Chapter Text
10AM Gard du Nord
“And this is the world as I see it now
Turns out that nothing is fair”
Kieren needed to calm down, he was hyperventilating. Learning that Alex had set up for Jem to be harassed by photographers was too much for one evening. And after the way he left things with Simon earlier, Kieren couldn’t believe he was now knocking frantically on his bandmate's door. He almost shrunk back into his flat, maybe Simon would think it was a knock-knock-ginger? But no he didn’t, he couldn’t.
When Simon opened the door, Kieren almost fell through the doorway onto him. However Simon caught him and helped him back up. He had one headphone in, and the other dangling down by his waist. His hair was once again glistening with water and he had his guitar in one hand.
“What’s the matter, what happened?” All the resentment Simon had had for Kieren earlier didn’t seem to be there anymore, “Kieren?”
The way he said Kieren’s name. Kiier-ren. Every time Simon said it Kieren felt as if he was being wooed. Suddenly everything pushed into Kieren. All the loneliness, all the fear, all the disappointment from Rick. He was tired, and he didn’t want to be anymore. He wanted something passionate and he wanted Simon.
Simon was quite surprised when Kieren thrust himself at him, even more surprised by the enchanting softness of Kieren’s lips despite the roughness of their embrace. Simon Monroe, who had always stood as boldly as a statue, melted. He melted into Kieren and everything they were doing. He realised quickly that Kieren was doing all the work and leapt into action. His guitar dropped to the floor, going down in a thud and an echoing. Kieren was distracted momentarily and pulled away. They stared at each other for a moment, as if they both couldn’t believe they were kissing.
After a few seconds they began kissing again. Kieren with his hands clutched at the bottom of Simon’s hoodie, Simon’s hands roaming Kieren’s face. It was wild, exactly like how kissing Kieren should have been. Like Kieren was a raging fire, and Simon was trying to quench it like a firefighter quenching a blaze.
They continued to kiss, with it getting deeper by the second, until a voice broke them off.
“Simon is that you?”
It was Amy, she hadn’t seen them but it sounded as if she was coming up the stairs. It was midnight, what was Amy doing at their flats at midnight? Alert and aware, Simon pulled away from Kieren, swung them away from the doorway and into his flat. Quickly he slammed the door but he lost his balance and both him and Kieren toppled onto the floor. Simon banged his head against the, now shut, door and Kieren lay strewn over him. Kieren’s head was nestled into Simon’s shoulder and for 30 seconds they could hear nothing but each other’s breaths. Then there was a knocking at the door.
“Simon, what’s going on?”
Another round of knocking.
“Simon?”
She probably stood there for a few minutes but eventually gave up. Kieren didn’t say anything to Simon, they just lay pressed against one another.
From behind the door they heard Amy knocking at Kieren’s door.
“Kieren...are you there...it’s Amy.”
Then Lisa came out of her flat followed by Harvey. Their muffled voices carried through the wood.
“Amy, what’s going on it’s midnight?”
“Simon won’t answer his door, and neither will Kieren!”
Lisa grumbled something to which Amy replied, “you’re right, you’re right, I’ll see you tomorrow!”
After a couple more minutes the others had retreated back into their flats and Amy had left for home.
Kieren stood upright and Simon did too. They stood in an awkward silence for a minute, Simon’s head aching from the impact of the door, before Kieren uttered a word to sum up the situation.
“Christ!”
“Yeah.”
They both began to laugh.
“Kieren, are you okay?”
“Fine, fine. Gary harassed my sister, that's why I came, I think.”
“Really, oh god!”
“You were right about Alex!”
“Kieren I didn’t–”
“It’s okay, you were right and I should of believed you.”
Simon nodded, Kieren had no reason not to trust him.
“Is that why you came, you were upset?”
“I wanted to come just as much to–.”He stopped himself, Simon knew what he had wanted to do, after all he had done it.
Simon rubbed his hand against his swollen lips, god Kieren could kiss.
“I’ll go, maybe we can talk tomorrow–” Kieren started.
“Stay.”
“Okay.”
They were kissing again, and Kieren was pushing Simon down the corridor, completely in control.
“Hey–where’s–your–room?” Kieren said between kisses.
Simon angled them towards a certain door and Kieren pushed them through it.
Both of them woke up at six in the morning, still fully dress, they’d never got undressed. Not yet. Kieren was curled up on his side, with Simon sheltering him for warmth. Kieren roused first, accidentally nudging Simon in the stomach.
“Oh, sorry.” Kieren whispered.
“That’s okay.”
Kieren pulled Simon closer, “I’m sorry I stopped last night, I just didn’t want to–”
“Kieren.” Simon whispered, in the way he always said Kieren’s name, “it’s okay.”
Kieren nuzzled closer.
“What if Alex finds out?”
Simon didn’t say anything to reassure Kieren, he couldn’t, Alex finding out was a threat to both of them. Knowing Alex, he could have set up hidden cameras in this very room.
“I mean we’re meant to be in a band, you know.”
“I know.”
“How did we even end up in a band?”
Kieren was starting to panic now, Simon cut him off with a squeeze.
They dozed for a little while longer but they were pulled from their serenity when Simon looked at the clock. 7:00.
“Kieren, Amy will be here soon.”
Kieren shifted.
“Oh God, what if Amy finds out?”
Simon chuckled.
“Come on you better go get ready, rehearsals will be as gruelling as ever today.”
They both crawled out from Simon’s bed and Kieren dashed off to his own flat, peeking out into the corridor to make sure no one could see him.
At 7:30 all the band members simultaneously poked their heads out into the corridor, they were all thinking the same thing, where’s Amy? Usually Amy would walk them to the studios at 7:30, but she wasn’t there. Instead all four of them made out together.
“After last nights palaver perhaps she forgot!” Lisa suggested.
“What happened last night?” Kieren asked, trying to sound like he didn’t know what she was talking about.
“God knows, she came around at about midnight. Was knocking on both of your doors as if there was some sort of emergency. Didn’t you hear?”
“No!” Kieren and Simon both said at the same time.
Lisa looked at them suspiciously and Harvey practically shouted, “she bloody well woke me up and she wasn’t even knocking on my door.”
“Sleeping pills.” Simon answered.
“I was just really tired.” Kieren used as his excuse.
Both Lisa and Harvey exchanged confused glances but they’d reach the studio and soon all suspicions turned to laments over the busy day.
Usually the band members were scheduled to have a meeting with Amy at 12:30, but today her office was deserted. Kieren began to worry, he hadn’t seen Simon since this morning either. Alex had told their singing coaches Simon was excused from rehearsals today, something about writing. But what if Amy had figured out what Simon had been up to last night and gone straight to Alex? Kieren tried to rationalise with himself. If Amy had told Alex, he’d be in trouble too, right? Alex hadn’t offered up any reason why Amy had missed their meeting, instead he sent them for more rehearsals and warm-ups with Giles. His distrust of Alex was nearly at boiling point.
By five, Kieren was in a state of alert. No Simon. No Amy. A broody Alex. There must be something wrong. Or at least that’s what he thought until Alex called him, Lisa and Harvey into Studio 3. As they entered, Kieren saw Simon perched on a stool chatting with Daniel, Alex’s assistant.
“As you know Simon hasn’t been participating today,” Alex began. “Mainly because he came raving into my office at eight this morning, begging me to let him have the day off to write a song.”
Daniel seated the three band-members across from Simon on a sofa.
“At first I thought he was just trying to have a day off, but no he’s actually written something. So over to you Simon.”
Simon pulled up his guitar and Kieren was glad to see it hadn’t taken too much of a beating last night after Simon had dropped it on the floor when Kieren kissed him.
“This song is called 10AM Gard du Nord.” Simon said.
Simon began to play and Kieren recognised the tune. It was the rhythm between their hearts when they had kissed last night; slow and steady and haunting. This song was for Kieren, as Kieren’s songs were for Rick. Along with the strumming of the guitar Simon began to sing.
“This feels right and I'm letting it”
Kieren felt that to.
“And now I know just what to do”
Trust Simon to be self-assured.
“Tire of me if you will, my dear
I will not tire of you”
Perhaps not so self-assured?
“And this is the world as I see it now
Turns out that nothing is fair”
He directed that at Alex, it went unnoticed by everyone but Kieren.
“You can leave me if you wish, my love
But I'm not going anywhere”
Kieren caught Simon’s eye and shook his head, he wasn’t leaving.
“And please do not hurt me, love,
I am a fragile one, and you are the white in my eyes
Please do not break my heart,
I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life”
It was too personal this song, personal for them. He didn’t want the others to hear it. He didn’t want himself to hear it, it was like Simon was bleeding out and from his veins came the lyrics.
“Endless distraction, you worry me
But I'm trying to figure out how
You don't have to make any promises, love
I'm afraid I might die for you now”
Kieren rolled his eyes. Simon had already shown himself as a fierce protector but Kieren could handle himself well enough. Simon saw Kieren’s eye roll and smiled before going back into concentration.
“And I'd kill just to watch you as you're sleeping
I hope that you'll let me, in time”
He heard Lisa sigh in happiness next to him. The song was that affecting.
“You don't have to call me yours, my love
Damn it, I'm calling you mine!”
On that last line, Simon’s voice had become wobbly and filled with woe. Kieren found himself rising from his chair.
“And please do not hurt me, love,
I am a fragile one, and you are the white in my eyes’
He moved closer to Simon, his eyes welling up, like Rick’s had the night Kieren had sang to him.
“Please do not break my heart,
I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life”
Simon let out a warning glance to Kieren and indicated to Alex standing in the corner, he was in close conference with Daniel. To close a conference for him to be aware of what Kieren was doing but still Kieren understood Simon’s message, not here.
“And I will not tire of you”
As the final note trailed off, the last line hung in the air. It encircled Kieren and Simon, so for a moment they could forget everyone else around. It was broken though, when everyone began to clap.
“Wow, Simon.” Amy was standing at the door, like a ghost.
Simon stood up quickly and shot a glance at Kieren.
“Kieren, can I speak to you in my office please.” She didn't phrase that as a question merely a demand.
Beside him Simon drew a sharp breath.
“Yeah, I’ll be along in a minute.”
“It’s actually urgent, do you mind?”
Kieren so wanted to stay and praise Simon for his song, but we couldn’t without drawing anymore suspicion. They didn’t need anymore of that. He followed behind Amy quietly and when they reached her office he sat down in an equally quiet manner.
“You weren’t in your flat last night, were you?” Amy inquired.
Kieren didn’t say anything.
“Kieren, Alex found out about what had happened to Jem this morning. And when I rang her she said you’d rushed straight over to her!”
Kieren tried to keep a straight face, trust Jem to know when Kieren needed an alibi. She’d been doing it for years when he’d snuck out with Rick.
“We’re not angry, next time you should tell us though, okay?”
“Yeah, I will!”
“Okay, sorry I’ve been gone all morning. I went to The Captain offices to stop them from printing the pictures of Jem. They couldn’t of done so legally anyway, she’s underage, and they weren’t so happy in me reminding them.”
“Oh Amy, thank-you!” Kieren felt guilty, while she was out trying to help his family, he’d been thinking she’d betrayed him to Alex.
He stood up to go but there was something else on her mind.
“Kieren...”
“Yes.”
“Is Simon seeing anyone?”
“What?”
“I just want to know, I think he had someone in his flat last night?”
“Oh really?” He tried to sound surprised.
“Have you seen him with any girls at all?”
“Uh...no.” Technically not a lie.
“Never mind, I could just be being silly. Go back to the others, I’ve got some work to do.”
Kieren dipped out of her office but as soon as he did, strong hands caught him by the waist. It was Simon, pressing him up against the wall and kissing his neck.
“Hang on!” Kieren whispered urgently, “she’s right in there.”
Simon pulled backwards and let out a sigh.
He stammered for a moment and then said, “but then she’ll know.”
“Look, okay.” Kieren geared up to take a step forward in their relationship. “If this is something we’re doing...”
He looked nervously up at Simon, who nodded in agreement. Yes, this is something they were doing.
“...then I don’t want her to find out like this, what if she tells Alex?”
“Well then she tells him.”
“Simon, if we’re caught you know what will happen!”
“We won’t!”
“Si–”
“Kieren...” Ugh, the way Simon said his name, “...we won’t.”
Kieren pressed his head into Simon, “I liked your song.”
“Did you?”
Kieren mumbled something about Simon’s song being better then his.
“Maybe that’s because I haven’t heard a song written for me yet.”
“You want me to write you a song?”
“Yeah, if you want you can tell Alex you wrote it for a lost love back home, they would get his money grabbing heart going.”
Kieren scoffed, Alex would probably set up for his “lost love” to get harassed by photographers.
“Come on, lets go join the others.”