Chapter Text
When Changbin turns up at the track again that afternoon, the same fire in his chest that Lee Felix had started only hours earlier was now burning impossibly brighter as the qualifying rounds grew closer and closer with every passing minute. Changbin had spent the last few hours desperately trying to clear his head in the almost suffocating four walls of his hotel room, and those efforts were still continuing now that he was walking down the pedestrian lane adjacent to the pit garages.
It wasn't exactly going well to say the least
Changbin spots a cluster of journalists lingering at the end of the lane way, and immediately side steps, almost stumbling as he redirects his route to avoid the always bloodthirsty F1 media. Changbin sighs as he weaves down a small side alley behind the garages, bustling with crew and mechanics from a slew of teams. Almost all of them look away from Changbin as he passes, and in return the Red Bull driver buries his hands deeper and deeper into the pockets of his team jacket as he scurries towards the back door to his own garage. As soon as his hand comes into contact with the smooth metal door handle Changbin breathes a sigh of relief, pushing it open and slipping inside the building.
Where he is immediately met with Hyunjin and Chan standing side by side, arms cross and murder painted clear as day on their faces under the blinding white lights of the garage. Changbin immediately stumbles backwards, and in a blind panic turns to retreat back through the same door he only just entered "Sorry! Wrong door-" he anxiously chuckles as he reaches for it, but his foolish attempt at an escape is instantly cut short when Hyunjin reaches forwards and grabs the back of his jacket, yanking him back inside. The door shuts with a slam and Changbin very barely manages to stay on his feet as he whips back towards his seething manager. " What did I say?" Hyunjin spits, and Changbins mouth rapidly opens and closes as he falls very short while wracking his brain for some kind of excuse "W-What? No idea what you're talking about?" Changbin stammers out.
Chan sighs, pinching his eyebrows together with his own hand as he looks to the ceiling as if it has all the answers to how to parent the rouge child he has as a driver. Hyunjin takes a step towards Changbin, using the few inches he has over him to lean over him "You raced him….. In a private Ferrari practice…. With not one singular Red Bull crew member in sight" Hyunjin whisper yells, speaking as if he barely believes a word he's saying even as it leaves his mouth. Changbin draws back, rubbing the back of his neck as he shrugs "It was a friendly lap-" Changbin says nonchalantly, and Hyunjin doesn't even let him finish his pathetic attempt at an excuse before throwing his hands in the air and turning on his heel, marching off "I'll let you handle this one, Chan, I simply cannot handle this quantity of bullshit without at least half a bottle of wine in my system" Hyunjin barks as he retreats, and Changbin barely holds a bout of laughter back.
Chan cocks his head at Changbin, raising his eyebrows as he looks at the Red Bull driver with nothing but disbelief twinged with exhaustion "I should fire you, I really should" Chan sighs, and Changbin instantly breaks out his biggest pout "I would really appreciate it if you didn't do that" Changbin whines, making Chan roll his eyes with yet another sigh "Pull that shit again and your seat is Jeongins, got it?" Chan groans as he turns to walk away from Changbin, who deflates almost immediately "Would you believe me if I said it was Minho's idea!" He calls out, and Chan doesn't even bother to turn around as he walks off towards a team of officials clearly waiting for him. Changbin catches movement in his peripheral vision, and turns to see Jisung standing there with grease smeared across his face and one hip jutted out "Minho, really?" He scoffs, and Changbin sneers at him before turning and marching towards his own private room.
As soon as Changbin is inside he dumps his backpack on the ground, his team jacket following closely behind. Changbin pulls off his cap and cards his hand through his hair before putting it back on with a huff. He plots to the end of the narrow room where his gym mat is still spread out and instantly gets started with his pre-race warm ups, stretching and enjoying a few brief minutes of silence as the first qualifying session of the season grows closer and closer. Changbin wouldn't say he's nervous, but anticipation coils around him, tightening and tightening as he counts his own breaths like the hands of a clock ticking. Qualifying was a different breed, nothing like racing….If you screwed up the first round there was no coming back from it, you're out….Stuck at the back of the grid for tomorrow's race. Changbin hears Chan's words in his head
"Start the season strong, set the momentum, and keep the pace"
Keep the pace from last year. The undertones to his team principles words go unsaid, everyone expects Changbin to win back to back….To keep Mercedes at bay….Changbin feels that expectation not like a weight on his shoulders, but instanted like a pair of eyes constantly on him, someone or something lurking just beyond his scope of vision yet every time he whips his head towards it he can never quite catch it.
Changbin is sure no one else must understand the feeling, but then his mind jumps….He thinks of blonde hair and cherry red cars, and the ghost of expectation waiting around every corner.
Changbin sighs, shaking his head as he gets up off of the floor to stretch his arms up towards the ceiling, squeezing his eyes shut as he forces his stiff back to loosen up. Like clockwork, as soon as Changbin has allowed his arms to fall and go limp at his sides, his door is being pulled open. Changbin turns his head slowly towards the door, where Hyunjin stands, looking directly through Changbin as if he couldn't care less "You need to talk to Fox Sports before the first session starts, get your suit on and let's go" Hyunjin says flatly, and Changbin feels his heart sink at the cold tone in his managers voice. Changbin sighs and takes a step towards him, but Hyunjin has already turned to leave "Hyunjin, wait-" Changbin calls out, guilt pooling like ice in his chest. Hyunjin doesn't turn back, but utters as he leaves "Whatever you have to say, can wait" he mutters, and the door shuts yet again.
Changbin swallows a lump of anxiety, but nonetheless does as he was told. He quickly strip's out of his clothes, trying his hardest to ignore the way his hands tremor ever so slightly as he pulls on his skin tight under shirt followed by his race jumpsuit which he zips up all the way. Changbin leans down and grabs his tracing trainers, slipping them on and making for the door with his head down. Changbin pushes the door open, stepping back out into the garage and letting it swing shut behind him. Hyunjin is there waiting, headset worn over his Team Red Bull cap and his pink hair poking out from underneath. Changbin offers his manager a small smile, which isn't returned as Hyunjin pushes off of the wall and walks towards the open garage roller door leading onto the pit lane. Changbin sighs and jogs to catch up to his manager "Hyunjin I'm sorry-" Changbin calls out to him, and Hyunjin only shakes his head, looking straight ahead as he marches forwards.
"The funny thing is you always say sorry, then almost immediately you pull the same or even worse stunt" Hyunjin huffs, and Changbin takes another wide step until he's shoulder to shoulder with his manager "I really am sorry this time, Hyunjin, Felix did a quick lap and I panicked, I know I've probably created another PR disaster for you and I-" Changbin rushes out, but stops when Hyunjin slams on the breaks, coming to a complete stop in the pit lane and looking at Changbin with wide eyes. Changbin startles, stopping as well and looking back at Hyunjin "Hyunjin? What-" Changbin stammers, only to stop again when Hyunjin shakes his head "You think I'm upset because what you did was bad publicity?" Hyunjin breathes out, something simmering in the question that makes Changbin blink rapidly as he claws for the hidden meaning in the question. Changbin comes up short, and ends up just shaking his head "Yes? What else would it-"
Hyunjins eyes soften ever so slightly, and he takes a long step towards Changbin "You could have been seriously hurt" Hyunjin breathes out, and Changbins eyed instantly widen
Oh….
"Cold tires, no warm up, not one shred of protective gear and no one on the head set to spot you or guide you….. Anything could have happened and no one would have been there to-" Hyunjin cuts himself off with a small choked noise, but Changbin hears the end of the sentence hanging in in the space between them
No one would have been there to save you
Changbin sighs, shaking his head as he looks up at his managers, feeling beyond idiotic that it never crossed his mind that Hyunjin was so upset because he was worried. "I'm sorry, Hyunjin, I really mean that….I was pissed off and made a truly stupid choice even by my standards" Changbin sighs, trying to show just how genuine he was about this apology. Hyunjin sighs, turning to keep walking down the pit lane, and Changbin immediately scurries along beside him, searching for any sign that Hyunjin accepts his apology. Eventually Hyunjin sighs, and at least some of the tension seems to leave him "You were there, you saw Jisungs crash…..Don't you ever make me go through something like that again, got it?"
Changbin shivers, and nods, pushing away memories of that day before they can flood his senses. He was still in the mentoring programme then…...A reserve driver watching from the side-lines when he wasn't racing F2….He saw the crash on a hundred monitors and screens in the Red Bull garage, he heard the silence that washed over when every person in the room saw the live footage….Changbin thought for certain he had just witnessed a death….. Hyunjin was Jisungs manager then.
Changbin only remembers one thing over the white noise of shock….Minho was screaming so loud into his headset out on the track - Driving the other Red Bull car - That Changbin could hear his voice through the headset of the mechanic standing next to him.
"Was that Jisung? Someone tell me right fucking now if that was Jisung!"
Chan had lost the ability to speak, to aid his driver in the panic that gripped Minho in that moment.
"Chan! Chan please! Tell me he's okay! Fuck….Fuck! Tell me he's fucking ALIVE!"
Changbin does his absolute best to think about that day as little as possible.
Changbin takes Hyunjins words as a truce if not an apology, and he takes them very much to heart as he follows his manager down the pit lane and towards the line of media that awaits him. Changbin shakes his shoulders to try and rid himself of the tension that resides there, and sticks close to Hyunjin as they approach where the hoard of pocket microphones and cameras that await him. As they approach Changbin spots another driver who is seemingly finishing up with his interviews, a McLaren driver named Johnny who had always made Changbin rather irritated. Johnny smiles and waves at Changbin as he passes, his manager - Taeyong - trotting along behind him with an equally friendly smile on his face. Hyunjin waves back, and Changbin does his best to pass his grimace off as a smile. Hyunjin sighs, side-eyeing Changbin "He has never ever done anything to you, Changbin" Hyunjin scolds him, and Changbins scowl only worsens "People shouldn't be allowed to be that tall, it should be fucking forbidden-"
Hyunjin let's out the longest sigh yet for the day, and turns back towards the media as they approach. Changbin flinches as the first shutter goes off, and Hyunjins hand rests at the centre of his back in the way he always did…..A way for Changbin to ground himself when he gets overwhelmed. Hyunjin addressed the line of reporters with a tight smile, a rehearsed version of politeness "Well then….You all know the drill, one at a time and-"
Hyunjin doesn't even get to finish his sentence before the first journalists calls out, leaning over the barricade and stretching his pocket recorder out towards Changbin "Where do you expect to qualify today, Changbin?" He asks, and Changbin can't help but first "Poll….Duh-" Changbin huffs, trying to pass it off as a scoff as Hyunjin shoots him daggers. The next reporter is quick to jump in "You experienced great success at this track last year, and you seem hopeful for a similar result this year….Would you say it's going to be an easy weekend for you?" She asks, and Hyunjin shoots Changbin yet another warning glance. Changbin sighs, leaning forwards "I am confident yes but I never go into a race expecting it to be easy, the car is in great shape and I'm feeling good but….If you think like that you get blind sighted, I'll be giving it my all I can tell you that" Changbin responds clearly, and the reporter nods as if he said exactly what she wanted him too, and that alone makes Changbins hands ball into fists at his sides.
"Who do you think are you going to be your biggest competitors this year, Changbin?" Another man asks, and Changbin can't help but laugh "Same as last year….Lee Minho in that Mercedes, he's getting a bit dissatisfied with second place, he's going to be on my ass this whole season and I am very much prepared for that….Beyond him I'm keeping my eyes on the Renault boys, Jungkook and Tae, they get faster every race, they'll be dominating the mid-field and chasing that third place-" Changbin responds, but is cut a tad short by the next rapid-fire question. "Lee Minho is a good friend and mentor of yours, that much we all know….If it came down to it do you think you could overtake him, or would your friendship cloud your judgement?" A reporter from further in the back calls out, Changbin scoffs yet again "I think I wouldn't hesitate to overtake my own mother, Minho and I are very close….But we know how to separate our on the track and off the track lives" Changbin responds, smirking as he does.
"You don't see Lee Felix from Ferrari as a threat then?"
Changbin goes ridged, and Hyunjins hand grips at his race suit from behind "We will take no questions about Felix or Ferrari, thank you-" Hyunjin calls out, but Changbin cuts him off "I think Lee Felix should stick to Subaru's, and after today I will be very surprised if he steps foot in a Formula One car again" Changbin snaps, and instantly regrets it when he hears a few small gasps from the peanut gallery. Hyunjin doesn't get a chance to scold him, when another voice joins the fray "Now now, where's your sportsmanship?"
Changbin turns to see Jae standing only a step or two behind, his race suit hanging around his waist and proudly displaying the sponsorship logos plastered to his under-shirt….With Lee Felix standing just behind. Changbin can't help but let out a small gasp when he sees the rookie driver, in his full Ferrari driving suit zipped all the way up, looking directly at Changbin. Changbin diverts his eyes instantly…. Fucking caught staring, fantastic. Hyunjin steps in front of Changbin, clapping his hands to draw the attention of the media "Thank you for your time everyone, but I think that will be it for the day….We'll be happy to take further questions after qualifying…. Probably-"
And just like that Hyunjin pivots on his heel, dragging Changbin with him and all but shoving him away from the line of reporters. Changbins eyes flick to Felix once again, and find the Ferrari driver once again looking directly at him….His honey brown eyes tracking Changbin as he's manhandled by his own fairy of a manager. Changbin instantly feels his cheeks heat, and he shoves Hyunjin away "I do think I can walk on my own thanks very much-" Changbin hisses, flicking his head over his shoulder once again to find Felix still looking at him, but the Ferrari drivers gaze instantly darts away when he meets Changbins eyes. "Fucking freak-" Changbin huffs, but Hyunjin clearly doesn't hear it "If you could kindly stop picking fights in front of the media I would really appreciate that" Hyunjin snaps, making Changbins mouth fall wide open "How the hell was that picking a fight?! Fucking chicken little had a go at me-"
Hyunjin turns around to shoot daggers at Changbin, making him snap his mouth shut "Let's just focus on qualifying, how about that?" Hyunjin hisses, and Changbin nods quickly. His eyes slide to the left, beyond the metal fencing and to the track which seems to be calling out to him…..A pull that never quite leaves him.
A strong start…..We need a strong start
Changbin feels his hands ball into fists
Let's give them something to fucking talk about
…..
Changbin feels the wheel slot into place with a soft 'click', and gives it an experimental wiggle just to make sure it's secured. Mechanics are rushing around where he sits in the car, double and triple checking every fine detail before they send Changbin out for his first round of qualifying. Changbin ducks down ever so slightly, peaking under the halo of metal that surrounds the cockpit through the open slot of his helmet to try and locate Jisung. He's easy enough to find, standing with Chan at the open mouth of the garage, his arms waving as he talks at what is almost certainly a thousand kilometres an hour. Chan is nodding, his eyes narrowed and focused as he listens to their head mechanic.
Qualifying always put Jisung especially on edge, and Changbin will be the first to admit that in a lot of ways qualifying was more dangerous than the race itself. In a race you can see your competitors, see the sparks flying as the car in front of you hugs a curb….Something to chase. In qualifying there is no way to really know who is your closest competition, you're racing a clock ….That fear of slipping back into the cut-off zone without any idea that you had is a feeling that nags at even the most mentally tough of drivers. There's no way to predict the lap time of the driver who went before you, therefore most drivers tend to lose their cool ever so slightly….Push harder, make more brash decisions….Racing the clock.
Changbin tightens his grip on the wheel beneath his black leather gloves…..There's usually less than a second between poll position and tenth place. Changbin must lose himself for a moment, between the thrum of the engine and the buzz of life around him, because when Hyunjins head pops into his field of vision out of nowhere Changbin yelps like a child. Hyunjin instantly giggles, reaching over to slap Changbins visor down "Ready to go?" Hyunjin asks, and Changbin nods, shaking his shoulders as he looks away from his manager. Hyunjin flashes Chan a thumbs up, and like clockwork the mechanics lurch into motion again. The tire warmers are pulled off and the car lowered, and Changbin eases his foot onto the throttle to crawl out of the garage. Hyunjin walks alongside the car until Changbin pulls out onto the pit lane, flashing Chan a thumbs up as he crawls towards the end of the line.
"Radio check, radio check" Hyunjins voice speak clearly into his ear from the small receiver nestled there "Loud and clear, Hyunjin" Changbin responds, his voice muffled from his helmet. "You know the drill, we're gonna do two warm up laps then go for our first timed lap. Don't go for anything show stopping okay? We just need to make the top ten, get to the next round" Hyunjin instructs, and Changbin can't help but scoff "I have a feeling I won't struggle with that, Hyunjin" he chuckles, and hears Hyunjin sigh on the other line "Such arrogance….Drive safe, I fucking mean that" Hyunjin said softly, and the light at the end of the pit lane goes green. Changbin presses his foot flat to the floor, sending the Red Bull screaming down the pit lane "Need I remind you of tire preservation, Changbin" Chans voice joins the fray, and Changbin laughs as he merges onto the track "It's three laps, I think they'll manage"
Chan sighs as Changbin begins to weave, zig-zagging all over the track to warm his tires as fast as possible while still maintaining a comfortable two hundred kilometres an hour. It doesn't take long before Chan speaks up again "Okay so Haas, Williams, Alpha Romeo and Sauber have already done their laps….Nothing much to be concerned with there" Chan says, and Changbin only sighs in acknowledgement…. Oh to be at the bottom of the grid, I simply can't relate. Chan clears his throat and continues to talk "And Racing Point, Renault and McLaren should be finishing up soon so watch out for them, they're all on timed laps" Chan says, and Changbin feels his back tense ever so slightly "Any times you can tell me there, boss?" He asks, his voice tight, and it's a few seconds before Chan responds "Negative, nothings been made public yet" Chan tells him, and Changbin feels the tension build ever so slightly further.
"You're going to be sharing the track with our lovely friends Mercedes and of course….Ferrari" Chan sighs, and Changbin immediately smirks "Playing with the big boys now, Felix" Changbin chuckles, and Hyunjin immediately perks up "Don't you dare start with that shit, Seo Changbin, or so help me god-" Hyunjin hisses, but is cut off by Chan "You're finishing up your second warm up lap now, feeling up for a timed?" Chan asks, and Changbin flexes his hands on the wheel as he approaches the starting line painted onto the asphalt "Bring it" he mutters as he passes over the line.
And the world blurs around him
….
Changbin breezes through the first round, making the cut from nineteen drivers to ten as if it was the easiest step in the world….Yet something twists in his gut when he is pulled back into the garage for a quick tire change before the second round. Chans voice in his ear only moments ago seems to echo "You were fastest by half a second, followed by Minho….Then Felix"
Third
Felix had finished third in his first qualifying lap ever. If Changbin remembers his own first F1 qualifying round correctly, he was thrumming with nerves so violent that he hit a barricade on the first corner and yet somehow finished the lap with his front wing dragging the whole way….He had been beyond ecstatic with a sixth place finish….. Felix finishes third. Changbin tries to push it down to beginners luck, and assure himself that things would be different when Felix shares the track with eighteen other drivers in the race tomorrow. Yet with every second this freak is on the track it becomes harder and harder for Changbin to reduce him to a rookie with luck on his side…..Changbin shrugs it off…. Another person to look down at from the top of the podium, what fucking difference does it make to me….
Changbins internal seething is interrupted by Jisungs voice in his ear "Regret saying he won't make it past today yet, dumbass? He was less than a second off of your time and they only just took his damn training wheels off!" Jisung laughs into the mic, and Changbin whips his head up to see the mechanic proudly beaming next to Hyunjin, having clearly yelled into his manager's microphone just to berate Changbin. Changbin flips him a totally unapologetic middle finger up, and Hyunjin sighs at the interaction "Doesn't he have something better to be doing? Like oh I don't know making me faster" Changbin snaps, making Hyunjin laugh as he shakes his head "And pray-tell what would you have him do? Any complaints about the car?" Hyunjin drawls out, and Changbin stammers to try and think of something "Rear grip!" He blurts, and Hyunjin only cocks his head at him "What about it?" Hyunjin asks, and Changbin splutters yet again "It's….It's shit!" Changbin hisses, a clear lie which Hyunjin doesn't even grace with a response. His manager only sighs and turns away, shaking his hand over his shoulder as he wanders off.
"Get ready for the next lap, princess" Hyunjin sighs, and Changbin honestly surprises himself when he resists the urge to bite back.
Chan's voice follows almost immediately afterwards, and Changbins eyes instantly drift to where the Red Bull team principle sits at the pit wall "They've given us the green light, when you're ready Changbin" Chan instructs, and the engine roars as it re-ignites. It's an unspoken order, and all of the mechanics shuffle back as Changbin eases the car out of the garage for the second time that afternoon. As he passes into the glaring Australian sun, Changbin catches Jisungs eye through his visor….And the unmissable streak of concern that paints his friends face. Changbin swallows the lump that instantly forms in his throat, and pushes away the thought that seems to constantly haunt him; how does Jisung feel every time I leave the garage? Does he think….This is the last time he could see me alive?
Changbin shoves the haze away, pulling out onto the main straight of the pit lane….In almost perfect unison with the cherry red Ferrari a few garages down. Changbin instinctively presses a touch harder on the accelerator, making the car lurch and Chan turn in his swivel-chair from the pit wall and fix Changbin with a firm scowl. Changbin shrinks under his gaze and immediately fixes his eyes back on the end of the pit lane as he races towards the slip lane that connects the pit to the track. Changbin watches as his speed rises from a hundred to two hundred and continues to climb….He can feel the Ferrari on his ass. "Game plan, Chan?" Changbin asks, gritting his teeth as he rockets onto the track "Warm up lap, and ignore that fucking Ferrari, he's trying to intimidate you-" Chan orders cooly, and Changbin nods as he immediately presses into the first corner, zipping through the motion.
The Ferrari doesn't back off
"He's riding in my fucking tail wind" Changbin hisses, and it's Hyunjins voice which calls out "What does it matter? It's a damn practice lap-" Hyunjin snaps, and Changbin tries to force the tension out of his hands where they grip the wheel. Changbin flies into the next set of turns, practiced ease having him just brushing the inside curbs. Chan speaks up in his ear "Going for a timed" he says as the car rockets back towards the starting line, having completed a practice lap in only a tad over a minute if Changbin had to guess. Changbin takes a second to brace himself, and the flash of red in his peripheral vision becomes only a blur as he narrows his focus to the task in hand….. this is the lap that counts.
He presses his foot flat to the floor
….
"And just like that Seo Changbin of Red Bull racing secures himself poll position for tomorrow's Melbourne Grand Prix! A fantastic start to the season for both himself and Red Bull!"
Changbin pulls himself out of the car, tugging his helmet off with a blinding smile on his face. The team embrace him, putting his shoulders and ruffling his hair as they join in the celebration. The reporters voice over the loud speakers becomes almost white noise as the team yell and scream amongst themselves in the Red Bull garage.
"In second is…..And I cannot believe I am even saying this! Is Lee Felix from Ferrari"
It's like someone threw a corpse into the room, and the smiles of the crew instantly dim….None more so than Changbin himself. "He….He beat Minho-" Jisung breathes out, dripping disbelief. Changbin shakes his head as he looks up at the media screen, just in time to see Minhos name slot in below Felixs on the list
"In third is Lee Minho of Mercedes, followed by both Renault cars…."
Changbin forces himself to look away, and his eyes instantly catch Hyunjins, who almost looks sorry for Changbin "It doesn't matter, okay? You got poll-" Hyunjin rushes out, clearly trying to re-assure Changbin. Jisung sighs, shaking his head as he kicks at a piece of rubbed on the polished concrete floor "Rookies aren't supposed to finish second in their first qualifyer….This is trouble" Jisung sighs, and Changbin instantly feels his hands ball into fists "It doesn't mean shit to me" he snaps, and Jisung shoots him a weighted glare "It really should, Changbin...You should be worried-" Jisung hisses, and Changbin barks a dark laugh at his mechanic "Thanks for the vote of confidence in me Jisung, always appreciated" he snaps as he marches off, ignoring the spluttering of his manager as he leaves them both behind.
I have nothing to worry about
Changbin tells himself, and does his best to actually believe it.
….
The Red Bull garage slowly empties out, as the late afternoon bleeds into night….Not that it was all that obvious as the streams of flood lights continue to illuminate the track. Changbin stays in his room, his chin resting on his palm and his race suit half unzipped and bunching at his waist. Changbin doesn't fully realise just how rapidly time has slipped away from him, until he hears his door open and immediately lifts his head to see Minho in his doorway…..His friend is practically drooping where he stands.
Changbin instantly gets to his feet, his eyes wide as he takes in the Mercedes driver "Minho-" he rushes out, and Minho looks pointedly at the floor "Were you just planning to sit here all night? Everyone's been gone for hours, Changbin…..The only reason I'm here was because I saw your damn light on and thought some reporter had broken in" Minho hisses, and Changbin can physically feel the build up of frustration in every syllable his friend utters. Changbin takes a step towards him, yet Minho still shows no sign of lifting his head "You're a better driver than Lee Felix-" Changbin almost whispers, and Minho laughs so brashly it makes Changbin jump "Did you just miss that qualifying session, Changbin? He beat me by three fucking seconds-" Minho barks.
Changbin bends down, catching Minho's firey eyes and holding firm "It doesn't mean anything, it's tomorrow that matters-" Changbin forces out, and Minho shakes his head with what Changbin can only call a dejected smile on his face "I'm falling further and further behind, every season" Minho mumbles, and Changbin feels something ice cold grip his chest "That's bullshit, Minho, everyone has bad days-" Changbin forces out, trying to inject as much weight into his words as possible. Minho scoffs again, turning to march off "Go back to the hotel Changbin, get some damn sleep"
Changbin watches him go, watches the tension in Minho's shoulders double with every step he takes away from Changbin and the air that hangs over the Mercedes driver as he goes…..He reeks of retirement…. And Changbin can't even begin to fathom that as a possibility. The sport was lonely enough as it was, yet a track without Minho on it would be impossibly emptier for Changbin. Changbin hears the side door slam and the waves of silence that wash over him in the second after. Changbin doesn't chase Minho, and tells himself the other driver will simply sleep this episode of frustration off….Yet something sour still lingers in the back of his throat.
Changbin finally peels his jumpsuit all the way off, tossing it aside and tugging on his black track pants….Deciding to just sport his undershirt for the drive back to the hotel. Changbin steps out into the main garage, where his car sits in the centre covered in a dark blue cover, he sighs as he passes it, leaning down to drag his fingers over the silk-like material. Changbin pulls his hand away, not wishing to be tempted to pull the material off and take his frustration out onto the track to do something useful with it…..Changbin wasn't exactly in a rush to see Hyunjin as mad as he was today following his little lap with Felix. Changbin groans as he tugs his headphones out of his pocket, shoving one in one ear then the other-
And he pauses
Changbin can hear a low rumbling, a thrumming sound like-
No fucking way
An engine
Changbin turns and bolts for the garage door, flicking the switch to lift it and standing there jumping from foot to foot as it slowly slides up. As soon as its chest-height Changbin ducks under the groaning metal door, and sprints across the pit lane in the darkness. His heart is hammering in his chest as the roaring gets louder, and he finds a gap between his own teams pit wall and the neighbouring teams where he can see through the fencing. Changbin climbs up the concrete barrier with one push, and grips the wire between his hands as he peers down the now almost pitch black track….The floodlights having been long turned off for the night.
And he sees red
A Ferrari rockets past him, hurdling down the straight and into the first corner of the illustrious Melbourne track. Changbin is breathless as he watches it pass, less than a blink between being visible to having disappeared. Changbin can't help but gawk, rapidly blinking as he tries to comprehend what he just saw…..Changbin jumps back off of the barrier, and immediately its the asphalt, running as fast as he can down the pit lane until it opens up onto the merging strip, where cars re-join the track after pit stops. Changbin turns and runs across the grass, stepping out onto the track in the pitch black, peering towards the other end of the straight in search of the car.
Changbin hears the roaring return, and his heart hammers in his chest as he sees a flicker of red again. He immediately straightens up, raises his hands in the air and frantically waves them " Hey! You can't be driving after dark you're going to get yourself killed!" Changbin screams, pure disbelief in every word. The roaring of the engine becomes so loud Changbin can barely here himself think, and he tells himself surely this fucking idiot will hit the breaks soon-
And then he realises.
It's very very likely the driver cannot see him.
Changbin gasps and dives to the side only second before the car rockets past, and instantly coughs from the impact of hitting the concrete. Changbin is up on his knees in only seconds however, pure venom in his veins. The feeling only worsens when he hears the shrieking of brake pads…..And looks up to see the Ferrari grinding to a halt, skidding to the left and only just missing the barricade. Changbin is on his feet in seconds, marching towards the cherry red car feeling every fibre of his being tense. The driver clambers out, gloved hands reach up and tug off their helmet.
Changbin sees a mop of blonde hair.
He's reached Lee Felix before the Ferrari driver can fully turn around, and takes an almost grotesque amount of pleasure watching the rookie drivers eyes blow wide as Changbin takes two fist fulls of his obnoxious red jumpsuit and shoves him into the concrete barrier with a thud. Felix yelps and his hands instantly come up to grip Changbins wrists where his own are clutching at Felix's chest, and even in the blackness Changbin can see the flicker of fear that passes the rookies eyes "What the hell-" Felix hisses, and Changbin presses him ever so slightly harder against the barricade "I don't know if you noticed but F1 cars aren't fitted with headlights" Changbin growls at the Ferrari drivers, feeling his blood boil at the way he smirks.
"Oh I noticed" he huffs, and Changbin is proud he resists the urge to throw the boy to the ground "You could have hit me-" Changbin snaps, and Felix cocks his head with a sly smile "You shouldn't have been on the track-" Felix sighs, as if this altercation bores him, Changbin leans ever so slightly closer "Neither should you, youngblood" Changbin seethes, making Felix laugh "I didn't take you for a stickler for the rules, Changbin….What's got you so riled up tonight?" Felix chuckles, clearly prodding at the live wire that was Seo Changbin in that very moment.
Changbin does not take the bait, and immediately releases Felix, turning to march away with his hands balled into fists "Next time I won't attempt to save your sorry excuse for a life-" Changbin hisses, and hears Felix sighs again "Didn't you say something very similar yesterday?" He calls out….Changbin struggles to hold his tongue. Changbin keeps walking, keeping his head down "No one will be there to help you tomorrow, Felix, just you and a track full of drivers who would gladly shove you and your Ferrari into a shoulder to secure themselves one fucking point " Changbin snaps back….Felix doesn't respond for a few seconds, Changbin slows his pace without releasing it.
"You would do that would you, Changbin?" He calls out, and Changbin barely manages to stop himself from tripping "After that crash, everyone says you would rather lose a race then bump another car-" Felix continues to call out, more curiosity then venom in his tone….Yet the words sting all the same, and Changbin picks his pace back up "You don't know a goddamn thing about me, neither does any of those airheads you call team-mates" Changbin bites back
"What the fuck is it about me that has you so worked up, Changbin? I really am so curious-"
I see so many of my past mistakes in you, Lee Felix
Changbin does not turn around.