Chapter Text
Dave’s heart aches.
There’s no two ways about it. Lying in that coffin is you, a hole in your abdomen. You’re alone and cold. Dave won’t hear your laugh again, see your smile, or watch you walk into the office humming a song that you heard on the radio.
“Daddy?”
Rossi looks over to see Jack talking to Hotch, both donned in black suits.
“Yeah buddy?” Dave can’t help but notice the crack in his voice.
“Where’s Y/N?”
Tears spring to his eyes. “They’re…erm…they’re gone, buddy. They’ve gone to heaven.”
“Like Mummy?”
“Yeah kid, like Mummy.”
Rossi’s heart breaks as he looks over and sees Spencer, hugging Morgan close, tears streaming down his face. It’s no secret that you and Spencer were like siblings, the older always looking over you and helping you through your first year at the BAU. You joined the team at the fresh age of twenty, a little younger than the resident genius.
Speaking of siblings, Rossi looks over at the family joining the team at the funeral. You’ve left behind two brothers, both older than you. Rossi can’t begin to imagine how they must feel, loosing another member of their already small family.
“They can’t be,” a whimper comes from behind. Dave turns around to see JJ, her face buried in Will’s chest. He’s trying to comfort her, his hand rubbing up and down her back.
“I know, baby, I know,” he says, kissing her temple.
From a tree, far away, someone watches the funeral. You sigh and watch as your friends mourn. It’s difficult, definitely.
“You made the right choice.”
You turn to see Strauss behind you, black coat hiding her suit.
“Doesn’t feel like it,” you grumble and turn away.
“Well, Paris will be very pleased to see you. Manuel will meet you at the airport. We’ll make sure you get there undetected.”
With one last sigh, you turn around and get into the car, driving off.
—•—
Three years.
Three years you’re gone without a word from the BAU, without a peep from your brothers, without a message from Dave. That’s what hurts the most. Rossi was a father figure to you and without him, you feel lost. One guy on your new team, Sebastian, is similar, yes, but not the same.
“Y/N? Phone call, line seven,” Manuel calls out. You sit at your desk and pick up the phone.
“Bonjour, Y/N speaking, what can I do for you?” You answer.
“Agent L/N,” the voice of Erin comes down the phone.
“Strauss,” you greet. “What do you need?”
“We need you back,” she asks. Your heart drops. What? Three years away and she just expects you to come back?
“What do you mean you need me back? I thought you made it clear that I wasn’t to see anyone.”
“I know, I know, but we need a consult, and we have an open space on the team if you wish to stay.”
“But…” You can’t form a sentence, “but, I don’t…I left them behind!”
“I need a yes or a no, agent.”
You sigh and lean back in your chair.
“Yes.”
—•—
The apartment block your brothers live in is nice. It’s clean, in a nice part of town, and has a friendly vibe coming from it. According to Strauss, it also has three bedrooms. Using the code given to you, you get into the building and start climbing the stairs to the tenth floor. Using the lift could be too risky, and neither of your brothers would choose to take the stairs.
Here you are. Number five-three. It takes you a minute to gather yourself, but when you do, you give three strong knocks. And you wait. And you wait. And you-
The door opens.
“Fuck off.”
You’re taken aback by Charlie’s greeting, but nonetheless flash a smile and nod.
“Erm, hello to you too?” You reply. You don’t get to say much else before Charlie pulls you into a tight hug, squeezing you so you drop your bag. After a minute, he lets you go and you go inside.
“I knew it! I fucking knew you weren’t dead!” He exclaims, rushing to get two mugs out of a cupboard and brew a pot of coffee. You look around; it’s clean. The kitchen and living room are separated by a small wall and a counter, a blue and silver theme running through the place. You look at the TV set. Of course they have all the consoles.
You take a seat on the grey sofa, leaning into the cushions.
“How’d you do it? I need to hear everything!”
You smile. “Slow down man. I think you’ve had enough caffeine.”
Charlie blinks. “Sorry. I just, holy shit.”
And so, you proceed to recite the story. How Erin needed you to transfer, how your life was in danger after you cracked open a terrorism case, and how you needed to disappear.
“In retrospect, The Winter Solider was pretty accurate on that front,” you joke, and you two share a laugh.
“Yeah.”
“Hey, erm, do you think I could, erm, stay here a while? Just a couple weeks until I can get a place,” you ask. Charlie’s face lights up.
“Sure! Sam thought it was stupid to keep a room for you, but I just knew, y’know? I’ll show you.”
You grab your bag and follow Charlie to a door. You open it to be met with a bedroom. The double bed is a dark oak, matching the rest of the furniture, and the bedding is a cream.
“We used it as a guest room, but I knew it’d become yours someday,” he explains. You smile and hug your brother before deciding to unpack.
After a few hours and multiple trips, you’re finally finishing up. You’re hanging your work clothes in the wardrobe when there’s a knock on the door. You turn around and are met with a taller man, cheekbones sharp, and dark brown hair.
“Sam?”
“N/N.”
You run over and pull your oldest brother into a hug, tears filling your eyes.
“You dickhead,” he sniffs. “You stupid arsehole, scaring us like that.” You pull away and look at each other. “You’ve matured a bit.”
“I could say the same to you. What, you’re forty now?”
“Yeah, and you didn’t even get me a gift, being ‘dead’ and all.”
“I think I did. Where do you think the PS4 came from?”
Sam’s jaw drops and a smile dons his face. Being back is definitely worth it.
—•—
The BAU hasn’t changed at all.
The building’s the exact same, the process to get through security is the same, and Strauss still wears that hideous blue dress. You smooth your shirt and walk through, meeting Erin after the security checks.
“So, where am I going first?” You ask as you both get in a lift.
“Garcia’s office. She can redo your credentials,” she explains. You nod, and leave her as you make your way to the ‘Batcave’. You take a deep breath and open the door. Penelope hasn’t changed much, except her hair colour of course. It’s currently a bright red.
“Hi techy,” you greet. Garcia stops typing.
“No,” she says. “It can’t be-“
“But it is,” you cut her off, walking over. She spins in her chair and runs over to you, tackling you in a hug.
“You were dead but now you’re not dead but we watched you get buried but clearly it wasn’t you and then-“ Garcia’s ramble is cut off and you squeeze her a little tighter.
“It’s alright. I’m here now, that’s what matters,” you say.
“So, were you actually shot?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
“But you didn’t die?”
“No.” You pause. “How is everyone?”
Penelope sighs and gestures to a chair. You two take seats opposite each other.
“It was hard, after the funeral. I guess it made it real in our minds. It was quiet in the office, so much. No one’s touched your desk.”
“Really? I thought it’d be cleared after the funeral so you could get someone new in.”
Garcia sighs. “Hotch and Strauss fought over it. A lot. She wanted to replace you but he refused. Since then, we’ve been a member down.”
You lean back and sigh. What a fucking mess. Seriously, a huge mess.
“Is everyone else still here?” You ask.
Garcia nods. “Yeah. It took a while, but people retuned. It hit Spencer and Rossi the hardest.” Your heart shatters. You hurt your friends, your role-model, and you didn’t even know. “Reid cried a lot. He got better though. Rossi? I’m not sure he’ll be the same again.”
You look down, hanging your head in shame. You feel a hand on your knee and see Penelope looking at him, slight tears in her eyes. “You’re his kid, Y/N. The non-biological, but biological, kid.”
You give a weak smile and stand. “Guess I should see them then, huh?”
—•—
You open the doors to the BAU and smile at the feeling. You’ve missed this place.
“They’re about to start a briefing that I’m giving. C’mon,” Garcia says, pulling you by the arm to the briefing room. You take a deep breath as she opens the door.
Silence.
No one knows what to say. Their co-worker, their friend, is alive, one they buried three years ago.
“Y/N?” Emily’s the first to stand, walking over and standing in front of you. You smile and nod, trying to hold back tears.
“Yeah, it’s me,” you reply, pulling the woman in for a hug. You hold her close, only to be joined quickly by JJ. The women smile and let you go, moving out of the way for the unit chief and a certain chocolate thunder.
“It’s amazing to have you back,” Hotch says with a wide smile on his face. Derek pulls you in for a hug, patting your back.
“Great to see you, kid, great to see you,” he greets. Finally, you turn to Spencer. The genius has a bit of a moustache now and his hair’s a little longer. You smile.
“Hey Spence,” you greet before you’re tackled by him in a hug. You smile and hug him back, and you can feel his body shake a little.
“I thought…We thought…” He tries to get out. You nod.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Rossi? You okay?”
You two pull apart to look at the oldest agent. He’s still sitting there, staring at you. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s so angry. So, so, angry. He doesn’t want to believe it. He can’t. You died in his arms. This isn’t you. It can’t be.
Dave stands up, walks over, and punches you square in the nose. You’re pushed back, falling into Spencer a little. There’s an uproar in the room but as Dave holds his hand up, they stop.
“Three years. Three years!” He yells. “I watched you die. You died in my arms!” You sigh and shake your head. “You were shot right in the abdomen, the medics didn’t get there on time!” He starts to get chocked up, trying to hold himself together. “You died in my arms. I held you until you stopped breathing.”
He cries and you don’t know what to do except hug him tight.
“I’m so, so, sorry Dave. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my choice,” you whisper in his ear. “I wanted to stay.”
“What do you mean? Who made you leave?” Derek asks. You look up, still hugging Rossi.
“Strauss. After that terrorist case, she decided my life was in danger. So, she made me fake my death and move to Paris, where I worked. I got a call from her a week ago to come back. Something about needing a consult.”
“Well, we could definitely do with another pair of hands. We’re glad your back. Wheels up in thirty, Garcia can brief us on the plane.”
Everyone gets ready, leaving you and Rossi together. The older man has a small smile, tears streaming down his face.
“It’s really you, isn’t it?” He asks. You nod. “God, I missed you kid. I’m so glad you’re back.”
“Me too, Dave. Me too.”