Chapter Text
Chapter 9 – Maybe later
Practice started at 3 pm.
And it really did start at exactly 3 pm which was the biggest red flag of all.
Usually, the girls would all trickle in ten to fifteen minutes after they were due to start, and then wouldn’t actually get around to practicing until half past the hour. But this day was different.
Even their dance instructor was surprised. She playfully pointed out their punctuality, but was only met with quiet acceptance instead of the usual boisterous overreaction.
For Shuhua, she was focused on her dancing. But more than that, she was trying to keep her face as neutral as possible. She felt like it was written clear as day on her face that she was no longer single. And the fact that it was Soojin whom she was dating? It took all of her willpower not to constantly burst out in song or shout in joy. So, during practice, she was the quietest she’d ever been.
For Yuqi, she was dividing her time between being worried about Soyeon finding out about Soojin and Shuhua’s relationship, and being worried that Minnie and Soyeon would suddenly start brawling in the middle of the practice room. As a result, her face was fixed in a permanent expression of discomfort. She looked like she had to go. Badly. And when their instructor asked her if she needed to use the bathroom, she embarrassingly agreed so she didn’t have to explain what was actually wrong with her face.
For Soyeon, she felt frustrated. She knew her groupmates were hiding things from her and it left her feeling very uneasy. She didn’t want to be branded as an overbearing leader, but she needed to know what her members were getting up to, didn’t she? It was her responsibility. She trusted them fully, but she wasn’t stupid enough to think that her members couldn’t do stupid shit too.
For Soojin, it was just like any other practice. She wasn’t normally chatty and this day was no exception. But she was a bit lost in thought at times. She knew there were a few conversations she had to have soon. Not the fun kind either—the ones that could easily break friendships. She just had to be careful enough with her words so they didn’t end too badly.
For Minnie, she had too many thoughts swirling in her head. The fight with Soyeon, Miyeon, Shuhua and Soojin, Miyeon, Soojin and Shuhua, how Soyeon hadn’t said a word to her since last week and how Yuqi was walking on eggshells around them. And Miyeon. Miyeon, Miyeon, Miyeon. Damn… why did she have to drink that much that night?
For Miyeon, she was a blank slate. She’d cried and raged and laid her heart out to Soojin ever since that fateful night. And now, she was just… not in the mood to think about it anymore. All she was focused on was practice and nothing else. Absolutely nothing else.
--
“Hey, hold on a second,” Minnie’s voice came suddenly right as Miyeon walked out of the bathroom. Had she been waiting for her?
“What’s up?”
That was mostly a rhetorical question. There could really only be one thing on both of their minds right now. The large, pink elephant in the room.
“Can we talk?” Minnie quietly asked, eyes occasionally checking their surroundings for anyone that could overhear them. “We can go up to my studio for a bit.”
And Miyeon couldn’t hide the disbelief in her voice. “Your studio?” Surely the other girl couldn’t be that thoughtless.
Minnie closed her eyes in instant regret. “Sorry. I didn’t mean—somewhere else is fine too, I just—”
“We could’ve talked yesterday or the day before that.”
“I know, but—”
“We should get back to practice,” Miyeon cut her off, not in the mood to listen anymore. She tried to sidestep the younger girl, but Minnie caught her arm before she could walk off. “Minnie—”
“I’m sorry, but we really need to talk.”
“Not now,” Miyeon flatly rejected. But as much as she hated to admit it, Minnie was right. They couldn’t go on like this. “After practice,” she promised instead.
“Okay,” Minnie nodded and finally released her.
Miyeon walked briskly back to their practice room and, the second she stepped in, she caught Soojin’s curious eyes. The girl probably knew what it meant that both her and Minnie had been outside for so long. That they’d probably been talking. And she was right. Soojin raised an eyebrow in question, but Miyeon subtly shook her head. The older girl just wanted to get through this practice first—she could focus on all that other stuff later.
Soojin took the rejection well enough, walking over to the wall that Shuhua was resting against and striking up a conversation with the younger girl.
But… those two… weren’t they acting a bit weirder than usual?
Miyeon had noticed it since the morning after that fateful night. She’d gotten home early, just a bit after 6 am. She’d tried to be as quiet as possible as she snuck in, but her eyes had been blurry from tears and she’d stumbled over one of her heels. That had woken up one of the pups—she hadn’t known which one, just that she’d tried in vain to shush the incessant yipping from the puppy beds in the living room.
Any other day and she would’ve been over there in a second, petting the dogs back to sleep. Not today.
She was tired, exhausted, and still reeling from one of the worst nights she’d ever had. She just wanted to get to her room and shut out the rest of the world. So, she tried to do just that. She scooped up her heels and made a beeline for her bedroom door. And she was almost home-free when she heard Soojin’s door creak open.
“Mata,” the younger girl whined, voice laced with sleep. “Stop barking already, what’s wrong with—Miyeon…?”
Miyeon froze in front of her own door like a thief in the night, caught red-handed before she could make her escape.
“Ah, did you just get back?” Soojin asked with a small chuckle. She was probably imagining that Miyeon had actually gone to that little party in the other dorm. That she’d been her usual drunk self and been too out of it to get back home last night. That she’d stayed over in the comforting safety of one of their members’ rooms or maybe even passed out in the bathroom like Soojin herself had done that one time. Well, no. She’d be dead wrong. Sure, Miyeon had gotten stupid wasted last night, but that’s where the similarities ended. “How was the party? Or hangout—whatever you were calling it,” Soojin asked, raking a hand through her unruly bedhead.
Miyeon didn’t even consider lying, not for a second. “I didn’t go.”
“… Oh?”
She could sense the moment the other girl’s demeanor changed. Shifting from playful teasing to careful concern. Miyeon clutched her heels to her chest and shakily nodded. The tears hadn’t fully left her yet and they were already coming back out in full force. “I was with Minnie... in her studio…” She sniffed as the tears fell and that’s all it took for Soojin to rush to her side. “We got drunk…” She could barely continue.
“Here, let me take those,” Soojin murmured as she pulled the dirty heels from Miyeon’s tight grasp. “Sit down first, okay.”
Miyeon could only imagine how unsteady she looked on her feet because Soojin held her firmly by the arms and ushered her quickly into the room she’d been steps in front of. Miyeon sat on her bed and just stared down at her lap as the other girl closed the door. And then her field of vision was filled up by Soojin as she squatted down in front of her.
“Okay, when you can… tell me what happened.”
Miyeon nodded, wiping at her face to try and clean herself up a bit. To no avail, of course.
“We got drunk—” she started, only to have her voice hitch halfway through. This was going to be far from easy, it seemed.
Soojin pressed firmly on her thighs, trying to ground her and remind her that she was there. It worked. “Take your time,” the younger girl softly reminded her.
“We got drunk,” Miyeon forced out after a long moment, determined to get through it all this time. “And I don’t remember everything that happened, but I know we kissed and—and… we definitely kissed…” She glanced up at Soojin’s face to catch her reaction, but the other girl was as stoic as ever. Miyeon took what little courage she had left and kept going. But her voice wobbled and pitched as she spoke, “I woke up this morning… and our clothes were gone. Most of our clothes… We weren’t naked, but it was obvious we did… something… I woke up first and we were on her couch and, I don’t know… I was so embarrassed because I didn’t remember anything and then she woke up and…” Miyeon shrugged helplessly as her lower lip trembled. She felt Soojin’s hand rubbing softly along her leg in comfort. “She woke up and she just—it was like nothing happened, she didn’t even…” And just the memory of that morning made her eyes well up again.
“Maybe she was just as surprised as you were,” Soojin hopefully suggested, but Miyeon just shook her head in response.
There was surprise, and then there was whatever the hell Minnie had done. “She said we must’ve been really hot so that’s why we took our clothes off.” She shook her head in disappointment, brows furrowing in hurt. “And there was lipstick all over her face, all over her mouth—she saw it in the mirror, I know she did… But she just kept pretending… While I was trying to find my shirt, she was playing games on her phone—like how thoughtless can you be?” Miyeon looked at Soojin’s face in hopes that she might have an answer, but there were none.
The younger girl pursed her lips and dropped her eyes. There was nothing she could come up with to excuse Minnie’s behavior.
“What if we did have—” Miyeon cut herself off, then continued in a strained whisper, “if we had sex… then it was my first time…” She gripped Soojin’s hand in her own, needing the support now more than ever. “And I don’t remember anything…”
“Everything’s going to be okay, don’t worry,” Soojin calmly stated.
“I just…”
“You two need to talk. Maybe she was embarrassed or scared or maybe she just needed some time—take some time. Both of you.” Soojin peered up into her eyes as she spoke, thumbs brushing over the backs of Miyeon’s hands. “Take some time,” she repeated. “And then try to talk to her again.”
Miyeon let out a deep sigh. “Okay.”
“Minnie’s not mean, she’s just stupid sometimes.”
Miyeon chuckled as she wiped away the tears on her face. “She’s really stupid,” she agreed with a snort. “That’s my type, I guess—stupid... Hot, but stupid.”
“It could be worse,” Soojin reasoned, slowly getting to her feet. She started stretching out her cramping legs, but then jolted in surprise when her phone buzzed in her pants. She took out the device and a small smile stretched across her face. “The dogs woke Shuhua up,” she informed Miyeon, settling down on the bed beside her. “She’s going to take them out for a walk.”
“You can go if you want,” Miyeon offered, knowing how much Soojin enjoyed those morning walks.
“No, she can deal with them on her own. She’s a hard worker, you know.” The sly smile on Soojin’s face as she texted back made it clear that it was some kind of inside joke. Which was nothing new—those two always seemed to have at least a dozen inside jokes going on at any one time.
Sometimes it made Miyeon a bit jealous. Especially on a day like today.
But Soojin quickly pocketed her phone and stretched back out onto Miyeon’s bed, giving the older girl her full attention. Sure, it was a bit weird that Soojin would turn Shuhua down, but Miyeon appreciated the gesture. “So tell me more about your type,” Soojin teased. “It’s a bit more… female than I imagined.”
Miyeon sighed. “It’s really not, it’s just Minnie.”
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“No one else?”
Miyeon pulled her legs up to her chest so she could rest her chin on her knees. She pouted as she thought, then carefully answered, “Not for a while, no.”
“Interesting, I had no idea… And if I didn’t know, I’m betting that Minnie didn’t either,” Soojin guessed.
Miyeon closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in clear frustration. “She’s so… stupid.”
Soojin burst out laughing at that, causing the older girl to eventually do the same. And just like that, Miyeon could feel her heart starting to heal bit by bit.
And she did end up following Soojin’s advice after that.
She took her time, gave herself the space to come to terms with what may have happened, and she waited. She waited for Minnie to say something. To text or call or drop by their dorm in the next few days, but nothing.
Minnie was radio silent and Miyeon could only spill her heart to Soojin so many times before she grew tired of waiting.
And that’s where she was right now. At practice—their first group activity since that night—and she was tired of waiting.
--
“Can you guys stay back for a bit? I want to talk about something,” Soyeon called out as soon as practice ended, mere seconds after their dance instructor had left.
Miyeon was still doing her cooldown stretches, so she had no problem staying. But she could see Minnie’s expression darken from where the other girl stood over her packed bag, pulling her hoodie down over her head.
“Sure, no problem,” Yuqi chirped, a bit too hyper given that they’d just been dancing for 3 hours. “What’s up?” She asked as she flopped down to sit across from where Miyeon was stretching.
Soojin and Shuhua silently joined them on the ground too, forming a sort of makeshift half-circle.
Before responding, Soyeon walked over to her bag and pulled out some crumpled sheets of paper and her phone. She hastily arranged them as she walked back. “It’s a song that I’ve been writing lately,” she explained. “I wanted to run it by you guys.” And then she joined their little pod on the ground, leaving a gap big enough to fit the last remaining member.
But Minnie still hadn’t moved.
And the others were starting to notice. All except Soyeon, who kept her head down and focused on her music sheets.
Yuqi nervously glanced back at Minnie, but looked like she might puke if she said something. And Shuhua was sitting ramrod straight—which was especially unusual given that she was beside Soojin who’d she’d normally try to cuddle at every opportunity. It was unclear if the youngest noticed the rising tension, but Soojin definitely did.
The stoic girl raised a challenging eyebrow at Minnie. “Do you have another schedule?”
But instead of answering, Minnie just glanced at Miyeon.
Was she… waiting on her? Was this because of Miyeon’s promise that they’d talk after practice? What did Minnie have to say that was so, so important that she couldn’t wait a few minutes for Soyeon to run a song by them? Well. Miyeon wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of an answer when she’d been forced to wait days for the other girl to even speak to her.
In the end, Soyeon was the one who finally spoke up. “If you’re leaving, just let me know when you’re free so I can get your opinion too,” she said, cutting through the tense atmosphere. She still hadn’t looked up, so she didn’t get to see Minnie roll her eyes at her.
But Minnie had probably realized she was outnumbered, so she said, “I can stay.” And she joined their little circle, though she made sure to put some distance between her and Soyeon.
This was going to be… interesting.
“Okay, thanks everyone.” Soyeon nodded, looking around at each member, then she focused on Soojin. “Actually, Soojin was the one who gave me the main idea for this song,” she admitted.
“I did?”
“Yeah, I was thinking of something completely different. A love song, kinda, but my thoughts were pretty superficial,” she chuckled at herself. “And then I was speaking with Soojin one day, and she mentioned how love… how you have to want it, you know. For a love that’s romantic, that’s special, it has to be something that you’d want to have yourself… And so I decided to write about boring love instead.”
Miyeon furrowed her brows as she tried to understand. “Boring love?”
“Yeah. It’s not romantic, it’s not good at all, really. It’s not…” Soyeon pursed her lips as she tried to come up with a good word to describe it. “It’s not pretty,” she finally decided on. “It’s not perfect or warm. You’d never pick it out of a lineup and say, I want that one—that’s the kind of love I want to have one day. But if suddenly you fall in love with someone and this is what it looks like, you can’t change that. So you have to decide if you want to keep it or… keep looking for something you might never find again.”
Soyeon shyly ducked her head as she finished explaining. “So, yeah. That’s the song… And I have a little demo I wanted you guys to hear.”
“Play it for us,” Soojin said with an encouraging nod.
“Okay.” Soyeon took out her phone and fiddled with it for a moment. She pulled up a song on her music player, then pressed play. She put the phone in the middle of their little circle so they all could hear it.
And Miyeon immediately knew that she wouldn’t be able to give her honest opinion. This song… the lyrics were hitting far too close to home for her. And even in the sections where Soyeon had just hummed or freestyled over the beat—even there, it felt too real.
A love that no one wanted, a sense of disappointment that this was the love they’d found, a feeling of wanting it to be better but not knowing if that was being too greedy. Should she just be grateful that she’d had whatever dalliance she’d had with Minnie that night? Was that to be the extent of what they were together? Was she greedy for wanting Minnie to want more like she did? Was it worth putting their relationship as a group at risk for something that had no promise of lasting? A ‘boring’, unpretty love, an unromantic love, a… really, it wasn’t even love, was it? Right now it was nothing more than a drunken mistake.
“So, what do you think?” Soyeon asked, pulling Miyeon out of her thoughts. The song had ended and everyone was taking a moment to fully digest it. But now they had to give their feedback. Was this a song they could see themselves bringing to life as a group? Did they have faith that they could perform with the emotions it demanded?
For Miyeon, the answer was a resounding yes. And for that very same reason, she never wanted to sing this song. Ever.
“It’s good,” Miyeon said instead. “But isn’t it a bit slow…? And it sounds pretty sad.” That was a roundabout way of trying to turn down the song without actually saying it. Their brand of music was intense, powerful and high-octane. Yes, they could probably pull off a song like this, but was it worth the effort?
“I like it,” Yuqi said next. “I don’t know how we’re going to do it—title track, b-side, Japanese release, Chinese release, whatever. But I definitely want to do it.”
How very supportive of Yuqi. Miyeon bit her lip, not wanting to be too negative too early on.
“It’s super emotional,” Shuhua chimed in. The girl finally seemed to relax her posture for the first time all practice. “It makes me want to cry,” she admitted.
“But you didn’t cry,” Soojin teased.
“No, but I was pretty close. Look, see,” she pointed at her eyes.
Soojin unexpectedly played into Shuhua’s little act, leaning in closer to seemingly inspect the younger girl’s face. But, at the last moment, she smirked.
And then she planted a surprise kiss on Shuhua’s cheek.
Nearly everybody’s eyes widened in shock, except Soojin’s. The girl just leaned back and admired her handiwork. Shuhua, on the other hand, looked like she’d seen a ghost. Or she looked like Soojin had just kissed her out of nowhere. Actually, that’s exactly what she looked like because that’s exactly what had happened.
She squeaked out some kind of combination of words, half Korean and half Mandarin. And then she flopped back down onto the ground, her hands coming up to cover her burning face.
Miyeon blinked. She looked between the two girls, trying to place Soojin’s actions in the realm of her known behavior. But something just didn’t fit. The two of them had kissed before, sure. On camera and in the practice rooms too, but somehow this felt… different? Was it the way Shuhua still hadn’t said anything remotely intelligible? Just weird sounds and gestures as she rolled on the ground. Wouldn’t she usually be playing it off by now? Showing off her cheek like a badge of honor? And Soojin wouldn’t usually be smiling like that, would she? So… lovingly.
“What do you think?” Soyeon suddenly asked.
Miyeon whipped her head around, but she realized the leader wasn’t talking to her. She was talking to Minnie. And it seemed like she was already over Soojin and Shuhua’s little moment, because she was turned almost fully towards Minnie. Or maybe she’d just put it aside so she could deal with something she deemed more important.
Minnie still hadn’t said anything about the song yet.
So Miyeon decided to ignore the way Soojin pulled apologetically at Shuhua, trying to get her off the ground. She ignored how Shuhua practically buried her face in Soojin’s neck, whispering things in her ear that no one else could hear. She ignored how Yuqi looked like she’d swallowed a chicken whole, her face the picture of shock and constipation as she tried not to meet anybody’s eyes.
Miyeon purposefully ignored all of that. And instead she focused on Minnie’s words as she finally spoke.
“Do you want me to be honest?” She asked, lips pursing into a thin line.
“Of course,” Soyeon replied.
“I think… you’re a really good writer… and composer… the song’s really, really good,” Minnie admitted.
“Thanks,” Soyeon said with a slight blush on her cheeks. “Is there a ‘but’ in there?”
“But—” Minnie took a deep breath. And then she finally cracked a little smile. “But I kinda wished I’d written it instead. I’m supposed to be the emo writer, not you.”
It felt like the entire room let out a breath of relief. It certainly felt that way to Miyeon—she could see smiles that had been tentative before blossoming into genuine expressions of joy. This was more like it.
“Hey, I can be sensitive too,” Soyeon played along.
“Yeah, but you had to ask Soojin for advice,” Minnie jokingly responded. “Seo Soojin? Miss I have no emotions Seo Soojin?” She shot the dancer a glance to see how her words had landed and laughed when she saw the murder in Soojin’s eyes.
“Come over here and say that to my face.”
“No, I’m good. I’m good.”
“Yeah, she was just joking,” Yuqi said a little too loudly with a smile that seemed a little too forced. “Don’t mind her, Minnie’s just a little jokester, isn’t she? She’s just so funny sometimes, she can’t help it.” And then she laughed like she was trapped in a hostage situation, trying to make everyone believe everything was fine.
Minnie rolled her eyes and punched the girl square in the arm. “Stop overreacting.”
“I’m not! I’m just—I’m just making sure we all know it was just a joke—”
“I’m not going to freak out and start fighting again, don’t worry,” Minnie said. And then she hesitantly glanced over at Soyeon, before saying, “And I’m… I’m sorry for what I said the other day.” She shyly scratched at her ear. “I shouldn’t have blown up like that.”
Miyeon knew what she was talking about. She’d heard it from Soojin who’d heard it from Shuhua who’d heard it from Yuqi who’d seen the fight in all of its messy glory. Minnie and Soyeon had fought because Minnie hadn’t wanted to explain their drunken mistake. So at least Miyeon could be comforted with the fact that she wasn’t the only one who’d been brushed off by the tight-lipped girl. Not much of a comfort, but still.
And Soyeon accepted the apology with a smile.
“I tell you guys everything. Maybe not immediately, but when it’s ready. Like this song,” she explained, gesturing to the music sheets around her. “But I realize I’ve been wearing my leader hat too often these days. Yes, I’m your leader, but I hope I’m your friend first.” She looked up and met eyes with each one of them, saving Minnie for last. “So I want to say this to you as your friend.” She nodded resolutely. “I trust you guys. And I hope… when you’re ready… you can trust me too.”
Minnie’s lips trembled in the way they usually did when she was trying not to cry. Soyeon had addressed all of them, but it was clear that the words were meant for Minnie first and foremost. The girl nodded in response, probably not trusting her voice at the moment.
Miyeon felt touched as she watched them apologize to each other.
But more than anything, this just showed her how young and fragile their group bond still was. Still vulnerable to any argument or fight that cropped up, still a work in progress. They’d done well this time to resolve it, but it had been so, so messy. And it still wasn’t completely over—she still had to talk with Minnie after this. But now she knew what she’d say. What she had to say—anything else would just be irresponsible at this stage in their career.
Miyeon would be beyond stupid to try and do something that could potentially harm their group bond.
“Speaking of which, Shuhua and I are dating.”
What?
You can’t just say something like that out of nowhere. Who would just say something like that out of nowhere? Apparently Soojin would. And she just did.
Miyeon looked over at the two girls in question, mouth and eyes open in shock.
“You—what?”
“We wanted to let you know because we’re serious about it,” Soojin continued, unfazed. “We want to give this a real shot and we can’t do that if we keep it a secret, so…” She looked over at Shuhua who gave her a reassuring nod. The youngest smiled and laced their hands together, wanting to show a united front. Soojin smiled in response. “Yeah… Shuhua’s my girlfriend now.”
Their smiles were almost blinding.
“And I’m announcing that my girlfriend is the prettiest, most beautiful girl in the world,” Shuhua cooed right back, kissing the back of Soojin’s hand with not a hint of embarrassment on her face this time.
“W-wow, that’s amazing! I can’t believe it—just wow!” Yuqi said with the worst acting Miyeon had ever heard. “I really had no idea—”
“Stop overreacting,” Soojin said, rolling her eyes. She was too far away to do it, so she nudged Shuhua who punched Yuqi in the arm for her instead.
“Yah!”
“I know Shuhua told you about us already. You’re acting’s terrible.”
“I was just trying to give a good reaction—wow, the things I do for you girls. So ungrateful,” Yuqi sniffed.
Shuhua rubbed her arm in mock apology, but Yuqi just glared back at her.
“I’m actually surprised that Miyeon didn’t figure it out,” Soojin continued, switching her focus to said girl. “Shu left the cards she used to confess on the kitchen counter. I didn’t realize until this morning.”
Miyeon narrowed her eyes at her friend. Soojin knew well and good why Miyeon wouldn’t have noticed something like that. In between all the nights spent deconstructing every possible way her drunken night could’ve gone, she’d barely had the bandwidth for anything other than food and sleep. If Soojin hadn’t noticed the cards, then no way in hell Miyeon would’ve either.
But Soojin knew that. She was calling her out for a different reason.
Did she want Miyeon to come clean about what had happened between her and Minnie? Was that what this was?
“I guess I just didn’t realize,” Miyeon simply said with a smile. “But I’m happy for you guys.”
Minnie rushed to agree. “Me too, by the way. I mean, I’m like genuinely surprised, but I think it’s cute.” She shifted her eyes to her shoes when Miyeon glanced her way. “You make a nice couple.”
“Thanks.”
And then it was only Soyeon remaining.
The leader had a pensive look on her face, taking the time to gather her thoughts. Finally, she looked up at a nervous Shuhua and a slightly tense Soojin. “I think… it doesn’t matter what I think.”
Soojin blinked.
Soyeon continued, “Thank you for telling me, I know what that means for you. And I’m happy that you’re happy. Both of you.”
Soojin raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that as a leader or our friend?”
“Both.”
“Are you going to tell the company?” Shuhua quietly asked next.
Soyeon paused for a long moment.
“Well…” Then her lips curled up into a mischievous smirk. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.”
“Ah! Seriously, don’t scare me like that!” Yuqi shouted out, clutching at her chest like she’d almost had a heart attack.
This caused the rest of them to burst out in laughter, Yuqi soon joining them. It was a nice release after all the serious stuff they’d been talking about. It felt like they’d entered a new phase as a group. One that had them more united than ever.
So of course Minnie chose that moment to speak up.
“Actually, there’s something I have to say too.”
And Miyeon knew, she just knew, what the girl was going to talk about. From the guilty look that had been on her face ever since her apology, Minnie had obviously decided that she wanted to come clean about their drunk night together.
“That night when we were supposed to have that party… and I didn’t come home…”
Except Miyeon couldn’t let her do that. Not when they’d just fixed everything. And especially not before they had a chance to talk it through together first.
“I was actually in my studio—”
She didn’t know what version of the truth Minnie was going to say, but Miyeon couldn’t let her say any of it.
“We were working on a song together,” Miyeon quickly cut in, ignoring the look of surprise on Minnie’s face. “Actually, it was Minnie’s song, but she wanted me to listen to it. And then one song turned into like ten, it was probably a whole album’s worth. We lost track of time and eventually fell asleep.” She plastered on an apologetic look on her face as she spun her tale. “We also may have had some of the alcohol we were supposed to bring to the party… Sorry…”
She knew as she finished up that her little improv had worked. Shuhua and Yuqi nodded along, fully believing what she’d said. Soojin looked… well, not happy, that’s for sure. But she kept quiet which was the most Miyeon could hope for right now. Minnie was staring at her with her brows furrowed, confused. But they could sort that out later—as long as she kept quiet too.
And that left Soyeon. The leader looked a bit hurt, though she tried not to show it.
“You were working on songs? You could’ve just told me that, you know.”
Minnie bit her lip and looked away from Miyeon’s gaze. When she spoke next, it was to Soyeon, and she sounded a bit strained. “I guess… I just wasn’t ready yet.”
“That’s fine, I can understand that.” And then Soyeon let a smile come back to her face. “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll be here for you.”
Words of encouragement came from the other members too, but Miyeon didn’t join in. She knew what words Minnie really wanted to hear from her, but she couldn’t say them now. They’d have to wait.
--
Miyeon pulled her mask up firmly around her nose as she stepped into the convenience store. Minnie walked in behind her, following her all the way to the freezer section.
It was only the two of them now, the others having decided to go straight home after practice.
Miyeon had suggested they get some snacks first before they had their Big Talk. Minnie had agreed and so here they were, not talking and just looking at food that was too cold to eat with the current weather.
Neither of them said anything as they roamed the aisles. If they never left the store, then they’d never have to talk, right? Except, the store owner would probably kick them out for acting too suspicious long before then.
So, Miyeon picked up a random bag of chips and walked up to the cashier. There were two other customers ahead of them, so they had to wait a bit. In complete and utter silence, because god forbid they engage in any dangerous small talk about the weather or anything.
As Miyeon finally got to the front of the line and started ringing up, Minnie plucked a bottle of what looked like gum from a side shelf. She didn’t say anything, but once Miyeon stepped away with her purchase, she paid for the gum, then joined the other girl by the door.
They stepped out of the store together and started walking aimlessly down the sidewalk. And that’s when Minnie finally showed her what she’d bought.
“Do you remember this?” She asked, her voice low and muffled by her mask.
Miyeon looked at the pack, but didn’t recognize it. “It looks like gum.”
“It is. Remember that pack I gave you for Christmas last year?”
“How could I forget?” She smiled as she recalled the memory.
“This is a new flavor. Grape berry splash… I think you’ll like it.”
“Have you tried it yet?”
“No,” Minnie answered, breaking open the seal. She shook the bottle as she looked at the contents. “Looks good though. Hold on.” And then she popped one of them into her mouth under the mask, chewing it thoughtfully. “It’s good, you’ll like it.”
Miyeon nodded, remembering a thousand moments just like this one. Minnie always did look out for her in these little ways. Which is part of what had made her so angry about the way the girl had acted the morning after they got drunk. The Minnie she was used to wouldn’t hurt her like that.
“Maybe later,” Miyeon said, pulling her jacket closer around her body.
They walked, the two of them alone and silent, until they got to the bridge. Traffic was sparse these days, so it felt very calming to just walk and watch the water.
“I owe you an apology,” Minnie said first.
They were leaning against the railing now, backs to the road, letting their voices fall to the river below them.
“That morning… I shouldn’t have brushed you off like that, I just…”
“You didn’t want to talk about it,” Miyeon supplied.
“No. I was scared.”
Miyeon had her arms folded on top of the railing, her hands gripping her jacket for comfort. “And what? You’re not scared now?”
“No… I’m still scared.” Minnie blew out a rough breath behind her mask. Her hoodie hung loosely around her shoulders and didn’t seem nearly as warm as it should’ve been. But the girl didn’t complain. Instead, she fiddled with the bottle of gum in her hand, letting it hang over the railing. “Do you… do you still want to talk about it?”
Miyeon hesitantly nodded.
“Okay, um…” Minnie cleared her throat. “I think we… I think we may have… done something together. Like, um… I had lipstick—all over my mouth, I remember that.” She moved her hand to gesture towards her face, as if Miyeon could ever forget. “So I think… I think we kissed?” She glanced at Miyeon for a split second, but looked away before she could even see her reaction. “I don’t remember much, but I think that part’s kind of… obvious,” she finished.
Miyeon nodded to show she was on the same page. “I think so too.”
“Okay…” It was clear Minnie didn’t really know how to move on from there. So Miyeon decided to help her out.
“What do you think about that? The fact that we kissed.” She didn’t know what kind of answer she wanted, to be honest.
“Um…” Minnie let out a shaky breath, chuckling briefly to try and shake off her nerves. “I think…”
“Also, I’m not going to stop being your friend.” Miyeon felt like she had to make that clear first. It was scary talking about their feelings like this, but maybe it would be easier if they made some ground rules. If they knew that this wasn’t the end of the world or anything. And maybe… maybe she wanted Minnie to make that promise too. That no matter what happened, they’d get through this.
“Well, that’s good to know,” the other girl laughed in obvious relief. “You’re my first friend, you know that? I know I say it all the time, but it’s true.” She tightened her hold on the bottle of gum. “I don’t want to lose that.”
“You won’t.”
“Good…” Minnie nodded. And then she finally admitted, “I wish that we weren’t drunk. I would’ve wanted to remember us doing… something like that.”
Miyeon was pretty sure her ears were on fire right now. She was happy she was wearing a mask to hide the vicious blush that must’ve been on her face. “Something like that?” She echoed.
“Kissing.” She glanced at Miyeon again, but held her gaze for longer this time.
Miyeon was the one who had to look away first.
She hugged herself tighter, feeling her shoulders come up to almost hide her ears. “And… what if we did something more than that?”
“Then I’m sorry,” Minnie said slowly. “That… I’m sorry that we were drunk.”
The implication was clear as day.
Minnie regretted the fact that they were drunk, but not the things that they could’ve done while being drunk. She wanted to remember it. She wanted… to remember it. Miyeon felt like her heart was going to explode. Which made this so, so hard for her.
“Um, what do you think?” Minnie asked back after a long moment.
Miyeon hadn’t thought it would’ve been this hard, but she could barely get the words out. Not with how much blood was rushing by her ears. Not with how many butterflies were flying around in her stomach. Not with how she felt like she could finally catch a glimpse of that romantic love that Soyeon had been talking about. It was so, so hard—but she had to say it.
“I think we should try and forget about what happened,” Miyeon forced out. She made it a point to not look at Minnie as she said it. “It was a mistake getting that drunk and… whatever we did, we can’t take it back. But we can get over it. We should.” She nodded once, biting her lip. “Don’t you think so?”
Minnie didn’t immediately respond and Miyeon couldn’t hide her curiosity any longer. She looked over at the other girl and was surprised to find that she was staring right back at her. Minnie’s brows were furrowed. But not in confusion, more like… more like concentration. Like she was trying to fit a puzzle together, but just needed a bit more time to solve it.
She didn’t say anything and Miyeon felt like she had to keep talking instead. She had to convince her that this was the right thing to do. A drunken mistake didn’t have to affect them like this. They could just agree to leave it all in the past. Their future as a group depended on it.
“We don’t have to do anything,” Miyeon insisted. “Let’s just forget about it—”
Her eyes widened and her words cut off in her throat.
Minnie was kissing her.
Through the fabric of both their masks, she could feel their lips pressing against each other. Firmly, with a sense of purpose. With the intent to convince her that this wasn’t a mistake. Minnie hadn’t closed her eyes either, as if she was saying she didn’t want to miss a single moment of this.
And when she finally pulled away, she stayed close by. So they could hear each other’s breaths coming hard, so they could see the effect they’d had clear as day.
“For the record, I’m not drunk right now,” Minnie whispered. Her eyes stayed focused on Miyeon’s, not hiding away this time. “Are you?”
“… No.”
“Okay.” Minnie nodded. And then she belatedly glanced around them to check if anybody had seen them. And she stepped back to put some distance between them, but they were still so close. But Miyeon had no complaints this time. “Okay, we can forget about what we did when we were drunk,” Minnie agreed with a hint of a smile in her voice. “But I think we just kissed, right?”
“Right,” Miyeon answered, still a bit shell-shocked. She looked back out at the river below them and was powerless to stop the smile that came to her lips. She knew not even the mask she was wearing could hide it from the other girl. “We just kissed.”
“Do you want to talk about it now or later?”
Miyeon could barely breathe right now, so talking was way out of the picture. “… Maybe later?”
“Okay. Later.”
They stayed out on that bridge for a long time after that. And they diligently finished the chips Miyeon had bought at the store, complaining with every bite about how bad it tasted.
And Miyeon tried the gum Minnie had picked out for her.
She ended up almost single-handedly finishing the entire pack.
Minnie was right, she did like it.