Chapter Text
Hitoshi didn’t know how long it had been. Not long enough for Blanket to protest and try to get away, but that didn’t mean much as the cat always did her valiant best to live up to her name, draping herself over any available warm surface and then staying there, motionless. For hours.
So if she’d decided that Hitoshi was currently an acceptable warm surface then they could have been here for hours for all she cared.
Hitoshi didn’t actually think it’d been that long, but he didn’t know, because even if he’d finally managed to stop the pathetic waterworks that’d forced their way out he had not yet been willing to lift his face from its hiding place in her fur for long enough to look at a clock. Or breathe. But that wasn’t important.
What was important now was pulling himself together because he didn’t know how long it had been, but it was long enough for Aizawa and Hizashi to finish talking and now at least one of them was outside his door, knocking.
“Hitoshi? Kiddo, can we come in?” Hizashi’s voice floated in through the door, and it sounded way softer than before, but that might just be distortion or something.
Hitoshi took one last deep breath and steeled himself, and then finally pulled his face out of Blanket’s fur.
“Yeah,” he answered, hoping the door would muffle the creakiness, and quickly scrubbing his sleeves over his face. There was no way he could conceal that he’d been crying but he could at least make sure that there weren’t any actual tears on his face.
Blanket meowed shrilly in protest over being jostled so suddenly and Hitoshi was only too happy for the distraction, busying his hands with petting her in an unspoken apology that she accepted readily, and he very pointedly didn’t look up at the door as it opened, letting Hizashi and Aizawa walk in and seat themselves on the floor by him before he let his eyes dart up to take in their expressions.
And neither or them looked angry, which was good. But also really confusing. Especially Hizashi, who not only didn’t look angry, but actually looked sad now, instead. Which was bad. Maybe not for Hitoshi right now, but it felt wrong. He didn’t like seeing Hizashi upset like this either.
He didn’t know what to do next. Or what to say. And apparently neither did they as silence enveloped them all and Hitoshi looked back down at Blanket who was staring around at the three silent humans like she could feel the tension in the air, too.
It was grating on his nerves and he was almost ready to throw caution to the wind when Hizashi sighed deeply and raked his hands through his hair, bringing Hitoshi’s eyes back on him, watching to see what he would do next.
“I – Kiddo, can I have a hug?” Hizashi asked softly, looking so dejected, and Hitoshi was too stunned to reply. He hadn’t expected hugging to be on the table right now at all. “I know you’re probably very upset with me right now, but I could really use a hug if that’s okay with you?” Hizashi continued, stumping Hitoshi completely with every word that came out of his mouth.
He had no idea what he was supposed to say, at all. Because he wasn’t mad at Hizashi. Why would he be? What was going on?
But Hizashi was upset, and he was asking for a hug and something in Hitoshi thrummed with joy that the thing Hizashi did for him when he was upset was not only something Hizashi enjoyed as well, enough to be asking for it, but that he could now return the favor.
But first he had to agree because Hizashi was still just looking at him, and he was looking more and more concerned with every passing moment, so he nodded sharply and quickly ducked his head into Hizashi’s shoulder as the other nearly jumped forward and enveloped him tightly with long, warm arms.
Blanket loudly voiced her displeasure at this second round of jostling and jumped out of his lap to go find a more still surface to drape over, and Hitoshi whined silently at the loss before he remembered himself and went back to silently waiting for the adults to start making sense.
Hizashi chuckled into his hair, “I’m sorry, honey, I shouldn’t have been so quick.” He took a deep breath that Hitoshi felt move his entire torso and smooshed his cheek against Hitoshi’s hair before continuing in a much more serious voice that immediately had Hitoshi listening intently. “And I’m sorry about before, I definitely shouldn’t have gotten on your case like that right out the gate, it wasn’t fair to you at all.”
The stumping continued as Hitoshi took in the fact that not only was Hizashi not mad anymore at all, but he was actually apologizing about it even though he didn’t actually do anything worse than talk a little loudly, which was kind of par for the course with Hizashi regardless of his mood.
“s’okay,” Hitoshi mumbled into Hizashi’s shirt. Because he didn’t know what else to say.
“No, kiddo, it really isn’t,” Hizashi disagreed, voice low, “I overreacted and I scared you – no, shh, I know you, Toshi, you were scared, don’t try to argue.” Hizashi shut down Hitoshi’s protest before he’d even opened his mouth to say it. Was he really that easy to read? Shit.
“And I’m sorry that I’m the reason you felt that way, it’s really not okay, you should never have to be afraid of me, and –” Hizashi gulped, cutting himself off. And he almost sounded like he was trying not to cry. “I’m really sorry, okay? I was just so worried and scared when I didn’t know where you – but that’s not an excuse, it really isn’t, just because I was scared doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you, or –”
Oh. He really was trying not to cry. And rambling a mile a minute about how sorry he was, and Hitoshi wasn’t even mad, he didn’t need an apology but it still felt really nice to get one and like maybe he was going to start crying soon, too, if Hizashi didn’t cut it out.
But he wasn’t about to interrupt the speaking adult, so he just reached out and hugged Hizashi back instead, which was immediately answered with Hizashi silencing himself and tugging Hitoshi even closer, hugging him even tighter.
This felt okay. Even if he still didn’t really know what had happened, this was okay. It felt like everything was going to be okay with Hizashi hugging him like this. And he tried to vocalize that. He really did try.
“It’s okay,” but Hitoshi was not good with putting his emotions into words and Hizashi had already refused that exact statement from Hitoshi once before, and even if it meant a whole lot more to Hitoshi this time, Hizashi wouldn’t know that.
He was proven correct when Hizashi huffed above him, “Kiddo, you’re allowed to not think this is okay, too. You get that, right?”
“Yeah,” Hitoshi mumbled in the silence following Hizashi’s question, “but… I’m not… I don’t think this isn’t okay.” Why was he so bad at this? He could spit out believable lies at an honestly alarming rate in most situations, but somehow, whenever he actually tried to be honest, especially when feelings were involved, everything just got so tangled up and confusing and… bad.
And Hizashi squeezed him tighter again, but he didn’t know why this time. And he’d honestly really appreciate it if they could be done with all this talk about feelings, but then again, he had absolutely no idea what was going to come after this, so maybe he should just be grateful for the devil he knew.
“I’m sorry, Hitoshi,” Hizashi whispered against his hair again, and this time Hitoshi didn’t try to answer, he just nodded into Hizashi’s shirt and accepted that Hizashi wasn’t going to agree that this was okay.
“Hitoshi, where’s your phone?” Aizawa asked. Clearly trying for non sequitur of the century. And Hitoshi turned his head in the hopes of reading some sort of meaning from Aizawa’s expression, but that was about as fruitful as it usually was with Aizawa’s deadpan face. He did, however, see that Aizawa’s lap was now serving as Blanket’s warm spot and he felt a small pang of jealousy. At Aizawa or the cat he honestly didn’t know.
And Hizashi chuckled above him, “way to ruin the moment, Shou.” But Aizawa didn’t rise to the bait, keeping his gaze steady on Hitoshi.
Maybe this was the punishment for whatever he’d done. It was pretty tame, but he’d heard of other kids getting their phones taken away, so it made sense. And his phone was broken anyway, so it wasn’t like he had anything to lose.
He shimmied in Hizashi’s hold to get his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Aizawa, broken screen up and shrank back as Aizawa’s gaze sharpened.
Because of course. That phone was their property and he’d broken it. They were definitely going to be mad about that, too, and Hitoshi was an absolute idiot for not realizing that.
-
Hitoshi’s phone was broken.
That made sense.
For the life of him, Shouta had not been able to think of a reason why Hitoshi would choose to ignore their phone calls because that just wasn’t something he could see Hitoshi doing regardless of the mood he was in. And he’d been right: Hitoshi hadn’t been ignoring them. His phone was broken.
But why was it broken? Hitoshi was always so careful with his things, and that definitely went for his phone as well. Shouta appraised the kid for a moment, and he didn’t like how said kid was pushing himself backwards into Hizashi, like he expected Shouta to be angry now.
And above him, Hizashi was clearly understanding the implications of a broken phone, his face twisting in regret as he squeezed Hitoshi again, and the kid furrowed his brow in confusion but accepted the comfort without a word.
“How did you break your phone?” Shouta asked, keeping his voice low and neutral, because he wasn’t accusing the kid of anything.
Hitoshi just shrugged despondently and looked away as he mumbled a dark, “dropped it.”
Which obviously wasn’t the whole truth, and Shouta called him out on that immediately, even though he didn’t think the kid was trying to lie to him as much as brush him off, because he wanted to know what had happened, not get blocked out with a half truth and a sour face, “No, tell me the truth, Hitoshi. What happened?”
Hitoshi flinched at the call-out and Hizashi leveled a glare at him, having gone full protector-mode now that he was sure that Hitoshi wasn’t mad at him.
“It’s not –” Hitoshi tried, “I’m not lying or anything, I had it in my hand and I dropped it.” And while Shouta definitely wasn’t immune to the pleading look his kid was sending him, he wasn’t going to let this go, because something in his gut told him that something more was going on that he wanted to know about.
“But something made you drop it?” he tried.
And Hitoshi only shifted around for a moment before nodding, “Just some guy who shoulder-checked me in the hallway. I didn’t even recognize him, he was just being an a- being rude for no reason.”
Hizashi snorted at the almost-swear and Shouta nearly did, too, but he was too caught up in the knowledge that Hitoshi didn’t usually bother to censor himself. He was actively working to be extra polite because he still thought he was in trouble, and Shouta took a moment to consider what the kid could think he was in trouble for because it was about time to dispel that notion. Hitoshi had spent enough time on edge today. They all had, actually. So it was time to fix it.
There was the half-lie he’d just told, which was not a big deal at all and easily corrected.
“Thank you for telling me, Hitoshi,” he said, and watched the kid slump a little with relief, so he’d definitely been on edge about that.
Then there was the broken phone business in general, which, judging by Hitoshi’s earlier behavior was a sore spot, too.
“I don’t think we can really do anything about the kid shoulder-checking you unless he did something more,” a brief pause to see if Hitoshi had anything to add, but he just shook his head, “so we’ll just have to get you a new one as soon as possible.”
Hizashi nodded his assent, and squeezed the kid once again, and Hitoshi looked confused again, but nodded and accepted it anyway.
And then there was the whole business about why Hitoshi hadn’t checked in with them, because the fact that he hadn’t even had a phone to contact them with if something happened actually made his sudden disappearance even more dangerous.
“But I need you to tell me why you didn’t find some other way to let us know where you were going after school, because that could’ve been dangerous for you.” He said, still keeping his voice low because he was not admonishing the kid.
“And it was really scary for us,” Hizashi piped up from above Hitoshi whose face betrayed his extreme confusion. Which Shouta had expected, to some degree, but this was more than he’d anticipated.
“I…” Hitoshi began, brows furrowed, “I didn’t know I had to.”
-
That was clearly the wrong thing to say as Aizawa leaned in. Not threateningly, but making it very clear that his entire focus was on fixing whatever he thought was wrong with Hitoshi’s thinking right now.
“What do you mean you didn’t know?” Hizashi asked quietly. And Hitoshi let himself curl up just a little bit more for comfort under both of his parents’ direct attention.
“I just… I guess I kinda assumed that you wouldn’t care where I was beyond, like, maybe getting annoyed if I wasn’t home for dinner without telling you, but my phone was broken and it just… didn’t seem like a big deal?” his voice automatically trended up, making it sound like he was asking a question. Which he kind of was. He would very much like for them to explain to him why things weren’t the way he thought they’d be. The way they’d always been before.
Judging by the heavy twin sighs being heaved, he was about to get what he wanted, too, but he wasn’t sure he actually wanted it anymore.
“Toshi, honey, of course we care where you are, we’re your parents,” Hizashi said softly, squeezing him close again, “it’s our job to care about you and make sure you’re safe, and that means knowing where you are so we can get to you if something happens. That’s why we were scared, too, because you could’ve been anywhere, you could’ve been hurt and we wouldn’t have known about it at all. That’s really scary for a parent, kiddo.”
Hitoshi couldn’t help the disbelieving grimace on his face, because that was so far-fetched. He was almost sixteen, it wasn’t like he couldn’t take care of himself on a regular school day. It was nice that they cared, but this just felt like being unnecessarily babied and he didn’t care for it.
“Hitoshi, look at me,” Aizawa said, face still intense when Hitoshi turned to do as he was told, “you need to understand that this isn’t just needless worrying on our part.” So he was just that easy to read, huh? “UA is actively being targeted by villains, myself especially, and the thing about villains is that they’re not above getting to me through my family. I don’t want to scare you, but I do need you to get why this is a sticking point for us, alright?”
Okay, that made sense, even if it was being overly cautious. He could understand being a possible liability and why they’d want to minimize risk of him being used against them.
“We’d never be able to forgive ourselves if something happened to you on our watch, Toshi,” Hizashi added with another tight squeeze, “I’m still not trying to excuse how I acted, but the reason I yelled like that was because of how scared I’d been, kiddo, all afternoon, not knowing where you were I was quickly working my way towards a stress-induced heart attack I was so scared! And then you were just fine which made it feel like you’d been doing it on purpose, hurting me like that, and I know you didn’t but in the moment, I was just… I was so scared, Toshi, so scared of losing you.”
And Hizashi was definitely holding back tears again but this time Hitoshi couldn’t blame him as he felt the tell-tale heat at the back of his own eyes as well.
He wasn’t… It wasn’t just because he was a liability, they actually cared about whether he was around and it felt so dumb that he needed it spelled out like this when he already knew that they’d chosen to keep him, to bring him into their home at all, but before, he’d always kind of been able to write it off as being a charity case for them. They were heroes, after all. But this. He couldn’t write this off which meant actually having to confront the fact that they just might like him for him.
And he was one wrong look away from breaking down as he tried to steady himself with some deep breaths when Aizawa decided to put the final nail in the coffin.
“We love you, Hitoshi,” he said, so casually, “and we never want to lose you, and if the thing that’s gonna prevent that is being a little overprotective, then so be it.”
Yep. That’d do it.
-
Hizashi was a little surprised to suddenly be holding an armful of violently sobbing teenager, but he understood what he needed to do just fine as he wrapped his kid up even tighter in his arms and started rocking gently back and forth with him.
Shouta looked a little surprised, too, for a moment, before his face softened into a deeper understanding with just a hint of underlying disappointment with himself. And then he moved up on his own accord, wrapping his own arms around Hitoshi and Hizashi both, completely disregarding the annoyed cat he’d dislodged in doing so.
And then the realization of why Shouta looked upset with himself hit Hizashi, too. They’d never actually told Hitoshi that they loved him before!
Fuck, the mistakes they were making were just piling on today. First with the yelling, and getting upset about Hitoshi not answering his phone when it was literally broken, and now they were faced with they own kid never having heard them tell him they loved him before.
Granted, he’d only lived with them for a little over a month, but Hizashi had loved him since the first weekend. And he knew Shouta had, too.
At least this mistake had an easy fix that he would happily indulge in every single day.
“We do,” he crowed happily, “we love you so much, Toshi!” And if he was crying, too, now, then so be it.
And Hitoshi’s hair was actually surprisingly effective at absorbing tears, so this whole situation was working out just fine for him. No need to move from here at all.