Chapter Text
Book 4: King
Chapter 2 – Firefly Lake
Sorry this took so long, guys :-/ I do actually have the entire plot planned out, and I'll hopefully get to it soon, but, you know, adult life. Also, reviews really encourage me to write, so please let me know what you think! I'm especially curious about what you all think about what I've said Aang's been up to…so, yeah, reviews greatly appreciated! More will come soon!
Zuko leads Katara through the palace halls out to one of the exterior gardens. The sun is beginning to set, and the sky is fading into yellows and golds that glow above the garden's fiery red-leafed trees. They cross trickling little black-watered steams that pool into great lotus blossom ponds. Zuko takes her deep into the garden, over intricate curved bridges, and they sit on a bench that rests besides an old, wild-limbed tree.
"This is so lovely," Katara tells him.
"I thought you'd like it," he admits.
Katara stares out in awe, taking in the strange flowers that flow out of the trees and tumbling water that tinkles like music as it pours over the mossy-rocked cascades. Her gaze finally returns to Zuko, who's been staring at her this whole time.
"So…" she says awkwardly as she looks into his eyes, holding a big smile on her face to cover her nerves. "How's…how're are things?"
Zuko chuckles softly. He doesn't want to bore her with the bureaucratic tedium he deals with every day. "They are…" he begins, not knowing where to take that sentence and realizing it might be best left there. Things just are, and he's doing the best he can keep them that way.
"…They're going pretty well, right now, I think," he says a bit sheepishly. But he doesn't want to talk about, or even think about, his life right now. "How about you? Are you heading North or South this time?"
"South. It's been a long time since I've been home."
"Really?"
"Yeah," she says lightly, "you'd know this if you answered my letter…" She laughs again, to show she's not really angry. But Zuko hangs his head, ashamed.
"Ehh, sorry about that…"
"It's okay," she teases. But she does wish he had written to her.
"I need to visit my dad…" She tells him how their relationship strained when she first went home. How her father become despondent, depressed. "…I mean, you can only be sad and angry for so long," she tells Zuko, "I don't think my brother would have wanted…" She's not quite sure how to articulate this, but Zuko understands.
"You're right. Sokka would want you to be happy."
"Yeah," Katara says, her voice catching just a bit. She still aches, and she'll always feel like a part of her is missing, she knows Sokka wouldn't want her to wallow. Sometimes, when she's really down, she tries to imagine him, what he'd say to her. It's always something about eating good food, laughing at good jokes, spending time with good friends. She knows that's what Sokka would want. "I'm trying to be," she tells Zuko.
"Happy?"
"Yeah," she says, looking at him and smiling but unable to say the word. "It's not easy. Everything is so different, and I've changed so much…"
"You have?" Zuko isn't quite sure what she means by this.
"I think so," she says, getting up and standing before him, as if giving proof. "Haven't I?"
She is definitely not the girl he remembers from the balcony, three years before. She's taller, stronger, and her body's more developed, Zuko notices, but tries not to let his eyes linger on her curves. He sees in her eyes that same steely determination he's always known her to have, and that deep softness and ability to care, but there's an added sadness now too.
"You look good," he tells her, trying not to blush. "And taller too, I think," he adds as a bit of a joke, rising to stand next to her.
She looks up at him and smiles. Zuko's taller too, he's gained a couple more inches in his last teenage years and added on muscle as well. Since he spends most days sitting in this throne room listening to bureaucrats complain about the changes he wants to make, his fighting and firebending skills began to fall behind. But after the last attack on his life by members of the Eternal Flame, he'd made a point of getting back into to shape. He's been training a few days a week for the past several months and is beginning to feel stronger.
"I guess I've changed too," he tells her.
She stares at him curiously for a few moments, her eyes alive with light. "Hmm," she says, reaching up and unpinning his royal crown and running her fingers through his hair, messily knocking it in his face. She steps back and studies him, "Nope. Same Zuko."
They both smile.
"Oh, gods, am I allowed to do that?" She says a few moments later, realizing what she's just done. She hands his crown back to him and looks around for guards. "They're not going to arrest me for touching you, are they?"
"You can touch me," He tells her, letting his fingers hold on to her hand a moment longer than they have to as he takes the crown from her. He's actually glad she took it off; he forgets he's wearing it most days, it's just part of the routine.
Katara is a bit surprised how easily she's fallen back into their comfortable familiarity. She has to take a step back and remind herself how much time has passed, how different things are now. She tries to push down the feelings that begin to kindle inside her, not wanting to relive that old hurt again.
Zuko sees something shift in her eyes and feels her moving away from him.
"Katara, I—"
"How's Suki?" She says over him. He's not sure if she's done this on purpose or not.
"Suki? Oh, um…"
"She's still here, right? With the Kyoshi Warriors?"
"Yeah, they're here. They're good. They're some of the few people I trust, to be honest, I'm glad to have them around." He says as he runs his fingers though his hair, thinking of all enemies he's made since becoming Fire Lord. "I've promoted Suki twice…to captain and commander. She's an excellent guardsman…"
"That's great," Katara says.
"Yeah, she's doing very well. At least professionally speaking," Zuko admits. He doesn't want the conversation to steer back to sadness. But it seems unavoidable.
"Ahh," Katara says, understanding. She'd written three letters to Suki over the years and never got a single response, so she's not surprised. But she'd hoped to hear that Suki had moved on, thinking maybe if Suki had, then there was hope for her father…for herself.
"Is she happy?" Katara asks, her voice betraying her slightly.
"I don't know," Zuko admits with a bit of a shrug. "But she's in the colonies right now. The Kyoshi Warriors have been indispensable in resolving the conflicts between the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation citizens there…"
"That makes sense," Katara can understand why fighters from the Earth Kingdom who work for the Fire Lord would make good ambassadors.
"You should be really proud," Katara tells Zuko, her voice softening a bit. "Of what you did there."
Zuko just shrugs.
"No, really, I heard all about it. The Harmony Restoration Movement. How Aang and King Kuei wanted to separate everybody by race, break families apart and tear people from their homes. I'm really glad you stopped that."
"Aang and King Kuei were just doing what they thought was right…"
"But they weren't," Katara says softly, reaching out to touch his hand, "you were."
Zuko gulps uncomfortably, not sure what to say. He blushes a bit from the compliment and takes Katara's hand in his, squeezing it back.
As soon as he does, though, she stiffens, and pulls away from him.
Zuko curses himself internally.
"Are you still on good terms? With Aang?" She asks, her voice distant and aloof again.
"Yeah, I think," Zuko admits, "for my part at least."
Katara smiles softly and nods.
"And you?" Zuko asks, trying to find a way back to the conversation.
"Oh yes," she says. "I write him and Toph regularly. And they write me back."
Zuko's insides begin to churn and he curses himself some more. "Katara, I am really—"
"It's okay, Zuko," she tells him, her voice is light with laughter again, "Both Aang and Toph are well, in case you're wondering."
"Good." Zuko says, his cheeks burning further. He doesn't want to appear uncaring.
"Toph's started a metalbending academy."
"That's great." Zuko is relatively certain someone had mentioned this to him before.
"Yeah, and when she's not teaching," Katara begins to laugh, "she makes art."
"Art?"
"Yeah, little metal sculptures."
"Wow…that's…" Zuko doesn't even know what to say.
"It's awful, is what it is," Katara says. "They're so ugly. She's sent me like five…But it's very thoughtful. And she really seems to enjoy it."
"Good for her," Zuko says, meaning it and hoping Katara believes him. "And Aang?"
"Well, you know he's busy and excited about his special project, so I haven't heard too much from him—"
"Special project?"
Katara looks up at him and realizes he has no idea what she's talking about. "Oh, you don't know?" She looks around to see if there are any guards or others within earshot. "I…um…I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you."
Zuko just shrugs and accepts this. One less thing for him to worry about, he figures. He's got enough on his plate, he doesn't need to worry about whatever nonsense the last airbender is up to…
"If I tell you, it's as a friend, you understand?"
"Hey," he says, "as long as it's not happening within Fire Nation territory, Aang can do whatever he wants, as far as I'm concerned."
"He's making more airbenders."
"How?" Zuko asks. The word pours slowly out of his lips as he tries to imagine how Aang might be doing this beyond the traditional way.
It takes Katara a moment to realize what he means, and she laughs again, "Oh, no, not like that! With the energy bending. Like he did with your father, but in reverse. You know?"
Zuko looks astonished. "Wow." That actually makes a lot of sense, he thinks.
"Yeah, he figures, if he could bend energy one way, he should be able to do it the other way too. And he's found a lot of people who are descendants of past air nomads….you know, ones who were wondering and fell in love with an Earth Kingdom man, a Water Tribe Girl…"
"Yeah," Zuko says. It's such an obvious plan, he can't believe he never thought of it. "That's great."
"Yeah," Katara says, her face beaming again. "It is."
Zuko looks down and his eyes lock meaningfully with her. He can't help but feel there's something he needs to say, but before he can find the words, Katara shifts away from him, establishing that cold distance again.
"Shall we walk?" she says, turning her gaze out to the garden.
"Let's wait, just a few moments more."
Katara arches an eyebrow at him but follows him over to one of the metal railings, and the pair lean onto it and look out over the flower-kissed pond.
Katara doesn't know what they're doing, but she has to admit, it is beautiful here, and peaceful. There's nothing like this in the Southern or Northern Watertribes.
They stand close, in silence, and several moments pass. The shadows begin to swallow the trees and the flowers finally fade in the dying day's light.
Katara is just about to ask Zuko what they're waiting for when she sees it. A little light sparks in one of the corners of darkness. And then another. And another.
"Oh, my, Zuko! Did you see that?"
Zuko chuckles softly.
"Those are fireflies, right?" She asks. She's only seen them once before—the night they snuck into the capital three years ago to stop his sister.
"Yeah," Zuko says softly.
"They're so beautiful." Dozens appear now, dancing above the water and amongst the trees.
"I thought you'd like them."
They stand silent for several more moments as Katara stares in wonder. It's like the stars have come alive before her, come down to earth, reminding her that even when things seem dark, there's still brightness and beauty, if you're willing to be patient and look. She didn't know how much she needed to be reminded of that right now. But she did.
Katara closes her eyes, trying to hold on to the moment, store it somewhere deep inside of her. She takes a deep breath and opens them. A few tears fill her eyes and one escapes down her cheek.
"Thank you, Zuko," she finally says, wiping her face as she turns to look at Zuko.
Even though it's dark, Zuko catches the tears shimmering in her eyes. He has to stop himself from wiping them away. He doesn't know if it's his place. He wants to ask her what's wrong, but before he can figure out how, or decide if he should, she smiles at him.
"You don't know how much this means to me."
Zuko just nods respectfully and bows slightly to her. Even though she's standing right next to him, he can't help but feel the distance between them, and he curses himself for having let relationship drift so far apart. Why couldn't I have just sent her a letter! He thinks to himself.
As he tries to figure out what to do or what to say, he notices her cross her arms tightly in front of her and rub them slightly for warmth.
"You're cold," he says as he realizes, "let's go inside."
He gestures for them to start walking and leads the way.
"Have you eaten?" he asks as they enter the royal hall. "We have…we can make just about anything you want," he tells her excitedly, hoping to keep the conversation going, spend more time with her.
"I'm not really hungry," she tells him, and again, he senses that distance in her voice. Zuko can't help but wonder if he's done something wrong.
But he doesn't press the matter and tries to hide his disappointment.
"I'll walk you to your room, then."
Katara smiles softly and follows him.
When they get to her room, they both remember the last time they done this—after Zuko's coronation and they'd spent the night making out on the balcony. Zuko'd kissed her desperately when they'd reached her door, and she'd clung to him tightly, not wanting to let go, almost dragging him into the room with her and into her bed. She'd certainly wanted to then.
As Katara looks at Zuko now, she's glad she didn't, knowing that she wouldn't see him for three years.
She wonders if it will be another three years before she sees him again, and she makes herself focus on that even though her old affections for him are beginning to burn.
"Well, here we are," he tells her. "You should find everything you need in there, and if there's anything else, you can just let one of the-"
"Thank you, Zuko," she tells him with an appreciative smile. She can tell how nervous he is and doesn't want him to feel bad. "It's been really nice…really good…seeing you."
"It has," he says as an earnest smile fills his lips and his eyes shine with hope.
Katara can't deny how he affects her. "I suppose you'll be busy tomorrow…with matters of the state?"
"Uhh," Zuko runs his fingers through his hair and scratches his head. He honestly can't remember anything that he's supposed to be doing at the moment.
"Well, I'll try to say goodbye before I go."
"You're your leaving tomorrow?" his voice betrays his disappointment.
"The captain said the ship could be repaired in less than a day. I suspect we'll be leaving before noon."
Katara senses his distress and feels bad for him. But she knows he's got a country to run, and how difficult things are for him. She doesn't want to add to his troubles.
"I'll be sure to say goodbye," she promises him, leaning in and squeezing his hand softly.
Dozens of thoughts and feelings race though Zuko's mind, he wants to beg to stay, tell her he needs her, ask her for a bit more time. But he's unable to say any of them, and before he knows it, Katara has gone into her room and softly shut the door.
Zuko gulps audibly and reaches out, lightly placing his hand on the part of the door she'd just touched.
There's a pained look in his eye, but he does nothing. He says nothing. He just holds his hand there for several moments longer and begins to walk away.
Once Zuko has reached the end of her hall, he begins running towards his family's private quarters.
"Uncle!" he bellows, "uncle! Where are you?"
Zuko darts into a few rooms and eventually finds Iroh asleep in an overstuffed chair in the library.
"Uncle!"
Iroh jolts awake, spilling the cup of tea he'd had resting on his belly at his nephew's voice.
"Zuko, my son, what's wrong?"
"I need your help, uncle," Zuko says as he runs over. He pulls a chair away from a desk, spins it backwards, and sits on it with his elbows resting on the back.
Iroh rubs his eyes as he wakes up. He looks at Zuko directly, wondering what the trouble is.
"I need your advice. Something is wrong with Katara."
"What do you mean?" Iroh asks, giving Zuko his full attention as he comes awake.
"She's….I don't know, I think she's unhappy."
"What makes you think this? She seemed fine when we were playing Pai Sho."
Zuko scoffs. "No, uncle, you don't understand, she was probably just being polite. When we were together, she'd start to smile, relax—it felt just like old times again. But as soon as she'd start to warm up, she'd grow cold, distant. It was impossible to tell what she was feeling."
Iroh laughs and Zuko glares.
"This isn't a joke, uncle. Tell me. Is there something I can do?"
"To figure out what Katara is feeling?"
"Yes!" Zuko voice is almost desperate.
"Ahhh," Iroh says, tugging at his beard softly. "Women are marvelous and occasionally mysterious creates."
Zuko sighs in agreement; Iroh chuckles. He is deeply proud of his nephew and all the adversity he's overcome in his short life—but he also knows his experience with women has been very limited.
"Yes, nephew, there is a way to learn what a woman is truly feeling."
"Really?" Zuko leans forward.
"Oh, yes," Iroh says with a twinkle in his eye.
"How?" Zuko is desperate to hear his uncle's secret wisdom.
"You ask her."
"Ask her what?"
Zuko completely misses his uncle's meaning. He's expecting some deep and mystic advice.
Iroh laughs. "You ask her, Zuko."
Zuko's jaw drops as he realizes. "I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
Zuko grows agitated when he doesn't have an answer. He gets up and begins to pace.
"Zuko…"
But the young Fire Lord swats away his uncle's attention.
"Zuko…" Iroh repeats, looking his nephew directly in the eye. "Why can't you ask her?"
"I…." he searches for words but finds none that are adequate. "She leaves tomorrow," he tells his uncle, his voice almost breaking.
Iroh looks at him sympathetically. He knows how much this girl means to him.
"Then you have plenty of time," Iroh tells him, standing up to face him and squeezing his shoulder affectionately.
Zuko looks his uncle in the eye, his pain written clear across his face. Iroh would be lying if he said he didn't feel for the boy.
"Just ask her," Iroh tells him, "there are few things in life worse than an unanswered question."
Zuko gulps, dryly, and nods, even though he doesn't have any idea how he'll do it.