Seungmin smiles. “Promise me something and I'll forgive you.”
Hyunjin's eyes grow wide. He eagerly nods. “Anything for you.”
“If something like this ever comes up while we’re dating—”
“You still want to date me?” Hyunjin asks in a tiny voice, lips forming a pout. His eyes are glistening, feeling touched, and emotional.
Seungmin glares sharply at him and Hyunjin zips his mouth immediately, cowering in defeat. “If something like this ever comes up again, promise me that you will talk to me. Because even silly small things can turn into huge misunderstandings if you don’t. If anything, communicate with me instead of pushing me away.”
Raising his hand on the shoulder level, Hyunjin smiles confidently. “I promise. And Kim Seungmin?”
Seungmin’s brows arch upward in response, anticipating Hyunjin’s next words.
“Will you go out with me?”
Seungmin stares at him with a blank face for a good minute, making Hyunjin’s stomach flip nervously. There’s a long torturing quiet filling the air before a bright, fond grin makes its way to Seungmin's adorable face. “Yes, of course, Hwang Hyunjin. Wouldn’t want to miss that.”
To: Hyunie
Hyunjin
No
Hyunie
It'll take me a while to get used to that
Are you sleeping?
It's one o'clock in the morning and Seungmin can't sleep. He wishes he's already in the world of dreams. Having a fixed sleeping schedule is almost impossible in college, though it could work if one is dedicated enough. But Seungmin, he really tries.
Seungmin has an early morning class. It's 1am and he's in trouble.
He stares at the dim screen of his phone, somehow waiting to see if Hyunjin's asleep yet. After a full minute of no reply, he decides to put it aside and tries to get some sleep (again). A few soft dings greet his ears a moment later. He picks up the phone to see replies from Hyunjin, lips automatically pulling into a soft smile.
Hyunie
Not yet
Why aren't you?
Can't sleep?
Seungmin
Yeah
Hyunie
Were you thinking of me that you can’t sleep?
Seungmin rolls his eyes, quickly typing back a reply.
Seungmin
Keep dreaming
Hyunie
Hehe just teasing you :P
Is it because of the musical play tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure you'll do great
Seungmin
Maybe?
I just feel restless, I guess
My eyes won't shut
Hyunie
Fancy a late-night drive?
Seungmin
Just a late-night drive?
Hyunie
…
Seungmin stifles a laugh. He almost can feel Hyunjin is staring at him with a pair of narrowed eyes, judging him. Three small dots appear on the screen, indicating Hyunjin is typing again.
Hyunie
Would you care to join me on a wondrous midnight romantic adventure, Prince Kim Seungmin? I mayhaps could shower you with royal kisses while we’re at it.
Seungmin
LOL classic
I'd love to
Hyunie
See you in five minutes?
Seungmin doesn’t reply, but he climbs out of the bed instead, careful with his movement so that he doesn’t make noises that could possibly wake Jisung up. His roommate has just barely slipped into his bed five minutes before Seungmin texts Hyunjin. Though he knows Jisung is a heavy sleeper and could fall asleep the moment he crashes his head on the pillow, Seungmin still doesn’t want to take his chance. He shuffles over to his wardrobe, grabs a hoodie, and slips it over his white tee, deciding to change his loose sweatpants into jeans after that.
It’s exactly five minutes later Seungmin steps out of the room and finds Hyunjin is already waiting in the hallway. The first thing he notices is how quickly Hyunjin’s expression morphs from his usual neutral face to the brightest expression the moment their eyes lock. His messy raven hair, his blinding smile, and crinkled eyes struck him for the first five seconds.
The second thing he notices is their matching outfits. Exactly the same: a grey hoodie with black jeans.
Seungmin has to take a double look, literally, to make sure he’s seeing it right.
“Oh!” Hyunjin exclaims. His eyes slightly widen, lips part in surprise when his eyes travel down to his clothes, pointing a finger to Seungmin and back to him. His mouth pulls into a knowing smirk. “Soulmate things.”
Seungmin stifles a laugh, not wanting to disturb his dorm neighbors. He nods, agreeing with Hyunjin. “Soulmate things,” he repeats happily.
"Mm-hmm." Hyunjin clears his throat, putting a hand behind his back and another is pressed at his front, bowing slightly and keeping his eyes down at the floor. "It's a pleasure to have you, His Royal Highness, Prince of Seoul, Kim Seungmin, for our wondrous midnight romantic adventure. I, Hwang Hyunjin, the Royal Guard of SKZ College, would be honored to escort you."
Seungmin giggles softly, amused at the whole act, totally entertained.
Hyunjin politely holds out a palm, eyes still remain at the floor. "Would it be rude for me to have your hand, my dear prince?"
"Not at all." Seungmin reaches out his hand and places it on Hyunjin's palm, squeezing it lightly. Hyunjin looks up and meets Seungmin's eyes with his fond smile, intertwining their fingers.
"You're so good at this," Seungmin points out, his smile not leaving his face. "You should probably try for our musical play next semester. I could propose a royal kingdom theme."
"Only if you're the prince I'm going to fall in love with." Hyunjin winks, smiling cheekily.
Seungmin rolls his eyes in irritation before snickering. "You're such a flirt."
"Yeah, only with you though." Hyunjin winks again.
"Oh well, my dearest, I'll go crazy if you flirt with other people," Seungmin warns, pointing a finger to Hyunjin with an angry face, to which the latter finds extremely endearing. His heart melts at the sight.
"Cute. You're like a baby tiger," Hyunjin casually coos and brings his free hand up. "Rawr!" he roars cutely in a soft voice while imitating the way a baby tiger would claw. He giggles softly, absolutely pleased, when Seungmin's face morphs into a scowl, sulking.
Ten minutes later they hit the road. Hyunjin offers to drive, saying something like “You’re my prince, and I’m your royal guard, so it makes sense that if I’m the one driving.”
Seungmin has to laugh at how Hyunjin is still immersed in the whole royal thing. He can’t say he’s not loving it. In fact, he’s loving it a little too much. That’s how he ends up at the passenger seat with their hands intertwined together.
The road is fairly quiet. There are two or three vehicles passing them every once a while. Neither of them talk. The car is only filled with the soft sound of slow music that's playing on the radio. Seungmin stares out the window, watching the moving scenery. He rolls down the window, letting the night breeze hits his face.
It’s cold, and it sends a shudder to his spine, but it's nice.
Seungmin’s eyes naturally travel up to the night sky. The full moon is bright. The stars are blinking. He’s quietly admiring the stunning view when a thought comes to his mind. With a swift turn to Hyunjin, he wears a dazzling smile.
“Let’s go on a date! Your ideal date.”
Seungmin doesn’t miss the way Hyunjin’s face lights up in joy.
As expected, the field is empty. There’s no else, but two of them there. It’s the same field where the Light Fest is held, the one that they come to their group assignment. Watching how only the moon and stars are decorating the sky, Seungmin suddenly misses the festival. He wishes to visit the festival again with Hyunjin the next time it happens.
“Do you perhaps have a mat in your car?” Hyunjin’s voice snaps Seungmin out of his trance. He turns to his back to see Hyunjin looking at him expectantly with raised brows. Seungmin doesn’t know how a mat magically ends up in his car boot. He doesn’t remember putting it in there, or owning a mat for that matter.
But either way, now they have a mat and they can lie down on it comfortably while watching the twinkling stars in the night sky under the moonlight.
Seungmin is the first one to get down and lie on his back, and then followed by Hyunjin, except that he trips and falls on top of Seungmin. He thankfully doesn’t crush the human being under him, who groans in pain at first but somehow ends up giggling in amusement.
"You're so clumsy," Seungmin comments, still giggling softly. He doesn't make an effort to push Hyunjin away from him, but instead, he stares lovingly into his eyes. Smiling softly, he reaches his hand up and tucks the hair strands that fall into Hyunjin's eyes behind his ear. “You’re so breathtaking," he says, admiring the one and only beauty in front of him.
Cheeks beginning to dust with a light pink blush, a sheepish smile graces Hyunjin’s face. Seungmin places his palm on Hyunjin’s cheek. It’s warmer than usual.
“Aw. I think you’re blushing. Wish it isn’t that dark here so that I can see the pretty crimson red across your cheeks,” Seungmin coos, smiling teasingly.
Hyunjin hurriedly averts his gaze and shyly giggles. “Shut up." He pushes himself to get up, but Seungmin holds his hand, preventing him from doing so and then earning a confused look from the guy.
Seungmin's eyes flicker down to Hyunjin's inviting lips. Despite being in the dark and only illuminated by the moon, his lips never stop looking so plump and full. His heart is beating loudly in the ribcage. The desire to feel it against his own lips increases every second. He badly wants them, right now.
"Kiss me. I want my royal kisses now," Seungmin whispers, urging him.
Hyunjin's mouth quirks upward on one side immediately. He gently slides a hand to the back of Seungmin's nape while he uses another to support his weight. He leans down, bringing their faces so close, warm breath fanning against each other's skin. "My pleasure," Hyunjin whispers, closing the space between them and pressing their lips together.
Seungmin and Hyunjin splay out on the mat side by side, legs tangled together despite their bodies aren’t touching. Their gazes are fixed on the starry sky, quietly enjoying the view above them. The crickets are chirping somewhere in the bushes behind them.
“The view is mesmerizing, isn’t it?” Hyunjin asks, breaking the comfortable silence they have for a while now.
Seungmin smiles, cheekily. There's something in his mind and he needs to say it quickly. “It is, but I personally think you’re way more mesmerizing, dazzling, and gorgeous in my eyes.”
Hyunjin's mouth gapes open, his eyes widen, amazed. He puts his hand on his chest, feeling his rising heartbeat. Seungmin just does that to him. “Wow. That’s really smooth. I applaud you for that.”
Seungmin grins happily, proud of himself. “By the way, how did watching the stars become your ideal date?” he asks, genuinely curious.
“I liked astronomy a lot as a kid. I read a lot of books about it. Every night I would watch the sky at least for half an hour before I went to sleep. I was that obsessed, and I didn’t know how my parents dealt with me back then because I talked about the planet and stars all the time.”
Hyunjin laughs gleefully at the memory.
“It died down not long after that. And somehow when I was fifteen, I discovered a bunch of photos of a full moon, the night sky, and the stars that I took when I was a kid. The photos were mediocre since I used a film camera. After that, I started to take a photo of the stars for fun. It was then I developed my interest in photography. So, I made a promise to myself that I would bring the special someone to watch the stars so that they know I appreciate them as much as I appreciate the stars.”
Seungmin’s mouth couldn't help but break into a wide smile. “You’re unbelievably sappy.”
“But you like sappy,” Hyunjin counters quickly.
“Yeah, I do like sappy, and most importantly, I like you more,” Seungmin replies casually, smiling in satisfaction when Hyunjin sheepishly smacks his arm. Seungmin frowns after that, a flash of memory floods his mind. “Can you believe the reason I was into photography because I thought the photos I took were pretty?”
Hyunjin erupts into laughter, completely amused. “Really?”
“No kidding.”
Hyunjin shifts his weight to face Seungmin, who's completely engrossed in watching the mesmerizing starry sky. Their surroundings are dark, but the light illuminated from the full moon allows Hyunjin to admire the most beautiful human being before his eyes. He adoringly studies Seungmin's sharp features, eyes slowly tracing his long, pretty eyelashes, the sparkly glistening pair of dark brown irises, the pretty shape of his nose, and the inviting curve of his pink lips.
Hyunjin really wants to jump on the brunet and kiss that soft lips right now, but his wandering mind suggests otherwise. There's a question that's been bugging his mind as of lately. It's more like it returns to the surface after he shoves it down deep to the back of his mind.
"Mini," Hyunjin calls, and Seungmin hums in response. "Can I ask you something?" he asks and reaches a finger out to poke Seungmin's dumpling cheek. It barely grazes his cheek when Seungmin shifts his position and lies on his side facing Hyunjin. He rests his head on one arm. Their eyes are locked, staring into each other's souls for some time that feels like an eternity.
"Sure. Ask away," Seungmin replies and waits.
Hyunjin licks his lips. A little nervous. "Okay. Why….Why did you move college? Usually, people who move college would start anew. You know, when they don't find the major they're taking suits them, they start over. But it's different for you. You're literally moving colleges without changing the major."
Seungmin is silent for the next few minutes, and Hyunjin does nothing else but wait.
"Remember when I told you I used to live in the city?" he begins, and Hyunjin rapidly nods. "I liked living there. I loved where I lived, and I wanted to live there for the rest of my life, but things happened," Seungmin pauses, seeming to take a breath.
Hyunjin reaches out his hand, tenderly threads under Seungmin's palm, and then gently intertwines their fingers. He squeezes it lightly, trying to comfort him, telling him that he’s there.
"Two years ago, I lost someone I loved. Things became different. I could no longer see things there the same way I did before anymore. Everything just hurt, so that was why I decided to move. I was fortunate that my previous college was willing to make an arrangement for me. So, here I am."
A sad smile appears on Seungmin's face, along with a pair of glistening eyes. He tries not to shed tears.
"Who was it that you lost?" Hyunjin carefully asks. He tenderly kisses the top of Seungmin's hand, letting it linger before he pulls away.
"My older brother. He was six years older than us."
"What about your family? Are they still living there?" Hyunjin asks, gently caressing Seungmin’s thumb with his own, attempting to comfort him in any way possible.
Seungmin nods once. "Yeah, they are. As much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't handle it anymore, so I left.” He lets out a sigh. “Sometimes you need a new environment to be able to move on, though the memories still come flooding in once in a while.”
"Does it still hurt? The memories?"
Seungmin tightens his grip on their entwined hands. He takes a while to reply. "Sometimes. But it gets better now. Living here these few months definitely helps. I thought it would be hard to make friends since usually people already know each other during 2nd year and I’m not really good at making new friends,” he pauses and looks at Hyunjin in the eyes. A grateful smile graces his face. Bright and radiant. “...but then I met you, I met Jisung and Minho, I met Felix, though we’re only acquaintances so far, he counts nonetheless. I’m grateful to have met all of you here. It made me realize that I made a hella good decision to come here.”
Hyunjin breaks into a fond smile, eyes crinkling into crescents. “I’m glad that I met you too. You're such a wonderful gift for me, for us. My life won't be the same without you.” He leans forward and presses a kiss on Seungmin's forehead. "You did well, Mini. I'm proud of you."
"Mini. I'm cold," Hyunjin whines in a tiny voice. It's twenty minutes into two o’clock in the morning. They've been splaying out in the open field for more than an hour now. Seungmin checks the time on his phone.
"It's late. We should go back to the dorm.”
"Ten minutes more," Hyunjin pleads cutely, lips pouting. He adds, "Mini. I'm still cold."
Seungmin chuckles. "Hyunie, just say that you want a hug. Come in here." He opens his arms and lets Hyunjin scoot inside, snuggling up to Seungmin, feeling the warmth. Seungmin wraps his arms around Hyunjin's body, tightening his grip.
Comfortably burying his face in Seungmin's chest, Hyunjin speaks in a tiny muffled voice, "I could, but being subtle and waiting for you to figure it out is fun.”
Seungmin is the first one to flicker his eyes open, taking him a good minute to get used to the bright light that's coming from everywhere. When his vision is finally used to the light, his eyes are greeted by the beautiful face of the soundly sleeping Hyunjin, eyes shut tight, hair messily falls into his face, his chest rises and falls steadily. A soft smile graces his face, quietly admiring the beauty.
Despite the number of times he wakes up next to Hyunjin lately, either he's in Hyunjin's arms or Hyunjin is in his arms, Seungmin still couldn't get used to how beautiful Hyunjin looks right before his eyes. He's snapped from his admiring trance when Hyunjin scrunches his face from the strong sunlight that's directed straight at him. Seungmin cranes his neck up, the sun is high, and one thing rushes into his mind before he goes on full-mode panic:
They're late for the last class of the semester.