Chapter Text
As soon as Doreen was out of Jeff’s sight, she pulled out her phone.
To Abed:
So what’s the timetable for this?
I don’t want to add stress for Annie while she’s
so busy with family day.
From Abed:
It should go down later tonight after the dance.
I’ll make sure we’re all in the study room at the same time.
With all of us together, someone is sure to notice something.
And if no one does, I’ll hint at it just enough to get someone to notice.
To Abed:
I hope you’re right about this.
From Abed:
Trust me, I am. This is a classic fake
dating episode. The tropes are never wrong.
With a sigh, Doreen put her phone away. She really did hope Abed was right about this. While she didn’t know what was going to happen tonight, she did know it was going to be a disaster. She had considered just confronting Jeff, but she knew Abed was right. He would never admit it unless the lies came crumbling down right in front of her.
After Doreen had “gone to the bathroom” and met back up with Jeff, they decided to check out some of the events Annie had highlighted. They decided to start with the human being meet and greet. Jeff thought about avoiding it, but he really wanted his mom to know that they weren’t exaggerating how horrifying it was. As if reading Jeff’s mind, the human being and its equally horrifying human being child snuck up behind Doreen and tapped her on the shoulder. Doreen turned to face the human being and yelped, “Jesus Christ!” Angry with the reaction it had received, the human being stormed off, dragging its child with it.
“I see what you mean Jeffrey. That was horrible. But at least it can’t get any worse.”
“Hi!” exclaimed the dean, seemingly coming from nowhere.
“I forgot that summons him,” Jeff said, turning to face the dean.
“Hi, Craig. What do you want?”
“Just coming to see if you and your lovely sister were coming to the dance tonight!”
“You must be the dean I’ve heard so much about. I’m Doreen, Jeff’s mother,” she said, extending her hand.
“Oh wow. So formal. At Greendale, we’re much more casual,” the dean replied, reaching in for a hug.
“Oh, alright,” Doreen said, awkwardly accepting the hug.
“And to answer your question: yes, we’re coming to the dance tonight. Annie would kill me if we didn’t,” Jeff said.
“Wonderful! The Family Dance is set to be our most attended dance yet! And everyone who attends gets a free T-shirt!” the dean said, holding up said T-shirt. Jeff sighed. It was very Craig: black with letters made up of rhinestones that said “Family Dance” in the worst font imaginable. Jeff couldn’t wait to not wear his. Not even Annie could make him. Well, she could, but he wouldn’t be happy about it. God, he hoped she wouldn’t make him wear it.
“Anywho, I have very import-dean things to do, but I will see you later! It was lovely to meet you Doreen!”
“You too, Dean.”
“Oh, please call me Craig.”
“Alright, Craig. It was lovely to meet you.”
With a small wave, the Dean left. After he was out of earshot, Doreen turned to Jeff.
“Did I hear him right?”
“Unfortunately, you probably did, but what specifically?”
“Did he say ‘import-dean?’ instead of important?”
“He forces dean puns into every sentence he can. You get used to it after a while. Chang does it with his name, too. His puns usually make even less sense, which shouldn’t be possible.”
“Oh my. Well, this school is very...unique.”
“It’s okay, mom. It’s a school shaped toilet. But it’s our school shaped toilet, and we love it here. Because of Greendale, I have friends, real friends, for the first time ever,” Jeff said, allowing himself to be a little sentimental. After all, it was true.
“And Annie.”
“And Annie. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Doreen simply nodded. For all the lies he told, she knew that wasn’t one. Jeff looked back at the sheet of paper Annie had given him. He wasn’t used to being open, and that was more than enough for now.
“So, which event do you want to do next?”