Chapter Text
You had barely made it a hundred paces past the bridge that led out of Mondstadt before you began to regret you choice of travelling companion.
"Not getting cold feet, are we?" Kaeya asked as he walked backwards a few steps ahead of you, his hands casually clasped behind his head so that his elbows stuck out.
You rolled your eyes. "Cold feet from what?"
"Ya know..." Kaeya grinned. "Having Mondstadt's greatest Calvary Captain-"
"--Only Calvary Captain," you corrected.
Kaeya didn't miss a beat. "--Most handsome and charming Calvary Captain accompany you on your errands?"
"What is this, 'bring your obnoxious, little shit to work day?'" You scoffed. "I simply asked for an extra pair of hands, don't you think that this--" you jerked your head backwards small battalion of knights marching in formation behind you-- "is a little much?"
Kaeya gave you a nonchalant shrug. "Jean asked me to show some of the new recruits the ropes. Ya know, let 'em get their feet wet. I figured what better way than by shadowing my favorite adventurer?"
"Ah." You understood now. "I see what this is, you're trying to get me to do your job for you."
Kaeya gave you an impish grin. "Does that sound like something I would do?" he asked, well aware that was exactly the sort of reputation he'd curated for himself.
You didn't grace that with a response. "I thought that new honorary knight was your favorite adventurer?" you asked instead.
"Oh, no, no, no, my dear," Kaeya said, waving a finger back and forth in front of your face. You smacked his hand away and tried to will a small stone or a tree root to trip the backwards-walking idiot. It would serve him right.
"They are my favorite traveler. You-" he tapped your nose. You willed harder. "-are my favorite adventurer."
“Gee, I’m flattered,” you said drily.
You continued walking in silence-- well, you were silent, Kaeya was most decidedly not-- and it wasn’t until you were halfway through the Windwail Highland that Kaeya finally thought to ask, “So what’s the plan for today?”
“We’re going to see Andrius,” you said. “I need a spirit locket.”
“Spirit locket?” Kaeya echoed playfully. “Whatever for?”
You glared at him. He knew exactly what for, using up all your raven insignias the moment you could get your hands on them, occasionally not even waiting until you had removed them from the alchemy bench.
Kaeya placed a hand on his chest in mock surprise. “For me?” he asked, words practically dripping with that false honeyed tone he used when he felt like being particularly annoying. “Why, you shouldn’t have!” He was right. You shouldn’t have. Except Kaeya was your best friend (but Archons, at what cost?) and you had agreed to help him when he had bemoaned his difficulty in taking on the ice wolf due to his cryo vision.
Speaking of which-- “Oh, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be, what, with my cryo vision and all. I guess I’ll just have to watch while the rest of you fight,” he said, not sounding even remotely sorry.
“I did tell you not come,” you reminded him.
He opened his mouth to retort, but a voice in the distance calling out your name caused you both to turn your heads.
There, making his way toward you from the direction of Dawn Winery, was Diluc, his coat and bright red hair billowing dramatically behind him as he walked, which was odd, seeing as the ‘Windwail Highland’ was uncharacteristically un-windy. How did he always seem to do that? He must be personally blessed by Barbatos, you mused, and to his own credit, Diluc certainly knew how to make an entrance.
As he drew nearer, you could make out an irked expression on his face. That is to say, a different irked expression than the one he usually wore.
Once he was close enough to converse without shouting, he spoke to you directly, ignoring Kaeya and the other knights completely. “Since when do you hang around with the Knights of Favonius?” Was he pouting? Not quite, but he was coming very close to it.
You blinked. "I'm just taking your advice."
Diluc looked scandalized. "I would never advise such a thing!"
You spoke slowly, surprised at your own patience, "You said, and I quote: 'you should really bring the Knights of Favonious with you next time.'"
Diluc's indignant expression faltered with uncertainty. "We were just standing around," he defended himself weakly.
You could actually feel the vein in your eyelid twitch as you tried to control your sudden rage. "We were standing next to a campfire, so that we didn't freeze to death!" you said through gritted teeth.
Diluc knew he had no leg to stand on, so he switched tactics. "When I said take the Knights of Favonious with you, I didn't mean it like that," he said with indignance.
What was he even talking about?! Stubborn bastard. "There's only one way to take that you-- you--" You jabbed a finger into his chest repeatedly, trying to come up with the right word, but found yourself distracted by how ridiculously toned his abs were. You stopped poking him and flattened your hand against him, marveling at how well-defined he felt. It took at least a full thirty seconds before your brain reminded you that this was a weird thing to do.
Then a light chuckle reminded you that you also had an audience.
You quickly dropped your hand, clearing your throat awkwardly. Was Diluc staring at you? Probably, but you didn’t dare a look as you turned your attention towards Kaeya.
“Come along now,” he said, ushering the trainee knights back towards Mondstadt. “Let’s give these two lovebirds some privacy. We’ll find some nice, gentle dummies for you all to fight.” Some of the new recruits looked intensely relieved at not having to go up against the legendary wolf on their first day, which, yeah, was fair. But with them gone, you’d be left alone in this embarrassing moment with Diluc.
“Kaeya,” you hissed. “Get back here.” Kaeya kept walking. “Get back here,” you repeated more frantically, pointing at the ground in front of you. Kaeya put a hand up to his ear mouthing something along the lines of, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t hear you,’ as he continued on. “Get back--” Kaeya turned around, and you let out an angry squeak.
“ W-what I-I meant was--” Diluc stammered as the group disappeared from view.
You turned to face him to find his face had turned tomato red.
He took a deep breath and tried again. “I meant if I am unable to go with you. But, I am.” He coughed. “Able, that is.”
You raised an eyebrow. That was literally not what he said, but you’d let it slide. You assumed that he had only made the original comment out of stress, and it took seeing you parading around with the knights to realize what a jerk he’d actually been.
“Alright,” you said. “Want to go challenge an ice wolf?”
Diluc’s expression flattened. “This is for Kaeya, isn’t it?”
“I can call the knights back if you’d rather not--”
“No.” You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before Diluc grabbed your hand and began leading you down the road towards the Wolvendom.
---
“So about what we discussed last night...” Diluc said carefully as the two of you headed back towards the Dawn Winery, prize in hand.
You tensed. So much for never bringing it up again. “Last night?”
“Yeah, you know.” Diluc either didn't notice or decided not to take your out. “The whole... ‘fake married’ thing.”
“You’re not actually considering that, are you?” Why were you so damn nervous all of the sudden? It wasn’t like you had agreed to anything. But then again, why not? It wasn’t like you would fall for a guy like Diluc, right? Someone as prickly as him? Did he even have a romantic bone in his entire body? It would be like falling in love with a mitachurl. Of the blazing axe variety, to be precise. Because of the fire.
“Well, I was giving it some thought, and I realized it could actually be incredibly beneficial,” he explained. “To both of us, I mean. You take most of the commissions around the Windwail Highlands and Brightcrown Mountains--”
“--Because of the treasure,” you reminded him. Why did you feel the need to remind him every time it came up? It wasn’t like you had some other secret reason. Okay, so yeah, the treasure in these areas was pretty much the same as anywhere else, but whatever.
“Right, because of the treasure.” Diluc continued, “So living in the manor just makes sense, I mean, even if we don’t get fake married, it makes sense, it wouldn’t be weird or anything.” Who exactly was he trying to convince, here? “And not having to be worried about having hopeful suitors dropping by the manor would give me more time to work and focus on...” He faltered. “Other duties.”
You rolled your eyes. “Diluc, I know you’re the Dark Knight Hero.”
Diluc looked shocked, but didn’t deny it. “How?”
"It was the hair.”
He stopped in his tracks. “Oh...”
“Yeah.”
“...I’ll get a hood,” he decided before he caught up to you, as if that would solve the problem. Somebody needed to help this man. Wait, as the one who noticed, was it your responsibility now? Archons, it just might be.
“But anyway. The marriage. The fake marriage, that is.” The Archons had a cruel sense of humor to make this man as awkward as he was and then give him a blush that matched his hair color. “What do you think?”
You stopped walking and turned to him. He stopped, too. His face was serious, but his eyes were... hopeful, maybe? Did he really need this that badly? Suddenly the thought of turning him down made you feel extremely guilty. Although, oddly enough, you didn’t want to turn him down. Because of the manor. You wanted to fake marry him for the manor, obviously. Just like how you took the commissions that required you to pass by the winery for the treasure.
“...Alright,” you finally agreed. “But don’t expect me to fall in love with you.”
“I thought that was the point,” Diluc agreed, and you had to summon an image of every cranky, sour, disgruntled face you had ever seen Diluc make in an attempt to block the image of Diluc smiling (not smirking, but actually smiling) that had seared itself into your brain. Not a problem, you assured yourself, it would probably only take a few days of cohabitation before you remembered how aggravating he could be.
In fact, it was mere moments later, when you stopped to gather some small lamp grass, (for him, no less,) that he reminded you of just that by cutting you off mid-comment with a growled ‘I don’t do small talk,’ before he looked at the sky impatiently to assess the time.
“I still have a lot to do at the guild, how about you take a rest while I go back?”
Oh, you were so bringing the Knights or Favonius with you next time.