Chapter Text
Fall like those dry leaves. Just falling without strength, my love. Your heart just goes far away. I can’t catch you. I can’t catch you anymore, anymore. I can’t hold onto you, yeah.
~~~
Time is a strange thing. It’s been almost a month since Yoongi had spoken to Jimin, and yet, it didn’t feel that way. Honestly, it felt as if just yesterday that Yoongi’s entire facade of a world had come crashing down. He alone has to pick up the pieces, but, at this point, he wonders if that is even possible. When everything falls apart around you, how do you salvage what’s left?
Yoongi sits at his desk, staring aimlessly at one of the walls of his office. What can he even do at this point? Trying to talk to Jimin is basically pointless, after what happened. The image of Jimin’s terrified eyes staring at him as he made himself as small as possible in his possible bed will never leave the elder’s mind. What even is there for him to say? Jimin-ah, I’m sorry I’ve been lying to you for as long as we’ve been together and almost got you killed? Yeah, sure, that’ll definitely hold up in court. He could apologize for the rest of his life and still never even scratch the surface of forgiveness. And… honestly? He doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. Not in the slightest.
On top of that, he has the Chois to worry about. They said they’d get him back, and when it comes to threats, their family has never not followed through. They might not be the biggest or most powerful family in Seoul, but they’ve always had a horrifying reputation of an eye for an eye. That was actually one of the reasons why Yoongi had kept them under his thumb for so long. How fitting for it to come back and bite him in the ass.
There aren’t many directions to go from here. Anyone can see that. One wrong move in this situation and it ends with both Yoongi and Jimin dead. It takes everything in him for the black-haired man to not just reach up and pull out his own hair in stress. It seems like he has absolutely no options, completely backed into a corner. Seokjin hasn’t managed to find anything on what the Chois have been up to despite repeated desperate searches for even the slightest bit of information. Apparently, they decided to threaten him and then fuck off. Lovely.
Yoongi’s eyes drift from his coveted spot on the wall to the picture frame on his desk, the same picture that’s sat in the exact same corner for two years. “Hoseok-ah,” He whispers. “What the fuck do I do?”
“Hyung, can I ask you something?” Hoseok’s eyes were brightly shining with so much optimism it was almost painful for Yoongi to look at. He’d always been so hopeful, so full of joy. Yoongi hadn’t experienced either of those things in god knows how long.
“Of course.”
“Do you believe in love?”
Yoongi looked back at his dongsaeng with wide, confused eyes, hesitating to reply. “...is there some reason why you think I might not?”
Hoseok shrugged, “Not really. I’ve just never seen you with anyone, hyung. Like…” He stopped, humming to himself in thought before continuing. “For as long as I’ve known you, hyung, you’ve never told me about ever liking anyone. I always figured it was because you’re just really quiet and not very open with other people, but I guess I’m just curious.”
“Well…” Yoongi began before stopping himself. He frowned, trying to think of a way to answer the question that didn’t sound completely stupid. “I do believe in love, but… I guess I also believe that I’m unlovable.”
Hoseok’s jaw dropped, clearly stunned. “Why do you think that, hyung?”
Now that was a loaded question. “It’s hard to explain, Hoseok-ah. I just am.”
“That’s not true at all!” The younger vehemently declared. “I love you, hyung. So… you’re wrong!!”
Yoongi desperately tried to stop himself from bursting into laughter. There was one question he always wanted to ask when Hoseok said that to him. Do you love me… or your perception of me? There was no way in hell that Hoseok could ever love the real him. It’s just not possible. No one in his life has loved Yoongi for who he actually was, and it’s likely no one ever will. It’s always been some idea of who others thought him to be. “I’m wrong, huh?” He asked, almost laughing out loud at the irony of it all.
“YES!!” Hoseok practically shouted, heart-shaped lips forming into a prominent pout. “You’re one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met. How could anyone not love you?”
It’s pretty simple honestly. No one loves a murderer. “I’m an inspiring person?”
“Of course, hyung.” The younger began rubbing his hands together nervously, almost as if he didn’t want to continue. “It’s just… well… when your mom died, you didn’t let that bring you down. I remember how you shut down for a while after her funeral. You picked yourself back up though and now you're really successful. That’s incredible. I wish I could have that kind of strength.”
Strength? Was it really strength or was it fear of being targeted by another mob family? “Hobi-yah, you said I was successful right?” Yoongi asked to which Hoseok nodded. “Okay then, what am I successful at?”
The younger stared at him as if he’d just asked him what zero divided by zero was.“What are you talking about, hyung? You’ve told me so many times you’re the director at a real estate company.” He laughed at the apparent insanity of Yoongi’s question. “Have you been lying to me this entire time or something?”
“Maybe…”
Hoseok’s laughter grew louder and louder, the man squatting down closer to the floor for balance as his entire body shook. “Hyung, you’re fucking hilarious. You’re a horrible liar!”
“Am I now?” Yoongi asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” The younger managed to get out between laughs. “Remember my birthday last year when I said I wanted that one pair of nice ass Balenciagas last year? I came over to your place one day and literally saw the box for them sitting in your closet, and you still tried to deny it. You can’t lie to save your life.”
“You’re one to talk. I’m a professional bullshitter.”
“A self-appointed one, but sure.”
Yoongi sighed. He was never going to get anywhere. “I’m just saying, Hobi-yah. You don’t really know me. It’s almost impossible for someone to completely know another person.”
Hoseok stood up, looking Yoongi right in the eye with a smile. “Okay then. If you say so. I hope you find someone who loves you for you, hyung. That’s my one wish for you.”
Someone who loves me for me… Yoongi’s eyes land on his top desk drawer, the place where he’d tucked the photo of Jimin he usually also kept on his desk. He’d hidden it for his own sanity, or maybe misery is the more correct word. Me too, Hoseok-ah. Me too.
*****
“Jiminie?” Taehyung’s voice calls gently from the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
Jimin sighs from his spot lying down on his best friend’s couch. “No.”
Taehyung emerges from the kitchen. “Are you sure?” He sits down beside Jimin, softly carding his fingers through the elder’s blonde hair. “It’s past lunchtime. You need to eat something.”
The blonde looks up, finding Taehyung staring back with worried eyes. “But I’m really not hungry, Taehyungie.” It wasn’t a lie. For Jimin, it’s been difficult to stomach anything since he’d left the hospital.
“Something small at least?” The younger asks with a slight pout that has Jimin caving immediately.
“Okay, fine, just something small.”
Taehyung switches to gently scratching Jimin’s scalp, and the elder closes his eyes at the soothing sensation. “Okay, I can make you some nurungji. Is that okay?”
Jimin nods. He feels a wave of immense appreciation for his best friend, especially given the situation. Taehyung had taken him with open arms, no questions asked. Jimin still hasn’t actually told him what had happened with Yoongi. “Do you need help?” He asks, moving to get off the couch if needed.
The younger waves him off, gently pushing Jimin back into his original spot on the couch. “Nah, I got it. My mom used to make it for me all the time when I was little, so I asked her how to make it the last time I went home.” He flashes his friend his signature boxy smile. “I think it’s safe to say I’m a master at it.”
The blonde lets out the tiniest of laughs. God knows how long it’s been since he’s genuinely done so. “Okay, if you’re sure. Please don’t burn your apartment down. Then we both won’t have anywhere to go.” Jimin prays to every god above that his best friend actually isn’t bullshitting about knowing what he was doing. Unfortunately, given the amount of takeout the younger orders for himself, there’s a good chance he is.
Taehyung, feigning offense, places a hand over his heart like he’d just been personally insulted. “I’ve made nurungji plenty of times for myself. I’ve got this.” The blonde sends him off with a smile, leaving himself alone with his thoughts yet again.
Time is a strange thing. He hasn’t exactly been counting how many days it’s been, but Jimin knows it’s been at least a month. Truth be told, it’s difficult for him to even attempt to process what happened. The loving boyfriend he’s been dating for over two years was a notorious mob boss. Who would’ve thought? Maybe a required background check of a Google search should be required for all potential significant others since that’s all it took for Jimin to find out who Yoongi actually was. There wasn’t too much information on him though, online at least, just a few police reports naming him as heavily wanted by the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency.
The entire situation is still so hard for Jimin to think about trying to wrap his mind around it. Had their entire relationship been a lie? In a way, yes. Yoongi had been lying to him from the start. Jimin’s mind goes back to the first time they ever met, that fateful day in the emergency room. The blonde had been stupid and sprained his ankle at dance practice, but it led him to meet the love of his life… or so he had thought. He’d always wondered why Yoongi had looked like he’d gotten the shit beat out of him way back when they’d first met. He remembered the elder telling him about getting in a fight with someone, but, to be honest, he hadn’t really believed him. Yoongi was quite small, and not very intimidating unless he hit you with a hard stare. He couldn’t even imagine him getting in a fight with anyone. However, he couldn’t fathom Yoongi ever killing anyone either but… reality is very different from imagination.
They haven’t even broken up yet, given the fact that they also haven’t talked to each other in a month. Jimin had spent weeks questioning whether or not a break-up was what he wanted, but, in the end, he couldn’t figure out how their relationship could come back from what happened. How could he ever be with Yoongi again without wondering if he’s lying to him? His trust has been completely destroyed, so much so that he doesn’t ever see it being possible again. Where would they even go from here? Even though he has no definitive proof of it, he knows Yoongi has killed people before. He’s a criminal, the head of a massive crime family. There’s no way he hasn’t committed murder. Why was Yoongi even with him in the first place? They’re complete opposites, from completely different lifestyles. Jimin could never see himself being indoctrinated into the mafia way of life, even if he did have the boss behind him for protection. It’s just not possible. He can’t completely change who he is, even if it was for love. God knows when he’ll see Yoongi again, he doesn’t even know what he’ll do when that happens, but he knows he can’t give up everything for him… and that’s if he can bring himself to trust Yoongi again.
“Jiminie!” Taehyung’s deep voice calls from the kitchen. “Food’s ready!” The blonde makes a move again to leave his spot on the couch when Taehyung rushes in with two plates filled with steaming scorched rice. “No, no, don’t move. I’m bringing it to you.”
“I’m not crippled, Taehyung. I could’ve gotten up and gotten it myself.” Jimin says, accepting the plate with a sigh.
“I never said you were crippled, but you’re heartbroken. That’s close enough.”
Jimin finds himself staring off at one of Taehyung’s many paintings his friend has decorating the walls of his apartment. “Am I heartbroken?”
Taehyung stops with a piece of nurungji halfway to his mouth. “I don’t know. Are you?”
For the first time in weeks, Jimin seriously considers that specific question. “I don’t know. Am I?” Honestly, he hasn’t known how to feel after everything. He should be angry, furious, and much more than that but, instead, he just feels… empty.
“Well… you never told me exactly what happened,” Taehyung says, pushing the food he’d made around on his plate in circles distractedly. “I didn’t want to push you to talk about it until you were ready.”
Jimin sighs, “To be completely honest, I don’t even know what happened.”
“What do you mean? Didn’t you guys break up?”
“Uh… no, not really.” Jimin pauses, thinking over his next words very carefully. Taehyung has been his best friend, his platonic soulmate, for years now, and yet the elder can’t bring himself to tell him the whole truth. “We just… got into a fight. I yelled at Yoongi to leave, and he did. We haven’t talked to each other since.” He reaches for a piece of nurungji as a distraction, letting out a pleased hum and the sweet flavor and crunch as he bites into it.
Taehyung stares at Jimin, clearly shocked. “You haven’t talked to him for a month? Not even texted or called?” Jimin shakes his head. “Well, holy shit, don’t you think you should at least do that?”
Jimin sighs, “I mean, yeah, probably. I know we need to talk about what happened but it’s just… hard to see myself talking to him again. I guess I’m not ready.”
The younger closes the distance between them after carefully setting down both plates of food, wrapping an arm tightly around the elder for comfort. “That’s okay, Jiminie. You’ll be ready whenever you’re ready.”
Jimin hugs him back despite the never-ending worries plaguing his mind. What if I never am though?
*****
Calling together everyone who works under him is a lot more work than Yoongi had initially anticipated. He’d managed to pull it off though somehow. He’s seated towards the front of the massive ballroom in their base of operations, surrounded by numerous, blending together conversations. There has to be over a hundred people here that he’s about to speak to. His usual anxiety surrounding massive crowds attacks him like always, almost making him shrink in on himself in his seat. God, he was never meant to be a mob boss. It’s too fucking nerve-wracking. Right before he can go through with his recede into his turtle shell plan, his phone buzzes in his pocket with an alarm, telling him it’s one o’clock now. Fuck, here goes nothing.
He stands from his seat, desperately trying not to make eye contact with anyone he passes on his way to the podium. The room slowly grows quiet as he taps the microphone gently to see that it’s on. Yoongi inhales and exhales slowly. He’s about to change everything, all on his own. For once, he hadn’t asked Namjoon and Seokjin for advice. This is all him. God knows they wouldn’t approve if they knew what he was about to do.
The second Yoongi stops behind the podium, he reaches forward and gives the microphone a gentle tap. Throughout the room, the noise he made reverberates, immediately capturing everyone who wasn’t already paying attention. From where he stands, he can see the round, white tables surrounded by people. God, so many people. He clears his throat for a second before speaking.
“Hi, everyone. I’m not sure if you all know who I am, but I’m Min Yoongi, head of the Min family. Technically speaking, I’m everyone’s in this room’s boss.” His hand flies to the back of his hair out of nerves. “For now at least.” He sees a few eyebrows raise and other confused looks throughout the crowd, but he sucks in a deep breath before continuing. This is it. This is where it all changes.
“I’ve decided on dissolving the Min family, effective as soon as this meeting ends.” Immediately, the room fills with idle chatter. So many confused voices join together as questions are asked to tablemates.
Yoongi raises a hand in an attempt to regain everyone’s attention. “It’s for strictly personal reasons. I’ve enjoyed my time with each of you.” He forces himself to smile, hoping to God it doesn’t look like a grimace. “Also, if anyone wants to take my place and keep the Min family running, feel free. You can rename it as you please. It’s no longer my business.” He grips the edges of the podium tightly, impressed that he’s managed to make it so far. Unless there are any questions, everyone’s free to go.” With that, he leaves the podium, headed back towards his office to begin packing things up.”
A hand wraps around his arm, completely stopping him in his tracks. “Hyung.”
“Yes?” Yoongi turns around to find Jungkook holding onto him to keep him rooted in place.
“Why are you doing this?” Jungkook looks at him with wide, sad eyes, as if his entire world has just been crushed.
“I said it was for personal reasons.” He attempts to break free from the younger’s tight grip on his arm, but it was pointless.
“Hyung, I’ve been working for you for years now. You don’t trust me enough to tell me?”
Yoongi sighs, turning to fully face the younger boy. “You disappeared for an entire month, Jungkook-ah. I didn’t even think you were coming today.”
Jungkook lets him go, face falling. “I got scared, hyung. I tried my best to just… lay low and drop off the grid. I’ve never had something like that happen on the job before.”
“I get it.” The elder says, “I just wish you had said something before you disappeared. I was really worried about you. So was Seokjin-hyung.”
At the mention of the police officer’s name, the younger glances around the room wildly. “Where is Seokjinnie-hyung by the way? I’m surprised he let you do this.” He turns back to Yoongi. “Do you really think it’s possible to just… dissolve the entire crime family like that?” It shouldn’t be, but since Yoongi’s the boss… he’s going to make it possible.
Again, Yoongi finds his hand flying to grip his hair out of nervousness. Maybe one of these days he’ll actually end up pulling it out. “He doesn’t know I’m doing this. He’d fucking kill me if he found out.”
Jungkook stares at him with wide, confused eyes, almost as if Yoongi’s managed to grow himself another head or an extra limb. “What do you mean he doesn’t know? I thought you already asked him for advice since he’s part of law enforcement.”
“I did. He’s always been the person I’d ask for help, and he always kept our business out of the eyes of his work. If I told him that I’m giving it all up though, there’s no way he’d let me do it.”
“So… what are you going to do?”
“You know the Chois are on my ass after what happened, right?” Yoongi asks.
The younger nods, “I didn’t necessarily know, but I figured.”
“Right so… there’s them and the police after me. I don’t have too many options so I decided on leaving the country.”
Three… two… one… “WHAT??”
Yoongi cringes inward at the sound of Jungkook’s scream echoing throughout the room. Thank God no one stayed behind to hear it. “I’m leaving the country, Jungkook-ah. It’s already been decided. Please don’t try and convince me otherwise.”
“So that’s why you’re dissolving the family?”
The black-haired man nods. “I’m not going to be around anymore to run things. To be honest, it was never really my thing anyway. I took over the family as a way to avenge my mother, but after I took out the people who murdered her I just… felt kinda empty. My heart has been in anything since then. Something changed. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Jungkook nods, “A few years ago, if a group under us pulled what the Chois did, you would have killed them all yourself within five minutes of their betrayal. Not so much anymore.” The smile he offers is nothing but melancholy. “You’ve definitely changed, hyung. I used to wonder why for a while, but I think I know. Maybe it’s for the better.”
Yoongi smiles back. No matter how small it is, he hopes it conveys his feelings to the younger. “Sometimes I really wish I hadn’t dragged you into this damn mess, Kook-ah.” He scratches at the back of his head with a tiny laugh. “There are so many people I should apologize to, but I don’t have time. God, do I wish I did though.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I made my own decisions that led me here.” Jungkook sighs, “When are you leaving?”
“In three days.” Yoongi groans, remembering how much he has to get done in such a small time frame. “I have so much shit to get done by then.”
“Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook asks, voice suddenly quiet and sad. He can’t look Yoongi in the eyes as his own begin to water. “Am I going to see you again?”
The elder rests a hand on the younger’s shoulder, grateful that the action makes the younger look up at him. He can’t lie. There’s no point in it. “I really don’t know, Jungkook-ah. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to come back to South Korea.” He stops for a second, thinking everything over. There’s one problem he hasn’t been able to come up with a solution for. “This might be a lot to ask, but can you do me one last favor?”
The boy nods eagerly, so much so that Yoongi’s concerned he might snap his neck. “Of course, hyung. You’ve done so much for me over the years. I definitely owe you for it all.”
“Can you protect Jimin for me? I’m really hoping that leaving the country will make the Chois chase after me and leave him alone, but I can’t be completely sure that they will.”
If it were any other time, Yoongi would do the hyung thing and tell Jungkook to close his mouth before he catches flies. The boy stutters, clearly shocked by the request. “You want me to- Let me get this straight. You want me to protect the same guy I almost fucking killed during a job? He’s not going to trust me, hyung. Why the fuck would he honestly?”
“He didn’t actually see your face, did he?”
“Oh no, he totally did. He managed to get my mask off before I knocked him out. That’s why I freaked the fuck out and went into hiding. I thought I was completely done for.”
Well, that sure does change things. “He saw your face?” Yoongi asks to which the younger nods. “I wonder why he didn’t tell the police that.”
“Do you know what he did tell them?”
“Jin-hyung gave me a copy of his statement. It was actually pretty short. He said there weren’t many streetlights around so it was too dark for him to see anything and that his memory of everything was still kind of fuzzy.”
Jungkook frowns, “He totally saw my face though. I swear.”
Did Jimin lie to the police then? No… right? “Well, that’s weird. I don’t know.” Yoongi sighs. “Will you please protect him, Kook-ah? I can’t stay and do it myself. I don’t know who else to ask.”
The younger lets out a nervous laugh. “Well, uh… I’ve never exactly had to protect someone as a job before. I’ll try for you though, hyung.”
Yoongi, suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion, reaches forward and hugs Jungkook to him tightly, prompting a squeak of surprise from Jungkook. “Thank you, Kook-ah.”
The younger scrambles to hug him back. “Uh… you’re welcome? You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Yoongi says, giving Jungkook one last squeeze. “I guess this might be the last time we see each other.”
“I don’t want to say goodbye to you, hyung. You’ve done so much for me. You really changed who I am as a person.”
As much as Yoongi wants to say all he did was turn his dongsaeng into a murderer, he refrains. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again at some point. I might be leaving the country, but we still can still find a way to contact each other.”
“You’re right. It just really sucks to see you go.”
“I know, Jungkook-ah, but I have to.”
*****
Seoul’s been so sad and dreary lately, with dark grey rain clouds drizzling down from above for at least the past two weeks. It’s fitting honestly as Jimin stares out the window of what used to be his and Yoongi’s favorite coffee shop. The cappuccino in front of him had since grown cold, and he’s still yet to take even a sip of it.
There’s still another week before he’s allowed to go back to work, as per Seungdeuk-hyung’s instructions. His hyung, and technically boss, had banned him from the company building until he’s completely recovered. If only he was at least allowed to sit in dance practices to help, rather than teach. He misses working more than anything. Dancing has been his life since he was much younger, and it would have made such a welcome distraction from… other things.
He hasn’t been to work in over a month, but he’s still in the loop on what’s been going on thanks to the staff groupchat. Apparently, Yeonjun has been gone from the company just as long as he’s been. No one, not even the trainees he shares a dorm with, have been able to get in contact with him for a month. It was almost as if he’d completely disappeared off the face of the Earth after he’d been checked out of the hospital, the last time anyone had seen him. There’s no way Yeonjun would quit. Becoming an idol had been his dream since he was a kid, and he was so so close to achieving it. Why would he just up and leave?
Jimin sighs, taking a sip from his cold cup of coffee. It’s disgusting since it’s no longer warm, but he can’t bring himself to have the baristas who spent so much time on the latte art see a perfectly good cup of coffee go to waste. It would hurt his heart, and he definitely doesn’t need any more of that.
He’s alone, and out of the house, for the first time in weeks. He thought he was ready, but everything reminds him of Yoongi. That’s partially why he ended up coming here. It was probably misguided hope, but he’d thought that visiting one of their favorite places to go together would help assuage the pain. Is it even possible for him to be more wrong? Every time he looks across the table, he wishes, hopes, and maybe hallucinates Yoongi sitting there smiling at him.
Taehyung has told him several times that what he needs is closure. Coming here is probably the complete opposite. Maybe he should just listen to his best friend and let himself be dragged to his and Yoongi’s apartment to get his things. It’s been long enough that he should be ready for that step. He should but… is he?
The doorbell above the entrance to the coffee shop rings, and the blonde glances up. In hopes that it’s Yoongi? It’s hard to say really. His eyes land on the newest customer walking through the door, only to find a complete stranger.
*****
The apartment looks painfully sad, not that it hadn’t already for the past month during Yoongi’s newly established routine of constant work and sleep. The only time he’s spent here for weeks was to sleep in the early hours of the morning. It had taken an ass load of work to be able to shut everything down, and he’d done every bit of it himself without a peep to anyone else. Now that it’s all over though, it just feels strange. Is this really the same place that he’d spent the past year in with the love of his life?
The walls are barren, though they once were covered in a variety of paintings and photos. Jimin had always had an affinity for interior design, so Yoongi had let him do whatever he’d wanted with most of the apartment. The younger had commissioned a few paintings from Taehyung that had once graced the walls of their living room. In his effort to pack up everything he owned in the span of just a few days, Yoongi had taken down each of them, leaving them neatly stacked on the coffee table. The many pictures of Jimin and himself that had also decorated the walls were stacked beside them. Taking those down had been the most difficult. They both had looked so happy in each of the photos, but it was a lie, just a facade that they’d been living for the past three years.
All of the belongings Yoongi is bringing along with him to the US is packed into two suitcases and three boxes, all of which are sitting by the door with him now. It’s almost scary that he’s managed to fit his entire life into just a few items of storage, but he’s leaving the majority of the things he called his own behind. Everything involving the mob is staying. The only things coming with him from his desk are his pictures of those dear to him. Besides that, everything else was just clothes, essential paperwork, and a few other items that have been passed down throughout his family, such as his mother’s wedding ring. The same ring he’d planned on getting resized at some point and proposing to Jimin with. It’s almost funny how quickly plans can change.
The Uber he’d scheduled to take him to the airport is due to be here in less than fifteen minutes, so the black-haired man rises from his spot on the living room couch for one last walkthrough of the place he’s happily called home for quite a while now. He’d decided on leaving the majority of the furniture and appliances behind for Jimin, if the younger does ever choose to come back for his things. The drawers and closet still hold a good deal of clothes belonging to the blonde, and Yoongi didn’t have the heart to move them. He also didn’t have the strength to call Jimin and ask if he’d like his belongings back. Yoongi is a lot of things. A liar, a murderer, and a horrible person, but he’s also incredibly weak. He’s leaving almost everything behind, giving himself a fresh start. It’s much much easier for him to make a clean escape from any possible assassins or pursuers after him this way too.
His phone lets him know his ride has arrived, so he makes his way back to the front of the apartment, starting the grueling process of loading all of his things into the car by hefting one of the large boxes into his arms.
Once everything’s been placed into the trunk of the driver’s car, Yoongi climbs back up the familiar flights of stairs one last time. He pulls open the door to the apartment, giving the space one good last look as he rounds the couch and pulls an envelope out of his pocket. Jimin’s name is printed as cleanly as he could manage on the front, and he leaves it situated perfectly in the center of the coffee table. If Jimin does come back to the apartment at some point, hopefully he’ll find it.
Once he’s seated in the Uber driver’s car and the car starts moving, Yoongi finds himself looking out the window as the many buildings of Seoul pass him by. This will be the last time he sees this. After leaving the Min family safehouse in Daegu to take his father’s position years ago, he’d come to call the streets of Seoul his home. Instead of continuing to let himself be sad and sentimental, the black-haired man turns away from the window. Leaving doesn’t have to be sad. He’s ready to put this chapter of his life behind him for the good of the people he loves. There’s just one place he has to go first.
The cemetery is quiet, devoid of anyone else visiting their loved ones. It seems the cold biting wind of November keeps most people away, not that Yoongi’s complaining. He clutches the flowers he purchased on the way here to his chest. The gravestone stares back at him. Jung Hoseok. It’s been a few months since he’s last visited, since the summer actually. Yoongi always made a habit of bringing fresh flowers here during the warmer months of the summer, Hoseok’s favorite season. There was no way he couldn’t come visit before leaving the country.
It takes a minute for Yoongi to pull out the old flowers currently resting in the attached vase for them, the water they’d been kept in having frozen over due to the weather. After replacing them with vibrant, yellow roses, a color that’s always reminded him of his late best friend, the black-haired man takes a seat on the cold ground beneath him.
“Hi, Seok-ah. It’s been a while.” He lets out a nervous laugh, watching his breath puff out into the frigid air. “Sorry I haven’t visited in so long. Things have gotten crazy for me lately. The reason I’m here though is because…” Yoongi finds himself trailing off mid-sentence. He’s always found talking to Hoseok like this, always wondering if his friend could actually hear him or if he was just talking to the air. “I’m leaving South Korea for a while. It didn’t feel right for me to leave without telling you goodbye.” He imagines Hoseok’s sunny smile, telling him that he better be sure to come see him after he comes back… if he comes back.
Yoongi sighs, “I know every time I come here, I end up apologizing to you. If you were still here, I know you’d say something like… skip the apologies, hyung. I already forgave you a long time ago.” He feels his eyes starting to water, despite his desperate attempts to stop them. “I can’t help it, Seok-ah. I’m so fucking sorry. You’d still be here if it wasn’t for me. It should be me six feet under, not you.”
Ever since that day three years ago, not a single day has gone by where Yoongi wasn’t assaulted with the memories of that night, memories of how he’d considered sending his friend to his safe house in Daegu for a few or weeks or assigning someone as a protective detail for him. He’d been too naive to think Hosek wouldn’t be targeted, too fucking naive. He’d sworn to himself that he’d never be as stupid as his father, and then he’d gone and fucking done it. He’s never been the same since then, holding everyone he loved closely to him but also at an arm’s distance. Maybe that’s why he could never bring himself to tell Jimin the truth, the skeleton’s haunting him from the closet.
The man sits in the cold as tears flow freely down his face, his body being racked with shivers as the cool wind picks up. Hoseok would want him to smile, just like always. That was all he ever wanted from Yoongi, a genuine smile. Forcing himself to stand, Yoongi wipes a few stray tears from his eyes with a tiny sniffle. He should wrap this up soon. His Uber driver probably isn’t too happy with him after he’d promised the man it would be a quick stop here.
The sun emerges from behind the clouds, shining down warm enough that Yoongi can feel it on his skin. That alone manages to make him smile, just the tiniest bit. “Bye, Seok-ah. Hopefully, I’ll be able to come back someday.”
*****
Jimin stands outside his, their, apartment, desperately trying to convince himself to just open the door and go inside. Why is he such a coward? He hadn’t even called Yoongi to tell him that he was coming. The plan was to just drop in, pick up as many of his belongings as possible, and then dip.
Taehyung comes beside him, resting a hand gently on his friend’s shoulder for comfort. He’d originally offered to come along for moral support, but, now that they’re actually here, Jimin is incredibly thankful he came. “It’ll be okay, Jiminie. He might not even be home.”
He has a point. Jimin hadn’t seen Yoongi’s car parked out front when they’d arrived. “You’re right.” Jimin sucks in a deep breath. “I can do this. I can do this. I can totally do this.” He pulls his keys to the apartment from his pocket, unlocking the door and stepping inside.
The apartment is different from the last time he’s been here. It’s not possible for Yoongi to have changed that much about the place in just a month, is it? Jimin steps into the main area with the kitchen and the living room. Everything has been taken down off the walls and placed in a neat stack on the coffee table. Other than that, all of the furniture and appliances remain where they originally were. Everything that was personally Yoongi’s is gone. The blonde steps through the doorway of their bedroom, finding the bed stripped with a pile of folded, clean sheets resting on its corner and several of the drawers of the dresser pulled open and empty. On closer inspection, all of the clothes that are missing are Yoongi’s. It seems like the entire apartment’s been cleaned out of everything belonging to him. Everything that Jimin had left behind is still here. What happened?
“Jiminie?” Taehyung’s voice calls from the doorway. “I found something.” He holds a white envelope in his hand, passing it over to Jimin. “It was on the coffee table.”
Park Jimin is handwritten on the front in what the blonde immediately recognizes as Yoongi’s squished scrawl. The elder always had a habit of squeezing his letters as closely together as legibly possible, even taking shortcuts with some. His handwriting is so distinct there’s no way Jimin wouldn’t recognize it.
To my love, Jimin-ah,
I could spend this entire letter apologizing, and believe me, I would if I didn’t already know it’s pointless. There are no amount of I’m sorrys that could ever make up for what I did. You don’t have to forgive me. Honestly? Please don’t. I don’t deserve it.
I’m writing this to let you know I’m leaving South Korea. Please don’t worry about me. I know your heart is so big, so open, and so kind that there’s a good chance you might. Please don’t though. You’re such a beautiful soul, Jimin-ah. I’ve been so lucky to have loved you for as long as I have. Please take care of yourself and stay safe.
-Yoongi
He’s leaving.
“Jiminie?” His best friend’s voice gently calling him brings Jimin back to reality. “Everything okay?”
Jimin can already feel the tears freely flowing down his face. He wasn’t even aware he’d started crying. He can’t even bring himself to answer, crumbling to the floor with the paper still in his hands. Tears fall down from his cheeks in rivers, wetting Yoongi’s letter with tiny droplets. “No…” He manages to say in a whisper. “Not at all.”
*****
The plane window is fogged up due to the chilly weather outside. It’s almost sad really. Yoongi can’t even see Seoul as he waits to leave. The plane begins to taxi, so he frantically rubs the sleeve of his sweater against the window. Seoul looks dreary, with rain clouds covering the possibility of sunlight. The black-haired man slumps back in his seat with a sigh. The flight to Los Angeles is about twelve hours long, nonstop. It’s going to be a while.
Yoongi doesn’t even know what he’s going to do when he arrives, not even sure whether or not he even wants to stay in LA. He’s got more than enough money to make it, but he knows he should still get a job as soon as he finds somewhere to settle down. His only solid plan is blending in with everyone else around him, assimilating into society as best as he can. He’s worried about a lot of things, mainly the language barrier. He’d learned English all throughout high school and he’s even made deals with foreign mob groups, but it’s been a while since ten. His English is probably insanely rusty. He’ll make it though. If there’s anything Min Yoongi is good at, it’s surviving. He’d taken care of himself for years after both of his parents died. Even if he’s in a completely foreign country, he’ll make it work.
The plane finally takes off, soaring high into the sky fairly quickly. Yoongi wipes the window clear again, watching the many high rise buildings of Seoul fade out into the distance. He stares out the window until he can’t see the city anymore, until everything he’s known for his entire life vanishes before his eyes.
“Ladies and gentleman, we’ve officially left Seoul. Please sit back. It’s going to be quite a long flight.”
Yoongi puts his seat back as far as it will go, leaning back and closing his eyes in hopes that he can sleep through as much of the flight as possible. When he wakes up, he’ll be in LA. His life will be completely different, almost a fresh start for the ex-mafia leader. It’s funny really. There were so many times where Yoongi wished that this wasn’t his life, that he’d never stepped up into his father’s position to begin with. It was that decision that had led him to meet the people he’d grown to call friends, and it led him to that hospital the night he’d met Jimin. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a horrible choice.
He hears the flight attendants bustling around the cabin, asking other passengers if they’d like anything to drink. Yoongi reaches into the pocket of his jacket, putting in his headphones as he hits play on a playlist of quiet piano music.
“Do you believe in love, hyung?”
...I do. I found it, and, just as easily, I lost it.