Chapter Text
Anakin looked up from his homework to steal a glance at Obi-Wan, who’d been quietly reading at his console for the past hour. They’d been sitting in companionable silence, both occupied with their respective tasks. Anakin knew his master didn’t especially appreciate interruptions, but he was almost done with his own work and he just needed to make sure of something.
“Master - I don’t have to help at the infirmary today. You said three days, right?”
“Hm? Oh, yes,” Obi-Wan answered, still distracted by the holo projection of words in front of him.
Smiling, Anakin stood up and walked to Obi-Wan’s chair.
“Does that mean…” he trailed off, not wanting to ask and hoping Obi-Wan would understand what he meant. But Obi-Wan still wasn’t looking at him.
“What is it, Anakin? Please say what you mean.”
“Do I get my lightsaber back?” Anakin asked, and held his breath.
Obi-Wan did turn to look at him now. “I’ll have to think about it.”
Anakin exhaled. This was the answer he’d feared. He felt like shouting in frustration, but that would surely not convince Obi-Wan to give him back his weapon. He chose his words carefully. “I..I promise I learned my lesson. I’ll be better.”
“I’m glad, Anakin, but I can’t give it back to you lightly. You dishonored it.”
“But-”
Obi-Wan gave him a sharp, quelling look. He’d been pretty grumpy about that word lately, come to think about it. Anakin fell quiet, fixing his master with a pleading gaze.
“I need to get these reports to the Council,” Obi-Wan said. “We can talk about it later. For now, please go and occupy yourself somehow.” He turned back toward his work.
“I’ve been punished enough,” Anakin muttered, not moving.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Obi-Wan said. “I am not going to ask you again - please find something to do, or you can have another day of work in the infirmary.”
Anakin stood in place pouting for as long as he dared, before turning and stomping out of the apartment. It wasn’t fair. He didn't care what Obi-Wan said - he still thought he’d been punished enough, and besides, he was sorry. What more did Obi-Wan want from him?
But it wasn’t long before the realization of his sudden freedom dawned on him. He hadn’t had any real recreation time in a few days, since he’d gotten in trouble. He’d been so busy with extra meditations and infirmary work Obi-Wan had assigned him as punishment for the sparring incident, plus his regular classwork of course.
He decided to head down to the flying simulators, hoping that there wouldn’t be a wait. Often students came in waves as they prepared for various piloting exams. A few, like him, used the pods for recreation, but you weren't supposed to take too long. Anakin sometimes stayed for hours, if no one noticed.
Since he had some time he passed by the training halls to see if there were any interesting matches going on. But before he could see, he heard a voice behind him call his name.
Ladon was coming toward him, grinning.
“Is your shoulder better?” Anakin asked. He was surprised to see the other boy here so soon.
“Almost healed,” Ladon said. Anakin saw his eyes move to his waist, to the place on his belt where his lightsaber usually hung. He winced in sympathy. “You know when you’ll get it back?”
Anakin shook his head. It stung that Ladon had noticed. It reminded him that other Jedi probably did as well, and knew that Anakin was in disgrace. He felt suddenly naked.
“Did you get in trouble?” Anakin asked, eager to get the attention off of himself.
Ladon gave a short laugh. “Not really. My master was cross at first but when she took a look at that hole you put in my shoulder I think she just felt sorry for me.”
“Bet it’ll teach you not to spar with Skywaker again,” came a voice from behind them. Vasti Sarathi and a few of his friends had emerged from one of the salles. “Unless you like an element of danger.” He looked at Anakin with an unpleasant smile. “It’s hard to believe that you of all people don’t know how to tune down your blade properly.”
Anakin clenched his fists by his sides, glaring at the older boy. Vasti had always given him trouble. He liked winding him up, seeing how far he could push him. Somehow, he always seemed to know the exact things to get Anakin almost as angry as he could get.
“It was an accident,” Ladon said evenly. “He’s still little, you know. Give him a break.”
Little ? Anakin whipped his head around to stare at Ladon. It had been an accident, yes, but not because Anakin was little. Was that really what Ladon had thought of him?
“You’re right about that. He was too little to be taken as a padawan,” Vasti snorted. “He belongs in the creche.”
“The creche wouldn’t take him,” sniggered Vasti’s friend Balt. “Too old and wild.”
“Well, Master Kenobi seems fine with playing crechemaster for him,” Vasti said. “I bet he loves that.”
Anakin heard the blood rushing in his ears. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to fight a fellow apprentice, but now all he could think of doing was grabbing Vasti and bashing his head into the hard floor.
“I hate you,” Anakin heard himself say. Vasti’s grin widened. Anakin felt his composure hanging on by a thread. He was a Jedi now, not a slave. Jedi didn’t fight each other. But he was afraid if Vasti said one more cruel word he wouldn’t be able to hold it back anymore.
But Vasti didn’t have a chance to say anything. Before even he could react, Ladon dashed forward and swung his fist smartly into the other boy’s ear. Vasti staggered back, dazed and shocked. Anakin gaped openly, his anger forgotten.
Vasti put his hand to his ear and looked at Ladon as if planning his next move.
“Let’s go,” Balt said quietly. “It’s not worth a fight.”
Vasti nodded slowly, fixing Ladon with an icy stare.
“You...hit him,” Anakin said to Ladon as he watched the boys move down the hall.
Ladon shook out his hand. “Yes. I suppose I shouldn’t have. Better me than you, though. I don’t have the reputation you do.” He smiled at Anakin, a bit ruefully. “He wanted you to try and hit him, you know. You shouldn’t let them get you so worked up.”
“I know,” sighed Anakin. Ladon sounded a lot like Obi-Wan. He was a little miffed that Ladon seemed to think he needed protecting, that he couldn’t handle himself or his feelings. But he decided he’d try and put the incident behind him. “Want to go down to the flying sims with me?” He asked. He’d only ever gone alone, but it occurred to him that it might be fun to have a friend with him.
Ladon shook his head. “Sorry, I can’t. I have to go to the Archives and do some research for my master.”
“Okay. Maybe another time,” Anakin said, trying to hide his disappointment.
“See you around,” Ladon said.
“Yeah.”
It was early afternoon when Obi-Wan finished compiling his reports for the Council and decided to take a few minutes to himself to go walk in the gardens. Earlier, when he’d been trying to work, he hadn’t given much thought to how his apprentice might spend his time, but now he wondered where Anakin had gotten off to. He’d found it was usually not a good idea to give the boy too much unstructured time - trouble seemed to find him very quickly.
I have to learn to trust him. And he has to learn to manage himself well. I’m not a crechemaster, Obi-Wan thought.
At least Anakin had taken his recent discipline better than he’d expected - to his relief. He certainly hoped that it meant they wouldn’t have to repeat it anytime soon, though he wasn’t naive enough to believe Anakin wouldn't continue to test the limits (and his master’s patience).
His hand went to the lightsaber hilt hanging on his right side - Anakin’s. He’d been carrying it on his belt for a few days now, but rather than feeling familiar it was starting to feel strange and heavy. Like it didn’t want to be with him.
Maybe it’s a sign, he thought.
He was shaken out of his thoughts when he heard Anakin’s name uttered by a child sitting with a small group beside a nearby reflection pond.
“Did you hear how he hit Vasti?” The girl said. “Just a couple hours ago.”
The children murmured with shock, not bothering to hide a wicked glee.
“Vasti has a big mouth,” said another. “He probably deserved it.”
The younglings began to chatter louder and giggle a bit at the juicy news. Obi-Wan walked quickly down the path to find a quieter place to think.
Oh Anakin...
He certainly couldn’t give him back his lightsaber now or anytime soon - not with this behavior. Couldn't the boy make it through the whole week without getting into trouble? They’d talked about fighting, and more than once. Anakin should know better by now. What was it going to take for him to calm down? Boys like Vasti could be unkind and a pain to deal with, but they could also teach one patience in their crude way. He’d tried to explain this to Anakin, apparently to no avail.
He reached for his commlink and linked to Anakin. It took nearly a half a minute before the boy picked up.
Probably feeling guilty , Obi-Wan thought. Well, he should .
“Master?” Came Anakin’s voice through the connection.
“Anakin, we need to talk. Get yourself up to my quarters right now. I’ll meet you there soon.”
There was a silence on the other end.
“Did you hear me?” Obi-Wan asked, more sternly.
“Yes, Master,” came the reluctant reply.
“Good.” Obi-Wan closed the connection.
When Anakin entered Obi-Wan’s quarters, they were dark and empty, the blinds drawn over the large windows. Anakin went over to them and opened the blinds up all the way. He didn’t know why Obi-Wan loved keeping them so shut when he could look out over the towers of Coruscant and all the ships and vehicles moving by. Besides, the room seemed so much more cheerful when it was full of light. Anakin needed it to feel cheerful right now.
He sat down on one of Obi-Wan’s meditation seats and tried to meditate, mulling over why his master might have sounded so grouchy with him over the commlink. He hadn’t done anything - had he? The worst thing he’d done was tell Vasti he hated him. It had not been a very Jedi-like thing to say, but was it bad enough to get in trouble for?
The door opened and Anakin looked up to see a very serious Obi-Wan enter, and he wasted no time in getting to the point.
“Anakin, did you get into a fight this afternoon?” He said, coming to stand over the boy.
Anakin bit his lip, contemplating how to answer. “Well...sort of I guess.”
“Well, did you or didn’t you?” Obi-Wan snapped.
“I didn’t start it, though.”
Obi-Wan rubbed at his temple the way he always did when trying to compose himself. When Anakin was testing him. “Have we not been over this? Anakin, sooner or later the Council is going to take note of you attacking other students and -”
“I didn’t attack anyone!” Anakin exclaimed, hurt. Why did Obi-Wan think that? “What are you talking about, Master? Who told you that?”
Obi-Wan looked startled at the outburst, then began to understand. “You didn’t hit Vasti. But someone did?”
Anakin nodded.
“Who?”
Anakin looked away, hesitant. He might have been a lot of things, but he wasn’t a snitch. Ladon didn’t deserve it, after he’d been so kind.
“All right. You don’t have to tell me.” Obi-Wan sighed, coming to sit on the seat opposite his apprentice. “It was very wrong for me to assume like I did. Very foolish. I am sorry.”
Anakin didn’t look at him. A part of him wanted to stay hurt, angry. Let Obi-Wan be the one to feel chastised, for once. He deserved it.
It was Obi-Wan’s hand on his knee that finally made him look up.
“I’m afraid you have a master who is still very much figuring things out. And who makes mistakes, sometimes.”
Anakin shrugged, softening. “Well, you don’t make too many mistakes. And I wouldn’t want anyone else for a master.” He thought for a moment. “But I do wish I could have my lightsaber back.”
Obi-Wan smiled, and to Anakin delight, took the weapon off his belt and handed it out toward him. “Yes. I do believe it wants to return to you as well.”
“Thank you, Master.” Anakin took the hilt as if receiving a precious gift, and clipped it back to his belt in its rightful place. He felt suddenly a million times better.
“You’re welcome, little one.”
“Master...I’m really not all that little, am I?” Anakin asked, feeling emboldened now.
“You won’t be for much longer, that’s for certain,” Obi-Wan said.
“But I’m not too little to be a padawan?”
Obi-Wan looked thoughtful for a moment. “No, my little padawan,” he said. “Everything is as it should be.”
For the moment, Anakin felt that he was right.